World Turned Upside Down

Some of you may remember my story of a while ago "Wonder Woman's Most Fulfilling Adventure." As it ended, our favorite Amazonian Princess was definitely out of the crime-fighting business. The busty ex-super-heroine had just borne a daughter for the tribe's ancient enemy, Pan, and was facing a life of making more babies for the horny god. More to the point of Pan's plot, without a strong feminine role model and unprotected against Pan and Althea his witch Queen, the world was vulnerable to their Pan's schemes to reestablish traditional male dominance over women.

Word of the disappearance of her elder daughter, Diana has reached Queen Hypolite who is about to send her younger daughter, Drucilla to replace Wonder Woman. Before she sends her off, however she REALLY reads her the riot act about "fooling around." We take up the story at this point.

* * * * *

"Geez, I know all that, Mom! I'll be OK, really," the excited Drucilla exclaimed. "You've told me all that before."

"Drucilla darling, it's not that I don't trust you, but it's just so important, now that Diana has disappeared. You are the only other Amazon that has ever visited the World of Men and only you may be able to find her or at least to replace her. Things are going from bad to worse there for women. And it's all so mysterious. We think some Evil Power may have been involved in what happened to Diana."

"Gee, Mom, I don't see what's so mysterious. You know Diana has always been oversexed. You haven't seen her orgasming like crazy every time some two-bit evil genius ties her up and tries to orgasm her into submission or the way she grinds her hips back onto the member of one of those plantamals that capture her and tries to plant its seed in her. She just got tired of being a technical virgin and shacked up with that Steve Trevor who had been trying to get into her pants for all these years. I guess your daughter was at last getting it so good from old Stevie, she got a little careless and let him put a little bun in her oven. Then, when the opprobrium of being a pregnant Wonder Woman got too bad, she fled into hiding. But don't worry, Mom, I'll find her."

"You may be right, my dear! Why at least didn't she come back here? We would have accepted her."

"Gosh, Mom, from the lectures you've given me all my life, I'll bet she didn't feel that an Amazon girl showing up on Paradise Island with a big belly would exactly be welcomed with open arms."

"Oh, dear! Perhaps some of the blame does fall on me. But it IS more complicated than you think, darling. We've made inquires, even talked to Diana's OB/GYN. She was three or more months pregnant BEFORE she started sleeping with that {shudder} military person. Yet she had not lost her superpowers. Apparently she had been impregnated earlier, but without her having "given herself." Her powers only started to fade when she began letting Col. Trevor fuck her."

"Wow!" Dru let out, momentarily sobered.

"Besides, you don't have much time. If you don't find her or take Diana's place, Paradise Island is doomed."

"Huh? How could my failure in the World of Men -- not that I'm going to fail -- harm Paradise Island?" Dru asked.

"I've never told you or the others, but you have to know. The gods only extend our lease on Paradise Island in return for the services of an Amazon. She has to handle all the dirty little chores in the World of Men that the Gods would have to take care of otherwise. But now there is some guy who's rich as Croesus that has offered Zeus billions for the place, wants to develop it as a Club Eros or something. It took everything I could do to persuade him to let us stay long enough to give you a chance. And I do mean everything!"

"Mom! You don't mean you let him ...?"

"For a week! Or should I say for a weak. Humph! The erstwhile Father of the Gods and Men is definitely over the hill as far as being a lover goes. Could hardly get it up twice a day and only fucks for an hour or so before he looses it."

"Mother!" Dru could hardly believe her ears.

"Of course Hephaestus was even worse. A few friendly fucks weren't enough to get him to make you a new golden lasso and magic girdle. He insisted I take out my magic diaphragm so he could get me --"

"Mother, you don't mean --"

"Yes, Dru. There is going to be a new little Amazon on Paradise Island for the first time since you were born," Hypolite explained, patting her tummy and not looking all that unhappy about the divine extortion. "At least Aphrodite had taught HIM a thing or two about how to please a woman. And with you going away, well, I guess it'll be nice to have another little girl around the palace."

'Just a minute, Mom! I was born just after Diana was sent to the World of Men. Does that mean that I --"

"Well, how else do you think I got him to make DIANA's lasso and girdle?"

