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It's Hard To Find A Good Plumber

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"I need you to come on home," Sydnee whispered and Ken let go of her fists.

"I need you," Sydnee said, putting her arms around him.

"And I need you too," Ken said, kissing the top of her head. "But I am home."

"I see that," she agreed.

The next morning, Mrs. Montoya was singing to Kennedy when Sydnee and Ken entered the kitchen.

"You got no job today; I tell everybody you wife just come here you two need you some time left alone," she announced as she began loading up their plates.

""Oh my God, I can't eat all..." Sydnee began to protest but Ken clamped a hand over her mouth.

"But Honey, I just lost sixty two pounds!" Sydnee whined when he released her mouth.

"And you look great," he said and Sydnee's face lighted up.

"That boat? That no place for pretty baby girl," Mrs. Montoya announced as Dolly came into the house.

"Hi," Sydnee greeted the woman.

"Hey," Dolly said, squinting at Ken. "Hmm, no black eye, he okay, huh?"

"He's okay," Sydnee giggled happily.

"No, pretty little baby girl needs a swing play on, nice back yard," Mrs. Montoya went on.

"But where would we find a swing and a back yard?" Ken asked Mrs. Montoya, smiling.

"Hmm, we put swing right there," Mrs. Montoya pointed to the large oak tree.

"Oh yeah and maybe a slide over there?" Dolly agreed, looking through the window into the back yard.

"Hmm, oh yes, a slide, you like a slide? A slide and you go 'whee!' all the way down?" Mrs. Montoya asked the cooing Kennedy.

Dolly fixed herself a plate and sat at the table.

"Sydnee, what you do, huh?" Dolly asked.

"Well, I was a teacher, taught third grade," Sydnee said, hefting some of the fried plantains onto her fork. "But then they fired me."

"Fired you?" Ken asked, ignoring Dolly as Dolly dropped her fork. "Why'd they fire you?"

"Unmarried and pregnant?" Sydnee asked him.

"You a teacher?" Dolly asked excitedly.

"I mean, it's all right for the high school coach to be giving blow jobs to his students; I mean Baylor Lake's finally winning football games but unwed and pregnant? Oh no, we can't have that," Sydnee shook her head and swallowed.

Dolly got up from the table and scurried to her purse.

""You a teacher?" Mrs. Montoya asked as Dolly began talking rapidly into her cell phone.

"I was; these are good," Sydnee said, stuffing more food into her mouth.

"No, no, tomorrow, she just come home, you leave her alone today," Dolly ordered.

"Who's she talking to?" Sydnee asked Ken.

"Beats me," Ken shrugged.

"So you get you stuff off that boat and get you old room back, okay?" Mrs. Montoya decided.

"And then we put swing up, okay?" the old woman asked Kennedy.

"Okay, fifth grade, Jackson Elementary you start tomorrow," Dolly said, sitting down and eating with great gusto.

"Wait, what?" Sydnee asked.

"Oh, and I watch baby you go to work!" Mrs. Montoya said excitedly.

"But I still need to get stuff off boat?" Ken asked, amused.

"Well, yeah," Mrs. Montoya said. "Boat no place for pretty little girl."

"But if she was ugly?" Ken asked, playing with Kennedy's tuft of blonde hair.

"Then she look like you," Mrs. Montoya said. "But boat still not good place for little girl."

Even though Kennedy was barely five months old, Ken was ordered to hang the swing after he'd finished moving all of his belongings off the boat and back into the spare bedroom. Sydnee sat on a thick root and watched.

"So after Dad passed, I mean it wasn't even a week, Baylor Lake fires me and your Mom said I should come stay with them, in case you ever decided..." Sydnee said, and then faltered.

What Robin had said, with a sneer, was, "In case Kenneth ever decides to grow up and face his responsibilities; we may be waiting a long time."

"Oh, I can about imagine what my mother had to say," Ken said, clamping down the chains that held the swing.

"And see? Daddy's got your swing up," Mrs. Montoya cheerfully said, bringing the freshly bathed and powdered and dressed baby.

Her attempts to brush the tuft down, however, had failed miserably; the tuft still stuck straight up.

"And Mr. Brent call; he say now you living here how much you want for boat?" Mrs. Montoya said.

"Oh my God, you haven't even finished..." Sydnee said.

"Honey, there are no secrets in Bender," Ken said and again squinted at the level he'd placed on the swing. "They all know what we had for breakfast; hell, they even know what we did last night."

"Call me that again," Sydnee said, walking to him.

"What?" Ken asked, looking up from his kneeling position.

"Call me that again," Sydnee asked.

"What, Honey?" Ken asked and she kissed him.

