Mary and Alvin Ch. 27

Kaddish

"Day O!"

Mary wiped her hands on a dish towel and went to the front door. Hannah and Bonita were doing a clumsy dance on the porch, singing and clapping their hands together.

"Come Mister Tappyman, tappy my banana," Hannah sang.

"Daytimes come and I want to go home!" Bonita responded.

They stopped and looked up when they heard Mary laugh.

"Where did you learn that song?" she asked them.

Hannah frowned. "Papa taught us. Is it a bad song?"

"No, sweetheart. I am sure Papa will teach you many bad songs, but that's not a bad song."

"Okay," Hannah said. She turned back to Bonita and shouted, "Day O!" and their song began again.

Mary looked up and saw Danni walking up the driveway from the new house. There was something in her posture, and in her demeanor, that wiped the smile from Mary's face.

"Mama Danni, Papa taught us a song," Bonita called out as Danni mounted the steps.

"That's good, baby." She touched her daughter's head. "But I have to talk to Mama Mary right now, okay? You can sing it for me later."

"Hannah, too."

"Of course, Hannah, too." She straightened up and Mary saw that her eyes were wet.

"Come in the house," Mary said, swinging the screen door open. "Do you want some tea?"

"Sure. Thank you," Danni replied. She followed Mary to the kitchen and dropped into a chair at the table. Mary turned on the flame under the kettle, then sat down across from her.

"Danni, what's wrong?" she asked.

Danni sighed and said, "My sister Irina called me."

"Your sister? Oh my god, Danni. You haven't talked to anyone in your family for years, have you?"

Danni stared down at the table and shook her head. "Mary," she said, her voice on the edge of breaking, "My mother is dying."

Mary rose and rounded the table. She knelt next to Danni and put her arms around her. "I'm so sorry, honey, what happened?"

"She developed some sort of systemic infection. Went septic. They can't get it under control." She stopped speaking and breathed deeply in and out. "Her whole system is shutting down."

Mary squeezed her tighter, and Danni hugged her back. The whistle of the kettle went ignored.

"I want to go see her," Danni whispered.

"Of course you do."

"Mama, what's wrong with Danni?"

Mary turned to see Hannah and Bonita standing in the doorway, holding hands and looking frightened. She did not blame them, it frightened her to see Danni distraught. She had come to always expect such strength from her.

"It's okay, Hannah." She held out her arms. "Come here, girls."

Hannah came to her, but Bonita seemed frozen in place, staring at Danni. Mary nudged Danni's leg with her elbow. Danni looked up and saw Bonita.

"Oh, honey, everything is okay. I'm just a little upset about something. Everything is fine."

Bonita looked skeptical, but came to her, in slow, hesitant steps. Danni hoisted her into her lap. She frowned and said to Mary, "She's never met her grandmother."

Mary got up and turned off the kettle. She made two cups of tea and brought them back to the table.

"So, go see her," Mary said as she sat back down.

Hannah climbed up on a chair. "Is Nita's granma my granma?" she asked.

"No, honey, she's, um, well, I'm not sure what she is to you."

"Mama Mary is my granma," Bonita said emphatically.

"Well, sort of," Danni said. Mary could not help but laugh, and the barest trace of a smile crossed Danni's face.

"My mama is your grandma, too," Danni explained.

"Where is she?" Bonita asked, looking confused.

"She lives in a place called Providence. That's kind of far away."

"Can we go visit?"

Danni winced.

"You know what, girls?" Mary said, "Theo is cleaning the alpaca barn. Why don't you go sing him the song that Papa taught you?"

"Yeah!" Hannah shouted, jumping down from the chair. "Come on, Nita."

Bonita hesitated a second, then slipped from Danni's lap. The two girls scurried out of the house. Mary could hear them shouting as they ran to the barn, but she couldn't tell if they were shouting "Theo" or "Day-O."

"Jennifer should be back from Bangor soon, we'll figure out what we want to do," Danni said. The two of them sat quietly and sipped their tea. After a while, Theo came in and washed up at the kitchen sink.

"The girls come and serenade you?" Mary asked him.

"Yeah, thanks for that," he said sarcastically, "Music to clean alpaca crap by."

"Where are they now?"

"They are out in the dooryard, hassling the chickens."

"You should have told them not to do that, honey."

"Better them than me," he shrugged, but he went back out of the house and Mary heard him shout, "Quit pestering the chickens."

Mary shook her head. "When did he get so tall? I think he's as tall as I am now."

"I told him that if he tries out for basketball, I'll practice with him," Danni said. She sat back and sighed. "Thanks for letting me...well...be vulnerable, Mary."

