A Little Plate of Grapes

Indulgent author's note.

This is more of a shake and bake after my last 17 page offering. I held myself to the story and limited the imagined sidetracks. Maybe you can paint the flesh on the skeletons for yourselves.

I had just one day off this week and a brain fart from the faeries last night. Pardon my editing please, but the fae folk were insistent, and this needed out.

Also, I may have been drinking beer and listening to Aerosmith on my day off.

#twentyfourhourstory

©Don't be a cunt. My stories are free.

...........

The lift stopped. I put my phone in my pocket and stepped centrally toward the door. The younger guy I was sharing with likewise put away his phone and stood from leaning disinterestedly against the back wall. It took a little while to realise the door wasn't going to open.

He moved forward and slapped the "Door" button gently.

We waited.

He punched it again.

"Fuck." We said in unison as we realised something was wrong.

"Have you ever..." I wasn't sure what you called this, so I waved my hand at the door.

"Nope." He shook his shaggy hair. "Hang on, I'll duck it."

"Duck what?"

"Duckduckgo. Like google but... Private, I guess."

"Whatever." Great. Stuck in a lift with a nerd.

[Fucking lift stuck.] I text Gary.

[At pub]

[Lift is stuck!]

[Fucken call the lift dudes]

[What fucking lift dudes?]

[Well I can't help and I cant pick you up again]

[You have to. I'm going to miss my ride share.]

[At pub, babe! Friday on yeah bois!]

[So I'm stuck in a fucking lift and you can't even give a fuck?]

[later for fucks hahaha]

[Dream on.]

[Serious u b rite. Happens all the time]

"Are you letting people know you're safe?" Nerd boy asks gently.

"Huh? No. I'm... Well, I guess."

"It says to alert emergency contacts then call- there should be a service number in here. Found it. I'll call."

[Fuck you. We're done.] We'd been sort of hooking up occasionally over the last month or two. Gary is one of my brother's dumb tradie mates; good looking, dumb tradie mates with a good dick and a nice car. But he's such a 'bro'. I'm twenty-six. I'm looking for a bit more than someone who thinks a great weekend is getting through two cartons of beer and a four pack of condoms.

[Pff drama much, babe?]

Well look at that. It must be the first text he's sent me with actual punctuation. "Up here for drinking, looser." I laugh and tap my head.

"Sorry, what?" Nerd boy asks.

"Fucking boyfriend... At the pub. Doesn't even give a shit. Well ex-boyfriend now. I think I just dumped him."

"Cause your stuck in a lift?"

"Nah, cause he's a fucking 'bro'."

"Oh. Well um, sorry. But I've let the technicians know and they say they'll be a little while."

"How long?"

He glanced around the floor for a bit.

"Fuck... That long?" I ranted. "What? Half an hour? An hour?"

"They've got eight people stuck in an elevator at Princess Alexandra Hospital. Two lifts. One on the way up to theatre and then-"

"Great so we're second in line." The thought of others in a hospital stuck sort of gives me some perspective and I feel a little petty.

"Fourth. The David Jones building and somewhere else. It's Friday afternoon, so they only have one crew on after five."

"Fuck my life." I slide dramatically to the floor and rub my temples.

"They didn't actually give a time. Just asked if we had water and if we had medical issues."

"Well, I'm fucking allergic to being stuck in a lift while my arsehole ex is at the pub with his mates getting his 'yeah bois, Friday' on."

When I look up from my hands after a bit of a silent moment, he's arranging things from his backpack onto the floor. He's got his phone out and lined up next to it he places two litre bottles of water, a bottle of some sort of pills, an asthma puffer, a light rain coat and a first aid kit.

"What is this, boy scouts?" I laugh a little cruelly.

He just shrugs. "You got any water? I'm right for twenty-four hours."

"Nope." I slap the floor with my hand. "Fuck."

Then I scrabble through my sling bag.

"I have-" And I'm afraid my red-haired temper boiled over, "Tampons, a four pack of condoms, chewing gum, house keys, a bunch of stupid notes I've written myself, a brush and enough cosmetics that we can paint ourselves like fucking drag queens if you're so inclined."

He looks a bit like a rabbit in the headlights.

"Oh... Look." I hold up a tiny doll that my niece gave me and a bottle of hand sanitiser. "We can clean our hands after I shove Barbie up the technician's arseholes later."

"Well, I'm sure they'll appreciate the hygiene." He deadpans me.