"Call me that again," she ordered.

"Honey," Ken said and Sydnee kissed him again.

"Call me..." Sydnee said.

"Honey," Ken said, getting to his feet and plopping her onto the swing.

"Whee!" Sydnee laughed as Ken gave her a shove.

****

Kennedy 'helped' her mommy plant the gardenias into the large wooden wheelbarrow in front of the house. The three year old girl got more dirt on her than into the barrow.

Two year old Julia was more interested in chasing the dragonfly that hovered just out of her reach. But Kennedy was definitely a 'Mommy's Girl', when she wasn't busy being a 'Grandmama's Girl.'

"And Grandmama says I was too pretty be on a stinky old boat," Kennedy prattled on as Mommy showed Kennedy where to dig the next hole in the dirt.

"Daddy!" Julia screamed as the white van with Bender's Plumber' printed on the side pulled up to the curb.

"Oh my God, let me get a picture of this," Ken said, getting out of the van. "You mean to tell me, Grandmama let y'all out of the house without her hovering over y'all?"

"Shush," Sydnee laughed, getting to her feet with some difficulty, her eight month pregnant belly sticking out over her shorts.

"Hi Honey," Ken said and kissed his wife.

"Call me that again," Sydnee ordered.

"You just in time, lunch on table, come on," Mrs. Montoya said, opening the front door of the house.

The woman shrieked when she saw how filthy Kennedy was. In Spanish, she ordered the three year old girl to get into the bathroom and get out of those filthy clothes. Kennedy knew better than to argue with her Grandmama and scurried into the house.

"This one better be a boy, you hear?" Ken said, rubbing his wife's belly.

"Uh huh, and if it's a girl, what you going to name it?" Sydnee asked as Ken helped Julia wash her small hands in the kitchen sink.

"Trouble," Ken smiled as a freshly scrubbed, freshly changed Kennedy came into the kitchen.

Robin Thibodaux had frowned in disapproval when Julia was named after Sydnee's mother.

"Hey Mom, you drop dead? I'll name my next one after you," Ken had cheerfully suggested.

"Trouble, huh?" Sydnee laughed. "Well, I'm just glad this one's coming in the summer."

"Miss Ortega? She say her sink backed up; you get it after we eat, okay?" Mrs. Montoya said, quickly serving their lunch.

"Oh, I think Daddy's going to need a nap after lunch," Sydnee suggested.

"Them naps why you having another baby," Mrs. Montoya said, taking her own seat at the table. "Daddy get a nap after he finish Miss Ortega, okay?"

THE END

**Author's Note: I write these stories for my pleasure; I post them here for your enjoyment. Thank you for reading my stories.

And now for the disclaimers.
Yes, I need an editor.
Yes, it's in the wrong category.
Yes, it jumps around too much.
Yes, there's too many people to keep track of.
Yes, it's too long.
Yes, it's stupid shit.
And, yes, I suck.
And you have a super sparkly day.

Please rate this story
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
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127 Comments
oldpantythiefoldpantythief3 months ago

I always herd that you only needed to know two things to be a plumber; 1. Shit doesn't run up hill, 2. Fridays payday. Oh, and don't chew your finger nails, so that three things. Fun story that ended different then I thought it would, but if the baby was really his and Sydnee could be believed, hot bad. Loved how Ken didn't cut his mother any slack and I wonder if Virgil is still running?

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Agree with Anonymous from 6 months ago about Virgil. Can see why Sydnee was crushed and insecure. Virgil really worked her over and then enlisted Harrison. Long wanderlust trek until he found his family and a new home. Also whie I don't usualky like "runners", it is more understandable when it is a fiancee before the wedding. 5 stars.

AnonymousAnonymous6 months ago

I agree with the anon., he should get a paternity test done. I think the story would be more interesting if it wasn’t his baby. Just my

2 cents. Otherwise it’s a pretty damn good story. Thanks for it, JB. 5🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

KaeyoKaeyo6 months ago

A nice feel good story. Thanks.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

Virgil was such an absolute piece of human garbage. At first I thought Sydnee was not a worthy woman because a true love would have brought those concerns to Ken. But now I can kinda see how a fat girl who looks nothing like Ken's past girlfriends could be manipulated by Virgil. He even got Harrison in on it, really selling the lie as it now came from two sources--and the MC didn't know it all originated from one asshole source. The one who deserves to be burned is Virgil.

henny6henny611 months ago

Stopped reading when you inserted Politics into a really good story.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Stopped reading on page 2 boring

Cracker270Cracker270about 1 year ago

I love it when my face breaks out in a little grin when I finish reading. Nice job, thank you.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Seemed like a partial story. What happened to Virgil? What about all the others?

