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Click hereBut Tammy couldn't stay mellow for long: "Anyway, what's the matter with that woman, for Christ sake? All the girls here think the world of you. Shit! We hope our boyfriends would be half the sweet guy you are."
That last remark was soothing for a cuckold guy.
"Thanks Tammy! I needed a little boost. But now, can you patch me to Mike? Oh, and when Eileen phoned, tell her that I quit. That way she won't phone back... hopefully."
"Sure will do! Hang on there, Kieran! I'll transfer you."
After giving Mike the layout of my situation, he gave me my much-needed time-off.
The rest of the day was spent in looking for apartments for rent and buying a few things, including a few changes of clothes. I also bought a pay-as-you-go cell phone and requested a change of phone number for my present one.
Shortly after 3:00 PM, I parked across from Mary's school. I was hoping that Eileen had send her to school despite the tragedy, a way to keep things as regular as possible, and having her to share her worries with her friends, in a familiar environment. And indeed, I finally saw her coming among the throng of school kids rushing out. I came out of the car to meet her. Upon seeing me, she ran and threw herself in my open arms.
"Oh Dad, what's going on? Don't tell me Mark is right and that you and Mom are getting a divorce?" she told me, tears coming down her cheeks.
There was no way I could get off easy with simple reassuring clichés. I didn't want to tell her about me finding out that Eileen was fucking around (although I died to do it out of spite), but I told her that her mom had somebody else in her life and that we had to split.
Under her serious and hard stare, I defended myself, shoving the responsibility upon Eileen nevertheless. She tried to convince me to do something, anything to get back to normal, but I wasn't responsive and she felt it.
At last, she spit at me, "And me? Do you think of me? What will I become?"
Taken aback by her anger toward me, I did a first mistake with my daughter. I choose the wrong road. I let my own anger take over.
"Listen Mary. It wasn't my fault. Your mom was lying to us and cheating on me for years (a little exaggeration might help my case). I didn't choose to have her make a fool of me, to betray my trust. She did it all by herself. She spread her legs for her lover and then came back home to us like if nothing was wrong. Well, it was wrong, very wrong! Now I know it and I hate her and I don't want nothing to do with her, ever!"
It was Mary's turn to be surprised by my angry tirade. "But Daddy, don't you love her anymore?"
"No!" was my answer, "but I don't want to loose you. Here, take that phone. It's the only way I can talk to you without having to talk to your mom."
She started crying again, the finality of that new piece of equipment showing her that a whole world of bitterness was waiting ahead.
"I already recorded my new cell phone number on it. Only you and Mark will know it."
More hugs and kisses and then she left back for home, dispirited. I learned later that Eileen fought back and convinced Mary that it was my decision to divorce her and was pushing Mary to choose to live with her. So be it!
Once my concerns for Mary were put at ease, I drove back to the motel. I even had a chat with the clerk to keep him informed of my day. What do you want? I am a sociable kind of guy.
Back to my room, my cell phone rang.
"Daddy, you lied to me", was Mary's greeting. "Mom told me that she still loves you and doesn't want to be without you. That's only you wanting a divorce, not her!"
Here I did my second mistake in regard of my daughter. Again, I let my anger out.
"Well, if she loves me, ask her why she has been lying to us for the last 2 years? Why she was fucking around with other men? Ask how it felt to kiss one man and then come home and kiss you and me like nothing was wrong? She's been lying to us for years. Why should we believe her now?"
"But Dad..." she tried to put in.
" No but Dad! When you ask her that, tell her also that the last time she saw me, with her boyfriend's hand up her ass, was the last time she will ever see me". I hung up on my daughter.
One minute later, the phone rang again. I answered.
"Kieran, why did you talk like that to Mary. It's between you and me..." started to say Eileen.
I hung up and turned the phone off.
It was just the beginning!
- COMMENTS
He's not wrong to push all the blame on his wife.
I don't understand 'my next mistake was...' Yes, he was angry. He's ALLOWED to be a child about this. It's RAW EMOTIONAL TRAUMA. That's how psychology views betrayal at this level. His daughter IS old enough to be more nurturing and less petty. His cheating whore of a wife is old enough to accept the blame, and NOT alienate him from his children for HER FUCK UP. The least she can do is show some honesty. She didn't just cheat her husband, she broke something precious in their family. It's not 'the man's job' to be the stoic face of understanding, patience, and compassion in the face of such a trauma. Men are ALLOWED to cry at funerals. Men are ALLOWED to show raw emotion sometimes.
So I'm a little disgusted with author's sexist view of men, and his family are just simpleton children....unable to show a hint of either personal responsibility or empathy.....well except his son....but that goes without saying....because...penis...and author sexist.
Way too wimpy Mc. Just another man hater author. Husbands fault, of course. Mc does not even seem to,be able to express himself adequately. Brain dead.