- Loving Wives
- Trust
- Comments
All Comments on 'Trust'
by demander
- 124 Comments
Work on your endings please. a paragraph ago you were leading we readers toward a group swapping thing
and then we get the "THE END"... a good story until the last page
I've always thought that trust might be more important element than lave in a mature marriage!
5
as always,a winner but I feel the sequel is just out of site. I hope it isn't far off. 5
Sorry, I couldn't get past the first page. It was just so boring. You have to throw in some dialogue, all narrative is boring as hell. You also have to learn the difference between useless extraneous BS and what moves the story along. What did all that BS on the first page have to do with the story, nothing!
Good story, ending spoiled it, realise the swap thing was a device to speed up the ending, but it felt contrived and unrealistic, given the rest of the story, shame
I think Joe and Ann reconciled...
right?
I'm not sure coz after Joe had sex with Ann after their marital hiatus....
it was over for me. Done.
Skipped to the last paragraph.
/
But I do think it was a well-written story.
Mr. demander sure is a fine writer.
Good story, although one can wonder about whether author ever went to a university. The ending was the best part, although I suppose that it could have been extended a bit.
Written with an almost clinical ‘matter-of-fact’ detachment that reminds of the Westlake/Stark ‘Parker’ novels. The ‘noir-ish’ style made the emotional connection even more poignant and profound. I’m glad you gave him/them their bittersweet happy ending. Thank much.
Excellent, well written, decision kept in the balance, my type of ending. 5*
Very good
Interesting characters, some twists and turns, and a happy ending. What more do you need? Thank you
Bacon could always get him. Something like Ann. Bacon and Ann - a perfect duo.
HAHA! This alone is worth ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. I loved the tale up to this point. The placement of the neighbors into the mix was a great touch.
Another tale knocked it out of the park. It earned the Outstanding Read ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating I gave it.
Keep Writing
JH4Fun
This is the best of your stories so far. Not only did you stop her from going over a cliff, and then fully redeem her, you left it somewhat open-ended for their future. You hint that HE may be the one that has to be pulled back from risking it all for a little play time. This is a nice change from the woman relentlessly pushing for affairs/open marriage/swapping, where she persists until she breaks a long term relationship for temporary excitement now. Great job!
He was likely to forgive her all along. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have tipped his hand before she left. If she had gone, there would have been no chance.
The story was good, but the story telling was not up to your usual quality. It felt rushed. I would have liked for it to end in swapping. I think that for Joe it would be a way to spread his emotional eggs into more baskets, in case Ann let him down. If they are swapping, it also diminishes the value Joe has invested in Ann's fidelity. If she lets him down, there is less to lose.
The story was good, and I loved the premise. A very welcome deviation from the usual formulatic submissions in this category.
The way you told it, however, made it a little hard for me to get into it. It was all so... emotionless. I kept imagining some dude telling me this story, while a powerpoint presentation with still images was projected onto a wall behind him. Way too factual and logical.
Both seemed to be somewhat autistic the way this is told,esp Anne. Even when she is expressing emotion she seems to be cut off from them, like someone trying to describe emotion without feeling it. It is why she could so easily plot w James.
One of your better stories when considered in total. Lots of plot lines intertwined, subtle foreshadowing and a nice twist at the end that brought it all together. 5*
What about his sister? He earns good money and doesn't chase her down? What an asshole.
with, I hope, the tolerance of the author,
To suggest Conversations 20, by SleeperyJim.
Actually, I like quite a lot of his stuff. And in 20, it was easy to get into the guys head.
Green-something
Her love and the. need to stay with Joe outweighed the desire to swap. He saw that as a reflection of her mindset to stay true.
I'm glad that the group swapping at the end was "just a test" for Ann. If it had actually occurred, I'm sure that divorce was definitely in their future and I'd have given this story a very bad rating. The ending could've been better. It felt rushed and too short. Overall, not a bad story. 4*
Nice. It’s a breath of fresh air when an author puts in the effort to craft a nuanced tale and resist the urge to wallow in wish fulfillment infantilism.