Mary reached across the table and touched her hand. "Honey, I'm always here for you."

"Thanks." She forced herself to smile. "Will you keep an eye on the rugrat for a while longer? I want to make some calls, see if I can talk to someone at the hospital."

"Sure. But I can do that for you if you want."

"No," she said, standing up, "I want to do it."

"Okay, but why don't you guys come have supper with us tonight?"

"I'd like that," Danni said. "I really need family right now."

***

The smell of roasting chicken filled the house when Alvin came home from the wharf. Mary came from the kitchen and kissed him on the cheek. "Did you talk to Danni today?" she asked.

"Jen came by and told me what was going on," he replied. He kicked off his shoes and went to sit at the kitchen table.

"They are coming up for supper," she told him, sitting down and taking his hands in hers.

"Good," he said, "We need to give her all the support we can."

"I agree. Now go wash up, they will be here any minute. And check on Hannah, okay? She was napping, but she should be up by now."

Alvin went up the stairs. He peeked into the nursery and saw Hannah sitting on the floor, playing with her Legos. He went in and sat down on the floor beside her.

"What are you making, pumpkin?" he asked her.

"A house."

"Who is going to live in the house?"

"Me and you and Mama and Jen and Danni and Nita and Charlotte. But not Theo."

"Why not Theo?"

"No boys."

"But I'm a boy."

"No, you're a Papa."

"Is there a difference?"

"Yes, there is."

The girl is right, Alvin thought. His knees popped as he rose to his feet. "Well, come on little muffin, it's almost time for supper."

Jennifer and Danni were coming in the front door as Alvin carried Hannah downstairs. Danni had Bonita in her arms. Mary plated the chicken and placed it on the table, along with bowls of asparagus and roasted potatoes and a platter of sliced tomatoes.

Everyone was quiet as they ate, until Bonita broke the silence.

"What was this chicken's name?" she asked.

"It didn't have a name," Mary told her, "It came from the store."

"Mama Jen said that that mean chicken that pecked me was named Stockpot."

Alvin and Mary both laughed.

"Was that a joke?" Bonita asked, scowling.

"Yeah, it was, honey," Jen told her.

"Well, I don't get it," Bonita shrugged, going back to her potatoes.

They finished eating and Mary and Jen cleared the dishes from the table. Hannah and Bonita went to the living room to watch television while the adults remained at the table to talk.

"So, any news?" Alvin asked.

"Yes," Danni said, "I talked to the hospital and to Irina." She stopped, took a breath, but was unable to continue.

Jennifer spoke in a soft, almost timid voice. "They are waiting until the whole family can be there tomorrow evening, and then they are going to turn off the life support."

"The whole family?" Alvin asked.

Danni looked up at him and shrugged.

He held her gaze and asked, "What time are we leaving?"

***

Alvin scrambled a pan of eggs and fried some sliced ham while Mary packed a few last things.

"Honey, come and eat," Alvin called as he put a plate down in front of Hannah.

"Be down in a minute," Mary answered, "I'm looking for a pair of black tights."

"What's so important about black tights?"

"Alvin, think about it."

"Oh." He sat down with Hannah and ate his eggs. Mary came down and got hers.

"Find them?" He asked.

"No, we'll stop somewhere and get some." She paused. "If I need them."

Hannah was pushing her food around her plate.

"What's the matter, baby, aren't you hungry?" Mary asked.

Hannah pouted at her. "I don't get to go on the trip."

"Sweetie, it's not going to be a fun trip."

"Nita gets to go."

"That's different, baby."

"Why?"

"Well, because that's what Jen and Danni decided."

"If I ask Jen, can I go?"

"No, sweetie."

"Why?"

Mary looked to Alvin for help. He stood and walked to the sink. Reaching over it, he lifted the wishbone from last night's chicken from the curtain rod where he had hung it to dry.

He sat back down and held it up in front of his daughter.

"Make a wish, sweetheart."

Hannah gripped one end of the wishbone in her fist, while Alvin held his side between his thumb and forefinger.

"Okay, pumpkin, pull," he told her. She closed her eyes and made a great show of effort until the bone snapped, then she looked down at her hand and saw that she held only a short end of bone. She looked up at her father with a distraught expression.

"I don't got my wish," she whimpered.

Alvin pulled her into his lap. "Well, sweetheart, I got mine, and do you know what Papa wished for?"

"What?" she said, on the verge of tears.

"I closed my eyes and I wished as hard as I could. And I wished that you would get every wish you ever have come true."

"I wish to go on the trip," she mumbled.

