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Click hereZorran looked over at the three crushed people.
Zorran addressed Susan. "I suggest you get off your fat ass and get a job. You are going to need an income to support you and the two leeches over there."
"As for you two," Zorran said through tight lips, "If you have not figured it out yet, the gravy train just pulled out of the station and you're not on it. I feel it is too late for you to pull your grades up for academic scholarships, but who knows, maybe you can qualify for something. Again reaching into a drawer, he pulled out two much thinner folders. "These contain a list of all the trade schools in the state, also a listing of the military recruiters here in Raccoon City. I would not suggest you utilize the latter as you are truly NOT cut out for the service... but I would be remiss if I did not mention it. Mike, I think you need to get out from under your brother's influence. Get your own identity. Otherwise, you are going to be his flunky for your entire life."
Zorran looked down at his desk and began to write some notes; after a few minutes, he looked up...
"You're still here? Is there anything else you want or need to know? Good. get the fuck out. Oh, Susan, as Bill has left already; please see my scheduler on your way out and pay my bill. Skip on it today and I will have the cops on your ass by tomorrow. Have a good day."
Zorran returned his gaze to the papers on his desk, effectively dismissing Susan, Frank and Mike.
++++++++
Yup, just a fantasy; but you could tell that already. I mean REALLY! Who packs a revolver in today's world of autoloaders?!
- COMMENTS
Lol. This was hilarious. Do you know how many times I have wanted to tell my patients and their families exactly what I think of them? This was wild. Thank you 😊
Very good story, no 1, thanks for sharing. Maybe ole Zorran had a Smith Model 29. Those monsters will take the fight out of just about anyone. Too bad about good old Tyrone, sounds like he had a terrible accident. At least he was in the shower, accident like that probably would’ve ruined the carpet. I really wish there had been one more page, I would have liked to have seen how the whore and her two leeches handled life without Bill’s money coming in to subsidize their worthless existence. Again, excellent story, no 1, for my money it’s definitely a 5 star effort.
Bill was a fuckin’ wimp. Go to the hospital, document injuries, have her BBCs arrested. Restraining order against her. And fuck those two worthless kids.
Agree, would have been funny if she got knocked up too.
If there’s any justice, Tyrone would have knocked Susan up before his balls got sucked down the drain. But I mean seriously, who has a shower drain with enough suction to suck down a set of nuts? I smell a rat here. Wonder if his name is Zorran.
Thanks for the story, no1, I loved it. 5⭐️s.
Revolvers DO have their place. Especially in a desk drawer. Great story. Ole bill at least had balls, and getting your ass whipped don't mean you're a pussy. 5 stars man
Loved this. S. F.
Much appreciated. Not too long and note too short but a perfect fit and perfect conclusion.
The wife deserved to take a dirt nap, along with the two jiggabulls. The fact that they attacked him twice he should have grown a pair bought a heater and ended all three of them, and easily got off any charges as it was self defense, the bitch must have been hit by a "stray" bullet...... and yes they not only deserve it they also deserve eternity in hell "if there is one" I for one would sleep better knowing that's exactly where they and all like them will be.
Who packs a revolver? The guy who knows he's got the only gun in the room.
Lol
Where is the next part.... Where....
Unfinished... Unsatisfactory.
Toooooo much babbling bullshit and then Fusssss.
Nothing.
Totally rushed ending.
Where are their punishment... Their lament...
I always thought it was life's a bitch and then you marry one
Feminist are able to do what they do because even amongst gonad carrying members of the male tribe we have many in our midst who have not checked their balls for a long time..some wear panties and makeup to feel in with the crowd…and the remaining have lost the ability to think rationally and have transferred permanently their grey matter somewhere in the tip of their dicks! Shortly as soon as some scientist develops a way to implant a semen/crest semen in the lab…men will be an extinct animal!
I love this story and how it evokes the scorn of all the woke feminists. Yes, there is another half of the population.
The new title should be "Life's a bitch and then you marry one"
Loved your story again. Just realized the irony.of Raccoon City. Good.one.
someone who doesn't want to worry about the gun jamming ; )
I can see what you were going for but it came up short.
Too over the top to actually be amusing.
Great story. That was fun. It was easy to hate her, but the ending made it worthwhile. Not a chance it would ever happen that way, but who cares?
Sarcasm? Parody? None of the above. Just flat out stupid. Stupid. STUPID.
Great story!!! The only thing wrong is it was way too short,. Loved it. Bill can become my hero. 13 stars. ( Again, I can't count, as you may know. ) The Bear DEFINATELY approves. More, more, more please.
The BEAR
The lazy device of every writer, the cliche BBC and the pussy-whipped husband. Frankly, I expected more from you. You write very well, this was a shitpile.
I like this guy Zorran . Sounds like on of the best counselors in the LW stable. Good story.
You aren't exactly correct, at least in Michigan support can be ordered beyond age 18 if the "child" is in college, at least when I was in court years ago.
"Before he packed everything in for the day, he managed to get hold of his friend Moe, a paralegal at Skrewwum, Skrewwum and Howe for a reference to a divorce lawyer. Moe, was able to get him in to see one of the partners, Lawrence "Curley" Howe, the next day." Personally I'd take Bud and Lou over the Stooges.
"I mean REALLY! Who packs a revolver in today's world of autoloaders?!" You do realize the one big advantage of revolvers over pistols? If a pistol misfires it takes two hands and time to clear it, if a revolver misfires you just pull the trigger again. Of course I'm talking about modern double action revolvers. Thanks for the fun, but then again I'm not too it was just a fantasy, it sure didn't seem like it when I went through it. Signed: BTW
was an interesting twist. Authors should stop with the "and you'll have to pay for college" bit. It isn't true in the vast majority of states.
