- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Sometimes
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereSometimes
I see my life as a trap;
It's teeth snapped around my paw.
I claw at myself
Because I'm desperate to be free
Sometimes
I love you
because I am never
so beautiful
as when I am reflected in your eyes.
Sometimes
I stumble.
I crawl along the earth.
Face pointed down.
My dreams lost in the cold mud.
Sometimes
I raise my head,
see the endless stars,
cry out,
and weep at the wonder I have found.
- COMMENTS
I felt ‘ousted’ from your poem when you turned from the strong animal imagery to the ‘mirroring eyes’ imagery. IMO, it was a classic example how a mixed metaphor could derail what is otherwise a very strong poem. My advice: create separate poems, even on the same subject, each with its own main image. They WILL be different. Thank you for your poem!