- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Daybreak
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Click hereA yellow disc ascends in morning sky,
Illuminating earthbound waves. And sands
Glitter brightly, sparkling crystals. High
Above the shore a sea bird searches, lands
And gathers hard-found sustenance, she must
Achieve another day of life. Her goal:
Survival of the progeny. They trust
And wait success, else lives become the toll
Of nature's cruel, inevitable rush
Toward outcomes man is pow'rless to affect.
No wisdom, no technology can push
The march from natural change. But some reflect
On what our species does to block the road,
On arrogance, which is our moral load.
- COMMENTS
you always look out for the "underdog". humanity often needs a reminder of the havoc we wreak. this is a very nice blend of beauty and destruction.
created past memories of the jetty and watching pelicans and herons drying
their wings in the wind as the sun warmed the sky...thanks...
bluerains
I could have sworn that I have posted this morning my feedback to the poem. I said that I like the imagery and the way it evolves from an idyllic picture at first to the theme of the struggle for survival. I had one caveat, which was that at he end I wish you used more 'showing' (like demonstrating how man is arrogant in nature rather than 'telling' in a generalized way).
Now I notice that my original comment have disappeared? I have to assume that this is an accident, or else you would not have left the option for feedback open for readers. If you had any particular problem with my comment I would appreciate hearing from you about it, especially since I liked the poem (not that not liking it would have been an ok reason to erase a comment).