Coming to Grips Ch. 03

Since they checked luggage, it took them a while to get out of the airport. It was frustrating for Suzanne who usually just took a carry-on bag. When the final bag came down the conveyor belt with the last batch of luggage, she breathed a sigh of relief. The idea of having to file a bunch of paperwork for lost baggage was not a happy one. She put the last piece onto the cart and they headed to the rental car shuttle. From there on, things went relatively quickly.

"Are you sure you want to go straight to the office," Colby asked Suzanne. "It's been a long day already and except for the plane, you didn't get a lot of rest."

"You can just drop me off, if you want, but I've got stuff I need to do. It's still early afternoon," Suzanne said. "I won't think any less of you."

"If you're working, I'm working," Colby told her. "But we are stopping to get something to eat. You need more than four grapes and two slices of apple."

Even though she still didn't feel much like eating, Suzanne didn't argue. They stopped at a sandwich shop and quickly ate. It felt like a lump in her stomach but at least Suzanne didn't think she would get sick. She worked on a list of things to be done as Colby drove them to the office. The closer that they got, the more the regular Suzanne reappeared. The haggard look diminished and the uncertainty she had shown earlier disappeared, replaced by confidence. It may have been a veneer, but even Colby found it hard to see through it.

The rest of the day was busy. After giving a report to Jim, Suzanne started work on crunching the numbers they gathered. For a while, Colby helped organize it but at some point her help wasn't needed. She went back to her desk and began to catch up with all of her own work.

The afternoon flew by. Before she knew it, Colby realized it was almost 6:00 PM. Suzanne was still working in her office with no signs of being done. The day was already long when they got to the office. After almost five more hours of work, it was getting to her. Standing up, she stretched and felt all the knots in her back. It would be nice to sleep in her own bed.

Walking over to Suzanne's office, Colby could see that she was still deep into work. She stood there for a minute or two before she knocked on the door. Suzanne looked up with a dazed look on her face. "I think it's time for us to go home," Colby said with a smile. "I doubt you are really getting any more actual work done." From the sheepish look Suzanne gave her, she knew she scored a point.

"I suppose you're right. Give me five minutes to save everything and shut down, and we can go," Suzanne said. "Sorry to keep you so late. You should have just let me take a taxi home and you could have left a long time ago."

"If you're working, I'm working," Colby told her again. "I'm fine, really, or at least I was. I'm bushed now!"

Suzanne thought about it and then sighed. "Actually, me too. I should have knocked off at least half an hour ago." She hit shut down on her laptop. "Almost done. I just need to pack some things up for the weekend. I want to have this all done by Monday."

As Colby watched Suzanne get ready to leave, she thought about the contrast between her now and earlier today. If there was work to be done, she seemed to be able to keep the demons at bay. The sad and lost woman was gone, replaced by the efficient professional persona that most knew her as. Maybe keeping busy this weekend with work was the best thing. Her gut instinct was to tell Suzanne to get some rest after a hard week, but was that really the right suggestion? Colby wasn't sure.

"Hey, would it help if I came over and helped with any of it?" Colby asked. Working this weekend was the last thing Colby really wanted to do, but it would let her keep an eye on Suzanne.

Nothing about her real motivation was obvious to Suzanne. Colby just looked like her normal helpful self. Suzanne nodded. "It would actually. You could help organize the comments by type to make it easier to summarize them. And when I'm done, you can proof read the report. Another set of eyes will be better. I may be wiped out by the time I finish."

Looking at Colby again, Suzanne noticed that she too looked tired. Her beautiful blue eyes were marred by being bloodshot and there were faint rings under her eyes. Even the way she was leaning against the doorjamb conveyed a sense of weariness.

"You don't have to. I can get it done. Colby, you did such a great job. I'm really proud of you. So is Jim! I can finish it. You should take it easy and get some rest," she told the little brunette.

"I could say the same thing about you," Colby replied. She had that determined look on her face that Suzanne already recognized. "I know that you aren't going to rest until this gets done, so I'm helping." She emphasized it with a little stamp of her foot. It was kind of cute and Suzanne couldn't help chuckling.