*****

Now that was quite a revelation, no? Perhaps before we get down to following Dru's exciting adventures, we should take a look at just what little Dru will face in the World of Men. Without our star-spangled superheroine things have gotten pretty bad.

Item:

- All the summer movies all have pregnancy themes: they have to. Few actresses younger than 60 can be found that are not pregnant, or nursing a newborn, or both.

- CNBC women newscasters all are proudly toting bellies of different sizes. Debora Marchini, always the pioneer, nurses her six-month old on camera and invites viewers to guess the sex of the one she expecting now

- The summer Olympics have special categories for pregnant pole- vaulters, mommy-to-be marathoners, etc.

- The Miss America Beauty Pageant is forced to go all-preggo with special bonus points given for a "firm-contoured-well integrated baby mound".

- Production on teen soap operas on the WB and Fox become erratic owing to dozens of attractive nubile actresses in their ultra- fertile 20's getting knocked up.

- Ellen Degeneres and Melissa Etheridge announce they are splitting because they are both preggers!

- Madonna does a lovingly depicted barefoot-pregnant-and-chained- to-a-stove photo shoot for Rolling Stone.

- Major retailers have maternity brands: The Mommy Republic, The Bulge, Bloomin' Dale's,

- "Fitness" magazine has a "Fit Pregnancy" offspring.

- -The faux-affectionate "air kiss" on the cheek of two professional women who meet has been replaced by a giggly mutual tummy bump/pat/inspection.

Among the most shocking examples of all these goings on was the virtual collapse of NPR when the girls of the "fallopian jungle." Cindy Robins, Nita Thompson, Lydia Worthstein, all decide to stay home with "this one." Of course idle hands ..., but that's another story. The wags started to call it National Pregnant Radio. How did this happen?

Well, it seems the first to fall was Lydia, whose husband had run off with a cutie that had let him get her pregnant. After weeks of depression (and getting tired of her vibrator every night) Lydia heard about Dr. Althea's public television talk show. After hearing Althea advice getting on with one's life, Lydia thought about it and realized this meant she should be getting her brains fucked out as often as possible. After a few more of Dr. Althea's talks she realized that she deserved a stud muffin of her very one. Not long afterwards Lydia found herself frequenting sports bars and taking up with Ricky from ESPN, a hunky ex-shot putter. Ricky had only to put a few shots into Lydia, and grandmother Worthstein was headed for the maternity ward.

Even before her friends found out THAT little fact, Cindy and Nita noticed that Lydia had not only gotten over her husband's split amazingly fast, but she was suddenly, glowingly happy. They also noticed disturbing changes in Lydia's behavior, -- difficulty in maintaining proper NPR gravitas, a tendency to break out in giggles. Fortunately it was radio, so listeners were unaware of the shocking change in Lydia's wardrobe, daring miniskirts in bright shocking colors, big loopy earrings, high-heel, open-toed sandals. When Cindy or Nita finally confronted her and asked if this had anything to do with a new boyfriend, Lydia just smiled and invited them and their husbands to her SC beach house for a week "to meet him."

To their wives' disgust, Steve and Charles were not as upset at what they heard about Lydia's behavior, but were eager to meet her new beau who had inspired it. Lydia opened the door to the cottage wearing hot pants and a bra-less blouse tied just below her new magnificent set of tits (thanks to healthy doses of vitamin Silicone taken at Ricky's suggestions). Cindy and Nina almost had to break elbows in their husbands' ribs to keep them from ogling. Knowing how to diffuse a situation, Lydia ushered everyone into the sitting room and had everyone high on wine coolers by the time Ricky came in from jogging on the beach.

Though they would never have admitted it, especially with their husbands right there, both Cindy and Nita were rather jealous when they got a look at their friend's new lover. He was Latino and built and it was obvious what Lydia saw in him. The excited host just tuned out her guests for several minutes as she greeted Ricky with a sizzling kiss. Eyes closed, she fondled the prominent erection through his Speedos, while letting him toy with her tits and make her moan from some naughtiness his hand had found to do between her legs. Steve and Charles grinned at each other and scooted closer to their wives who pretended not to look. Eventually Lydia calmed down enough to introduce her "friend."

