19th Hole

"How do you 'almost' blow someone?"

"It was weird. We were drunk and high and we kind of played a game of gay chicken. I let him go a long way. I crowd fowl only when he was about to put my dick in his mouth."

"You shoulda let him blow you."

"I'm not gay."

"I know, but every straight guy should get head from a gay guy just once, so they know what a really good blow job feels like."

"I don't think Jordan was gay. I doubt it've been a 'really good blow job.'"

The silence returned. I broke it this time.

"Do you really think gay guys give better head than girls?"

"Absolutely."

"Why are you so sure?"

"One, I've had both, and it's not close. Two, you're never good at something you don't like. If a gay guy is sucking a dick, it's because he wants to suck that dick. He longs to suck that dick. He is going to suck that dick as long and as hard as he can. He is going to savor that dick. If a girl is sucking a dick, it's a means to an end. She doesn't want that dick in her mouth. She just thinks she has to have that dick in her mouth. And she's going to get that dick out of her mouth as soon as she can."

"So, you lick sucking dick?"

"I fucking love it."

"Really? What's to love?"

"Power. Control. Bringing someone else pleasure. Showing off."

"What are you showing off?"

"My base skills, man. I'm really good."

"It seems like a weird thing to love."

"It's not."

My mouth was dry. I was pensive and nervous. I was also hard from all the talk of head and sex. My dick was down my right leg and pressing against my jeans. It wanted out. I caught Michael looking at it.

He re-started the conversation.

"Have you ever had a really good blow job?"

"Aren't blow jobs like pizza, even the bad ones are good?"

"I'm serious. Has any girl ever made love to your dick with her mouth, savoring every inch of it, edging you so you don't come too fast, milking every last drop of cum out of you because she knows you want her to eat your cum, and then staying on your dick until you force her to stop, because she just fucking loves having that dick in her mouth?"

"I'm pretty sure that's a 'no'."

"Well, that's how it's supposed to be. That's how I suck dick."

We had never talked about sex before. I was drunk and high and I wanted to know what that kind of blow job felt like. I was on the edge of the cliff looking over. I jumped.

"Care to prove it?"

I saw Michael flinch. I stood up, unbuttoned my jeans, pulled them down, and stepped out of them. I pulled my shirt over my head, and stood naked in front of Michael, my best friend.

Michael stared at my dick. It is almost 7 inches long, thicker at the head than the base, with a slight upward curve.

I could tell he wanted it. But, he was still polite, asking "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I am."

"If we cross this line, everything is going to change."

"It doesn't have to."

"It always does. I've done this before, and it always does."

I moved forward, bringing my dick closer to his face. I should have, but, at that moment, in that moment, I didn't care if it changed everything. I wanted Michael to suck my dick. I need Michael to suck my dick.

He said, "I don't think this is a good idea. I don't want to lose my best friend over a blow job."

I responded, "You won't." I was not sure I was right. But, at that point, I was willing to say anything to get what I wanted. I moved forward again. My dick was now right in front of Michael's mouth.

Michael was torn. It was clear he wanted my dick. It was also clear he was worried about what taking it would mean.

I resolved his conflict. I took his head in my hands and pressed my dick to his lips. He opened his lips and took me into his mouth. I watched him swallow all 7 inches, burying his face in my pubes. As he did, he milked my dick with his throat.

Michael grabbed my hips and started to work my dick in and out of his mouth. I had never been deep throated before, and the warm moisture from the head to the base of my dick was pushing me toward the edge. But, every time I got close, Michael backed off, licking my balls or kissing my stomach as my orgasm ebbed. I now knew what he meant by "power" and "control." He was totally in charge.

I also knew what he meant by "loving" to give head. He clearly enjoyed what he was doing, and he was making it last as long as he could. He was savoring my dick. And, he was awesome at it.

I stood there watching him love on my dick, his thick lips sliding up and down the length of my shaft and his tongue applying pressure directly under the head.

The sight turned me on. I needed to come. I could feel my orgasm starting down in my feet.

I started to move in rhythm with him. He added his hand, gripping my dick as an extension of his mouth. I could not ward off the coming jolt.

I knew I should warn Michael, but I also wanted to come in his mouth. I wanted the full experience.

My affection for him overcame my base instincts. I gave him a heads up, so to speak.

