All Comments on 'Julie My Fiancée Ch. 01'
by Mike2012
- 10 Comments
I guess this was one of your earlier works, and you didn't have an editor at the time, because your latest works are so much better there is just no comparison. This story has misspelled words, missing words, really poor punctuation marks, and the way you change the tense between past and present is just way too distracting for your readers. The story itself is super nasty, and I can see how you were developing your touch and style, but there is not much else I can say about this except that I love your newest works a heck of a lot better.
This pair is a heavenly match. I knew from the start that Nick was gonna share Julie. Julie is a cum bucket with no moral compass to offset Nicks pleas. She just can't say no.
The writing was herky jerky in spots, and the spellings and grammatical flops spoiled the flow of the story. This was so different from your previous stories. Yes, I'm a fan. And yes, I will read the other stories about Nick and Julie. Three stars.
Perfect Hot Wife
The story is an excellent idea to convert an uptight conservative wife even Asian to a Hot Wife and really enjoy life to its full content.
Women must understand nearly all woman 99% including their mother and sister have enjoyed and are enjoying outside marriage. It is perfectly fine. Only nobody talks about it openly like in the Western world .
The dialogue here is too stilted. Not natural at all. Trying using contractions, like real people talk.
Love to watch my wife be treated like her. Watching her broken down and trained to accept and enjoy dominant men making her a cocksucker. Them knowing what to say and how to treat her so she becomes a slut. I would love to see her trying to tell them no and him just putting his dick on her face. Laughing at her as he watches her weaken, telling her she’s a weak cocksucker as he puts his dick on her lips and pushes into her mouth as she opens it for him.
I’d love seeing her surrender as she whines when he tells her that’s what she’s made for as he fucks her mouth calling her a whore. I’d love to see my wife become like that. Feeling weak everytime she’s “made” to suck another mans dick and cumming when he shots his cum for her to sallow.
I really enjoyed the story for the most part. Really good action and good detail. Using the 'N' word does not help the story, and I really wish you would use an editor.