All Comments on 'Crystal's Trip to the Gym'

not very well written. Very boring.

Not bad but could have been better if the scene in the bedroom between them had been a bit more drawn out. lasting longer and drawing the reader into it more.

Sorry, but this was a waste of time. Not at all interesting.

i think it was pretty good

When an erotic story resonates with me, it is always because I care about the people involved. I cannot care about somebody unless the author tells me what the person is like.

Note: what a person wears, what sort of job the person has, even what the person looks like are all relatively superficial things,surely?

A description of a sexual event is unexciting for me if it is only a description of what happened. The thoughts and the feelings of those concerned are what makes a story come alive, not statistics about the size of genitalia, etc.!

There wasnt much to this, it needs a lot more detail

I give you props on good writing but without some back story or build-up it's just not quite as good.

It was good, maybe make the sex scene longer or describe it more. It needs to be more of a 'force' then her enjoying it. Good luck!