"Oh, God, I'm gonna come . . . . I'm gonna come."

My warning had the opposite effect to the one I feared, as Michael redoubled his efforts and took my dick as deep as he could. I went over the edge, erupting repeatedly directly in his throat. As I finished, Michael slowly worked his way to the head of my dick, milking every ounce of cum I had to give.

Michael swallowed and took my dick back to the base again, clenching and unclenching it with his throat. I couldn't take any more. I had to force my dick out of his mouth. Just as he said I would.

I collapsed back onto the couch. I felt weird sitting there nude, but I was too spent to dress. And, my dick was too sensitive for jeans.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Sure," I said.

"What are you thinking?"

"That you were right."

"So, it was a good one?"

"Dude, it was a great one. I've never been sucked like that. I've never come like that."

"It's the difference between getting to do it and having to do it."

We sat there in silence until Michael grabbed the bong, took another big hit, and passed it to me. While I had the bong to my mouth, Michael told me I had a really nice dick. When I let the pot leave my lungs, I muttered, "Thank you."

Michael stood to leave, which was odd. He almost always stayed over.

"I'm gonna head out."

"No, you're not. You're staying here." I wanted Michael to understand nothing had changed.

There was no more discussion over whether Michael would stay the night. There was also no discussion over where he'd sleep.

The 19th Hole

(Part Three)

Michael was asleep. I was not. My mind was too active over what had just happened and filled with questions about what would happen moving forward.

Now that we had crossed the line, would we stay on the "wrong" side?

If you have free blow jobs available, shouldn't you take them?

If your best friend is willing to blow you, shouldn't you let him?

I have bad eyesight, so I leaned over Michael to look at the clock. It was 12:17. So, it was Christmas morning. Michael opened his eyes and looked up at me.

"Merry Christmas," I said.

"Merry Christmas," he mumbled back, pulling me into an embrace as he did. I had never hugged a man bare chest to bare chest before. Michael was firm and warm. The thick hair on his chest tickled mine.

Michael answered most of my questions when I broke the hug. He moved to his side and leaned on his arm. When I looked at him, he smiled and put his hand to my chest. He started to tickle my chest and my stomach. I got hard, and the mesh gym shorts I had put on to sleep did little to hide it.

Michael leaned toward me and whispered "take off your shorts" as he moved his mouth to my left nipple. I am weak, and I wanted another blow job.

"You take them off."

Michael moved between my legs and pulled my shorts down and off. To my surprise, Michael brought my left foot to his face and licked from the arch up to my toes. He sucked my toes. My feet are ticklish. I cringed with pleasure.

Michael licked up my leg, especially my inner thigh. As he did, he spread my legs wide. Before I knew what was happening, Michael was licking my taint and then my asshole. I tried to stop him, but he pushed his face in farther when I did.

"Michael!"

He raised his head. "Shhh. . . . Relax. . . . It's Christmas."

"I don't think I want you to do that."

"Yes, you do. You'll see."

Michael returned to my ass. I was getting my first rim job. No one had ever played with my ass before, much less eaten it. I had never touched it sexually.

It felt good. But, it also felt weird. I felt was too exposed and vulnerable.

I was about to shut the whole thing down when Michael moved to my balls and then to my dick. Michael was again making love to my dick, speeding up and then slowing down, pulling off and then deep throating me. He was right. He had base skills.

I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the warmth of his mouth and the sound of his slurping. Instinctively, I again started to match his rhythm with my hips. When I did, he again added his hand to my dick and moved his mouth and hand in unison. Every time I got close, he'd slow down and back me off. He was torturing me. I was getting blown and blue balls at the same time.

Michael briefly pulled off my dick, I later learned to soak the middle finger of his right hand with saliva. I wanted his mouth back on my dick, so I raised up to meet him. As he took me back into his mouth, he again spread my legs wide. He took my dick to the base. As he did, I felt his finger at my asshole. I was too close and too turned on to protest.

As I fucked his face, Michael forced his finger inside me, stopping at the first knuckle. I used my hand to force him as far down on my dick as I could. He buried his finger in my ass. As he moved it in circles, I crashed over the edge, filling his mouth once again with my load. He drank it all and continued to work my ass. A hint of sweat broke out over my entire body.

