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Grief

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In the chaos of what used to be the pristine den, Kobo, their Golden Retriever unwittingly came into range of Charlie, their Siamese cat perched on the arm of their sofa. With a lightning strike of his paw, Charlie raked the sensitive nose of Kobo and jumped down to the floor through the discarded wrapping paper and boxes. Kobo barked and chased after the wily cat and the twins were trailing behind adding noise to the cacophony of sounds emanating throughout the house.

With ease, Charlie jumped upon the kitchen counter and achieved sanctuary from the furious Kobo who continued her barking as the unperturbed cat began bathing himself in appreciation of the Christmas gift of the injured dog.

"Okay kids, its time to leave. Go get dressed." Marilyn announced.

Ray drove his family in the cold grey morning to a familiar rendezvous. During the drive, he and Marilyn began to get lost in their train of thoughts. The melancholy aspect of the journey was lost upon the twins as they engaged into their old aged debate.

"You have to mind me because I'm older than you." Karla declared to her twin brother who had the misfortune of being born thirty minutes too late. Using the only logic available to the seven year-old boy, Paul declared, "Nuh huhn!" The debate drifted along those lines until the twins turned to the final arbitrator and asked their mom to decide who was right.

Using the wisdom of Solomon, Marilyn ruled they were both right and the main thing was they had to love each other. With that settled, the children drifted into another conversation.

Again Ray thought as he drove, nine years, so much had transpired. Marilyn had started her boutique graphic art business and from the start she was able to cherrypick the assignments that interested and motivated her. Ray had continued to dominate the law firm and soon forced the partnership to accept promotions and salaries based on merit. It made for a happier office.

Well, except for Karen. After Ray informed her, he was staying with Marilyn, Karen tendered her resignation. Ray tried to get her to agree to a transfer, but Karen was adamant. Two years after she left, a wedding announcement came to the office. Karen had found her a doctor to marry. Ray went online to their registry and purchased the most expensive item listed and wrote a warm note to go with it. Ray didn't attend the service.

Things went a little tougher with John.

One night, out of the blue, Marilyn received a text from John declaring his love and wanting Marilyn to meet him that evening at the Hilton where John had rented a room. Ray met the inebriated John at the bar and had a quiet conversation why Marilyn was not going to show up. As Ray left, the heartbroken man began crying at the bar as he finally realized Marilyn would never be his. Marilyn changed her cell number to assure herself there would be no repeats of that situation. Word eventually arrived back to Marilyn that John transferred to the London office of the firm.

Karla and Paul were a happy accident. At first when they discovered the pregnancy, fear flashed into both of them. But they sat down and talked like the best friends they were for so many years and they both realized they wanted another chance. So then came the sonogram and the discovery of twins and they took it as an omen from Rachel.

The delivery went smooth and the parenting came back to them as they adjusted their lives and tended to their children...and kept their fingers crossed.

Each Christmas became a ritual and now the twins were aware of the proceedings. They would surprise Marilyn and Ray with questions about Rachel. The answers would often bring up smiles and tears at the same time for the parents.

With the passage of time, it got easier to think of Rachel even though there would always be that hurt, that loss, that what might have been. Now they once again would focus it to the core as they arrived in the cemetery.

They wandered past the markers until they arrived at Rachel's grave. Marilyn sunk to her knees and silently wept. Ray joined her and bowed his head. Karla and Paul obediently followed suit. They remained quiet in the chill of the morning as their parents prayed to their lost child.

Then Marilyn collected herself. "Okay Karla, Paul, hold on to your balloon until we all release them at the same time," she reminded them.

Each hot air balloon had a small note attached. There was a balloon from each family member.

Karla's note wished that her big sister was there so they could teach her brother how to act. Paul's note wished that his big sister was there to keep Karla from bossing him around.

Marilyn and Ray's notes were more complex. Before attaching the notes to the envelopes, Marilyn and Ray would share their thoughts. There would be no more secrets to come between them.