We're silent for a little while. He looks like he's just worked out that he's stuck in a lift with a crazy person and it launches me into hysterics. He quickly follows suit and I guess it's just our nerves, but we laugh 'way' too long.

While I'm cackling, I'm mostly just appreciating his general helpful nature. Imagine being stuck in a lift with an arsehole, though. He's kinda cute in a teddy bear sort of way too. Tall, chunky, with big shoulders and arms. He's hairy. He has a shaggy short blonde beard and wavy hair that would look great on someone his size wearing boardshorts and rocking a six pack. His eyes are kind though and his face is friendly.

It could be much worse. I have this whole imagination thing. Like a fantasy but a bad fantasy that scares me and gets me all hot and bothered at the same time. I'm going to shut it down right now before it scares me too much, but it involves a confined space like this, I can't get away and a bunch of strangers raping me. It's a thing I made up in my head while playing with my toys once. Harmless, but it lingers on the edge of my awareness every time I step into a lift or a small room.

"So, twelve hours." He tells me when I settle. "If I share my water, we have enough for twelve hours and if I get my periods, I'll have to hit you up."

That just set me off again.

We got down to the waiting business then.

He tapped at his phone. I tapped at mine.

I texted Mum and had a half hour word war with her. I sent a selfie of me and nerd boy to my friend Casey who thought he was cute. She loves the teddy-bear boys.

[What's the cute guy's name?]

"Hey?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm Alice." I extend a hand.

His face lights up like I'm the best thing he's seen all day as he holds his own hand out to take mine. When we touch, some weird spark jolts up my arm like that time I touched the electric fence.

"Alex."

We hold hands a bit too long. His big hand swallows mine and the warmth of it makes me feel so safe and-

[Alex.] I distract my problematically horny self. I'm

[Hahahaha. Alice and Alex sitting in a lift... K I S S I, You guys should fuck.]

[Drongo!]

[Got to do something while you wait and he IS cute.]

[You're not helping. And he's not my type.]

[Tru dat! You like them with an IQ of 90. Just smart enough to use their tools.]

[Haha.] She's never shared my appreciation of tradies. All those muscles and power tools and... God. If I was stuck in this lift right now with Gary, he'd have his paws all over me. Jesus he only has two emotions, hungry and horny. Three if you include football, then you get angry. He scares me now and then. Pub fights and raised voices in traffic. It's like dating a socially functioning chimp.

"What are you doing?" I distract myself from Casey and that whole train of thought. "Work?"

He has his laptop out and is busy tapping away it while I talk smack with Casey.

"Oh... I'm remotely accessing the technicians work logs to see if they've updated them."

"Hacking?"

"I like to call it snooping. It sounds a bit more... childishly innocent rather than criminal."

"Any chance you could just like log in to our lift and magic us downstairs, Alex?"

"Standalone systems. No central- err... I already tried but they're dumbware."

"Dumbware?"

"Just machines like a toaster."

"Great, so every day I get inside a toaster and hope it pops," I make a hand gesture like toast springing out, "me out at the right floor?"

"Pretty much. I was disappointed too. You'd think they'd have some kind of remote access and control these days but nada... Dumbware. Only things I can reach from here are the central server, all the satellite systems, copy machines, and some wanker in accounting left his personal hotspot on. Eww... Man needs some fucking jesus."

"So, I've been sitting here talking shit with my besty and you've infiltrated a multi-national marketing firm?"

"You make it sound..." He shrugs. "I was just trying to help, not snooping."

"What do you do? Are you IT?"

"No. I'm... coffee I guess. Mostly I just fetch fuckers coffee."

"I don't have one of those. Do you have an extension? I like coffee."

"Ha. Technically, I'm doing an intern thing with ground two on logistics but they treat me like a work experience kid."

"A university placement?"

"Yeah. Oh look. An update. They're done at the hospital. Won't know how long until they get to the next job and assess it. That's something hey?"

"Yeah."

We fall silent for a while after that. He's waiting boredly for his computer to do something and my phone is quiet because I'm a loser and only really have the one friend in town and my ex is a tosser 'bro'.

"Can I have a drink?" I hated to ask. I felt a bit like I was lost in the desert and should be conserving our supplies, but my mouth was dusty.

"Sure." His fingers brushed mine again when he passed it and that same electric tingle wriggled right up my arm then surprised me by zinging down my spine into my crotch. It was hard to swallow the water. I saw his eyes.

They were blue and deep like the ocean. They smiled kindly and generously and twinkled a little with something. I wondered how long it had actually been since I made eye contact with someone. I'm sure I blushed as I wrestled my eyes away from his.