Michael kept working my dick and my ass. I stayed hard. In short order, I was coming again. I had never had a repeat orgasm before. I didn't even know it was a thing. It was not as strong as the first, but it again brought a hint of sweat to my entire body.

I finally couldn't take anymore. "Dude, you've got to get off my dick."

Michael did as instructed. My soft dick fell into place as Michael kissed my abdomen. I was ticklish and tingly. I was also a little worried about where he was headed.

He licked my sides.

He licked and sucked my nipples.

He raised my arms and licked my armpits.

He licked and kissed my neck.

When I thought he was going to try to kiss me, I turned my head. I felt shitty as I did. But, I was not up for that. It was just too much.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Don't be. That's my fault. I took it too far."

"It's fine."

"It's not."

To show him it was fine, I pulled him into a full embrace. I could feel his hard dick against my leg. It felt big. Really, really big.

I kissed Michael's forehead and held him.

"Thank you," I said. "That was awesome."

"Was that your first rim job?"

"Yep. First rim job. First finger fuck. First multiple orgasm."

"I guess it's been a day of firsts."

"It's tomorrow. It's been two days of firsts."

We fell asleep. Michael's head was on my shoulder and his hand was on my chest. I was naked.

When I awoke, I had a raging hard on. Michael was gone, of course. I jacked off thinking of his mouth on my dick. When I came, I scooped one of the splatters off my chest and ate it. I loved the taste of my cum.

The 19th Hole

(Part Four)

In "Forever," Judy Blume wrote "You can never go back to holding hands."

Michael and I had never held hands. But, it was soon clear we could never go back to sexlessness.

Christmas Eve set the precedent for our friendship moving forward. We spent every Friday night together. We always wound up at my house and in my bed. I allowed Michael to do pretty much whatever he wanted to me, within our unspoken parameters (no kissing, no expecting me to touch him, no mutual nudity). I shaved my ass and balls for him (I was not going to clipper my bush; I liked my bush).

Michael was a maestro and pleasured me like no one else ever had. He ate my ass and fucked it with his tongue and his fingers. He sucked my toes and fingers. His tongue and fingers explored every nook and cranny below my collar bone. He devoured my body before making love to my dick. He always made me come, and I always finished deep in his throat.

Michael always stayed over. I almost always slept naked. Periodically, I could feel Michael's hard on pressing against me, but he never tried to force it on me. He did not dry hump me, try to get me to touch his dick, or try to get the two of us naked together. After Christmas Eve, he did not even try to to kiss me.

Michael was always gone when I awoke. I finally asked him why.

"If I am still there when you wake up, it's going to be awkward. Is there supposed to be more sex? Are we supposed to shower together? Are we supposed to make breakfast together? Are we supposed to figure out what we're going to do with our Saturday's together? We shouldn't do any of those things. So, I leave. I go home. I jack off, and I try to figure out my weekend."

"What do you think about when you jack off?" he asked.

"What do you think about when you jack off?" I responded.

"You. Your mouth on my dick. My dick in your throat."

"Well, I think about the same thing."

I shouldn't have been, but I was surprised. I assumed Michael had a greater fantasy than that.

When the golf season resumed, it was a given that Michael would be a regular in our group. One, he was a strong addition to the group; he could golf his ball, and he was a genuine, good guy. Two, my buddies by now understood that Michael and I were bros. They did not know the extent of our bromance (naturally), but they knew we were close. They regularly teased me about it, if Michael was not around.

"You know he stares at your ass."

"You know he thinks about you when he jacks off."

"You know he thinks about you when he fucks another guy's ass."

I knew they were right about 1 and 2. But, I also knew they were wrong about 3. Michael was not fucking any other guy's ass.

We had talked about it. He hadn't really tried to fuck anyone since Christmas, and neither had I. Neither of us thought our "monogamy" wise, but we were too inert to do anything about it. We often added Saturdays to our Fridays.

Michael's birthday was April 19. I knew I could not match his birthday gift to me. It was the most thoughtful gift I had ever received. I was not a thoughtful human.

I had an idea for a birthday gift, but I was not sure I could pull it off. I thought about it for a long time. I decided to go for it. But, I had to be high to try.

