by DukeofPaducah
I choose to believe that the slut is going to have an “accident” while up at the cabin, and won’t be found until the local wildlife had a few free meals!
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ZK
Good revenge on Ben but keeping the cheater wife detracts from the score a couple of stars.
Hmmm, fuck up the guy's truck and all is well? I'm sure she'll never do anything like that again - at least for a few days.
Not bad. I thought the revenge on the guy was perfect. But about Tess???? I assume he put some tracker on her car when he popped the hood. Won't be long before she lies again. And we can have the return of Skittles!! D
A pair of forgiving brothers in this very unforgiving world.
Well done, I say and a 5*.
I loved the Skunk trick. That was awesome means of revenge. But I don't care for the sex with a cheating wife like that. If he wants to get off or have some kind of revenge sex on her then wear a condom to send her a message.
Your story but in my world at the cabin he has a heart to heart and tells her they are done. No BTB or beating. Just say we are done.
"The original is prefaced with an open invitation to finish it." - If there was an open invitation, why the need to ask permission?
I enjoyed the ride. A bit different so I liked it for some originality.
Keep writing
This and the original were light on penance, but I don't actually mind a reconciliation story when they did not go all the way.
Of course this assumed the eividence the fingerbang was the true extent which is stated, but not 100% clear.
Well done!
'
I feel sure that Tess will have a similar, equally public, comeuppance. Say, a midday skinny-dip in the town sewage treatment facility. Butch and Jay are far too inventive for mere homicide.
'
5-stars and a box of Skittles for this.
Nice burn, but should have been a stand alone with different characters. The question at the end of original was divorce or reconcile. This clearly did not address that at all!
"...I thought for a moment and said, "Tell me who he is."
Panic shot across her face.
"I can see you don't want to. Why not?" I asked.
"I'm afraid," she replied.
"Of what?" I wanted to know.
"Of you hurting him and getting in trouble," she said. "Or him hurting you. I couldn't live with that. Please, just let it go."
I said, "I don't want to do that. I won't hurt him. I promise. If you want me to trust you again, trust me back. Show me that you put my needs before all others. It was in your vows, remember? You said you would do anything. It would be a pretty good start." —
Conversations like this happen in a lot of Loving Wives stories. All to often the husband will asks for the name of the bastard the wife cheated with, but she'll refuse to say. She'll claim she doesn't want her husband to get into any trouble. What the cheater doesn't get is she has already caused tons of trouble for her husband. She has introduced herself, her husband, and intimate knowledge about their marriage to a veritable stranger. By the time she physically engages in acts of intimacy with her lover she will have already given her lothario the ammunition he needs to seriously hurt the man she married. Information is knowledge, knowledge is power, power is control. If the cheating wife doesn't understand this, then shame on her for being 'Jane you ignorant slut'! If she did know this, shame on her for being an evil, black hearted b!tch.
Writing, style, and storyline were better than a lot of efforts in LW. 'Skittles' was indeed a nice touch, that truck would likely be totaled. Even replacing everything inside the cabin, the odor will still be there. On a hot day it will slap you in the face when you open the door.
Still, Ben didn't pay the price he should. Tessa let another man put his fingers inside her body, then allowed him to gratify himself by gratifying her, AND putting something over on her ignorant husband. If Ben loses his truck insurance will still pick up most of the loss and Ben will still have his fingers. So what cost did Ben really pay? A little money? Some aggravation? Did Jay diddle Ben's wife in return? The costs to Ben should have been punitive. Especially in light of the fact that Ben, his friend, Tessa, and her sister planned a three day "conference" to entertain each other (See Ahazura's original story 'Brothers'). Tessa also got off too easy. There shouldn't have been any condonation on Jay's part. He should have stopped Tessa's advances as soon as he could. He should have insisted on a post nuptial agreement. And he should have insisted on some new monitoring terms. A single joint credit card for her with no credit cards to be in her name only. His name to be included on all electronic device accounts. Passwords for her devices and any financial and social media accounts.
I am okay with Jay reconciling with Tessa. But Tessa will have to do some penance, for a while. Ben and Tessa both got off way to easy. So for me it's 4★. —
I. Loved. This. Frankly, it deserves a five, if only for the existence of a skunk named Skittles. The interaction between the brothers also works really well. The main character's voice is really well executed--pragmatic, with a definite dose of humor. That said, I agree with a lot of commenters about the reconciliation, which came way too easy. Her reticence to rat out her affair partner suggests that these characters have a way to go if they hope to make this marriage last.
One star reduction because I had to go searching for the original. Four stars for a good, earthy tale. Would have been five if you had linked the original.
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JPB NOT BOB
So..... I looked up 'Limp Bizkit', thinking it might be some band I never heard of, playing some form of music. Wrong- they don't play music. What about the story? other than the mention of a skunk, was there a story?
Good story. Happy ending for both families. Funny revenge on the seducer. Fitting.
With both marriages what about a post nup with a harsh penalty for cheating ? They went to the attorney for divorce papers why not protect them financially for it to happen again. Why pay alimony or give up the house or not have full custody.?
If every cheater male or female would have a penalty clause automatically built in the law , how much cheating would really occur? I bet it would cut down cheating by 75% if harsh enough. But we don’t have it but there is the post nup and why any reconciliation story doesn’t include one always confuses me.
Fun and good, a great combination!
A little quick on the reconcile, "I'll do anything" found a stumbling block pretty quickly, although the slut did give up her affair partner. I don't know what the characters think of counseling, but it might be helpful.
Anyway, kids involved, there should always be the possibility of leeway, even if it is only until they can choose the custodial parent or are 18.
Too funny ! Now when I see skittles, I will think of skunks, instead of Beast Mode
A sequel with no link to the original. I see no reason to go digging for it. Some author produce a short summary of the original. This is one of the rare instances wherein I rate a story without reading it first.
Two stars.
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JPB NOT BOB
Awesome ending to Brothers, being an old country boy, it hits home. Now I’ll be reading everything you have written, really like the writing style you used on this one.
Humorous, jaunty little tale. There’s a lot of work being done by implication as well. What happened with Butch’s wife or her partner? I think it was clever use of the blank for the reader to fill in. Above average and works well to preserve the tone, length, and characters of the prior story.
1-star. A bit of childish revenge. The best revenge is to not waste time on childish pranks on the affair partner and move forward by divorcing your cheating wife and try again. There are no promises in life, but living with a cheater is known liability.
OK...
You got a follow and 5 stars for this one...
...once I stopped laughing !
Well played, Sir !