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Click hereI had heard the shower running for quite a while, and then silence. Finally, Edie's footsteps sounded as she slowly came down the stairs and into the kitchen. She avoided my eyes as she circled the table, finally sitting down in the chair across from me.
I watched her, saying nothing, keeping my face neutral—I think.
Without raising her eyes from the table she said, "I'm so sorry, baby."
I waited, figuring there would be more, but she kept silent for a long long time. Then, finally, "aren't you going to say anything?"
"What do you want me to say, Edie? 'Guess the surprise didn't work out all that well'?"
She started to cry. "Why don't you shout at me? Why don't you curse, and throw things, and tell me what a cheating cunt I am and how badly I've hurt you? Why don't you throw me on the table and spank my cheating ass until it's bright red?"
"What would be the point?" I asked. "Would that make it hurt any less? Would that take away the sight of you on the bed, our marital bed, with two cocks shoved up you? Would it make me less of a cuckold, or you less of a whore?"
She shook her head, and just cried harder. I wanted to make sure this was the one and only time we went through this, so I just waited.
It took nearly twenty minutes before her weeping dried up; by then I had finished my beer and begun another.
"This wasn't the first time," she finally said.
"I could see that."
"I don't know why I started. I've never been as happy with anyone, or as in love with anyone, as I am with you. You're the only man who has ever made me feel totally understood, totally loved and totally safe.
"And it certainly wasn't because our sex-life isn't good enough. I love the way you make love to me, and it's just gotten better and better over the years.
"It's just...I don't know. I went out to a club with Bonnie once, when you were away..."
"Stop, Edie. Just stop. I don't want to hear how it began, or when, or with whom. It doesn't matter.
"But I would like to know why you kept doing it—why you felt it was all right, to fuck other men behind our back, to do gang-bangs with two guys at once, to screw them in the bed where you and I sleep together..."
"STOP, Jerry," she cried at me. "I don't know, I don't know! I never thought it was all right! I knew it was terrible, it was disgusting, and half the time I loathed myself. But I loved doing it.
"The sex was never as good as what you and I had. But the secrecy and the cheating—and the dirtiness of doing it with strangers—made me incredibly hot.
"I could lie to you, and tell you that I thought it would be okay as long as you never found out, that what you didn't know would never hurt you. But I knew that was bullshit. I knew that it was wrong—and I knew that I would have felt totally destroyed if I found out you had cheated on me.
"I just couldn't stop, OK?" By now she was sobbing again. "I hated doing it, but I loved doing it too, and I couldn't stop."
She cried for a while again, while I finished the second beer. I was hurting too, but it felt cold and empty now. Distant. I was ready to be gone.
When there was silence in the room I said, "I'm going to divorce you, Edie. I'm keeping the house—I want you out by tomorrow."
She looked at me imploringly. "Baby, is there...is there any chance you...."
"None. None, none, none. Not any. Zero."
I stood up. "I'm going to spend a couple of days in a hotel. I'd like you and all your stuff out of here by Friday."
I walked out of the room without looking back.
***************
That night in the hotel room I wrote Edie a letter, telling her how long I'd known about her whoring around, how I'd gotten revenge on Marvin, Joe, and Harry, and how I'd set her up. I figured I'd send it to her after the divorce, so she'd know that I played her for a fool just like she played me for one.
In the end, though, I never sent it. The divorce took five months, and I didn't see her or speak to her again, though she called several times asking me to get together.
Once the divorce was done I thought, what's the point? She lost the man she most loved in the world, and she did it through her own stupidity. She's in plenty of pain.
And by then I was dating Shelley, and I was a lot happier. It just didn't seem to matter so much anymore.
- COMMENTS
Ehy stop her from explaining after saying he wanted to hear how this happened? More names to gather and karma to dish out
"I reacted pretty much like any other red-blooded heterosexual man would do."
Uhh, no he did not.
This is a plausible ending, but it misses one important point from the original story:
"She [Evie] hung up the phone, got off the bed and headed for the closet [where Jerry was hiding], but at the last second she turned and went into the bathroom."