Cindy and Nita were slightly put off when Ricky sent Lydia to fetch beers for "me and my new buddies," but the breathless older woman gladly jumped up and soon re-appeared with three tall ones, bending over to give her "friend" and the other two men an eye- popping peek at her surgically-enhanced cleavage. "Cindy, Nita, why don't we girls go into the kitchen and fix lunch so the men can talk," Lydia beamed.

The two women rolled their eyes at each other, since neither Cindy nor Nita had cooked a meal in years and so far and they knew, Lydia couldn't boil water either. Wrong! Turns out Lydia had been taking crash gourmet cooking classes because "the way to a man's heart -- and you know his 'what else' {giggle-giggle}-- is through his stomach." That explained why Lydia had been turning down afternoon reporting assignments recently. Though as far as Cindy and Nita could tell, Lydia had no trouble getting to Ricky's "what else."

Once in the kitchen, Lydia was dying to know what her friends thought of Ricky, and didn't he have the most gorgeous abs -- and that's not all -- {giggle} and, {blush} does he ever know how to fuck a woman, and she'd never know how sexy it was to give a guy blow jobs, and she loved the way his come tasted ("and just five calories, what a great diet drink"), but he certainly made it worthwhile because he could eat her to so many orgasms she passed out, and she'd never had sex even twice a day before with her ex, but Ricky did her four or five times, and she was totally in love, and she had just been dying to tell them sooner, but he promised he was going to make her PREGNANT! {breathe}

Nita was totally taken aback by Lydia's non-stop gush. Of course she was flabbergasted that her friend of fif...[oops, it isn't nice to tell a lady's age] would think about letting a man twi ...[watch it!] so much younger than she, knock her up and off her career track. But she was also surprised that Lydia would go down on her new lover, although she was a little envious that a prune-face like Lydia had a sexy guy eating her out regularly. She had blown Charles a few times when they were first married. Like most women who had been around the block a few times before tying the knot (she had lost her virginity -- better said, cast it aside like a used tampon -- at thirteen when she seduced the Sr. High quarterback) she didn't mind the taste. Charles's was better than most. But when she tried to get him to give HER some nice tongue action and he made a face as if she had asked him to drink from the Anacostia, she stopped giving head. It just convinced her what a selfish lover he was and rather cooled her ardor for him. She still fucked him when she needed it, but frankly she was coming to prefer her vibrator. IT always got her off and didn't snore when ITS batteries ran down.

Cindy, on the other hand, was completely scandalized. She hardly focused on Lydia. The thought of someone like Ricky putting her friend back in maternity clothes, shocking as that was in a woman of fif...[tch tch]. Rather she was shocked and horrified at the disgusting and immoral acts Lydia was admitting to, indeed boasting of! The thought of allowing a man to place his penis in her mouth was distasteful as well as indecent. Steve knew better than to ask! But even more revolting was the idea of allowing a man to touch her private parts with his hands or -- worse -- his mouth. Cindy knew from experience with Steve what that led to. It was not only sinful, but also dangerous. Their second and third children (of the planned one) had resulted when, in a moment of weakness, she allowed Steve to touch her down there. In no time she was screaming in orgasm and Steve was in her, making her a mommy again.

Cindy realized she was prone to sin in that way and she struggled daily to resist the urges to pleasure herself. Before they married, she had thought Steve was a nice boy who understood that sex was only for having babies. Instead, he went along with those Post-Counciliar priests who said that sex could be a means of expressing love or even just having fun! Cindy didn't buy it. The nuns had been very specific on that point. She even felt guilty about allowing Steve to fuck her on day twenty-seven. The Pope had said it was OK, but pleasure without procreation felt like cheating. Still, she did love Steve and knew how he suffered on account of her virtue. She had long ago resigned herself to finding evidences of Steve almost nightly sin with his had. Now here was Lydia, whom she had always thought to be an upright woman, glorying in giving and receiving pleasure not only from out-of-wedlock intercourse, but also from the most perverse acts Cindy could imagine.

Lydia was so wound up from her close encounter with Ricky she wouldn't shut up, describing the size, color and texture of his conk and how he used it as she flung together ham, cheese, bread and chips. Fixing an elaborate lunch was obviously never in her plans, or if it was, getting her titties fondled and her pussy felt had knocked them right out of her head.