"Alice?"

"Hey."

We'd been quiet for a long while. I was miles away, letting my mind drift. Strangely this was the first moment I had truly had in a long while to just float on the tides of my imagination.

"They've logged four hours for David Jones."

"Fuck!" I throw my tampax box from where I'd left it beside my bag when we did that resource thing. It hits the opposite wall and explodes like a cluster bomb.

"Haha."

"What's so fucking funny, nerd-boy?" Shit, that was fucking harsh. "Sorry. Red hair. You should have got the memo."

"Haha. How do you kill a period?"

"What?"

"You 'tamp on it." His shoulders shuffle in suppressed laughter.

I suppress nothing. It's a character flaw. So, I bellow donkey snorts and delicate girly gut laughs into our tin torture can.

"Thanks, Alex." I eventually tell him. "This would have been... just fucked. Can you imagine?"

"Oh god yes. I've been sitting here thinking what it would have been like if I'd been stuck in here with that fucking crew from ground two. Jesus..."

"Are they that horrible to you?"

"Oh, you have no fucking idea. You know all those dumb pranks?"

"Shit. We have HR rules about hazing."

"I know, but I have choices. Involve HR and be a narc or pretend to fall for their wildly intellectual pranks." He rolls his eyes.

"Jeff is usually right on top of things down there."

"Jeff's away. I was supposed to be shadowing him but..." He opens his hands in a giving up gesture.

"Damn. Oh... Hey did you let people know you were stuck?" For some reason I give a shit suddenly about him.

"Mum. Not really anyone else. I ah... Dumb story, needs more dragons and maybe a dwarf or two."

"Alex, I've got." I pretend to check a wristwatch. "Oh... Maybe four more god-damned hours... Entertain me nerd-boy!" I laugh to soften the nasty.

"Nerd-boy... You're a real explorer, aren't you? Straight into uncharted territory. Hurrah lads! Let's venture into nerd shame! We shall be 'those brave few' who boldly go where none have dared. We shall name them geeks and-" He dissolves into self-deprecating laughter.

I can hardly breathe for laughing. My eyes leak and I'm just worried I'll wee.

"So... Allow me fair lady..." He continues in some mocked medieval tones. "I moved to Brissy eight years ago from Cunnamulla. My parents don't have a lot of money so if I wanted university I had to work for it. My girlfriend whose name is now erased from the books courtesy of colonial politics governing the recording of contemporary history, came with me initially but left me for the foreman on the road work site I had started with. Four years later, I'd saved enough money to study full time for three and here I am. Bravely charting unexplored time capsules with pretty strangers. Imagine if we finally step outside and we're in a completely different time."

"Like dinosaurs." My eyes widen and I realise I've bought into his bullshit. Men usually bore me. I seldom use them for more than practical considerations. This guy is sucking me into some alternate universe.

"Personally, I'm setting the dial for steam punk era. You should see me with a monocle. I get this half 'blond Hagrid' half 'yeti-werewolf' thing happening. It's a bit hairy but very classy. All that brass really sets off my eyes."

"Oh god, Alex. I haven't laughed this much..."

"It's all I've got, Alice. I'm six foot three of hairy nerd. Humour is my pheromone."

At the word pheromone I'm ashamed. A thing has been happening with the fear, the small sweaty space, the fantasy that I refuse to let into my mind but hovers there anyway and the laughter. I'm wet.

I can smell myself.

To be fair, I can smell him too. This little tin can is not hot but it's humid and the air is still. He smells like gym-sweat and cookies. I smell like aroused woman and desperately functioning anti-perspirant.

It's not just the smell though. My mound is engorged. Every movement brings swollen awareness to me of just how god damned horny I am right now. It's like my body is frightened that it's in a life-threatening moment and needs to suddenly reproduce. And he is SO not my type.

"I'm sorry." Slips shyly out of my mouth before I've even thought it.

"Huh?"

"It's kind of you to pretend not to notice, but... Well, we're both human and... Fuck, Alex... I just reek. I can smell myself."

"Oh." He seems worried and deep in thought. "I don't have any..."

He searches his backpack quickly, "Deodorant. I'm... I can smell myself too, Alice. Believe me, you smell a lot better than me."

"Nothing." He tips it over and lets random things spill out. "Sorry."

"Oh god." I hold my face in my hands. "I have this thing."

Like I have to explain... What the actual fuck, Alice? But my lips move without permission or advisory.

