- Loving Wives
- I Want To Live
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Click hereThere was no pain—not at first.
I remember the piercing white light and then the deafening sounds of metal and glass disintegrating. I felt the noise until a scream shattered my eardrums—my scream.
Voices, then shards of light broke the darkness.
The pain. It permeated every cell of my body.
*****
That was then. Now nothing's the same. Life is different—flat—without depth. That's what the world looks like through only one eye.
The pain is still there, but, thank God, not like before. Push a button, seconds later, wonderful bliss. But it doesn't last long. Not nearly long enough.
They only allow me one push an hour. So I wait, watching the numbers on the bedside clock. I count down the minutes, then seconds, praying not to feel. The number changes, I push the button, bliss returns. I close my eyes.
Why won't people leave me alone? If I could, I'd punch out my cheery nurse. Her sweet, high-pitched voice, cuts through me like a knife. I wish she'd shut up, do what she has to do, and leave. But she doesn't.
"How is my favorite patient today?" she says, in her singsong voice.
Oh, great, she's back. She can't be that stupid. How do you think I am? I'd love to say, but I can't. Wires are holding my jaw together. Unable to answer, I give her the evil eye. That's all I can do.
She changes this, adjusts that, and finally takes away my body waste. "If you need anything, just buzz me," she sings. With a final smile, she's gone. Her visit has distracted me. I've lost count. Frantically, I push the button—nothing. Agitated, I look at the clock and start the countdown all over again.
The constant noise of the machines in my room is driving me mad. Without my bliss, I feel the tubes in every orifice of my body, giving or taking away. I want to scream STOP! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! And rip them out. But I can't. My arms are broken and useless.
I think about my wife's little red Miata—her baby. She didn't like sharing it with me. It's gone now—totaled. I hope she's not too mad. It wasn't my fault.
Finally, it's time. I push the button and bliss returns.
I'm in a world of my own, but hear "Miss Happy Nurse" humming as she connects my breakfast of bacon and eggs—not! Unfortunately for me, she's on my right side. Among other things, I can't seem to hear out of my left ear. I found that out when Sue first visited. I saw the tears, watched her lips move, but heard nothing.
I want to die.
I may be drugged and blissfully floating, but I hear them talk about my prognosis. The doctor says I'm lucky. What? Is he nuts? There isn't a spot on my body that wasn't disfigured by the accident.
"We almost lost him a couple of times, but he's a fighter."
Bullshit! Fighting? I didn't have a clue what was happening to me. If I had, and knew what I know now, I would have said, "Let the poor son-of-a-bitch die with at least a shred of dignity. Death would be far better than the life he has to look forward to."
My face is totally messed up. My right arm, even after it heals will be next to useless. My left foot had to be amputated. The list goes on and on. He tells my wife there was some brain swelling. They'll know more in a week or two.
Great. Brain damage. What's next? Kidney failure?
The only thing they know for sure is that I'm going to need additional surgeries to repair what's left of me.
I'm angry all the time. I hope the person in that white SUV died a horrible death. They probably walked away without a scratch. I wasn't even the first car in the intersection. I saw the SUV coming. I had nowhere to go. Red means stop for Crissakes! Was probably texting on his stupid phone.
I look at the clock. Two minutes until bliss.
We're not rich, just barely making it. Now I regret downgrading my medical insurance. I was trying to save a few bucks. Besides, I was in perfect health. The two-thousand-dollar major medical deductible never entered my mind. Thinking back, it should have.
Between savings and checking, we had maybe six thousand dollars. That's undoubtedly gone by now. I have way too much time to think, but what else is there for me to do?
The rider on our mortgage policy says in the event of my death, it's paid in full. My two-hundred-thousand-dollar term life policy would pay off everything else. It would take the pressure off Sue for a while.
My family's future wellbeing it's all I think about now.
The pulsating whoosh of the respirator does nothing but increase my determination. The tube is taped to my mouth, and with my good eye, I can see where the other end is connected to the machine. I have two useless arms but a good right leg and foot.
Now instead of counting down the seconds until bliss, I try to hook the breathing tube with my foot and pull it out of the machine.
With a single, morbid purpose in mind, I spend hours attempting to end my life. I figure, as bad a shape as I'm in, I'll last no more than a couple of minutes without oxygen.