Had they never seen one of Dr. Althea's programs, Lydia rattled on. Of course they were on public TELEVISION, (Lydia uttered the word as if naming a lower phylum in the Linnean classification of media, somewhere between molusca and the segmented worms), but the Doctor made such sense and had helped her so much and her noon-time program was on in just a few minutes they just HAD to see it.

There was no opportunity for Nita and Cindy to object as Lydia carefully arranged three sandwiches for the men on a try with more beer, pushed wine coolers into the hands of her friends whom she left to make their own sandwiches and wiggled off to give the boys lunch (and another peek at her boobs).

Hilarious laughter from the sitting room drew Nita and Cindy there double-time. The two women were pretty sure Ricky had made some crude remark about his new girlfriend's new endowments and, far from chastising him for his sexist attitude; their husbands were lapping it up. Lapping it up, in fact, was a pretty good description of what Ricky was doing to Lydia's honkers, when her friends walked in. Ricky he had popped Lydia's boobies out of the pesky blouse, and was using his amazingly long tongue to make the older woman squirm and giggle delightedly.

Their spouses, however, had fallen stone silent. It wasn't hard to tell what had shut them up, though their mouths hung open. The television program that Lydia had wanted them all to see had begun. Their husbands' eyes were riveted to the brilliant oversized screen where a voluptuous woman of indefinite age was talking and flirting with the camera. Both Nita and Cindy began guessing which Miss Clairol bottle her hair had come from, though they supposed that was not what held their spouses' attention. More likely it was the skirt that stopped at least five inches up her thigh or the slit that continued up another two or three. On the other hand, it might also be the set of knockers that seemed to be fairly screaming to be released from a push-up bra and out for manual inspection. But in their heart of hearts both women knew what it really was: the beach-ball belly of the television hostess.

'Men,' thought Nita, as she turned her attention to the television. As she suspected this Dr. Althea was just an upscale version of the silly psychobabble found on AM talk radio. Good communication was important between partners? What a cliche. Wait, did she hear that right? Women were always eager to please their men but needed to be told clearly exactly how to please them? "Loving but firm instruction is what we need," the televised image said. "A woman who has been trained to do as she's told around the house will {sly smile} be the kind of sex kitten you want her to be in bed."

There was something wrong about that, but Nita couldn't figure out just what. As she continued watching, it started making more sense. Of course if a man wanted a woman who was hot for him day and night, he had to make it worth her while. Althea realized that some men had never learned that knowing how to eat a woman properly could make her your slave, so she had arranged for a demonstration. Then, right in front of Nita and millions of other viewers, Althea lifted her maternity dress and motioned off camera. 'My God,' Nita thought, 'the slut isn't wearing panties and she is DRIPPING.' Nina hadn't seen the two men, who were nodding silently, so rapt by a TV program since the Super Bowl.

Promptly a burly, hairy man appeared and without saying a word, buried his face in between Althea's legs. For the next forty-five minutes, until Althea became incoherent during her umpteenth orgasm, the nation was treated to the first cunilingus narrated lick by lick ever shown on national television. It was so intense that Nita had to get a little relieve from her own fingers. When she recovered, the program was over and the scene had shifted to banks of telephones. It was pledge week and "the kind of quality programming you have just seen cannot survive without your generous support." Steve and Charles had their checkbooks out, scribbling furiously.

'Men,' thought Cindy, as she turned her attention to the television. As she suspected this Dr. Althea was just an upscale version of the silly psychobabble found on AM talk radio. Of course good communication was important between partners. Wait, did she hear that right? Women needed constantly to ask their partners what they could do to please them better, how they could be sexier and more accommodating in bed? That was bullshit, she thought as she continued watching. It was perfectly obvious how to please a man. They were all just overgrown fourteen-year-old boys. After all, a bombshell like Cindy Robins didn't need advice from this blond bimbo. A little red leather miniskirt would knock Steve's sock off! Some high heels would put a wiggle in her walk that would get her fucked as often as he could get it up. She didn't have to ask Steve anything. The erection he'd get when she met him at the door wearing nothing but heels and a big pink bow around her neck would tell her all she needed to know. Of course she already knew what the really wanted, for her to start on a second crop of babies. Well he could get started tonight, Hell, this afternoon.