All Comments on 'The Red Cloud Pack Pt. 03'
by Poisonkitten
- 6 Comments
this is a great story I have enjoyed reading it thank you for writing it and keep writing more
I like the way this story is going, and how it's not Just about Sex. Please write ALL of your stories this way, I know sex is important in stories But it's Not the Only thing that makes a Story Great.
I so wanted to love this story, but the pace is hard to follow and I just can’t get around some of the odder plot points (especially Elizabeth buying most of a stock farm online, and no one from a tribe of hunters having a problem with it? Snickering horse in chapter 1.... artist making a ‘small fortune’ selling all her paintings , etc.)
I think you have a really interesting premise and characters but the details need some refinement to bring this story to its full potential.
Not a fan of this chapter. It's too disney. She accepted there being werewolves way to quickly. That's not something your average person would accept right away. There should've been a denial phase and a lot of discussion. Also, the wolf pack has been around for generations yet they don't have any farming? I doubt that very much. If they're so used to living in isolation then they should be self sufficient. I'll give the next chapter a chance but this one just about lost me.
I have no problem with werewolf packs being structured with pecking order, but real wolf packs are actually family units. Yes, there is the alpha couple - and the there is their offspring (some adults, some pups). Cannot really be compared to the were pack discribed.
Also agreeing to Naiad_Aerial, this is too disney. Made me loose interest.