Always Darkest for Dawn

Copyright 2016

"Oh, my, my. Mr. McCoy, she's back again."

"Huh, what's that Louella? Who's back? What are you going on about?"

"It's poor Miss Johnson. She's walking back and forth in front of the bus station and she's carrying that suitcase again. Oh dear me, the poor thing."

Mr. McCoy put down the merchandise he was marking with the price gun then walked over to the large plate glass window and looked out. Sure enough there she was, pacing back and forth while looking around in all directions. Sighing to himself he headed back behind the glass and wood counter and picked up the telephone.

"I'm going to call her daddy and let him know that she's there. It's the least that I can do."

"You do that Mr. McCoy. I'm going to see if I can get her to come inside and wait. Today is too hot to be out like that and she's not wearing a hat or anything."

Without waiting for a reply Louella hurried out the door and crossed the sun baked street.

"Good afternoon Miss Johnson and how are you today?"

"Oh hello Louella, I'm fine and you?" she replied but it was clear that she was distracted. Though she stopped walking for the time being her blue eyes remained restless as she scanned up and down the nearly deserted street.

"I'm well but it's so hot this afternoon I declare that the devil himself might be uncomfortable. Now what are you doing out in the sun like this Miss Johnson without a hat? Your skin is far too fair to be exposed and if you're not careful you'll be getting heatstroke. Why don't you come back with me and get something cold to drink. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Thank you Louella but I can't. It is mighty hot but I'm waiting for someone. If I was to leave and he wasn't able to find me I don't know what I'd do. No, I have to wait."

"Well I'll tell you what. Why don't you cross the street with me but you don't have to go inside. You can sit on the bench out front where it's shadier than this side of the street. That way you can still see if someone arrives but you'll be out of the sun, okay?"

Not waiting for a reply Louella took the woman by the arm and began to lead her. For a second she resisted but after a moment she allowed Louella to guide her across the street to the bench in front of the five and dime.

"Now you sit here Miss Johnson and rest while I go get you a nice cold glass of lemonade."

"All right thank you; it is much cooler over here."

As Louella headed inside she glanced back. She saw that though Miss Johnson had sat down she was perched on the edge of the bench and was still looking around anxiously. While sitting she reflexively smoothed out the skirt of her summer dress again and again as if she needed to do something with her nervous energy.

"Well did you get hold of Mr. Johnson?" she asked Mr. McCoy while heading to the luncheonette counter located in the back of the store.

"Yes I did, he says to keep her here and everything will be taken care of. It's a shame, I remember her before this all happened. Back when she was in high school everyone expected so much from her. She was homecoming queen and so beautiful that everyone said she should be in the movies. Then she went off to college and things went bad. Such a terrible waste."

"I know," replied Louella as she walked to the front of the store carrying a large glass of lemonade, "she was only four years behind me in school. My youngest brother was in her graduating class and I remember her winning homecoming and she was also the prom queen that year. She still looks great for her age, I wish I'd kept my looks and figure half as well as she has but to what end? It's a pity when someone's mind goes like that. There but for the grace of the Lord above."

Louella went back into the afternoon heat. She sat down next to Miss Johnson and handed her the glass of lemonade and watched as the woman daintily took a sip.

"Now isn't that refreshing Miss Johnson? Nothing better on a hot, summer day."

"Yes it does hit the spot I must say. Thank you Louella, you're very kind."

"Don't be silly, that's what neighbors are for -- to help each other out."

The two women sat there silently after that for Miss Johnson seemed lost in her thoughts and Louella was at a loss of what to say. When a Cadillac Coupe de Ville pulled up in front of the store and the driver climbed out Louella made her exit.

"Well it's been nice visiting with you Miss Johnson but I have to get back to work before Mr. McCoy has a fit. You take care, you hear."

Miss Johnson didn't reply but instead watched as the man from the car approached. He was an older, heavyset fellow wearing a dark, rumpled suit and tie and he mopped his brow with a handkerchief as he walked.

"Well, well Dawn. Now what are you doin' here? I figured you'd be home at this time of day. They'll be serving supper soon unless I'm mistaken," he said in a booming voice.

"Hello Doctor Howard," she replied in a voice barely above a whisper.