This is at least a strong indication that Evie knows Jerry watched her have sex for two hours and did nothing to stop her. She should use this.
How on earth could he have continued to have sex with her knowing the strong possibility of an STD. otherwise 5+
the surprise birthday party for all the family was good, novel. rest was sort of standard story.
Personally, I think revenge of the sort he exacted and the time involved required too much effort on his part. If he really wanted revenge, he could have set her up with the IRS and the three major credit rating agencies. Total time required about 30 minutes to an hour.
I would not remotely have his patience. No need to burn them all. Get a divorce and move on. She is a deranged slut.
Ick. Divorce her. Take video and send it to everyone you and she knows. But why all the waiting and the felonies. Why the setup?
Stupid ending to what was a pathetic story to start with. Why bother? He was going to confess to how many felonies he committed? Brilliant!
Do what I did send pictures to her Whole family . Her Dad who I hated asked if i couldn't take her back .. I just started laughing at that statement . I then asked if He would put up with his wife being the town pump and everyone laughing behind his back . He said No and I said tell her to quit fighting the Divorce or I will have the Video on a porn site .
One of the better BTB stories. Not vindictive enough for the hardcore mysoginists but all the better for being touched with a little honesty and restraint.
LA
Edie could use his letter against him by giving it to the police. He was an idiot!
OK ending to a dumb story by JPB. But more revenge is necessary . He should be keeping at least generally aware of any new relationships she starts to have and then contacting and warning every single one of the new men of what she has done and will undoubtedly continue to do. It's the right thing to do, lol.
P.S. I don't believe that there are many, if any, women who are as big a sluts as "Edie"
Always in cash and NEVER in WRITING!
I cannot fathom being so calculating as to wait several months.
The jerkin off while watching was disgusting.
Last, most previous commenter: Why do you keep reading his stories?
Great BTB ending to "Just Plain Bob's" story What to do about Edie. Very creative. 5 stars
You Know
Maybe the cunt should have died in the end. This is fiction, isn't it? That would have made a great final to do. I hate cheating cunts.
He would have been crazy to send the letter since those 3 guys would have been working out some ways to get revenge on him.
Nice but I thought you would throw this back in her face: and what kind of woman who loved her husband would hop in bed with another man behind his back?"
It was powerfully good. And that's some original and creative revenge.
Nice finish to a great story - liked you both before, together you compliment each other. Thank you for your story!
Better than the original, but still not much revenge. He should have at least told the realtors 's wife.
I can't give you a reason to hate this Story?...So I'll just say I like it..5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
It has been way over 6 months, its been over 6 years, its been over 13 years, and still no stories from you here at lit.
I was looking forward to a story from a REAL author. lol
Excellent alternate ending. Well written with plausible plot elements regarding the revenge elements.
"Who the fuck is Shelley?"
His new girlfriend - don't you read for comprehension?
Never confess to crimes in writing. Seriously not a good idea.
Elaborate revenge is sometimes entertaining, but not in this case. Hubbies reaction to Edie's poolside and bedroom performance called for personal confrontation between husband and wife, not schemes and dreams.
That final nail in the coffin was missed and took away a star.
4/5
You had a 5* right up until the end! You couldn’t stick the landing. Lol. Still a 100 times better than the original.
Ohio,
I really enjoyed the way your character got revenge on the cheating males. I think a little more pain (mental or physical) is called for for Edie!!! Great job. BTB!!!
Someone tries to do a sequel or continue someone else's story it just doesn't measure up. You gave it the old college try but this one is a fail.
Any guy that would do what you say if he did it should’ve been shot. This was the most cuckolded way of getting out of any marriage. Revenge is only revenge if the person knows you were getting revenge on them
This Edie confession doesn't feel like the one from the original story.
2 starrs
I always appreciate a good BTB story, as long they are not weird and totaly unrealistic, which this one is
next time try harder
At least Marvin, eventually, got an inkling was A revenge for SOMETHING. Did he ever figure it out? Eh?
