All Comments on 'Magical Incest Ch. 01: The Black Candle'
by bob03567
- 16 Comments
Your premise was flimsy and the delivery extremely weak... the set up was so two-dimensional and flat that when you started telling the story the protagonist was reading, it was so much more detailed than your set up that it looks like you cut n' pasted someone else's work into your story. You might have been better to just use the story Dean read as the main work and skip the story-within-the-story concept. That concept almost never works unless it's much, much shorter... and you need to remember that the story-within-the-story should NEVER be as nearly so detailed as the primary tale. Overall, an interesting concept but a very disappointing delivery.
Maverick, your far too critical. This was a delightful story... If you want pulitzer, I can recommend a good one to read...this is literotica, lighten up!!!
Bob, this was a great start to what I hope is one of many chapters to come. Keep
up the great work
A few basic editing errors but nothing detracting.
Lets hope part 2-3 are ready before Halloween...
Most enjoyable.
Very good story with realistic feelings and emotions. Many young guys have similar desires and would like to have way to get mom to do it.
This is a great story of doubled motherfucking--Caiden on the internet and (potentially) Dean who's reading Caiden's story. I like Caiden's story. I don't care about the black candle shit. Candle, shmandle, whatever gets a boy's big hard cock up his own mother's warm wet twat is good news in my book. I like Caiden's mom, though. Making out with her boy, she cups his balls. That's always such a sweet thing for a mother to do to her boy, I think. And I like it that Caiden sticks his hand right up his mother's dress. That's something lots and lots of boys have the urge to do to their mom. When it happens, like with Caiden, they find something really interesting. It's warm and furry, and when it hits them what it is, they gets harder than ever before in their lives. Some boys just cream their pants, others like Caiden have a better idea, and he winds up fucking his own mother. Reading this story Dean gets super-aroused, he can't get it out of his mind. The poor 20 year old kid doesn't realize it, but it's triggered his own latent motherfucking urges. Then what does he do? Dean jerks off like some damn 14 year old. He blows his young balls and shoots his semen all over his chest and stomach. That's just dumb. Doesn't he realize there's a much, much better place to blow his balls and shoot his semen? Guess where? If you don't know, I'm sure bob'll tell us in the sequel to this excellent tale.
I'm enjoying your story after inadvertently starting at Chapter 5, so I already know what's in store for Dean and Mavis, as well as Caidin, his mom, and his aunt. but no problemo! It's like one of those movies that start in the middle, somewhere, and then go back to how the story got there. Not a bad idea, actually. I enjoyed how Caidin looked after his mom so well, and am looking forward to seeing how Dean does the same. Thanks for the mystical fantacy!
Dean is a very lucky boy,he got his dream and his wish at the same time. He fucked his mom........nice read THANKS
Not a downward spiral...just good frequent fucking with lots of cum spirting.
A very good read. I have never has sex with my mom butI have with my daughters.One become a cheer leader, very beautiful and the other was a dancer while both werein high school. It started much earlier but thats another story. dp