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Click hereThen she remembered something. Turning to face the man, she asked, "You did say that if I was a good girl in accepting my punishment, I could suck your cock?"
"Yes that's true."
"Well?"
"Well, what?"
Ingrid rolled her eyes as a result of the obtuseness of the man. But then again it might have been an unfunny deliberate attempt at humor. No matter, so Ingrid continued, "Well then, can I indeed suck your cock?"
"Yes, of course."
As Ingrid sauntered back towards the man she thought, 'Well I guess I'm going to find out if this encounter was worth my while or not.'
- COMMENTS
Personally I’d say that was an absolute disaster! He’s supposedly an experienced Dom, unless he’s just bullshitting? Why didn’t he do an OTK warm up first? Why was he letting her top from the bottom?
The dialogue is incredibly stilted, far far too formal. I understand that she’s been socially isolated from her peers but the vast majority of people just don’t talk like that. Maybe you could try read it aloud to yourself before committing to it?
I’d also strongly suggest that you put chapters of your story into the relevant genre. You seem to have a preference for the Novel/ Novella category, I noticed one story very obviously contains incest (a very hard no for me) and yet it’s located in Novel/ Novella.
Thanks for sharing
Tess (uk)