But Joe MIGHT have had some troubling “feelings”? Really? That’s enough? If Harry had leaned over after everyone had left and whispered, “That’s for Edie, fucker.” That would be revenge.
If the email to Marvin said, “Alice never cheated on you. But I know you did.” That would be vaguely revengeful.
If a call to Jerry had said,”Man, I’m sorry to hear ‘bout the job. That’s pretty fucked up. Kinda’ like our friendship.” Again, a little vagueish, but enough of a hint that it was on purpose, hence revenge.
I suppose Dan wasn’t a friend, so he didn’t “cheat” on their friendship, but still... Jerry might have got video of he and Edie in bed, and informed Dan’s wife. “You don’t fuck with married women. Even if they’re willng, if you do, don’t be surprised if there are consequences.”
Edie? Well, she could have got it worse. Like others said, video on the internet, etc. (But please. Call the police and prostitution accusation?). But having all the most important people in her life know she.’s a slut, and better yet, saw she was a slut... that’s pretty good revenge.
Also, overall this felt like a rushed job. The dialog is just so-so, and the scenes and scene set ups were just lacking compared to the other OHIO stories. I can only give it 2-stars. Though, if you were trying to emulate JPB’s writing style... still, JPB can, usually, write better than this.
Let's be frank: Just Plain Bob's intro for this story was as plain, predictable and overall wonky as you can get from a LW story. If there's one thing that seriously annoyed me in the original chapter, it's JPB added in that Jerry actually ejaculated while watching Edie cuckolding him. I could understand him being turned on by her disloyalty, but not him cumming... without even touching himself! It's something that ohio never truly raised - he just made it clear that his protagonist acknowledged getting horny watching his cheating wife in action - and I'm very thankful for it.
You also have to admire ohio's imaginations on his BTBastards' schemes - from Joe to Marvin to Harry, the ways Jerry got his pounds of fleshes were truly marvelous. And how he got rid of Edie is pretty much textbook of how to close a relationship with an unfaithful partner who claimed to love you. Just once, though, I wish the protagonist parting words to the cheater would be in a ballpark of:
"If you think to ever remarry again, either have the decency to get hitch to a complete bastard, so you can justifiably cuckold him all you want, or seek psychiatric help, so you don't, once again, emotionally destroy a poor simp who sole mistake was to allow himself to love you unconditionally... At this point, 'best for you to not get married at all."
I've never seen any writer use such final shots to end a marriage, but, in most cases, especially in stories like this one, where the wife have no idea why she betrayed so thoroughly a husband she claimed to completely be in love with... such a statement seems appropriate.
A pretty nice finish, overcoming an undeniably rocky start.
"I hated doing it, but I loved doing it too, and I couldn't stop." - Then she asks if there's any chance? She's admitting that she can't stop!
Better that he didn't send it. It had his confession to the assault!
Why did he wait so long for such an unsatisfactory revenge? Beats me.
Well if it weren't for great stories from the past to fall back on during crappy days like today in Lit. what would all of us do ?
I was glad that Ohio finished up the completely unsatisfying JPB story . You did it very well.
Hate that you're not posting anymore . One could have a great " career " finishing JPB stories . I like a lot of his works , but his habit of leaving a story open ended is infuriating at times.
5 *'s
I've read all your stories mate and they're great but this one seems very rushed
I forgot that all your stories are about psychotic assholes. What a waste of time.
“I've never been as happy with anyone, or as in love with anyone, as I am with you.” – That’s such TOTAL bullshit! Happy wives who are in love with their husbands don’t do gang bangs over and over!
I would have sent her the letter! What better revenge than for her to know that he was so disgusted by her that he set her up to be humiliated and shamed in front of their families!
what i allways find odd in these storys is that the husbands allways have someone lined up after the divorce,they should be so lucky because in my experience and what i know from friends and relatives this is BS,you don't stop asking yourself the same questions over and over again and starting over with someone else just after the divorce isn't really a nice thing to do to the other person,trust will be a very big issue and these relationships never really go well or for long
he never sent it so what are you jabbering about?
