- Erotic Poetry
- (but)
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Click here(but)
in the aftermath of our lovemaking
i wish i’d let you stay
just a while longer
at least long enough to tell me
what you meant to say
immediately after (but)
night after night
i lie here wondering
what
did you intend to say you
aren’t ready for a commitment
or have a terminal disease
“i love you…(but)…”
but what?
what exactly
were you going to say
as we lay there
in one another’s arms
lust sated
before i screamed
“get out!”
“i love you…(but)…”
those four small words
convey much more
than any number of excuses
but
i’d still like to know
- COMMENTS
it really struck a chord with me, as I've been there before. Thanks Molly.
The alignment clearly adds to this piece...
Fun to read...please keep writing...
~goliathtamer
I was hesitant about reading this poem at first, thinking I wouldn't like it. Once I've analyzed the difficulty, I'm thinking it's the use of the lower case for the "I" pronoun. Since everyone on Earth can't be e.e. cummings, I think that, sometimes, we should spend a minute and reflect the message (especially on a site like literotica, where every other poem explores D/s and uses the "i") we send through the physical construct of our poems. Apart from this aspect, your poem takes a bit of a worn theme and handles it with some fresh expressions and interesting line breaks. Thanks for sharing.
Mentioned on the New Poems Review thread in Literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion Forum.