With a loud sigh he sat next to her causing the bench to creak from his weight.

"Now you haven't answered me child. What you be a doin' here and does your daddy know where you are?" he asked as he patted her knee.

She shrank away from his touch before answering him.

"I'm waiting for someone. I don't know if Daddy knows where I am. Why does it matter? I'm a grown woman, I can go where I want, can't I?"

"Of course you can Dawn. No one's telling you that you can't. But you have to remember I'm not only your physician but an old family friend as well. You know I only have your best interests at heart. I wouldn't steer you wrong. Now who are you waiting for? I see you have a suitcase. Are you going someplace?"

"Yes I'm leaving and I'm never coming back to this awful town again. Do you hear me? I'm never coming back!!"

After her outburst she burst into tears as her body shook with sobs and she buried her face in her hands. The doctor looked at her with an uncomfortable expression on his face for a few minutes and it wasn't until she had somewhat calmed down that he attempted to speak with her.

"Now there was no need getting so upset with me Dawn. You know I've known you since you were knee high to a boll weevil. I'm not trying to keep you from doing anything but just looking after your health. So I'll tell you what we're going to do. I'm going to drive you home so you can get out of this infernal heat. If anyone comes looking for you they can come to your house, okay? Now be a good girl and do as I say."

Dragging himself to his feet the doctor took her by her hand and tugged on it gently. Dawn shook her head no but when he persisted in his efforts she reluctantly stood and allowed him to lead her to his car. He opened the door and after she sat he leaned in to fasten the seatbelt around her. He held his breath and his hand shook a little as the thin fabric divided her full breasts while he adjusted the seatbelt. Finally he finished and as his hand pulled away it grazed her thigh causing her body to start.

A half hour later found Doctor Howard trudging down the grand, semi-circular staircase where a tall, gray haired man anxiously waited for him at the bottom.

"Well Doc, how is she?"

"She's resting comfortably now. I've given her a sedative."

"All right. Would you like a drink? I know I need one," the man said as he pulled a stopper from a decanter and poured himself a generous amount of bourbon. Without waiting for a reply he drank it down before pouring himself another and turning toward the doctor who was shaking his head.

"Now Henry, you better watch your drinking. Take it easy, won't you."

"Bah! Always the doctor. Now you never said if you wanted one or not?"

"Of course I want one but unfortunately I have to take a raincheck. I was about to visit a bedbound patient right before you called and now I really need to go see him. And Henry, yes I'm your doctor and with your heart in the shape it's in you have to be careful about how much you drink."

"Hrrmph, I suppose that means you won't be staying for dinner either. Do me a favor then. Whenever you're through making house calls, stop by. We have to talk about Dawn. It's important."

"Fine Henry. I'll let myself out, and I'll see you later."

As Doctor Howard left the house Dawn lay upstairs sleeping while Novalyne, the longtime family maid, hovered nearby watching like a hawk. The sleep seemed far from peaceful however with Dawn moving about restlessly beneath the sheet and murmuring under her breath which caused Novalyne to pray to the Lord above for her mistress' well- being.

1972 Auburn University, Alabama

"Don't be wicked Tanya, you know everybody. You have to know who he is," Dawn said to her sorority sister as she tried to subtly glance in the direction of the man she was asking about.

"Dawn I'm telling you I don't know but he sure is mighty handsome. It's a good thing for you I'm going steady with Bob or you'd have competition, that's for sure. And he's looking this way again but I wouldn't get your hopes up. No doubt he's looking at me and wondering if he has a chance."

"Oh my God Tanya, you are terrible. If he comes over and talks to you I will so tell him that you're taken and I'll tell Bob too."

"Oh you know I'm just kidding Dawn. But don't you worry I have a plan. I'm going over there to talk to Betty Sue. If she doesn't know who he is, which I find hard to believe because she really does know everyone, then she can find out for us. Plus if he keeps looking your way after I'm gone then you'll know it's you he's interested in, as hard as that is for me to believe," Tanya teased her friend.

"Gee thanks," Dawn replied as her friend sauntered away.

