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Click hereMy collar sits
on the corner of my dresser
tangled up and taunting
my now naked neck
You used to notice
everything about me
It is telling
that you have not noticed
or mentioned
that I took it off
nearly a month ago
I had hoped
you would ask why
so I could tell you
it used to represent
a promise
your promise
wrapped around me
its comforting pressure
reminding me of
of your careful hands
on my throat
But it became
nothing more than
an uncomfortably tight
reminder
of your
never
to be
kept
promise
choking the love
out of me
like careless hands
that do not know
when to stop
I had to
take it off
I couldn't
breathe
I cannot
plan my future
with a man
who is planning
his future
with another woman
And you cannot
expect me
to be faithful to you
when you cheat on me
every day
with your wife
with my best friend
You used to tell me
how much time
I wasted
with my husband
But what about
all the years
that I wasted
loving you
when you had
no intention of
upholding
keeping
honoring
the promise
you so carelessly
wrapped
around
my
throat
Sometimes I wish
you would have died
while it still mattered
while I still mattered
while I still wore
your collar
your promise
rather than live
until I took it off
discarding it
the way you
discarded me and
our love
and broke
the parts of
my heart
that I trusted
you
to mend
Sometimes I wish
I let it
let you
choke me
beyond breathing so
I could have died
believing I was
being loved by you
until my
very
last
breath
My collar sits
waiting
the clasp unbroken
I removed it carefully
just in case
the day comes
when your promise
to me
matters more
than your promise
to her
I can still be
yours
without it.
After all,
You don't wear
your wedding ring
But you are still
obviously
frustratingly
inexplicably
hers
No collar.
No ring.
No promise.
Just the bitter angry chokehold of his marriage to your best friend.
You are suffocating under the painful rejection.
And yes, I see your detailed comment, an explanation of throuple life.
You know. I know. They know.
We know that in your throuple life you are safe and you are loved.
As always, you will find your way through the darkness, one step, one poem, at a time!
Falling4U, thank you. Please understand there is so much positivity to the richness of my Throuple life. I have the best of both worlds. A home with people I love and enjoy and a home of my own, where I am blissfully single and independent and do whatever I want whatever I want with whoever I want. I don't often write about the fun, happy beautiful loving times. I use my poetry as a bit of therapy and catharsis, it's a place to put my pain so I don't carry it with me. It's also a way for me to communicate my feelings to him as he is on this page and welcomed to read anything I publish here. And I've never in my life found love that wasn't tempered by hurt. Maybe someday I will. Maybe my poetry at that point will change. But these people have been my whole heart for so many years. We were best friends long before we became a Throuple. With them, I am safe and I am loved even though I am a little bit sad and a little bit jealous. I can't imagine my life, or my poetry, without them. Nor do I want to. And also, for the sake of art, some of what I write is embellished or wholly fictional. I can take a moment in time and turn it into a lengthy poem, intertwining fact and fiction, life and fantasy dreams and reality 💜
Find your poetry haunting and frustrating that you cling to a man who does not deserve you . It’s easy to say walk away and make a new life when you have so much invested in the current one but you deserve so much better. Look forward to one day reading a poem of yours that feels more positive about the future