When the BTB scumbags start laying into you, just remember that pissing off terrible people is a point of pride.
Quite a good Femdom agitprop story, but with a weak and implausible HEA. Still, a good read.
It is the nature of all human relationships that there are secrets--some large, some infinitesimal. We all like the idea of "what if...", as our imaginations can always conjure up variations on a theme.
The underlying idea of this story (as stated upfront) is trust. As written, that underlying idea was explored from the viewpoint of one man's lifetime experience with the world, and with his wife in particular--(although the circumstances which led to him having the later life that he had rested squarely upon the shoulders of the mathematician who picked him up and gave it to him).
(A quibble: Why was there no mention of that professor at any point later in the story and WHY was he never cited as a counterweight to the mistrust Joe had for everyone, including his wife Ann? It would seem he would loom large in Joe's psyche.)
That Joe and Ann (the MC's) would most certainly have "issues" as their life together continued is a given, since all couples do even when the over-riding Gorilla of marital fidelity is missing--there are an infinite number of possibilities in a lifetime's bonded mating that there will always be "something" that needs to be talked about. But that's what COMMUNICATION facilitates--and, as written, Joe and Ann seem (at this point) to have absolutely arrived at an understanding of its absolute necessity.
I liked this story; no, I LOVED this story. It dealt with hard facts about life and love and did so without shying away from the potential destruction if the wrong decision is made--at any given moment. It contemplated infidelity but had the potential cheater step back when faced with the catastrophic consequences of the act. It posited two lives whose future hung in the balance and gave hope that that bleak landscape would never have to be lived in. The ending was perfect, leaving the couple (and the reader) with the knowledge that THIS relationship--whatever its future crises (and there would be others)--would deal with it together.
One of the best scenarios I have seen written about on Literotica, and so well written that I never once had to re-interpret what I'd read because of some error in syntax or meaning or spelling--it was always clear.
Well done. VERY well done. 10 out of 10. More please.
MLJ
Good plot started with 5* but ended with 2*, ruined by the swapping shit totally incoherent with the MC profile and all the previous events.
It was difficult to “root” for Joe. He was so conflicted and unable to truly give himself up to anyone.
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Which made what Ann did so utterly risky and stupid. She KNEW what he was like.
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Interesting conclusion to have a couple swinger couples approach them to “play”, and use that invitation to get Ann to be able to show Joe that accepting would end THEM…and in her telling Joe that they should not do it, allowing him to finally manage to trust Ann — to “take that chance”. Nice job with the ending, given the premises of the rest of the story.
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4 strong ****
why even mention the kids by name, they never saw the day of light in this ramblings. Other then to mention them, they really were not necessary as part of the story. Who cares they went to college?????????
This is really a non-story and not realistic at all.
Hi. Well written, thank you. The pedantic side of me questioned some fine details: Two years for a Degree? An extra 2 to get a Phd? Was this at a Mickey Mouse College? For FULL degrees it is normally 4 years, with an extra 1 or 2 for a Masters. Then an additional 4 or so to complete a Phd. Meaning around 8/9 years of full time study to get a Doctorate. Just saying... (Yes, I'm aware that often the US bestows a "Degree" on a Two year course that the rest of the world would call a Diploma)
Well done, a very enjoyable read. A realistic exploration of Joe’s psyche, though more on Ann and her inner coldness would have been good to know. I think the ending was a bit unearned, however. A man as damaged and traumatized by life as Joe would be very likely to have extreme difficulty recovering from a betrayal like this; it would take more than a few weeks and a ton of sex for him to get over it. And Ann would need to examine her inner motivations which allowed he to so calculatedly decide to betray Joe. And I think the temptations offered by their swapping neighbors could have been explored a lot more, particularly as to how joining them would have impacted Joe & Ann’s marriage, All in all, a well done effort, with very good writing and a high level of adult emotional sophistication. Maybe a Part 2, hopefully?