Ray had written: "Dear Rachel, another year has passed and we are here on your 18th birthday. Today, all I can think about is you and how brave you were while you were with us. I miss you so much and I think of you every day. I wish I could have done more for you. I wish I could have seen you grow up to be the beautiful woman you were meant to be. But, God had other plans for you, Angel. I think back at your birthday wish for having a White Christmas and I wonder why I didn't pack us up to Canada for one year or just rent a snow machine so your wish could come true. But, I tried to do my best and be the best daddy to you. One day, we will be reunited and I'll get to see you in heaven. I love you, Daddy"

Marilyn's note went: "My sweet baby, how I miss you! I think about you every day and your daddy does as well. I try to visualize you as an adult. I regret that you missed out on so many things. Things I should have been allowed to share with you like every mother has with her daughter. Daddy calls you his Angel, but the truth is that you were an angel to us both. You saved us both from making a terrible mistake. So I think of you as my sweet angel. I know you remember hearing Daddy play that Willie Nelson song about an angel that flew too close to the ground. That is how I think of you. My guardian angel that helped me in my darkest moment and then God took her back to Heaven. I love you baby, Mommy"

The foursome stood up at the grave and at the signal released the hot air balloons that rapidly drifted upward. The family watched until the balloons vanished quickly out of sight in the dark foreboding clouds. With that the spell was broken and the kids turned to run back to the car.

Ray continued to look upward a moment longer. He knew that the balloons would soon lose pressure and drift back down to earth, but did it really hurt to think that the balloons made their way to Heaven to be read by Rachel.

He felt his soulmate slip her hand into his and looked into Marilyn's face and knew she was thinking the same thing as they began to walk back to the car and it happened.

Snowflakes began to fall.

Large flurries of snowflakes drifting down that would soon cover the ground. Cover the ground, and the foliage, and the countryside with its purity. Turning the world into a monochromatic world of whiteness. Finally, Rachel's wish had come true, a White Christmas. The children shouted and danced around the car trying to catch flakes on their tongues.

Marilyn and Ray looked at one another as drifting flakes kissed their faces and they both knew as tears came to them that once again their Angel was flying close to the ground.

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AnonymousAnonymous1 day ago

At each moment of decision, the wife pulled away first, and put another man in front of her husband. Ray wouldn’t ever have even noticed Karen if Marilyn hadn’t already given her heart to John.

/

The MC should have dumped the traitor bitch wife, and moved on with anyone better!

/

ZK

EastCoaster1EastCoaster12 days ago

I haven't read any of the 781 comments already posted on this magnificent story before posting mine... and It's because I don't give a damn what anyone else may have said or thought about it. Maybe I'll read them later, maybe not.

.

All I know is that you must have felt deeply the loss of a very loved member of your family which touched a very raw part of my soul as you described the pain of that loss, because you explained it so well.

.

I hurt for your loss as I hurt for my own...

.

🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟

AnonymousAnonymous13 days ago

Very nice story interesting several dips turns and self evaluations you moved along at a good pace. **** I enjoy reading your work THANK YOU for sharing it with all that cannot.

lissa9876lissa987626 days ago

Excellent, loved the ending. I was worried the ending would be a divorce.

ncdeepdiverncdeepdiver26 days ago

I have read this multiple times. It still puts a lump in my throat!!

RustyReaderRustyReaderabout 1 month ago

Powerful heartfelt. Thank you dfor this story, Everyone that reads this piece, have or will feel some parts of this story in themselves. Well-done.

sMutPuPPy88sMutPuPPy88about 1 month ago

Thank you so much for this…

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

it may not be the best ITS just better than the rest!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

This story is very powerful and examines the emotions of a couple in a desperate situation with a deathly sick child. The emotional strain and the tug of war between competing needs of each person is described very well.

This story is one of the best & intense I've read on Literotica.

AceAureliaAceAurelia2 months ago

One of the most bed story’s on this site. RIP

DukeofPaducahDukeofPaducah2 months ago

I have yet to find another story here that approaches the emotional intensity of this one.

Tears blurred my eyes several times as I read and I felt real dread as the toxic downward spiral of this relationship gained momentum. The joys and sorrows of having and losing a child were described so vividly. The thoughts, emotions and actions of these characters all rang true.

The wedge of Rachel’s dying that drove Ray and Marilyn apart and her passing being the catalyst that reconciled was exquisitely ironic.