No sooner did Dawn peek back in the direction of where he'd been standing then she noticed he was no longer there. As she debated whether to look for him discreetly or to be the true southern lady and never do such a forward thing he appeared at her elbow.

"Excuse me Miss, but I couldn't help noticing that you didn't have anything to drink so I brought you some punch if you're thirsty."

"Why I declare that is very gentlemanly of you sir," Dawn answered in an exaggerated Southern drawl, "but going by your funny accent I have to assume you're not from around here. In fact if I'm not mistaken you sound just like a Yankee."

"Guilty as charged ma'am, but I have to say in my defense that it's you that has the funny accent though you make it sound wonderful. And I also thank you because most of the time I'm told I sound like a damn Yankee. For a while I thought it was one word."

She laughed and nodded. "Well around these parts that is how your kind is spoken of, but you seem to be an exceptionally polite one. So thank you sir, I will have that glass of punch now for I feel parched from explaining things to you."

"And here you're complimenting me on my manners," he said as he handed her the glass, "and I forgot to properly introduce myself, though I maintain it was your beauty that made me forget. Beautiful girls tend to have that effect on me."

"Well you can never go wrong in complimenting a lady. I thank you sir."

"The pleasure is all mine. But before I forget again my name is John, John Carroll."

"I'm pleased to make your acquaintance John Carroll. I'm Dawn Johnson of the Tennessee Johnsons."

He took her proffered hand and shook it and as he did Dawn felt her knees go weak for a second.

'Get hold of yourself girl' she thought before wondering if that was what love at first sight felt like.

"So John, where are you from? And what made you decide to attend college at Auburn?" she asked after regaining control of herself.

"That's a funny story," he said as he pushed his dark hair away from his eye where it had fallen, "I'm actually from Auburn. Auburn, New York that is."

"Really, you don't say. I never knew there was such a place."

"Most people don't; it's not so big. Around thirty thousand people, I guess. Closest city to it you might have heard of is Syracuse. It's also right next to one of the Finger Lakes."

"I've heard of those and Syracuse too. So because you're from Auburn you decided to go to school at Auburn?"

"Not exactly. It was really because of my guidance counselor in high school. He knew I didn't have the money to attend college and he had a cousin who had gone to Auburn on a football scholarship."

"So you play football? I don't remember seeing you at the games and I think I would have remembered because you're so good looking," Dawn said without thinking after which she felt herself blush with embarrassment.

He smiled at her compliment prompting her to look at her feet as she mentally kicked herself. He paused a moment before replying for he was enjoying her self-conscious reaction.

"Well I did play football in high school but I wasn't good enough for a scholarship or anything. I did get a partial one from the National Honor Society though by itself that wasn't enough for tuition."

"So, you're a scholar as well as an athlete. That is something to be proud of."

"Well I just realized I have to work hard at everything if I'm going to get anywhere in life. My family doesn't have the money to help me so I was lucky that Mr. Parker was willing to leave no stone unturned. Maybe he played up me being from Auburn, I'm not sure, but somehow he was able to get me a scholarship here. What about you? Do a lot of students from Tennessee come here?"

"I don't know about a lot though our states do border one another. The reason I came was because my Mama had, not only the school but this sorority also. So I guess you could say I'm following in her footsteps."

"She must be very proud."

"I don't know. She died when I was seven. I'd like to think she's watching me from above."

"I'm sorry Dawn..."

"That's all right. It was a long time ago. It would have been nice to talk to her about things as I grew up but what can you do. So what year are you now? I'm a sophomore."

"I'm a junior myself."

"I see. So are you enjoying this little soiree my sorority is throwing?"

"It's gotten a lot better in the past five minutes, that's for sure. I have to remember to thank my friend Clyde for bringing me. It's not every day I have a chance to socialize, especially with such a charming young lady."

"Well thank you. I hope your lack of a social life isn't because you're being ostracized due to your Yankee heritage."

"No, nothing like that. In fact I've made good friends here and for the most part everyone is willing to overlook my being a Yankee," he said with a self-deprecating grin. "But between assignments, studying, and other school work I'm kind of busy. Plus I have a couple of part time jobs so that doesn't leave me much free time."

"But I thought you were here on scholarship. Why do you need to work so hard?"

