All Comments on 'Dragon Clans Bk. 01 Pt. 01'
by Vjax
- 14 Comments
To say that the first part of this story has moved me would be a complete understatement. What an amazing and beautiful story. I already feel like I know the characters and your writing is just incredible. I will definitely, without a doubt be looking out for the next part. Thanks so much for sharing this....
But a very good start, nonetheless. All it really needs is editing, and a bunch of it, mostly in the area of sentence structure and paragraph layout. Another thing is towards the end: going from taking Anna's virginity, if that's what was implied, to the grave of some woman named Sasha. Where the hell did Sasha come from? Hopefully, you answer that question in later chapters which I shall be reading shortly, so if you did indeed say where Sasha came from in the later chapters...I think you get the idea
Very good start. Leaves me with no choice but to move on to the next chapter :)
excellent... didnt expect dis kinda language and plot in literotica... but superb nonetheless
Looks good even though I personally think that totally ruining someone life over something like that would be overkill (and I hate cheaters).
Wow again very intriguing and intense start Onto the next chapter....
I hate repeating what someone else has already said but, Wow. I'm highly impressed. I can't wait to get to the next chapter.
Great story, flow and character build. What killed me was u made the main char an asshole. He framed an innocent person who did nothing but have a good time. It's not Derek's fault Anna cheated.
the story comes in 2 parts,the first one is complete but needs the 2nd part to be a totally completed story,,,which is where the problem is,,,7 parts into the 2nd edition,there is NO ending...spent 2 days reading this and left hanging,no ending,,posted in 2008,so doubtful and ending will happen,,,just to let readers know,,,its an unfinished story,,,,,so read at ur own risk,cause without the ending,the rest is a waste of time...It looks like 2 or 3 chapters would have finished it,,,what a major letdown.......
countrygirlfla, there is a 2nd part. It was just labelled different than the 1st part. Try Dragon Clans Pt. 2...it shld be right at the end of the listed series. Hope that helps
It's a shame you spent 95% of the story on irrelevant characters and just a few lines about what is actually going on. Disappointing.
was looking forward to reading this story series
as it has had good scores & fairly decent comments.
........
but really ???? a high school kid knows where to score 100 / 125 grams of cocaine ??
and better yet has the funds to pay for it ,
and the best part ... to just throw it away...
...
fcking dumb plot ...
spoils some fairly decent writing