Sue will be sad, but after I'm in the ground, she'll eventually move on and find someone else. She's so beautiful it won't take her long. They'll probably be lining up at her door before I'm even cold. She deserves better than to be saddled with a cripple.
On my next attempt, I manage to pull the tube out.
It'll all be over soon.
I hear voices in the hallway, then the high pitch laughter of children. Sue and the girls are here? Now? Sue walks in, smiles, and my two little ones run to my bedside.
"Daddy, Daddy, we miss you. When are you coming home?"
I can't respond. I just look at my two angels. A tear drips down my cheek. God, I love them so much. I look at the unattached tube. What have I done? I don't want to die. I want to live. Through wide, frantic eyes, I look at Sue. My brain screams, Help me!
That's when everything gets loud. Whistles. Alarms. People rush into my room. My cheery nurse gives me an ugly look as she reconnects and tapes my breathing tube to the machine. She leans in close and whispers in my ear. "Don't you EVER try that again on my watch."
Hesitantly, Sue comes forward and puts both girls on the bed next to me. She kisses my cheek as the girls cuddle with me. "Honey, they need you, and I need you."
I look at my family through blurry eyes. I can do this. Somehow, I'll find a way to make it all work.
- COMMENTS
Short and uncomfortable... Not certain if it's in the right category, but has potential to be so much more. If you're still submitting stories, Slirpuff this has enough interesting possibilities that you may want to revisit it and flesh it out.
Odd, why in loving wives, unless we missed Sue was driving the white SUV?
I'm a 71-year-old man and I didn't want to live 15 times in my life. The first time I was 7 years old. My mom and her boyfriend beat and tortured and molested me everyday. I was scared 24/7 I could never get rid of the pain. I woke up 3:00 in the morning one morning and mom was holding the butcher knife to my throat. She said I was no damn good and she might as well put me out of everyone's misery. Finally she left and I laid back down on the bare mattress in the Attic where I had to sleep. I set fire to the mattress. Hoping that my pain and suffering was over. No such luck. A fireman saved me.
Where's the other half of the story?
What is here is good...but it's not finished.
not what i expected and would love to know more about how he got there but in usa i get his motivation
If he is in La La land how does he know his foot is amputated and that his arm will never work properly in future?.
I liked it. A lot. Because I’ve been where he was and made it back. Great story.
Wow! I've never given Slirpuff 1 star before but my only regret here is that I can't give him a minus star. What a stupid waste of time this is.
What was the point of the story?.As for medical expenses,if the driver of the SUV was in the wrong,then he pays big time.
Pull the tube or whatever you need to do to get out of the life. His family will survive on his life insurance, the mortgage insurance will pay off the house and her lawyer will get her enough money so she and the girls can live well from whoever it was that caused the accident. She'll even get her Miata back! Bad ending
FROM 8-9-19 I HAVE APPROXIMATELY 123, OF MY COMMENTS, STORED IN A MODERATION CHAMBER. I HAVE NOT REASON FOR THEM BEING PLACED THERE BY LIT EXEC PERSONNEL. I HAVE ASKED WHY SEVERAL TIMES BUT HAVE RECEIVED NO EXPLANATION AS TO WHY, HOW COME OR ANY REASON, PLEASE EXPLAIN, TK U MLJ LV NV
to move him over the top of any hill. TK U MLJ LV NV
A lot longer. This is a tiny fraction of a story that should have much more depth to it. Also, wtf at the nurse threatening him? Could have been a good story, but it falls far short of the mark.
My children and my grandchildren are all that keeps me here.
Usually you just make it too easy for people, sometimes you force us to think on our own. That's too difficult for some to grasp, good job. Signed: BTW
... welcome all the same. Short, sweet and strong. Wonderfully written. 5*
Because of the WTF factor. This seems to be several paragraphs out of another story. Made no sense at all.
Besides, he'll have plenty of other opportunities to do the right thing. And after a while, Sue will eagerly help him.
makes a man overcome all obstacles. TK U MLJ LV NV
This story is LW story to show if the wife had been cheater bitch and the kids had supported her he would have gotten suicide instead of being a creampieeating cuckold!
I do understand why the cuck supporters do not like this story!