"Okay, I was just suggesting. I'm happy for the help," Suzanne told her with a genuine smile. It would be nice to get some assistance, but there was another reason for the smile. After a week together, she was used to being with Colby. She felt a comfort with her that she had not found with many other people. Even with Chloe, the sexual side to their relationship was so powerful that it often overwhelmed everything else. Suzanne acknowledged the attraction; Colby was too gorgeous for Suzanne to lie to herself about that. Yet, it was the growing friendship that mattered. She would have missed that.

Finally, Suzanne had everything she needed. Colby went back to her desk to pick up her things and they walked out to her car. Along the way, they settled on Colby coming over at ten. It was early enough to get a lot of work done, but they could both sleep in a bit. While Suzanne was usually an earlier riser, she had a suspicion that she would sleep until her alarm went off tomorrow.

It wasn't quite late enough for rush hour traffic to be gone, but it wasn't too bad. Unlike them, a fair number of people had gotten an early start on the weekend. Colby lucked out and found someone pulling out in front of Suzanne's apartment as she drove up. She quickly grabbed the spot. Between Suzanne's luggage and all the materials she brought home, Colby wanted to help her take it upstairs.

As they road up the elevator, Colby realized that the effects of a long day were starting to catch up with her. She tried to ignore the beginnings of a headache. Resting her forehead against the cool metal of the elevator wall helped a little.

Suzanne noticed immediately. "Are you okay, Colby?" she asked. Her hands were full or she would have reached out to touch Colby's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm just tired. I've got a little headache. I'll take something when I get home." Her voice betrayed her weariness. Suzanne couldn't remember her sounding so tired.

"Don't be silly. I've got ibuprofen. Taking some now makes a lot more sense than waiting," Suzanne told her as the door opens.

"Okay. Thanks," Colby said.

"Of course. I feel responsible. I should have sent you home earlier," Suzanne said, walking out of the elevator and heading to her apartment. As soon as she put her key in the lock, she heard Tuptim starting to meow. She smiled. Tuptim's greetings were the best thing about coming home. Opening the door, she felt her cat run out and begin weaving in and around her legs.

"Careful, you silly thing. You'll trip me!" Suzanne hurriedly put her things down and picked up her cat. Tuptim was purring loudly and rubbing her head against Suzanne's cheek. "Yes, I missed you too, Babycat," she told her. The unconditional love felt good. Her fingers reached into the scruff of Tuptim's neck and gently scratched her there. It didn't seem possible but her purr got louder.

Looking over at her friend, Suzanne noticed a trace of the pain from Colby's headache on her face. "Oh Colby, sorry. Let me get you the ibuprofen."

Despite the slowly growing ache in her head, Colby couldn't help smiling at Suzanne holding her cat. It was obvious that she loved the cat as much as Tuptim loved her. "It's okay. I can get it. Tuptim needs you now. Is it in your medicine cabinet?" she said, looking towards where she guessed the bedroom was.

"Yeah. Sorry, she is always needy when I've been away," Suzanne said.

Colby stepped close to Suzanne and ran her hand down Tuptim's back. "I can see that. It's nice to have your mom home, isn't it?" Her smile got bigger as Tuptim closed her eyes in apparent bliss from the dual attention. Chuckling, Colby went through the bedroom and into the adjoining bathroom.

Opening up the medicine cabinet, Colby found the ibuprofen without any difficulty. She got out two and popped them in her mouth. She dipped her hand under the faucet and caught a little water in her palm. Swallowing pills was always easy for her and that was all the water she needed. As she did it, something in the cabinet caught her eye. It was the two bottles of painkiller. They looked odd sitting there together like that.

Glancing over her shoulder, Colby suppressed the awareness that she was snooping. Her concern about her friend overrode that. Picking them up, she looked at them. They were both for oxycodone and had close to the same dates. As she looked at them, Colby saw that the prescription number was the same. Looking back in the cabinet, Colby noticed that even though there were a couple of new prescriptions for Suzanne's stomach in there, these two were in the front.