This tale is one of my favorites. If I had but one word to describe, it would be Magnifico.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

Wow.gotta try to type through the tears.Thid is THE best story I've ever read on here or any where.true love always wins.The loose of a loved one you never get over.just learn to deal with the heart ache.great story.

jkthekatjkthekat2 months ago

Whew! A tearjerker, Thanks

SackettheartSackettheart2 months ago

Are you kidding me! A guy like me shouldn't be reduced to a tear wiping wuss. What a freaking great story so much of everything. Thank you for not having them physically cheat on one another and allow them to rebuild their marriage. If they had cheated and broke up and they still found that picture their daughter drew I would have lost it and been kicked out of my own house. 5 stars

DazzyDDazzyD3 months ago

One of the best if not the best story on Lit. You Sir are a bard of the highest quality. I tip my hat to you. I copied this from an anonymous below! . Dazzy D it is a perfect example of great writing an emotion!.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

One of the best if not the best story on Lit. You Sir are a bard of the highest quality. I tip my hat to you.

JunglediffdaddyJunglediffdaddy3 months ago

It’s amazing that a picture drawing from a child can communicate so much.. you wonder if Rachael knew that her parents were struggling or not …but I think at the very least we know Rachel knew she wasn’t going to be there forever and she wanted her mommy and daddy to have that picture as a wish and hope for them when she was gone.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

This is just brilliant. It's emotional and heartbreaking and wonderful all at the same time. It is one of the very best on this site. Really should be rewritten by the author as a book and then get filmed. It's that good. BardnotBard

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

This is legitimately a piece of art. It’s insane that a story this good is offered for free.

.

‘Grief’ is only rivaled in pure raw emotion by ‘Then Surely We’ and ‘Angels of Bataan.’ I don’t know where Oshaw went, but you’re sorely missed. Goddamned allergy season may have coincidentally struck when the picture was found.

SaxdpageSaxdpage3 months ago

Nen gets Stronger after death

GrassIsGreenerGrassIsGreener3 months ago

At least 3rd time reading this story, and my 3rd comment. This is my favorite story from one of my favorite authors. If other readers are looking for similar themes I suggest "The Promise" by DreamCloud and my all-time favorite "A little bit of Death" by Slirpuff

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Finally, an RAAC story I can get behind. I don't understand the idiocy of the majority of the RAAC stories on this site. This story will forever by a diamond in the rough of Literotica.

1_Inquiring_mind1_Inquiring_mind3 months ago

This is how you write a story. I felt all the emotions and yes cried at the loss. So glad they didn’t cross the line and reconciled. ***** out of 10 stars

OldmantruckerOldmantrucker3 months ago

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍💯💯💯💯💯💯♥️✝️🙏🤷😁🍕🍕🍕🍺🍺🍺🍕

Dennis26Dennis264 months ago

This story deserves way more than 5 stars ! Truly the best I have read here.

SaltySurpriseSaltySurprise4 months ago

If I could give 10 stars I would thank you

Darren

KronkBonkKronkBonk4 months ago

This story made my eyeballs a little sweaty. Well done.

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

Damnonx. Was t asanf spurs, now I wanted this Tory fo.e d. Very glad it ended how it.did. VERY GLAD.

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

Damn! What a story. Tears of sorrow and joy in my eyes as I type this. Thank you! I might re read this just so I can add an extra 5 star vote to the tally.

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

What a beautiful moving story I bet many readers had a tear in their eyes after reading it. There are many families going through this same trauma unfortunatley and i guess this story would maybe help them in their grief.

I am fortunate to have not gone through losing a child to a disease like cancer but have lost a mother and brother to it. I cannot describe the feelings as you watch them slowly die and you can do nothing to stop it but try to help them cope until the end. 5+

RedRachaelRedRachael5 months ago

Thank you for this story. My heart is beautifully broken as I read it. It’s everything a story should be.

Miguel_TugaMiguel_Tuga5 months ago

Sem dúvida uma história maravilhosa de drama e superação. 5 estrelas ou 1000 lágrimas?

AnonymousAnonymous5 months ago

Its been over a year since my last read; absolutely the most powerful, moving tale written on Lit. Thank you oshaw!

somewhere east of Omaha

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

Stunning.

Grief beyond belief.

You sure hit some triggers.

XluckyleeXluckylee6 months ago

5 stars x 100 from Xluckylee

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

Wonderful.. just wonderful

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

some time five stars is not enough

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

Nothing I can express that has not already been stated. Fiction at its very best...5+ stars...JZK

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

I am truly saddened. Not so much by the amazing sad story; more by the sad fact the writer no longer contributes to this site.