I smoked pot all afternoon and took Ecstasy at about 5:30, as I was cooking Michael's birthday meal (pork chops with apples, asparagus, and homemade macaroni and cheese). He showed up at 6. We ate at a makeshift table in my living room, drinking two bottles of red wine as we did.

About halfway through the meal, Michael asked me if I was high. I told him yes. I did not mention the X.

When we were finished with dinner, I told Michael I had dessert surprise. I am sure he thought it was a birthday cake. Instead, I stood up, took his hand, and led him to the bedroom. Once there, I let his hand go and started unbuttoning his shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"Giving you your birthday present?"

"What is it?"

"Whatever you want. Tonight and tonight only. We do whatever you want." (As I look back, I see the arrogance of assuming he would want me for his birthday).

"Kyle, I'm not sure about this. We have settled into something we can both live with. Changing lanes now could be dangerous."

I quoted him back at him. "Shhh. . . . Relax. . . . It's your birthday."

I returned to unbuttoning his shirt. He lifted my face to his. He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me. It was all I could do not to pull away. But, I didn't.

Michael's lips were full and firm. To my surprise, I did not mind the kiss or the forcefulness of it. He slid his hand around the back of my neck and held my head still. He opened his mouth and forced his tongue into mine. I was all in, so I kissed him back. As we kissed, Michael finished unbuttoning his shirt and pulled it off. I did the same.

Michael moved his hands to my ass and pushed his junk into mine. His dick was hard and huge. Mine was neither.

My hands were still hanging at my sides, not doing anything. I felt like Lillith from Cheers. I grabbed Michael around the waist. We were still kissing. It was a deep, powerful kiss, and I realized I was enjoying it.

I moved my hands to his belt buckle and undid it. I unbuttoned his jeans, including the button fly.

I dropped to my knees to pull Michael's jeans down.

"Kyle, you don't have to do this."

"I know."

When I had Michael's jeans down, he stepped out of them. I was about to see his dick for the first time. I grabbed the elastic of his boxers and pulled them down. They got caught on his dick. The only way to get them down was to move his dick out of the way. I had never touched another guy's dick before.

I pulled the boxers out, took Michael's dick in my hand, and pulled the boxers over it. I was not sure what I expected, but his dick felt like, well, a dick. It was warm and soft to the touch. It was just skin, although it was pulsating.

It was right in front of my face. It dwarfed mine, both in length and thickness. I felt like a little boy next to it. I was not sure what to do. I thought I should put my mouth on it, but I also thought I should probably never put my mouth on a dick.

Michael's hands were in my hair. Just as I was about to put my tongue on his dick, he rescued me by pulling me up. He kissed me again. It was one thing to have a guy's tongue in my mouth. It was a whole other thing to have his dick in my mouth.

Michael broke the kiss and moved me toward the bed.

"I want you to fuck me," he said.

"I'm not sure I can."

"You said 'whatever you want.' That's what I want."

"I'll be right back," I said. I went to the bathroom and took one of the purple pills I kept on hand, just in case.

When I returned to the room, neither of us said anything. Michael worked me out of my jeans, and we were both naked together for the first time. Michael put his dick on top of mine and started working them with his hands. He kissed me again as he did.

I gave myself a private pep talk. "Ride the wave. You can do it. Ride the wave."

Michael sat down on the bed and took my dick in his mouth. I was tingly from his handiwork, and his mouth around my dick made me tingle even more.

Michael pulled me down on top of him, then maneuvered me around so we were in a 69 position. He took my back in his mouth. My dick now curved directly down his throat. I was quickly fucking his face, my dick deep in his throat.

Michael's dick was right in my face. I again felt like I should put my mouth on it, but I was not sure I could.

Just as I was about to try, Michael pulled my dick out of his mouth and adjusted us so he was directly under me.

"Do you have any lube?"

"I don't."

"Baby oil?"

"I think so." I headed to the bathroom, found what I was looking for, and headed back. Michael had turned around yet again, and his head was now on "his" pillow.

"I don't have a condom," I said. I hated condoms. I hadn't worn one in years.

"You don't need one," he said.

He held his hand out, and I handed him the baby oil. He filled his hands with it. He coated my dick with it and then poured more over his balls and ass.

I was still standing beside the bed. Michael reached over, grabbed my dick, and pulled me onto the bed by it.