Thoughts At The End Of 2012

The Christmas tree still shines
Of lights, tinsel, ornaments aglow
Empty of presents, little scraps
Of holiday giftwrap dot the floor
Greenery ready to be dismantled
Dying and almost abandoned

The notes of a treasured song
My playlist, mostly favorite yours
Run, Wires, Your Decision
And So It Goes or My Sacrifice
Far Behind and Forgetting
Only God Knows Why, Burning Bright

A sip of wine, cool sauvignon
To hide the bitterness of my reality
To form a scab over the scars
To help me appreciate what I lost
To make it easier to face the future
To help me say goodbye to the past

Stealing over me, dread and cold
Even the roaring fire doesn’t chase it
Missing you so much for so long
The shadow is in my heart, deep inside
It doesn't get better, doesn't leave
I know it never will and I’m reconciled

The death of one year, the birth of another
Beginning and end and tangled knots
Like the unwinding of a ribbon spool
Tears and dread and unraveling thoughts
The passage of time, an imperfect space
And I find myself back at square one again

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