by Let_The_Tiger_Flow
Looking to be a good story, some holes in the story and character but otherwise no complaints
You have potential for this. Your writing is passable and would only require minimal editing to flow well. Don't be discouraged by the gripes below, I'd say that your reaching towards somewhere in the top 40% of writers.
There are tense shifts here and there. A bigger problem, however comes from the surface level writing going on. It doesn't really engage the senses. Feels like a summary of a story rather than a story at its weakest points.