I like the story, and was at a 4, but it is better than a 4, but not quite a 5. Why? only because while I was engaged in the characters, I didn’t have much feeling for either of them. But the writing is too good for a 4, so a 5 it is.
What an interesting couple and story. Perhaps there is someone for every person. Just finding them is the problem. 5*.
As usual a demander story that starts out pretty good then goes tits up and hurling into the abyss.
Demander can be a good author at times but this read like a tale about a relationship between a vacuum cleaner and a floor buffer with all of the emotion that implies. She felt old 'like mouldy bread' but in reality 'she was still an attractive woman, even at forty four'. Why would she not be? We don't live in medieval times when any woman who lived that long was a toothless hag. James certainly didn't seem to think that he would kick her out of bed, so where did that nonsense come from? The KO blow for a story that was already struggling was that asinine scene with the neighbours in which Joe did a complete U turn on his hitherto rather conservative attitude to sex and relationships. Sorry but not one of your better works, D.
Was ok I'm glad they stayed together but again nothing happened to other male. He should have had to pay price and didn't. It feel rushed but I don't get the swapping part at the end.
A very rough but mostly good story.
While I understand your reasoning behind the scene with the neighbors, it didn't fit with the character of Joe we saw in the story up to that point. For one thing, he would have seen the neighbors using night vision to spy on them as another betrayal. Had the neighbors been able to see what they were doing due to light coming through the patio doors it would have been their own fault, but using night vision is a deliberate violation. For another, as somebody who has been given the short shaft when conditions changed, he never would have even considered allowing additional players into their relationship. As written, he didn't object to James because it was one sided or even because she tried to keep it secret. The reasons he objected to James would apply to swinging just the same and thus his response as written doesn't work.
A good story - about two basically cold people finding love with each other. Well-drawn characters (him more than her). Deserves more than current avg. score (effect of BTB crowd?).
Enjoyed the story, thought it was well written. If Joe, always kept watch on Ann how did it get to the point of what she did? Thanks for writing 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
That was a well written and interesting story. But it seems incomplete. I hope you continue it. Thanks for posting.
Four stars. The premise was good, but the story telling was stilted
It leaned toward three stars, but I nudged it to four.
JPB
Was a 5* ended a 3*... never got the kids involved either.
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After +25yrs of marriage Joe never sought a shrink to overcome his phobia, shame.
You shorted the ending, but otherwise it was well-written and a good read. Thanks for sharing.
Hooked
Brilliant. I thought 3* after the swapping scene but really liked the ending. 5*.
It was an enjoyable story about trust and what happens once it is broken. 5*
It was a pretty good effort to sell a reconciliation. One of the few I didn't completely hate on this site. Not really my kind of story, but it was thought out and executed well; and the ending was a bit of an unexpected twist.
I gave it 4 stars (3.5 but decided to be nice and round up); first because the story didn't actually address the very valid points the story itself raised. She'd feel smothered sooner or later; and he is setting himself up for pain because she didn't care about his pain before, so eventually the uber-smart woman would decide she can get away with it.
I was reading the script to the movie " Good Will hunting. " 1\2 star.
I liked it a lot - 5*****! Ignore the critics who wouldn't know an adult relationship if they were dropped into one. I was afraid the author would take this into a swap and the story would degenerate into just another wankfest, but the author had the guts to play it right and focus on saving the fragile marriage. Excellent effort.
Shocked and surprised- a Demander story which didn't end in a mad orgy of everyone involved. Congratulations, enjoyable read, and I'll admit to a chance I was wrong on Demander.
You made her just barely salvageable, although not feeling any remorse until AFTER she got caught did not help her case any. If she had felt guilt about her plans to fuck James, called them off and then confessed to Joe and begged his forgiveness i would have been more excited about the ending. I wish you had explained a little better about why she was cheating, and she was cheating even though she didn't actually fuck James. Not fucking James kept her salvageable, but I thought Joe caved pretty easily. Without knowing why she cheated in the first place it is impossible to evaluate the wisdom of Joe's decision but my fingers are crossed for him......
