All Comments on 'A Great Change Pt. 01'
by Unihorse243
- 5 Comments
I like the idea and the main story but the leaps the girls make from being stopped in time to "fuck-me-now" is a bit unrealistic. 3/5 :) Keep up the good work tho!
> I had learned how to unfreeze tine in only one room as a bonus.
You can’t create rules out of nowhere like that, it just makes the reader pop out of the story.
Plus, even “revealing her inside slut”, it seems reaaaaally unrealistic that someone discovering they have been teleported into another place, and tied up and naked and with a big cock in their mouth would do anything else than scream in horror and thrash frantically. That would be a terrifying experience.
"Keep up the good work," some imbecile writes!
NOTE TO ALL OTHER IMBECILES: THIS IS PUERILE GARBAGE OF THE FIRST ORDER!
The only thing the "author" needs do to improve his standing here, is to never write again!
I was more interested in the shrinking aspect, which didn't really happen. When he goes to school you said he pushed the red button and time stopped. You told us and showed us the red button shrinks.
Great Story. There were minor grammatical and other errors. But it was still great. Where is part 2?