Like the way you closed it out. The last conversation. Well played.
You write a btb story so lame that the husband writes a letter incriminating himself in who knows how many felonies. What a load of shit.
Your finish was so much better than Bob's start! I am reading your stories alphabetically with only two to go.....I do hope you will start writing again.
The letter was a weak moment from his part...No need to send it...But the fiction name he has to send emails should have served to send some more....
A vengeance story just for the sake of vengeance? Not really your style... You can do so much better.
He never sent the letter, probably his common sense nudged him away from sending it.
So unless he kept it and his home was searched there was no self incrimination.
When you assault someone and commit cybercrimes, you don't send written confessions to a cheating skank you're divorcing.
Why would he send the letter and give her closure, let her wonder for the rest of her life.
Great sequel. My one problem is the very end. He should have sent the letter. Let her know how much he really knew. She was a fucking cheating cunt. She didn't deserve any consideration. Still a great tale.
couldn't have done a better job. TK U MLJ LV NV
Not as bad as some commenter's make out and hubby still has his revenge to a degree by outing sweetie as a cheating skank to her entire family. I do think hubby should of sent the letter after the divorce and the realtor and every other married guy's wives should of been informed about their husbands activities.
He should have told the Realtor's wife about it too, though. No deals with Assholes.
A VERY well played Nuclear Strike on Wifey with some precision work done on all the Assholes first. Outstanding! Ohio, I knew you had it in you, and it was done with just enough JPB style twistedness to make this one a hell of a lot of fun!
5 HUGE Stars.
The wife in this story is somewhat mentally ill or challenged. Getting revenge on someone in this state of mind can not help you overcome your sadness in the failed relationship. As drbeamer3333 espoused "living well is the best revenge". I think getting as far removed and away from Edie is the most important aspect to increased standard of living. Edie was a cancer to the poor husband's being. The story was well written and thought provoking. Edie wasn't evil just sick.
The best kind of revenge is a life lived well. And she doesn't get to be a part of it. I think the dissatisfaction on the part of some of the readers has to do with the fact that the wife will probably find several dicks to fill the emptiness in her life. She will go on just as he had been. So will she truly suffer? I think a continuation of the story would be great, highlighting her empty pursuit of fulfillment until she truly ends up suffering as a result of her own behavior.
Ah yes, Ohio must be a weak-spined wimpy person because the husband in the story
didn't do something drastic enough to go to jail for a few years; which would of course be oh so smart.
This coming from someone so cowardly he dishes out personal cheap shots while hiding behind his "anonymous" curtain. What a weasel.
What authors write reflect on their life. It is quite obvious that Ohio is a weak spine wimpy person who has no backbone.
If you're going to write sad sack stories at least make an effort to make them plausible. He wants revenge on the wife? When he divorces her he's going to have to sell the house and then split the assets 50/50. He's not kicking her out, so where's the revenge on her? Sure he embarrassed her, but that won't last long. Just another man screwed by a slut that he had to PAY for her cheating.
it's wimpy, when he gets revenge, it sounds like something a high schooler would do. Also who would give a fuck about what kind of pain she is in. Ohio is a very talented writer but has no idea of what a bitter man would think like.
mentally and physically.....TK U MLJ LV NV
Is that you, hiding behind an anon name, DWMoron?
Meh... your wrap-up made me all teary. Not.
Whatever. What you wrote sounds like the drivellings of one of the more alpha-type lesbians you see around.
If you are male, then maybe you wanna be an alpha-type lesbian.
Woohoo!!! Flame Wars!!!
I was arrested the next day on Highway 10, after a vain attempt to run. I'd had a sleepless night, cold and lonely, drunk as a skunk in the truck. I was still drunk when they caught me and I made a pathetic attempt at resisting arrest. As the billy clubs came down I heard two or three voices grunting things like ''pervert" or "nonce" and one distinct snarl of "could have been our mother or sister" before the light faded to black.