Anonymous 11/01/19 looks be another Susan in waiting! She is now afraid that her husband will find out that she has been screwing Tyrone’s two brothers. Her comments were just trying to save face so as Zorran says “Tell the bitch to fuckoff!”
I love when ignorant writers perpetuate the, "women biologically need more sex than a single male can provide." That may be the case in YOUR life, you dickless moron, but not for the rest of us.
Good story about taking the shrew. A little over the top, but so are most fantasy stories. Racist? I don't think so. The bbc starring in this story are exactly the same as in any LW story, here only as sex objects for degrading "inferior"White men. Nothing degrades you like.having.your wife go dark. This time the black bullies got what they deserved.
I'm sure if you try real hard you can make you next story even more racist. Hard to believe, I know.
Hey, no1...thanks for the fun addition to the pile of 'same old, same old' that clogs the files here at Lit.
Nice guy gets a reality check. His wife was a horrible individual, but his sons were complete garbage. What those 2 young men needed was a swift boot up the ass. Thanks for sharing no1specific.
No comments about this being racist. A brother is dead another maimed. Great job. 5
Damn, Anon, if you hate the stories her on Lit. so much, why do you torture yourself by reading them? As for “misogynistic”, I don’t think you understand the meaning of the word. I thought the story was a little bit over the top, but that’s what satire is about, isn’t it? But there was one thing that really, really bothered me: Zombie Polka bands? Good God, what has the world become?
If you don't think this is funny then you had no brain cells to begin with.
You guys need to grow a sense of humor. You must think comedy is an ugly growth on humanity that should be carved out and replaced by a more sensible alternative. This story is the answer to all the husbands screwed by an unfair system that is blind to reality. The law firm of "Skrewwum, Skrewwum and Howe" was the funniest thing I've ever read. Hopefully Bill has seen the light and will take his balls from his wife's purse, take them in his own hands and get out from under the cloud of darkness posing as a wife and boys. This easily earned a 5 star.
I mean if it was funny or well written one can overlook the ridiculousness, misogynist and racist tone of the story. But it’s so poorly written and uninteresting! Only LW readers where it seems so many of the fans seems to be wounded little men would a drivel like this get such a high score.
I was laughing at the end! I assume that was intent of the story if not sorry it was to my reading pleasure!
Please keep writing and I will keep reading
This may be, hands down, one of the most ridiculous stories I've read here......I think I lost brain cells reading it.
Your story has no basis in reality. What state do you live in that would let a man come into your home, assault you, fuck your wife and then punish you in court...well other than California? The only question here would have been which one of them I would have shot first. The fact this story has a rating of over four is why I give ratings little credence.
A good wheelgun will never let you down. Good story otherwise ;)
But I have a question. Why does swingerjoe continue to review comments about his comments? Then make anonymous comments supporting his comments. There was a hand signal in high school which explained swingerjoe's behavour, you point your index finger straight up on your right hand and stick your right hand thumb at 90 degrees! That is what swingerjoe is |_ (a Loser), lmao!
Yes, it was over the top and chock full of clichés. The husband is/was a complete wimp, but maybe he'll do better in the future. Wife and kids had no value whatsoever. Still, Zorran was fun and the only real man in the story. Thanks for the laugh.
God bless that was awful! Awful good!
I keep thinking of all those poor slobs who've really been screwed over by their wives. This story just seems to be what they need to hear.
Sure it was make believe, but who cares. I mean really.
Write some more like this and you'll be running for president... and winning!
Jedd Clampett
Actually...
The man was hit by the "Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything" from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams.
I think it has symmetry that he is smacked down by the meaning of life.
And thank you for the education regarding the Zombie-Death-Polka genre. I never knew the origin of your title, and enjoyed all the different musical references in the song, especially since I love Klezmer and clarinet music. So...that is what is created at high altitudes...
If only someone could answer me why we are all here... if only there was a white mouse somewhere in the whole large UNIVERSE who could answer a simple question
The 42 throws me, probably because I am less erudite than #1spec. But I do find an Express Bus long after rush hour to be unusual! But, not as unusual as slipping repeatedly and getting your cojones caught in the drain! Especially for guys who have great rhythm.
This was actually really funny,, I thought it was going down a different road, but the good doctor saved the day hahaha.
Yeah! Go for Zorran. We need him as a political consultant. Think of what a hard dose of reality would do to DC........ thanks for sharing.
Yowzah yowzah yowzah!!!!
It's a feel good story about righting wrongs.
Realistically many guys have to go to ground. It's our own fault. We agreed to those changes in divorce laws. Now there seems no way to get back to parity.
Come on people.... no one caught the meaning of the bus number???
Seriously, thanks for all the comments; good and bad. If I can get you to react, I am doing my job!
No1
Hell yes...... loved the story, and then the Yul Brennner reference.... awesome. thank you
Wow, made my day. Terrible that any person would have such low self esteem but it sure saved his butt in the end with a giant push from his advisor. I am still smiling and probably will be for the rest of the day. Thanks!
Just to set the record straight, I own.....
a Beretta 96
a S&W99
a Raven in .25
and.... wait for it.... waaaaaaait.... a S&W K-Frame, Model 10 in .38 Special
this of course does not catalog long guns, shot guns, clamors, etc. etc. etc. (the last part is said in a Yul Brynner "The King and I" accent
This is a total piece of garbage and appears to have been written by a mentality deficient old male.
But I loved the 3 Stooges references! Thoroughly enjoyed this tale and I hope to read more. 5*, easy!