All Comments on 'Fucking Monsters Pt. 01'
by ChloeHay
- 5 Comments
Thank you for reading my story, I know there are areas of improvement for that one and I hoped to get more detailed in the parts to come.
There is a portion of this story that touches on Nonconsent- Although I will be clearing this up in later parts I just want to make a note about it here.
Chloe Hay
Of this line "...and a tongue that touched its chin." Tentacles, have you been watching some of those naughty JAV's? Only the Japanese could have invented a whole genre of porn molesting women with tentacles.
"*I must be under some kind of sperm spell*" Oh, yeah, sounds like my ex, problem being it wasn't just mind. I wondering what the little offspring is going to look like.
Chloe, you were a bit hard on yourself the other day, this wasn't bad at all. A little non-consent, non-human, sci-fi, preggo?, anal, oral, lots and lots of jizz, made air-tight and a tough broad - you covered a lot of bases in one page! Of course you missed a three way with Jennifer, wonder if it swings both ways as there is still Riley out there.
This reminded me a bit of the original uncut ,1933 version of King Kong where Kong has taken Fay Wray up on his mountain, peels some of her clothes off, caresses her and smells his finger. This scene and a couple of other violent ones were cut in the 1938 re-release after censorship came to Hollyweird. Something similar happened to Jessica Lange in that version.
Nothing at wrong with stories from a woman's point of view, many times they are much more eloquently written. Asimov couldn't write porn, he wrote an awful lot of stories just to end with a bad pun and wrote tons of naughty limericks but no porn. I never read any sci-fi porn by the classic authors. I would like it a lot if they'd ever release the X-rated version of Flesh Gordon instead of just the R version that they did put out, I've never even been able to find any of the deleted hardcore scenes on the net.
Something I liked about this story other than being written by a new Author was the very nice lack of obvious typo's. I did see a couple that could have been errors but I just took them as the way the character's/Author's manners of speech. Don't worry, Chloe, you are doing just fine.
Signed: BTW
Thanks for reading the story,
I really didn't know that about King Kong, that's an interesting piece of knowledge to have.
I really do try to avoid type O's but they do seem to blend in with everything...from person A to person B ( I will look for an editor after maybe three months on this platform, I want to see if I could last that long at least).
I have actually been thinking about this story a lot, a family member of mine read it and said it was weird and disjointed, but there's a good explanation for what's happening that it even blows my mind and I can't wait to put it to screen.
C.H