"That only pays for tuition and room and board. I need money to spend and to tell the truth my car is a big drain."

"You have a car?"

"Yeah, a '69 Mustang and its always thirsty for gas as well as maintenance. That's how I travel between here and New York."

"Ooh, my friend's cousin Beau has one of those. He likes to drag race some of his friends with it. They're pretty fast, aren't they?"

"They can be, especially in a straightaway. They're not called muscle cars for nothing."

During the conversation Tanya and another member of the sorority passed behind John and as they did they made faces directed at Dawn but she ignored them while continuing to listen avidly.

"Do you think you could give me a ride sometime? That is when you're not too busy of course. Do you have it here? I'd love to take a look at it."

"I'd be happy to give you a ride. Unfortunately I didn't drive it here so you'll have to wait."

"That's too bad. There's a beautiful moon out tonight and there isn't much nicer than a moonlit drive."

"Umm, I can't help there but do you want to go on the front porch to look at the sky?"

"I do declare that I would enjoy that very much John. Sometimes it gets quite stuffy in here."

"Well let me refill our glasses first."

"All right but make sure to scoop it from the bottom. It tends to be stronger there."

"Okay, be right back."

No sooner had he left then Tanya made a beeline for her friend.

"So, how goes it Dawn?"

"Wonderful. He's very nice despite being a Yankee. We're going to look at the moon so I'll see you in a smidge."

A few minutes later found them standing outside staring up at the starry night sky. Almost without realizing it Dawn found herself leaning back into his athletic body. He said nothing at first, just enjoyed the closeness of her to him, the scent of her perfume and shampoo wafting up to his nose while the faint sound of music from the party came to his ears. Finally he had to speak.

"Dawn?"

"Yes. What is it?"

"I have to ask; do you have a boyfriend?"

"No, no I don't," she replied and she was never happier over that reality than at that moment, "I haven't had a serious boyfriend since high school."

"Then I'd like to ask you out. What do you say? May I take you to dinner some time?"

She turned to face him before replying and to him her eyes were sparkling brighter than the heavens above.

"Yes John, I'd love to."

The two stood like that for a minute, saying nothing but just staring into each other's eyes until he couldn't take it anymore. Leaning down he kissed her lips softly. She returned the kiss, her lips parting as she did so. His hand brushed against her shoulder length blond hair as it sought her face. After a minute they stopped to collect themselves.

"That was nice; you're a good kisser John Carroll. Did you learn how in New York?"

"I guess," he replied with a shrug, "would you like to take a walk?"

She just nodded in reply, and the two began walking. They spoke much of the time though on occasion they were silent but either way they enjoyed each other's company. Soon after they started their hands found each other and clasped with neither mentioning it though it felt natural to both, as if their hands fit perfectly together. More than once they stopped and kissed before continuing as they lost all track of time. Whether it was an hour or many they couldn't have honestly said for they were so into each other that all else felt like a dream. So it was that they were caught unaware as dark, storm clouds rolled in blocking out the moon and stars and it wasn't until raindrops began to fall on them they realized it.

"Come on," he said as he began to run while the rain pelted them.

She clutched his hand tightly as she ran while the heavens opened up. They had wandered so far afield that they became soaked long before making it back to her sorority house but this didn't dampen their mood at all. In fact much of the time they laughed aloud as they ran prompting more than one passing observer to look at them as if they were crazy.

Finally they arrived back at the house soaked to the skin. They must have been gone longer than they thought for though the party was still going on some people were leaving as they arrived. They stood on the front porch dripping as they caught their breath.

"Dawn, I had a great time and I hate to end it but I have to work early tomorrow. I don't want to wait until next weekend to see you again, so let me ask. Can we go out some night during the week? I'm free Tuesday and Wednesday nights."

"That's fine John. Either night works for me."

"Well let's say Tuesday then. The sooner the better," he said with a smile.

She smiled back at him. "Maybe we'll see each other around on campus before that."

"I'll certainly be looking."

Unable to think of anything else to say he leaned in and kissed Dawn as the rain continued to fall. More than once some departing partygoers made comments as they passed but neither of them took notice. Finally they separated and after staring at each other for a minute John turned to go.