"A fantasy. Do boys have them? Like things you think about but don't actually do? God... My mouth; shutting up now."

His big blue eyes look like I've just handed him a winning lotto ticket and a loaded gun and asked him what to do next.

"Err... Look. This is really intimate and I get the Stockholm thing, but do you want a real answer or just something witty right now, Alice? I'm a human. Just like you."

"Fuck." I huff a deep breath out. "Fuck I'm a wierdo. I can't even get stuck in a lift like a normal person. I have to get all fifty shades of fucking grotty on some giant teddy bear."

"Teddy bear?"

"Shit. You must hate me. You're gentle and big. That's all. You're kind and hairy and I feel like I have nothing to fear and I could just cuddle you if I needed. Not some horrible nerd shame thing. I'm really sorry."

His eyes watch me silently for a long while and then his lips split in a slow smile that lights his big blue laser beam eyes with some kind of sunrise.

"Here." He says quietly. "I was saving them for emergency toilet functions. But, they've just logged off at David Jones and should be here in twenty."

I'm handed a little soft wrap of wet-wipes.

"I'm going to turn around and look at the wall for a little while. You just do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable. I have sisters, Alice. Wet-wipes are for hiking and breakup make-up, road-trips and well, sisters in general."

I watch the back of him while I carefully push a hand up my blouse and clean my underarms then screw it up and dump it in my bag. Then I run one likewise under my bra line and he hasn't flinched, so I feel almost comfortable reaching down into my pants and mopping my sodden sex with a couple of scrunched up wipes. I can't believe I'm so wet.

"Thanks." I mumble to let him know I'm done.

"Your turn." He says playfully, "Turn around. No one wants to see the yeti wipe his ball sack."

I laugh and laugh and the whole thing is suddenly too stupid to contain. We are just animals in the end. Just beasts with functions and... Then I'm crying.

"I know." He tells me as he places a gentle hand on my shoulder. "I can't believe you're stuck in here with me. I'm trying to be... Not so... Me... Fuck this is over the top wrong."

"I'm glad it's you."

"I'm glad it's you, too."

...................

I turned up early on Monday. I'd had a lot of time to think over the weekend while I packed Gary's shit and threw it from the third floor onto the nature strip. He'd turned up late on Saturday looking for a booty call and wouldn't take no for an answer over the intercom. So instead of walking the two bags of property down to him. I made my point by dropping them from my balcony to explode near his feet. One of my neighbours cheered, "Go girl." Another yelled, "Now fuck off you whingey cunt."

Change was inclement.

I had decided on the word 'inclement' because it sounded wicked off the tongue like a citrusy kind of 'bells of St Clement's' kind of horror story word. I had decided to citrus scrub the whole organisation over the weekend. Here comes the chopper to chop off your head.

It had taken me two hot baths and a bergamot bomb to get the smell of that lift from my nostrils. It was something that work needed desperately as well. There was a smell of nepotism and patriarchy that pervaded the lower floors. It was something that Dad had warned me about a long time ago.

"Alice darling, this isn't a wonderland. This is a grindstone and the people I've filled it with are old and nasty and if you come to work here, I can't protect you. You're going to have to find a way to change cultures. Gently... Bit by bit... I know you can do it."

Then one day, not long after my first year as his assistant, he took off his oxygen thing and succumbed to emphysema on his own terms.

The time for gently was over.

Also, I had a little plate of grapes I needed to offer Alex for putting him through 'stuck in a lift, little red witchy-poo'.

Monday morning, I called all of ground two into a hasty meeting. I saw Alex's eyes bore into mine as he watched from the back. I could hear him asking, "Who is she?"

"And further... Alex... Would you please join me up here. I'm nervous as fuck and need you please."

His silly giant face split in a grin and he loped like a lost yeti up beside me.

The lift door closed.

He looked at me kindly with those giant blue eyes.

"You smell, Alice." His lips curl and his nose crinkles.

"Smell?"

His hand slaps at the emergency button and the lifts jolts me and my frightened eyes find his.

I'm no good at German but it sounded like he said, "You reek so good."

His lips found my neck and my body mocked me by bending back into his and seeking his strength. His strong big hands found my neck and pushed me against the wall as his nostrils sucked their way up my throat and his lips followed.

"I've had you stuck in my nose all week. The smell of you. Your eyes. Your strength. Stuck in me. I want you."

"Fuck..." My whole body is squirming under his touch. I can't control my hips that thrust me back against him, seeking firmness and finding it.