"Well, I'm sorry honey, but it only counts for wishes made after."

Mary chuckled. "Papa is a bamboozler, honey," she told Hannah.

"What's a babloozer?"

"Oh, you'll learn soon enough, baby. Now go wash your face and hands."

Hannah climbed down from Alvin's lap and marched from the kitchen.

"This is going to feel strange," Mary said, "being away from her."

"You can stay home if you want," Alvin shrugged.

"No, I want to be there for Danni."

They finished their eggs and Alvin got up and went to the bottom of the staircase. "Come on, Hannah, time to go," he called. She came down the steps, taking them slowly and dragging her favorite stuffed animal, a beat up elephant that had once belonged to Charlotte. When she got low enough, Alvin scooped her up and carried her out to his car. Mary followed them, carrying a little pink suitcase and a shopping bag packed with toys and books.

Alvin secured Hannah in her booster, then stepped back. Mary put the suitcase and bag on the seat next to Hannah, then kissed her on the forehead.

"You be a good girl for Andy and Jessica, okay, sweetheart?"

"I will, Mama."

"We will be home in a few days," she said, holding back tears as she kissed her daughter again. She backed out of the car, and Alvin hugged her.

"It will be alright," he assured her, kissing her cheek and tasting a salty tear.

She nodded and waved goodbye to Hannah as Alvin got into the driver's seat and started down the driveway.

"Why is Mama sad?" Hannah asked him as he turned on to the road.

"Because she is going to miss you."

"Oh. I miss her too."

"What about Papa? Will you miss Papa?"

"Yes," she said, then paused. "But Mama more."

Alvin laughed. "I understand that, pumpkin, I can't bear to be away from her long myself."

He drove into town and pulled up in front of the bakery. By the time he parked and opened the back door, Hannah had already unbuckled her seat belt and was clambering out of her booster.

"Honey, what did I tell you about unbuckling?"

"I waited till you full stopped."

"We got one lawyer in the family, honey, we don't need another."

He lifted the suitcase, tucked it under his arm, then picked up the shopping bag. Taking Hannah's hand, they walked to the door of the bakery and went inside.

Jessica came around the counter, brushing flour from her hands. She scooped Hannah up in her arms, squeezed her and gave her a kiss, then deposited her in a seat at one of the small bakery's half dozen tables.

"Where is Emly?" Hannah asked her.

Jessica squatted down and spoke to her at eye level. "She's in the back. If I bring her out here, will you look after her for me?"

"Uh huh. I look after Nita all the time."

Alvin laughed. "I'm not sure Bonita sees it that way, honey."

"And guess what?" Jessica continued, "My little boy Jimmy is staying with me this weekend. So we will all have a good time, won't we?"

"Okay," Hannah nodded. She looked up at her father. "Can I have a choclate doughnut?"

"I think there might be one around here," he said. Jessica stood up and he put his hand on her shoulder. "We really appreciate you and Andy helping out," he told her.

"It's no problem. How's Danni doing?"

"She's, you know," he shrugged, "Danni."

"Give her our love, okay?"

"I will. So, you've got your boy for the weekend?"

Jessica's face lit up. "Yeah, and Alvin, in two months, I will get full custody restored."

"You earned it, dear."

"I had plenty of help," she said. She turned and disappeared into the back room. Alvin dug into the shopping bag and pulled out a box of crayons and a coloring book and put them down in front of Hannah.

Jessica came back, pushing a highchair in front of her.

"Hi, Emly!" Hannah shouted. An elderly couple, sipping coffee at the corner table, laughed.

"Inside voice, pumpkin," Alvin said.

Jessica placed the baby's chair at the end of the table.

"Emly, you want to watch me color?" Hannah asked, opening her crayons.

Jessica went to the counter and brought back a large paper bag and a cardboard carrier holding four cups of coffee. "I thought you'd like some cookies for the trip," she told Alvin.

"Thank you, dear." He took the cookies and coffee and set them down on the table. He pulled out the chair across from Hannah and sat down. She was intent on her coloring. He watched her for a minute. Her tongue was protruding from the corner of her mouth in concentration.

"Hey, sweetie," he said, tapping on the table. She looked up at him. She really has her mother's eyes, he thought. Jessica set a plate on the table with a chocolate doughnut, along with a glass of milk.

"What do you say, honey?" Alvin asked.

"Thank you, Jessca."

"Good girl. Now, give Papa a kiss before you get chocolate smeared all over your face."

Hannah puckered her lips, and Alvin leaned across the table and gave her a kiss. "Alright, then, sweetie pie, see you in a couple days. Remember, Mama and Papa love you."

