- Non-Erotic Poetry
- In Prayer
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Click hereA little make-up makes your pout
a little prayer for your devout,
as only I have heard you swear;
And I'd go on and on about you dear,
and write for you a little prayer,
to match the one I've heard you swear;
To capture what's been past your eyes
in all the bits you've ever read,
I swear, they'd never leave your bed;
The parts of you I haven't said,
the bits I fear to plagiarize,
are hidden here, within my head;
and that's enough to keep you dear,
and that's enough of you, my dear.
- COMMENTS
I love traditional forms, I just don't like writing entire poems in them. I wrote this with Bob Dylan "Just Like a Woman" in mind, that sort of ambiguity. I didn't think anyone but my girlfriend would like it though. So thanks.
....in form (because of the survivor challenge) I read and reread this seceral times trying to figure out the form. I agree with Tzara when he says it's a bit obscure, ambiguous even, but I like that.<P>and that's enough <B>to keep you dear,</B><BR>
and that's enough <B>of you, my dear</B>.</P><P>Tess</P>
It does some very interesting things, especially the odd use of rhyme (and repetition of rhyme words like "dear" and "swear") and the simple rhythm. I found L3 puzzling, though. It's the only line in pentameter and I assume you did that on purpose, but it merely seems jarring to me. If the intent was to break the basic iambic tetrameter up, I think it's unnecessary, as the rhyme pattern does that already (at least for me). I also find the poem a little obscure--I'm not quite sure what it says--but that works for me. I enjoyed this a lot.