I awoke in shock, not sure where I was, in incredible pain and a mouth filled with dry blood. My teeth were gone. As the room came into slow focus i saw I was faced by two of the ugliest, meanest looking mothafuckas it had ever been my misfortune to meet. The cold bars behind them told me where I was, and my feeble scream rose and died in an attempt to call for help.
"No help here boy" said one bubba, undoing the belt of his jeans, "just a world of pain until you draw your last breath, which won't be too long in coming. And you'll be glad when it does...." etc.
I'll post it here instead... My brilliant conclusion to JPB's story, sort of at his invitation...
I didn't really jerk off when I watched her, I just told you that to be funny. What real man would even get hard watching his wife betray his trust?
Anyway, that night, I waited till she fell asleep, then I got a full tube of superglue, opened it, and shoved the tip in her spadge. Funny, she didn't even stir. I think it's because of how over-used she is. ...Then I just squeezed til it was empty.
Then I walked out the door and got in my truck. Stupid fucking whore.
readers can add and visualise more or less. TK U MLJ LV NV
He has never said that he believed in reconciliation at all cost. The really good writers on Literotica write where the story leads them. Sometimes, that results in reconciliation, sometimes in revenge. A handful of readers are all-or-nothing fools. A writer can have a 100 revenge stories but as soon as he writes a single reconciliation story, they go crazy.
Fortunately, the good writers (and the good readers) don't give a shit about the juvenile feelings of such short-dicked white trash losers. They just keep writing good stories.
Whatever, happened to reconciliation at any cost?
Women like this arent worth knowing much less marrying
Not sure why you bothered with this. JPB's story was crap, so anything that might have come from it would have been crap, too. This is the worst "Ohio" story I have read. But keep trying; most of your stories are good.
utterly out of step with reality you really are. Do try to mature.
Amazed at the extent and detail of Alvaron's venom. It was a great revenge story, which incidentally reveals the destructive consequences of cheating. Alveron's attitude is one of: "Awwwww, no big deal!"
That was well done much better than JPBs it served the snake right to get some of her own medicine thrown in her face the spelling was well done also.
Every place I wrote ‘poetic’ I should have written ‘poetics’ as in the theory of literature (most famous: Aristotle’s “Poetics”). The rest of my argument remains unchanged, including my critique of your arguments on the so called limitations on the narrator and your view on presentations of Illegal violence. But no connection to Poetry.
Regarding your suggestion that I have gaps in my knowledge, I could not agree with you more. It’s just overwhelming to realize how much I don’t know. But to be more specific, I admit that I have not kept my note books from my courses in Literature, but I am still willing to take you to task. Where did you get the norm that an all knowing narrator is bound by some code of conduct to provide full disclosure of all relevant facts (what is ‘full’ and what is ‘relevant’) so as not to mislead the readers?
A hint: Don’t look too hard because most “rules” now days tend to be descriptive rather than normative. But I am ready to complete my education with your help.
Kolkore doesn't appear to understand the difference between prose and poetry. My literary critique of Harddaysknight's story was dead on but Kolkore apparently doesn't understand the nuances of a story's point of view. Here's a suggestion: stop flailing away at your keyboard for an hour or so and go learn something by reading a book on basic principles of writing fiction.
As to my criticism of this particular story, I don't dispute ohio's right to write stories as he wishes. He is, in fact, one of my favorite authors on Literotica. I find this particular story of his objectionable because it describes criminal acts in which the perpetrator sadistically plans and executes his schemes while artfully evading society's system of justice. It plays to an audience that revels in proving their manhood with their machismo. If the exploits portrayed in this story entertain you, I can only shake my head in amazement.
I believe in the rule of law because without it, all bets are off and anything goes. I do not believe in censorship; authors should be free to write stories as they see fit. Just as I am free to criticise them. Just as you are free to criticise me.
The real hoot from my nickel seat in the stands is that my most vocal critics (Harry, raise your hand ;) label me a wimp lover along with ohio and the_Troubador. If they only knew.
Kolkore, I respect your right to disagree with me and I hope you have a nice day.