SignedBTWSignedBTWabout 1 year ago

Ya Might Eat

But you sure as hell don't suck. *****'s Signed: BTW

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Cute story. Lies and lack of communication got the MC on a walkabout. Glad they reconciled and he got a new family. Virgil was a worm. Harrison was stupid. And Sydnee never cheated. Nothing to burn here people. Just Virgil.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

The btb haters have no basis for going off on Sydnee here. Ther is no evidence of cheating. She accused him based on lies from Virgil and crap from the parents, but she did not cheat. She made a mistake listening to the MC's best friend (alleged friend). Same asshole lies to the MC and he falls fir it hook, line, and sinker and bam he flees what he thought was an ambush, but was Sydnee coming to apologize. Bad tempered wife? Check. Cowardly idiot husband. Check. Poor communication. Check. Bad timing and worse luck. Check. But no cheating on Sydnee's part.

Tarloso2Tarloso2over 1 year ago

Nice.simple.needed a good ass kicking of the "friend"

JimmyThePlungerJimmyThePlungerover 1 year ago

Very entertaining, thanks for writing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

You do not suck.

BigjohnpBigjohnpover 1 year ago

Very good I love to read more stories like this one

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Wow. The vehemence of the commenters who go after the fiancee. Yeah she should have talked to him, but Virgil was supposedly his best friend. There was no evidence that she did anything in terms of cheating or infidelity. Virgil made that up and told Harrison. And guess what. The MC believed them, setting the stage for him to flee after his mother set up the ambush with Sydnee, once Sydnee knew the truth from Ingrid via her father. Wtf? Who runs in that situation? Well he had already been duped by Virgil with an unknowing assist by Harrison. Maybe she went out a few time a dancing, to make him jealous and take notice. That is actually NOT clear. Harrison admitted to making it up at Virgil's behest (the same Virgil who fled the bank when Ken arrived). So if she did go out it wasn't at thr club that Harrison worked at. So yeah Sydnee messed up. And yet Ken fled because he too listened to lies from "friends". So she gets vitriol and he gets a free pass. Grow up! Worse even when he saw Kennedy, he still fled to Florida. Didn't stay at all. Pretty clear that the author wrote Sydnee as faithful and deeply in love with Ken, but she listened to lies from Virgil, with bad advice from her parents, because of her insecurities about not being Ken's "type". She made a mistake. It was not remotely cheating. She got angry and accused him of something he did not do and did not talk to him about it. He heard rumors and lies and fled when confronted when Sydnee just wanted to apologize. Some of the haters on this site are in need of help.

TimcutyourshitTimcutyourshitalmost 2 years ago

Where did everyone sleep?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Sydnee was a fat bitch and he should not have hooked up with her but he was too pussywhipped listening to his friend Virgil then being dominated by Dolly and her mother!! TRASH

ibuguseribuguseralmost 2 years ago

I agree with "Yes, it jumps around too much".

But a 5* nonetheless.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Don't know why in the hell he wants her. And he needs to get a paternity test done.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

There's a couple of versions of this story by this author where there is a guy with a bitch mother and a psycho girlfriend with no self-esteem, the psycho girlfriend becomes a raging headcase, the guy leaves, then finds out he knocked up the psycho, and melts into a puddle of goo, when really what he needed to do was to punch his mother and the psycho in the mouth really hard. I'd like to see that story.

AnotherChapterAnotherChapterabout 2 years ago

Every now and again, in a moment of weakness, I read comments. Invariably it leaves me depressed with the average comprehension of the Anonymous readers on this site. Read the Damn story and comment on what you actually read, not on what you have assumed you read! Sydnee never cheated on Ken, Ken never cheated on her either while they were together. Virgil spread a bunch of lies around to destroy their relationship. Now, one last piece of advice, if you can’t read go take a course, but please don’t write criticisms of other works based on your ignorance and incomprehension! Go back to comic books where you can figure out the pictures!

KinPAKinPAabout 2 years ago

Just reading the last few comments, I am amazed at the absolute lack of reading comprehension exhibited by the commenters. Everything Ken was told that Sydney was supposedly doing was hearsay from Virgil. Slow down, temper the the case of the stupids and put away the torches and pitchforks, and just read what the author has written. This isn’t quantum mechanics…

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

I really think I like your comments as much as I like your stories. Another 5, for the story and one for the comments at the end...LOL !