I wouldn’t be surprised if Joe asked the 2 couples to proposition them, as a test of Ann’s loyalty. It’s a little cold, emotionless, I expected a more visceral reaction from Joe. Nonetheless it’s quite good.
Good story. Both of the main characters are a little strange Joe needs to take off from this situation.
Ann kept Joe around for a little while longer by telling him what he wanted to hear. What's changed? Absolutely nothing. They should both have trusted their first instincts and ended it. Having sex all over the house and outdoors will eventually get old. The only thing they will have accomplished is to have delayed the inevitable. When trust is gone so is the basis for a partnership. 5 stars for a story well told.
"Thing is, though, you're just like all the rest."
Yup, they all are. They all relate to males as potential system maintainers. Transportation, domicile, sex, income, child care, family. All are systems that they need maintained. They say that it was sex, not love, and that they only love you. You ask 'em why and they say they don't know. They say that it was all separate from you. And it is to the extent that the systems can be separate. They are separate, but all braided together for the sole purpose of supporting her. Hubbies can maintain several systems simultaneously, but can be replaced when they flag or when a better option presents itself. To her, all men are interchangeable. She is the only absolute at the center of the universe...everyone's universe. The love thing can make it appear differently, but it always fades. It's not good or bad, it's just the way it is.
Great story but an epilogue of, oh, ten years later, would have been magnificent.
Great story, l enjoyed it and liked it a lot. You normally write good stories, a hiccup here and there sure. But you are definitely improving in your storytelling.
I score this effort of yours 5/5, lMHO it’s one of your best because of the intriguing characters you created.
Well done!!
More like this please.
Nope, sorry couldn’t get through it. Way, way too much irrelevant detail in a way too long intro.
Enjoyed the story & liked the reconciliation. She admitted her mistake & the husband, I suppose after a while, would forgive her. However, I thought the buildup (his history) was a bit much, as in too long. Good to have that read, but after a time.... 4 stars Bob
I’m sorry, but anyone who thinks that was a well written and constructed story needs to go take a high school creative writing course. The writing was boring, simplistic, and uneven. The dialogue was childlike and scattered. The other barely touched on important emotions but spent excruciating detail on superfluous information to serve as dull filler for a confusing plot.
Too much narration.
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I have no problem with the ending - they decided not to swap, and that they were better together.
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I thought they'd go for the swapping, a way to get outside sex without going outside the marriage.
Another great story from a great storyteller. I like your stories because they are different. They take you into another verse, not the usual here. Thanks for the tale.
Ann decided to become a betraying slut because she thought she could get away with it. Ann refrained from becoming a betraying slut ONLY because she got caught. This woman demonstrates great survival instincts, but no morals, no ethics, no virtue. She is full of regret and remorse only because her husband now understands her lack of character and substance. The only bond between them is their sexual attraction. Their children are just props, collateral products of regular fucking. Any real family would be discussing this situation as a family; they are not a family.
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Their marriage is over because Ann revealed that it never really was a true marriage. She got the hots for another guy, so was going to fuck him. Now she's got the hots for her neighbors, and is cautious about fucking them ONLY because it might disrupt what she hopes is a very slight chance to hang on to the man she wants to keep in the husband role. So what happens when that changes?
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Joe has been living with a time bomb since he married Ann. And she's still a time bomb. If another man comes into Ann's life that offers more than what she has with Joe she will abandon Joe like the Titanic. No loyalty, no commitment, no personal integrity. And she'll blame Joe, for never trusting her or forgiving her. She'll tell him that he's better off without her, blah, blah, blah, as she walks out the door to her presumed better life. And Joe will deserve all the shit she dumps on him if he stays with this selfish greedy bitch. Write that sequel.
I think the story makes more sense if both might be atypical. Well written, an interesting idea, like most I have read from you.