That is, if we follow the recent poetic ruling of the reader Alvaron53. Just recently I was mystified by comments made by the reader Alvaron53 in the story: “RUN FOR YOUR LIFE”. There I was introduced to the reader’s poetic rule that an all knowing narrator can not manipulate readers, even by omission of facts (Never mind if the rule patently contradict main body of literature from the 19th century and on). This time I encountered what seems to be, his similarly idiosyncratic – yet presented as universal poetic rule number two. According to this rule, describing illegal acts without condemning them makes for badly written story! I don’t think that much worthy literature will remain after passing this addition to reader Alvaron’s poetic rules (including biblical literature).
This story was a fantastic homing device to JPB’s spacy stories. Where you are left with a sense of disconnectedness from common experience and with a feeling of cold play with people’s lives, here a savvy writer takes the story back to earth - to the human sphere, with consequences and with real emotions. Some may be legal some may not, but you can identify the marking of real emotions. Which is a major leap forward compare to the baseline.
"That's why I dislike this story because it suggests that criminal activity is excusable if you think you're justified."
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
It's a story. Specifically, it's a FICTION story. It doesn't suggest anything from a moral viewpoint. Where did you get the idea that this website was for people to write stories that teach us lessons? At best, it suggests that this kind of thing is the kind of thing that happens in the world. Except not even, because it's FICTION. And damn good fiction. It evokes emotion, keeps your attention, and was worth the read. Your zero score is ridiculous.
Bishop, my lad, it's a free country (well, sort of since G.W. seized power) so your request for me to shut the fuck up is hereby denied.
My contract with my publisher doesn't permit me to publish my stories elsewhere until they've been up on their website for six months. I shall be happy to post here when that time has passed. I doubt that you'll enjoy them but hey, who knows? Stranger things have happened.
As to your suggestion that "you KNOW how revenge should be", I must confess that I do not. History is replete with examples of revenge. How about we re-institute stoning for adultery? That was deemed a suitable penalty in times past. Or how about forced castration for cuckolding another man? Numerous cultures applied that measure of justice for cuckolding a member of the royalty.
Branding was used three centuries ago to mark adulterers. How about getting some legislation passed to make that a court-ordered form of revenge today? Think of the billions of dollars to be made by the tattooing industry.
With our sophisticated knowledge of pharmacology, let's invent a new drug that makes a man who cuckolds another to go temporarily blind whenever he has an erection. That way he can kill himself and others when he gets hard while driving. Once you decide that it's okay to punish others deliberately to satisfy your own base desires, nothing is out of bounds.
I hate to be pedantic but I suppose it cannot be avoided when dealing with the Pharisees of the world. In our society, you are not entitled to revenge. It isn't a right guaranteed to you by the Constitution. Divorce is your remedy. Anything more is vigilante justice.
Ohio
You did a great job with a story wrapping up a story in which JPB does what he does best. Leave you hanging right when the drama is to begin. Not everybody got beat down and in the end the revenge on Edie will keep going and going and going.
Now as for you Alvaron53 i agree with you that Dan should have suffered big time too but past that ... I think you should do two things first shut the fuck up and second since you KNOW how revenge should be there's only one thing for you to do. The same thing JPB told me and I'm sure a number of other readers. Write your own damn story.
Ohio
Read ya later
Bishop
Hell, past all the crap I thought it was great entertainment.
Thank you for your effort and writing style.
PT
Ohio-great story and it fantastic to see a "non-wimp" story with a reasonable revenge ending. It encourages us to have you write endings for all of JPB's screwed up wimpy-husband stories.
Alvaron53- is you are such a great critic and master of story-telling: where is your submissions? It it obvious you favor the "take them back at any cost" type of wimpy endings and are very critical of those who do develop a decent non-wimp endings. So again-where is your work or do you just exist in life to be critical of others?
you have your pain and i have mind.you do what you have to do and let me do my thing.that should be the answer to anybody question about how much revenge is enough.we have men and we have real men,which is you.
It's quite simple, Average-Joe. Where do you draw the line on what is acceptable revenge? Is a little hurt okay? How about a little more? How about a lot? How about murder?