EastCoaster

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

this should be in the cuckold /raising another mans baby cause im a beta category.

weak ass beta ken raising virgils kid like a faggot

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

unearned raac with a whore .

never established whose baby cuckboy is accepting ... ill just assume its virgils kid

one star .

well deserved

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

REALLY, AFTER ALL THE DRAMA THE STUPID KEN ENDS UP WITH THE WHINING SLUT BITCH SYDNEE.....TRASH

OldmantruckerOldmantruckerover 2 years ago

Cant plz everyone i guess. Maybe THEY should try writeing THEIR own stories, and let Us tare THEIR stories apart.. i hope u DONT listen to all the bs. U know they have their heads up a certain part of their body

All i can say is THANKYOU FOR UR STORIES... HOPE U KEEP WRITEING THEM..

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Why do these "writers" think that composing nearly 1 and a half pages of travel/destination spots drivel is actually interesting writing?

I am convinced people here think they are hot shit when they manage a rating above 4. I have often observed the bemoaning of people who comment but haven't posted, as if that is evidence of anything but time on one's hands.

If a reader can skip multiple pages and miss nothing, the story is shit. It's more than that, it's a waste of god damned time. Time that one can never get back.

So with all due respect to this 4.5 score... I once worked with a mentally retarded person at a supermarket. I was in high-school at the time. The bag boy was nearly 40 and believed wrestling to be real. He talked about it nonstop.

Now, I am not insulting the man. He was sweet, kind and innocent. He couldn't help what he was. He did believe something was real when it wasn't. Just like the readers are too retarded to understand bad fiction.

This was pure shit and a complete waste of time. ss77

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I certainly enjoy all of JimBob44's stories but this was a little disappointing with the "surprise child" trope that is overused on this site and can't be done in anything resembling a believable way.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Another great addition to your family of characters.

You always leave us wanting more from them, even as you finish your story.

That I think is your best trait.

AngelRiderAngelRideralmost 3 years ago

Uh yeah, thus one sucks

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

Yes this story was kick ass!

Yes this story was fun to read!

Yes this story was well written!

Yes this story was adventurous!

Yes this story was a favorite!

Yes this story was worth 5 stars!

MarkT63MarkT63almost 3 years ago

Glad he had balls for most of the story...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

Sydnee “got down and dirty with some of his boys” and he just accepts the baby is his?

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

Some unresolved things in the story. Ok otherwise.

Just_WordsJust_Wordsabout 3 years ago

Sorry, but I must disagree with you.

You do not need an editor.

It is in the right category.

It does not jump around too much.

There are not too many people to keep track of.

It is not too long.

It is not stupid shit.

And you do not suck.

This is a very engaging and interesting story that rings true on every page. I liked it a lot and I especially liked the character development! 5***** from me.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

Oh no, it's the "surprise child" cliche again. Oh well.

GriscomGriscomover 3 years ago

After all that, I really have no idea why he's back with Sydnee.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago

This is a great story well told. I kept laughing aloud reading it.

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveover 3 years ago

Nice

With a friend like our hero had, who needs enemies. He ran across the country thinking he was accused of something, but he didn't do anything. Nice happily ever after.

Five Stars

FlynnTaggartFlynnTaggartover 3 years ago

Not bad, gave it a 4, quite a light and enjoyable story even if there was a few problems. Virgil his best friend betraying him was never explained and Sydnee being taken back even with a kid (that he had no idea was his) so easily after literally running across the country was odd. Otherwise a good story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago

So , we never find out who the kids real father is ?

Ken is an idiot for not having a test done and even more so for taking this slut back

whateverittakeswhateverittakesover 3 years ago

Whatever happened to Virgil? Heard nothing after he ran out of the bank.

Wolfgang1955Wolfgang1955over 3 years ago

Could you explain to me how you see Ken. Please

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
Need Understanding

Really ,really enjoy the dialogue. It's so natural! The whole story is enhanced by the banter/repartee and the interaction between the various characters. All the scenes are very realistic, which makes the plot flow easily. Sad to see JimBob44 is no longer writing.5*s.

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bcalmost 4 years ago

Really enjoyed this one - not as dark as some of yours and the husband and wife aren't 20+ years apart in age. 5*

AnonymousAnonymousabout 4 years ago
Pretty interchangeable

With any one of a thousand stories on here. Cut and paste writing, done by pretty much every writer.

Jealous friend tells wife/girlfriend/fiancée guy is cheating. She believes it without asking a single question..... Check

She goes nuts.... Check

His mother sides with her, instead of her own son.... Check

Guy runs away crying.... Check

She suddenly decides he's innocent and wants him back.... Check

He's pissed off at everyone.... Check

She's suddenly pregnant/has child aged X years old.... Check

Claims it's his, with zero evidence offered or asked for.... Check

All is forgiven, happy ever after....... Check

Check please!

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