Carbinemaster nailed it. Great scary, thought provoking, tale ... we could feel the pain! But it is NOT Erotic and there is NO adventurous wife included!
Non-Erotic
Great flash story about something that is a personal nightmare of mine. It left me feeling emotionally raw, just reading about his pain and desire to die. Of course, the reversal at the end was uplifting. I wonder, though: why put this story in LW?
I found that it left my emotional reactions dancing in circles. His pain and the sense of uselessness call for death but the kids call for life. Still the deciding vote comes from his wife who knows what is going on in his heart or head.
Slirpuff, decided his story character chose to make lemonade.
Obvious (3) reasons, If you ain't got family you ain't got nothing.
Thanks for sharing on Lit.
x
It seems we are all worth more than the sum of our personal equation. Thanks for this one 5 & FAV
Very good. Made my hurt all over ache. This was word smithing at its finest. Thank you.
But I didn't like it. Not really a LW story. More like Non-erotic. And in that condition he would have been better off dead. So would his family. After some time passes they'll be able to move on with their lives, find a replacement husband and Father and live their lives not taking care of a shell of a man. Not worrying about where the money is going to come from to pay the mortgage or put food on the table. A man that can't take care of them. That will drag them down everyday they have to try and take care of him. So no, I think he had it right in the first place. The right to die should be a choice.
Are these recent flash submissions prelude to a longer tale? I hope so.
The story really spoke to me. I faced a time in my life when I was having much the same thoughts for similar reasons. Someone was there to stop me as well. It's not exactly a happy memory you've dredged up but it is a powerful one and it reminds me of how precious my life actually is. Thank you
For loving wife category. Some wives may discard their husband knowing the future difficulty esp especially starting in at lower economic status
I'll always look forward to one of the masters of this category ! Please post more, because this L.W. category has been overrun by cuckold ' s and sissy boys ! My god its nice to get a story from you and Daniel Q. Steel in one week ! Wish some of these newbies posting now would go back and read some of yours and afore mentioned DQS, Qhm1l, Rehnquist, Laptopwriter, leapyearguy, just to name a few of the really good L.W. writers , and stop posting this drivel that this category is getting now !
It's a powerful glimpse at a moment in the life an Intensive Care Unit patient. I have to agree that it is in the wrong category, but that doesn't take away from the story itself.
I've been a respiratory therapist for 20 years and I have had patients who have tried and sometimes succeeded in disconnecting themselves from the ventilator. Even with restraints it happens because if you are determined to pull out your tube, you'll find a way. If the doctors think you are suicidal vs just confused from injury and drugs, then you can bet on a psych consult. I have seen something like this scenario before. It's tough on us healthcare professionals too. I can sympathize with this man. His quality of life is definitely going to be hard. I've asked myself many times what would I do if I was going through "this" when I am treating patients. Most people in healthcare do and if you haven't heard this before, most doctors and healthcare professionals don't die in a hospital. They have made arrangements for themselves and their families if/when the time nears.
Sorry for the speech, this story just touched something in me.
Thank you for the story. Well done.
P.s. There is always a nurse just like this one in every hospital. It's usually the new nurse who hasn't been changed by the day after day of healthcare reality.
Only a warped puppy thinks this is hot.
Take this mess to the Lifetime Channel forums.
An interesting if bleak story but it should really have been posted in non erotic.
And not your medical insurance, vehicular insurance.
Why is this in this category?
I thought we were going to find out that he was trying to kill himself because he found out his wife was cheating, but apparently not.
It might have been a 4 or even 5 in a different category, but frankly I don't think it belongs in Literotica at all.
sucked! Still a five though.
Kids will do that to you.
Keep at it!
Very good...Short, to the point...the thoughts, alone in a hospital bed can be tremendously disturbing for someone that saw his life transformed to worst in seconds...Only angels can sent those thoughts away...4*
Simple and clearly told. Thanks.
And to the guy still whining about the other story...get a life, moron.
The journey from death to life is a step so short ..like a thin line .... you cover this thin line so well ......
This is excellent writing.
I read another story here about a spoiled rich girl who owned a oil company.
she had her army of lawers try to screw over her husband.
THAT story was so ridiculous and devoid of any realism I felt robbed of time.
This is totally realistic and superbly written.
5*