Colby felt her stomach clench. All of the vague worries solidified. Maybe someone who had not spent the time with Suzanne would not have put them all together, but Colby was certain. "God, it is worse than I thought" she realized. It wasn't just the self-neglect. At least to some level, Suzanne was considering going beyond that. It scared Colby as much as anything she could remember. She took a deep shaking breath. The next one was a little less shaky. The one after that was almost normal, but not quite. It didn't get any better than that either.

Still holding the vials in one hand, Colby closed the medicine cabinet. She looked at herself in the mirror for a moment. Slowly she got a determined look on her face. Taking the vials with her, Colby went back out to where Suzanne was still cuddling her cat.

"Suzanne, we need to talk. I'm worried about you, Hun," Colby said softly. She showed Suzanne the vials she was holding. She was not sure what reaction she would get. Certainly, Suzanne might have gotten angry over the invasion of her privacy. Instead, there was a flash of guilt on her face and she sank down onto the sofa. She drew her feet up onto the sofa, making herself into a small ball.

Colby sat down next to her. The little cat continued to stay with Suzanne, even though she let go of Tuptim. Colby reached out and put her arms around her friend to give her a long hug. "Please tell me the truth, sweetie," she told Suzanne. "Don't lock me out. You have to let someone inside."

She didn't answer right away. Finally, she started to talk. "I've never done anything. I don't think I will," Suzanne said as her fingers absently scratched Tuptim's head. She looked at Colby. "It hurts though. I hurt. And it never goes away." She stopped speaking and just looked at Colby. The misery in her eyes was plain to see.

"But you think about it, about taking all of these," Colby stated, putting it out there for Suzanne to either confirm or deny. Once again, tears leaked from Suzanne's eyes. This time Colby couldn't help doing the same. After a few moments, Suzanne nodded. "Oh, sweetie," Colby sighed as she tightened her grip around her troubled friend.

"Meanwhile, you work too many hours and you don't eat enough," Colby added. When Suzanne tried to protest, Colby grabbed Suzanne's blouse and untucked it. She pulled it up and then ran her fingers over Suzanne's ribs. She could feel each one. Another time it might have felt erotic. This time, it made her cry a little harder.

"Suzanne, this isn't healthy. It's getting worse. I realized it on the trip. You've lost weight in the short time I've known you." Her fingers stayed there, touching Suzanne. She felt Suzanne laying her head down on her shoulder, her body gently shaking from the crying. For a long while, they just held each other. Finally the tears mostly stopped.

"I know. I know. I'll do better, Colby. I promise," Suzanne said, still with her cheek laying down in Colby's shoulder. She didn't want to look her in the eyes, but Colby was not going to let her off that easy. Putting both hands on Suzanne's shoulders, she forced Suzanne to turn and look at her.

"That's not good enough for me. Here is what is going to happen, Suzanne. By Monday, I will have a list of therapists for you. You can pick the one you want, but then I will make the appointment for you. And I'm taking these with me. If you need a pain pill, you just let me know and I will bring you one. Anytime, night or day, I will bring one over," Colby told her. Pulling her close again for another hug, she told Suzanne. "I'll take you to your appointments if you want me to, but I won't accept a no."

Sniffing to clear her nose, Suzanne hugged Colby hard. "Okay. I'll go." She wanted to say more, but keeping her feelings hidden was still too strong of a habit.

"Now, I'm going to make us something to eat. You just relax and give Tuptim the love that she clearly wants," Colby said with a smile. Getting up, she went into the kitchen and looked through Suzanne's pantry. It was pretty bare but there was pasta and spaghetti sauce. It would do for a start. She found some salad mix in the refrigerator that could be picked through to find enough for both of them.

As she worked on dinner, she watched Suzanne. She was telling Tuptim all about the trip. Colby thought the main attraction was probably the constant petting, but Tuptim gave every impression of being enthralled by the story. There was a pang in her heart for Suzanne. Despite knowing her issues and seeing the gauntness in her face, Colby couldn't help her feelings. Right now, however, Suzanne needed a friend more than anything. Not letting their relationship go beyond friendship was a sacrifice Colby was willing to make.

"At least we still get time together," Colby thought as she turned back to finishing dinner. It was enough for now.