- Mind Control
- NewU Pt. 23
- Comments
All Comments on 'NewU Pt. 23'
by TheNovalist
- 20 Comments
Nice Story.
One page dedicated to describing all the characters and story will help though.
I hope he goes all hell fury on them all including Evie as she’s obviously a plant.
Dark turns, but I am so invested in this story. I can't let it go. Sooo good. Need more!!!
You've sucked me in with your creative and inventive style. Both this and the Island. Keep it up! Can't wait for the next installment.
I had kinda seen this coming with Evie, knew she ended up being on the other side.
Congratulations to Pete for figuring it out but i seriously wish that Becky and Faye didn’t die. Each of those deaths felt like being kicked in the chest. I am so seriously looking forward to Pete getting the messiest and bloodiest revenge on all those self righteous assholes.
Amazing writing. Great story, great storytelling. I would urge you to remind us of who Evie is and what she means, as it's been a long time since she's been active within the story.
This was really sad in the end. I mean killing Faye off was somewhat ok because we didn't really get invested in her during the short part of meeting her and between duels. But Becky?!?!?!? Man that was just ......... depressing.
Splendid writing as always with a better cliffhanger. Looking forward to more of this series.
hmm i think there is a tiny hope(and yes i do hope) that Becky is not dead. vaporised from what was actually a smallish explosion does not really add up. the explosion would have needed much more force and done a lot more damage to the surroundings to vaporise someone.
really good writing and interesting story though.
I hate this and love it at the same time you cliff hangering author type person. It's brutal yet well written and goes far to advance the story and is wide open for an anti-hero/character developing arc now :) I hope you're enjoying writing this as much as we are reading this. Now show the zealots what "going biblical" actually means.
Feels weird that there was *nothing* he could do. Like telekinetic shield around Becky, with a telekinetic cone to make the bomb blast go away from her? Overall I feel like he hasn't explored his telekinesis powers almost at all, and why hasn't he tried any other superpowers that his gift could give him? And how dense does he have to be to have started a fire in the last chapter in a building that he knows has hostages in it? Love the story so far, but this tragedy here just seems a little forced.
I mean, it's good reading, though steadily becoming less so. By any standard of measure pete is losing, and losing himself in the process. I don't care if he eventually 'beats' the rogue inquisitors if he becomes a haunted wreck of a bloodthirsty killer and half his harem is dead or insane. He'll have lost. I'm not invested in the inquisitors, but I am in his girls/friends, whom you are spending as currency to buy cheap drama.