You might think murder's inappropriate but somebody might have no problem with the idea. After all, that cheating slut really does deserve to die after all the hard work and effort I went to support her all these years. Who are you to naysay them? It's their revenge after all. Shouldn't they have the justice to which they're entitled?
That's why I dislike this story because it suggests that criminal activity is excusable if you think you're justified. It doesn't and you're not. Divorce is your remedy for adultery and that's all the law allows.
Here's a thought question for you. What's Marvin's remedy after he figures out what Dan did to him? Isn't he entitled to some payback? How about he decides to fake up some pictures of Dan screwing some bimbo and sends those to Sheila so he can screw up her relationship with Dan. That okay with you? It's his right, after all, since Dan launched the vendetta, isn't it?
This story was not that much different from Bob's mindset and in fact was a little more plodding and not as bullseye in approach as his.
Frankly, the revenge was not that believeable in case #3 in the sandwhich surprise as in real life it is always hard to find buddies who will take slutty seconds. As far as the emails, in reality the guy whose marriage he broke up would beat him to death or at least put his cum into court and sue him for busting his marriage up, adultery or not.
So in that you didn't improve on the Bobster in a marginal posting.
Finally a no wimp, no take 'em back, revenge story. Told with a light touch, and a delicious ending.
Sure it was good, but all this crap written below me is a bit sad. Somehow these guys manage to read through all of JPB's stories only to get to the end and whine about it. Give me a break, I don't like gay sex stories so I don't read them, and I don't whine when someone elses choses to write one. Ohio did a great job of putting his own take on it, and it's just that, his take, and JPB's take might have been something else, get over it!!!!
I realized that the revenge in the story had to be one of opportunity rather than a repeated pattern. For example, had Jerry arranged physical attacks or accidents on Marvin or Harry people would wonder about these accidents and the connection between them. Marvin's revenge was tailored for his jealous nature (cheating husbands are usually most insecure about their own marriages) and Harry's revenge struck at his pride as a top saleman.
Although not a fan of revenge one can understand how betrayal by his friends would rate their own revenge (Jerry could not get revenge on the countless strangers she fucked since they were only taking advantage of what was clearly free).
Thanks for a great story!
SleeplessinMD
I disagree with the sarcastic comments about the level of revenge. Your story explained his rationale clearly, and it reads smoothly. It is a sad story, though - there's no winner with this cast of characters.
Good revenge story. Liked how he mixed things when getting back at his good friends who screwed Edie. A little physical pain, financial loss and personal/emotional loss.
Even though Im generally a believer in the old saying 'the best revenge is a life well lived', but there is something to be said for the old fashion variety (of revenge) as well. Nice to read a story about ruthless bastards who retaliate x10 every once in a while. Keeps things real when we are smothered by the cum sucking cuck husbands in most stories on this site.
Thanks for writing.
PS - I wonder what the last commentator was talking about when deriding the story for having vindictive revenge. Seems to me the whole point of revenge is to be vindictive but maybe he is in favor of the fluffy bunny, hugs and kisses, school of revenge. Also seems that not many people would bother getting revenge unless they hated something/someone. Maybe the author could try getting revenge on someone he likes for doing something nice for him. That would teach them bastards (or at least confuse the hell out of them).
Good writing with only a few grammatical errors and typos.
The character development is modest as we were introduced to Edie and Jerry in the original story. Through the actions of the characters in this sequel, we learn that Jerry is vindictive, mean-spirited, ruthless, uncaring and hateful. Edie is self-centered, deceptive, untruthful and immoral. Neither of them are likeable characters and there's no particular reason to care what happens to them.
The plot is a stepwise progression through hateful revenge. Jerry whacks Joe with a golf club and gleefully rejoices at the man's misfortune. I can't understand why ohio didn't inflict permanent brain damage on Joe. That would've fit the story's theme perfectly and that way we could rejoice at Joe's permanent vegetative state. This is an opportunity that the author really missed out on.