A lot of back-story isn't needed, especially in Lit (you're not expected to be considered a writer of literature, are you?).
Yes, ending was a bit rushed. But the temptation of swapping was an effective device.
Thanks. I enjoy reading your stories.
Pair of mental defectives, yet meant for each other.
Thanks for something different.
I wonder how their kids and their outlooks.
Kinda real as everyone through their lives get opportunities, especially women. It’s to keep your loyalty to your spouse . The flirt keeps people happy and know that someone else wants to fuck them but never lose your way and break your vows. It’s the emotional cheating that is real and should never let to happen. I don’t believe in male and female friendships evolving at work to the point of lunch every day and venting about life or in this case husband. That’s when the guy will know the cracks and go for the kill. The male / female relationships should be kept at arm’s length when married or in a serious relationship. The only thing left out here was the guy got off easy. For me a simple rule is when I was single that never try to seduce another’s wife because even though guys will try to do it to you it’s bad carma
Interesting twist at the end.
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In Joe and Ann, you wrote about two people who were like magnets. Facing correctly, they powerfully attract; facing the opposite, they repel with the same force. Both were damaged in their own ways, yet they adapted.
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In the end, therapy for both and a post-nuptial from Ann, which essentially goes scorched earth on herself if she cheats will surely cement the rift she opened with James.
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Very well done, especially at avoiding the cliché, which is the main plot device on this site!
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To "muskyboy:" understand that the inner conflict she felt beforehand is suppressed remorse. The essential strength and weakness in we fallible humans is our ability to feel both of the aforementioned and learn from them. Yeah, she messed up, but in the end, she did the right thing, albeit with help from Joe, but her remorse was real, which makes all the difference.
I liked the ending. Kinda like a stress test that resolved his issues and her fears, more or less. well done. 5 stars
Many comments seem based on the belief the offer to swap has been rejected. That is not true. It is far from certain that Joe and Ann will not have sex with their swinger neighbors. Condoned extramarital sex might reduce Joe's fear of betrayal considerably. If he can embrace swapping and accept that his wife's body is no longer solely his to enjoy, he would have less to fear with respect to Ann cheating in the future. Of course, that decrease in anxiety would come at the cost of his wife being less special to him, but she has already let that horse permanently depart the barn whether they swap or not.
Interesting characters and story. The ending left me somewhat unsatisfied, and I'm not sure why. It wasn't the question of will they swing or won't they; Joe and Ann just don't seem emotionally resolved. To this reader, anyhow.
I liked that they didn't start swapping at the end. Very well written. Keep it up.
The telling was a little to metronome to/for me. However still readable and did hold my short attention span! Only issue is after developing two strong leads who exhibit strength of decision and action they fall short of their conviction settling into twilight zone union, hinting at it still failing sooner than later. oh well lots of stars still. Thanks
A difficult one to score.
Rather unbelievable early life, but interesting plot, so a 4 for me.
I gave it five stars because I think I understood the characters. Having them both be slightly emotionally aloof helps in this format.
I think some counseling (both marital and personal) would be ideal just to get both characters to the right frame of mind to continue. Overall, good effort on the story.
I liked it, but wanted to give it 4.5 stars. Instead I gave it 5 stars. I felt that the couple still had unresolved issues that they needed to work out before joining a swinger group. They were good for each other, before she decided to be selfish.
Why do some commenters think this means they will swap? It was a larger scale re-enactment of what she was trying with James. Now both are tempted. He asked to answer honestly. She said no. He asked why. She told hi they could lose what they have. He trusted her answer enough to give her another chance. He knew now that if was tempted again she would fear losing Joe. That us why he is willing to risk his life and love with her again. It is pretty obvious. So why then do some readers think it is open ended with they might swap with the neighbors?
Jeez... no one seems to realize that it was a test... Joe probably set it up to see what and how Ann would react... she passed... storyline was decent but the writing was quite stilted and jerky... it needed a better flow. 4⭐s.