Heavy sigh.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

esta historia me partió el alma... no me imagino como padre, que esto le suceda a mi hija

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

What a story! hmmm

JimDiamondJimDiamond7 months ago

Now that was a true tear-jerker, but great. Thanks for a Christmas Story!

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

A child with cancer. Damn you, playing with my heartstrings. And then tragically dying. Goddamn it that's so cruel. No child should have to suffer that and no parent should have to watch their child suffer especially like that.

When they got home and Marilyn went upstairs, then broke down after seeing the crayon drawing in the book, with the stick figure drawings... OK I broke down into tears as well. Fuck that's some powerful stuff. The imagery and the meaning of it. It all hit me at once. Why did Rachel have to die damn it!?

I'm glad they made it through their grief in the end, realized their mistakes, and are now stronger than ever together. It's a tragedy they lost their little angel, but at least they didn't lose everything. They even had a little family and even got a white Christmas. A bittersweet ending, though that's better than most in this category. This story is certainly a powerful one and I'm sure it will be on my mind for some time.

dwightersdwighters7 months ago

I would have to agree, this may be the best story on this site It is the best one I have read here. It really got me.

danoctoberdanoctober7 months ago

Brilliant piece of writing. 5 stars. 👏

MiddleTMiddleT7 months ago

I read this story several years ago. I was a wreck afterwards. I’ve tried to reread it several since but have been unable to finish it. Today I was finally able to read it again completely and I’m exhausted. I’m going to go to my daughter’s house now and give her the biggest hug possible. This is the very best story on Literotica. No holds barred.

AnonymousAnonymous8 months ago

Simply fantastic

AnonymousAnonymous8 months ago

One of the best reads on this sight. Good work buddy.

Torsini71Torsini718 months ago

This story, a work of art! 5 stars

AnonymousAnonymous8 months ago

I read this when it first was posted and just found it again. Made my cry, maybe even harder the second time. Thank you for writing it and sharing.

AnonymousAnonymous8 months ago

The part where they found the crayon drawing brought literal tears to my eyes.

Well done.

BAnde53507BAnde535078 months ago

Brilliant! And quite possibly the saddest story I've read on this site. But Rachel's wisdom saved them all. Thank you.

JuanTwoNoJuanTwoNo9 months ago

Heart rending. And beautiful.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

Top-of-the line story about the human condition and struggles.... kudos!

IrishLaddy59IrishLaddy599 months ago

What a magnificently written story. You pulled my heartstrings. I am in your debt for having read this wonderful work.

From my heart I thank you.

All the very best,

Dave

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

Should be 5star times 5star for as many times as anyone can count.

Heart searingly painful and thank God they finally broke out of their personal armour and found each other again.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

Man this hit me like a sledge hammer. My aunt and uncle lived this story. My cousin was 5 at the time. Dude this story f'd me up. This story has made me remember the pain I thought was long buried. Outstanding work.

murfncalmurfncal9 months ago

i find this story to be so touching and romantic in its own way. I have shed many tears reading this and do not mind doing so. for me it gives me great peace of mind knowing that I held my mom and dads hands as the took their last breath on this earth and i hope that i do run into them in the afterlife.

P_DoggP_Dogg9 months ago

Second time reading this and it still brings tears. Fantastic story.

AnonymousAnonymous10 months ago

WOW JUST FANTASTIC

GuyfromShadesGuyfromShades10 months ago

Great story, could not hold the tears Bach at the end. Thanks for your writing.

AnonymousAnonymous10 months ago

Very emotional ! Well written

AnonymousAnonymous10 months ago

A story with no nice people. All pretty despicable aside from the dying child. Normally you'd hate on the APs but tbf they're just victims of the self centred mindlessness of the main couple.

AnonymousAnonymous10 months ago

Still the best story on this site.

In my humble and anonymous opinion, of course.

AnonymousAnonymous11 months ago

Incredible absolutely brilliant story. Heart-rending and heart warming at the same time. Laying here in bed with tears in my eyes (yes real men do cry) and feeling emotionally wrung out. Writing of the highest order. Just stunningly brilliant. You batted this one right out if the park and produced one of the very best on here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. BardnotBard

Viper2011Viper201111 months ago

Out fucking standing! I cried like a baby.

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