"I love you, Papa."

Alvin said goodbye to Jessica and was halfway to the door when Hannah called out to him.

"Papa! Papa!"

He turned, afraid that she hd become upset at the reality of being left behind. "What is it, honey?"

"Mr. Heffalump!"

"Oh. I'll get him." He went to the car, put the cookies and coffee down on the seat and found the stuffed elephant on the floor. He took it back inside and gave it to Hannah, who squeezed it, then set it down on the chair next to her.

"Now I can be okay," she said, looking up at her father.

He kissed her on the head and left the bakery. He got behind the wheel of the car and sat there for a few minutes before starting the ignition. He just did not want to drive away. What kind of a man would abandon his daughter, he thought as he finally pulled out. He knew that Andy and Jessica would take good care of her, and the rest of the family was close by. He even believed, just a little bit, in the magic protective powers of Mr. Heffalump. But, god damn it, girls needed their daddies.

***

Jennifer drove her SUV up to the old house, then went down to the alpaca barn to talk to Yusef. Mary brought out her suitcase and Alvin's sea bag and was rearranging the luggage in the back of the vehicle when the UPS truck pulled into the driveway. The driver came to a stop and hopped down, carrying two identical packages.

"Hi Joe," Mary called. It still delighted her to live in a town where everyone knew the UPS delivery guy by name.

"Got one for you and Alvin and one addressed to Jennifer and Danielle," he said, handing her the packages.

"Thanks, Joe."

"You going on a trip?"

"Yes, Danni's mother is ill, we are going down to see her."

"I hope it's not serious."

"That's kind of you, but I am afraid it is."

"I'm sorry to hear that. If you get any packages while you're gone, I'll put them in the barn."

"Thanks, Joe." As he went back to his truck, Mary looked at the packages. Books, she thought, from the feel of them. She tucked them into her carry on bag.

She looked up and saw Alvin pulling into the driveway, waving at Joe as they squeezed past each other.

"Hannah all set?" Mary asked as he got out of the truck.

"Yeah, she has her coloring books, her elephant and a chocolate doughnut, all is well in her world."

"Well," Mary sighed, "There will come a day when she really doesn't need us."

No, there won't, Alvin thought.

Danni walked up from the house, carrying Bonita. "You know, you guys don't have to do this," she told Mary and Alvin.

"Who is going to look after Bonita when you and Jen are busy?" Mary asked.

"Well, I appreciate it."

Jennifer and Yusef came around the house. Yusef handed a small Tupperware container to Mary. "My wife made these for your trip. It is sambusas."

"They are like Somali egg rolls, with meat in them," Jennifer said, "They are wicked good."

Yusef turned to Danni. He placed his hand over his heart. "Miss Danielle, for my family and for myself, may Allah make light for your mother and honor her."

"Thank you, Yusef, that is very kind."

"We need to get rolling," Jennifer said. She got behind the wheel of the SUV while Danni put Bonita in her booster seat and got in beside her. Alvin took the front passenger seat and Mary sat behind him.

"I wouldn't worry too much," Alvin told Jennifer as she pulled on to the road, "The way you drive, we will be there in about an hour and a half."

"I don't drive too fast," she replied.

"What are you doing right now?"

She looked at the speedometer. "Forty five."

"The speed limit here is thirty."

"That doesn't mean I'm going too fast, it means the speed limit is too low."

The coffee that Jessica had given Alvin had gotten cold, so they stopped at Dunkin Donuts on the way out of town and got fresh cups. As they turned on to the highway, Mary tried one of the sambusas.

"Wow, these are good," she said, passing them around. As she ate and watched the scenery rolling past, it seemed almost like a festive excursion. But when she turned her head and saw Danni sitting silently and staring at her hands, she was reminded of the reason for their trip.

Bonita stayed occupied flipping through her Dr. Seuss books. Mary picked up a battered copy of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. She opened it and saw Jennifer's name carefully printed in large, childlike letters on the inside cover. She smiled, remembering reading it with her mother when she was a young girl.

As they drove on, Alvin tuned the radio to the Red Sox game. The familiar patterns of the game comforted him. Kids were born and the old folks died, but the Sox kept playing.

The freeway skirted past Yarmouth harbor, and Bonita sat up in her seat and pointed. "Papa! Papa!" she cried, "Look, Papa, boats!"

Alvin looked over his shoulder. "Yes, honey, lots of boats there."

By the time the Sox had put away the last Blue Jay batter, they were south of Boston.

Jennifer had made reservations at the Providence Marriott. Alvin asked if there would be enough time to stop and check in before they went to the hospital.