by Jazbo68
Not a bad little story. But shy is it, so many stories the Woman drops to her knees and goes for a B.J. before anything else?
m-that was so hot. Would definitely like to hear more about you and your so hot daughter.
This was a nice little story. Don't listen to the previous comment. Most stories follow this pattern wether its the woman that starts it by giving oral or the man does it. You did a good job telling the story and that's all that matters.
The basic storyline is a familiar one- I've seen it a hundred times. And, frankly, that's perfectly fine. I feel, however, that you rushed through it a bit quickly. There was so much more that you could've done with the story. Don't be afraid or intimidated by the prospect of writing more. Scenes filled with conflict and confusion, scenarios where they play a sort of cat-and-mouse game of teasing without actually being honest about their desires, conversations with friends or each other alluding to the very idea of being together... those are just some of the ways in which this story could have been made richer and more enjoyable. Take your time and tell the story that you WANT to tell, not just an anecdote, If you do, you shortchange not only yourself but your audience, too, misses out.
How about "It's called letting others have their own opinions"? There is a big difference between saying "I disagree with such and such" and "Don't listen to the previous comment."
It would be awesome if her dad got her pregnant and they became a couple.