by OpenField
Nicely written, great diction. "Pernurious swain" felt off, given the rest of the language.
great flow and a tone that manages to convey both need and authority. A pleasure to read.
if you meant the sardonic twist in language. Too much punctuation or too abrupt line breaks though. 5/5
.....what a find. Wonderful erotica with narry a crass word. You have a fan in me, will be looking for more.