Jerry's revenge on Marvin likewise comes up short. Breaking up Marvin's and Alice's marriage with a messy divorce doesn't seem quite fitting. Obviously Marvin didn't really care about his wife since he willingly fucked around on her so, other than the annoyance of alimony, what did Marvin really lose? Nothing. It would've been far better for Jerry to have gotten a real pussyhound to seduce Alice with date rape drugs if necessary and turn her into another cumsucking, cock-hungry whore. ohio missed another great opportunity to explore the depravity of the vengeful mind here.
Jerry's revenge on Harry is limp-wristed and not believable. Anyone with any knowledge of computer security techniques knows that casual hackers cannot break into secure systems. As a security expert for an NSF-funded supercomputer center, I learned very quickly that foreign governments, big corporations and intelligence services are the true threats to secure systems. Jerry's good buddy is way out of his league and I bought nothing about this fantasy scenario. The old homily that authors should write what they know is absolutely true here.
Jerry's revenge on Edie is hateful and vindictive. Here, too, ohio missed an opportunity for the ultimate coup de gras by not having her cheating broadcast on the Internet. Surely his good buddy Rob could manage that for him. Getting the right video and sound equipment into the bedroom would be no problem so I guess I don't understand why Jerry didn't take his revenge to the next level. He certainly doesn't care who he hurts so why not show the whole world what a cheating cunt his wife is?
I don't quite understand why Jerry didn't take revenge on Dan the realtor. This guy was just as guilty as Marvin, Joe and Harry, right? It would've been no big deal to get some video of Dan banging Edie then ship that to Dan's wife, his competitors in the real estate market, his co-workers and his friends. That'd sure bust up his marriage and teach him a lesson, maybe get his ass fired. I guess Jerry's just a loser because he didn't take all the revenge he was entitled to. I'm sure many of the other folks who commented positively on the story will agree with me here.
Since Jerry's object is to humiliate Edie, why didn't he get the police to come to the surprise party and bust her for prostitution? I'm sure he could've framed her and the cops would've been happy for a nice, clean bust. A few days in jail with the other working girls would sure teach Edie a lesson or two, I bet.
Another thing occurs to me. Since Jerry was willing to wait to complete his revenge on Marvin until after he was divorced from Edie, why didn't he finish Edie off? Surely he could figure out some way to poison her or boobytrap her car or maybe create a gas leak in her house. I mean, come on, Jerry's a smart guy--he knows how things work--so why didn't he? The author doesn't explore this and, again, I think ohio missed a good opportunity to explore the total rage and anger of the man for her continual slutty behavior. All Jerry needed was a good alibi for the day of the fatal "accident" and he's home free, having gotten away with murder. It's not like it's not in the man's character so I guess he's a wimp because he's not willing to do everything he should to get the justice he deserves.
As there's no plot to the story to speak of, narrative drive is non-existent. I certainly felt no thrill, no urge to rush ahead to see what Jerry's next adventure in hate would be. The author's declaration in the story that Jerry intended to divorce Edie told us early on how the central conflict in the tale would be resolved so, beyond morbid fascination, there's no need to read the entire tale. That's poor authorship by any measure you wish to use and I was surprised that a writer of ohio's caliber would allow such a gaff in a story of his.
Enough. Excellent fiction this is not. Here's a 25 for a poorly written piece of trash. Please excuse me while I go vomit.
What a super star hard ass husband. No cuckold here.
Thank you for your efforts and please write some more stories.
Roger
now this is how to write a story--JPB does not how to do this................
when she says this ...
"I don't know why I started. I've never been as happy with anyone, or as in love with anyone, as I am with you. You're the only man who has ever made me feel totally understood, totally loved and totally safe.
"And it certainly wasn't because our sex-life isn't good enough. I love the way you make love to me, and it's just gotten better and better over the years.
YOU know ..I know ...and most folks know -- except for JPB-- that a man/ woman cannot possibly LOVE their spouse and enagage in that much extreme constant secret extra martial activity.
why couldnt you apply the Same standard to HOUSE OF CARDS?
that went on for 8 months ....even on their anniversary --or day before anniverary....
Just curious
Harry