Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereThe applause for that was thunderous. Nobody had done that before. The faculty stood up, the student body stood up, and I looked over at a stunned Cammie Rowe, who had stopped bouncing pretty much right when she heard her name. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her up after me.
"Why?" she whispered.
"It's kind of like baseball," I whispered back as we sat back down after acknowledging the applause with a few waves. "We're a team. It was your star, your stupid grid, and you were the one who borrowed the telescope. I certainly couldn't have done it without you."
"But what about the rules? You were the first one to see it."
"Rules?" I grinned. "Rules don't apply to girlfriends."
"I'm not your —"
"Hush," I said.
Mr. Carruthers had started speaking again, and it was my turn to put my hand on Cammie's arm.
"I have a former college friend of mine employed at the IAU, so I e-mailed him back to confirm it. And when I got that, I e-mailed another friend of mine at a college in New York State that had had the utter gall to put Ms. Rowe on its wait list, despite my recommendation."
He got a nervous laugh from the audience for that. He pulled a second e-mail out of his pocket.
"I told him that I was sure that Caltech would love to number the discoverer of a comet among its incoming freshman class," he continued. "I got his return e-mail today, and he informs me that the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute would also love to number Ms. Rowe among its freshman class, and is willing to offer her the Cushing Scholarship, for a student who has performed unparalleled original work in the physical sciences. Ms. Rowe?"
He turned around to hand the e-mail to Cammie in the midst of the renewed applause, but found her chair empty. Ms. Rowe had already knocked me to the ground.
In between kissing my face, she spoke those twelve words that any suitor longs to hear.
"It may take Daddy a little while to come around, you asshole."
I shrugged, as best I could in a prostrate position.
"But I love you, Patrick Sterling," she said, burying her head in my shoulder.
"I love you, too, Cammie Rowe," I said.
****************
Sammy Houghtaling was a great trumpet player, but as a public speaker he left a little to be desired. His valedictory address at Saturday's graduation was a halting speech, filled with platitudes about growing older. Jeanne wasn't the only one in the audience cringing in sympathy.
Then Tommy Narburg got up and gave a hysterical speech in which he pointed out that a valedictory was simply a farewell address — vale being Latin for farewell and dictory meaning address. Then he pulled out a watch and said that he intended to speak for a minute longer than Sammy, which made him the real valedictorian of the class.
Sammy reclaimed the microphone, and we all held our breath, waiting for a fresh disaster. But he had his trumpet with him, and leaned forward into the microphone. I had forgotten that Sammy was also scheduled to do a trumpet solo at the ceremony.
"This is Perpetual Motion," he said.
He launched into a five-minute solo. I swear he never took a breath for the entire time, and when he was done, the rest of us just exhaled, as if we had all been trying to hold our breaths until he finished.
He took advantage of the silence to lean forward to the microphone one more time.
"Valedictorian," he pointed to himself with a smile as he looked out at Tommy.
Tommy was the first one to jump to his feet and start applauding. Well, the first one after Jeanne.
****************
I drove Jeanne and Jill to church the following day, and naturally sat in the front row next to my girlfriend. After church, I was stunned at the size of the crowd waiting for us outside the church, even if I was responsible for them being there. It included, I was very happy to see, not only Dave and Liane, but also Dad and Tiffany, with little Sarah sleeping peacefully in Tiffany's arms. Aunt Ruth and Uncle Bill were standing right next to them.
"What's going on?" Jeanne gripped my arm as she saw the assemblage.
"Come on," I motioned her and Jill over to where the minister was waiting.
"Patrick," he said. "Would you like to say a few words?"
"Thank you, sir. This week will be the second anniversary of our mom's death, and I want to thank the Vestry for giving us permission to plant this tree here in her memory. It's a weeping willow, her favorite."
Jeanne and Jill were already in tears, and I was going to be joining them really soon.
"It will have a plaque on it that says, In loving memory of Sarah Anne Sterling. 1965-2005. May — may, I'm sorry..."
I handed it to Jeanne, who handed it to Jill, who gave it to Dave, who got about as far as I did. It came back to me, and I gave it to Cammie, who couldn't do any better. Finally, my best friend, Tanya Szerchenko, reached for it. She was crying, too, and I couldn't help but wish, as I heard her read it, that my mother had been able to meet her.
"In loving memory of Sarah Anne Sterling, 1965-2005. May God bless us all with her ability to love her neighbor as she loved herself."
****************
August, 2007
"Wake up," she hissed.
"What time is it?" I groaned.
"Two o'clock."
"In the morning?"
"Of course in the morning, Patrick. Look."
We looked up into the sky, and there it was. Comet Rowe-Sterling, blazing in the eastern sky.
"Wow!" we both said at the same time.
We were lying naked on two sleeping bags in Lemmon's Park.
"Oh, look, Patrick, a shooting star!"
"Who cares about a shooting star? There's a frickin' comet up there."
"But it's a shooting star. You have to make a wish."
"Oh, no. I'm not making any wishes."
"Why not?"
"I already did that once this year, and look what happened."
"What?"
I ticked the reasons off on my fingers in the darkness.
"I almost got thrown out of school. My face is scarred for life. I almost got arrested. I almost turned back into an asshole."
"You threw a no-hitter and a perfect game," she countered. "And you managed to wiggle your way into UVA. I still haven't figured that one out."
"Hey, you think after Tommy posted that video of my little speech on YouTube that they were going to turn me away, even with a 2.7434 average? I did get a 1970 on my SAT, you know."
"Yeah, no fooling," she laughed. "Anyway, your brother is happily dating your ex-girlfriend, your sister is happily dating the valedictorian, your little sister is happily dating your catcher, and you got to have the two hottest girls in the senior class."
"Well, when you put it that way..."
I did have a wish, though, come to think of it. I was really hoping that this wouldn't be like one of those movies, where a guy's guardian angel, or the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, shows the guy what his future would be like if he doesn't change, and then returns him to where he started. Because I really didn't want to go back.
I didn't think it would happen, not now anyway. The time to return me would have been after the assembly, or after the church ceremony. And that had been two months ago. On the whole, I found that I didn't mind losing the three years between my freshman and senior years of high school. I didn't think I could do any better than I had done now. And I knew for damn sure that Tommy Narburg couldn't have done any better.
"Why so quiet?" she asked.
"Sorry," I smiled in the darkness. "Just thinking. So what did you wish for?"
"I can't tell you. It's bad luck."
"So how will I know if it comes true?"
I felt a soft hand bump my thigh and then wrap itself around my cock.
"Ooh, look," she said as she felt it grow and stiffen. "It's already coming true."
"You didn't need a star for that. I'm gonna make that wish come true for the rest of your life."
She moved up to straddle me.
"You know, I'm naked and wet. You're naked and hard. What do you say we just skip the foreplay and get down to the real play?"
She held me in place and sank down on top of me, making both of us groan with pleasure. She was tight, and wonderful, and perfect. Ten years from now, when we had a couple of little Rowe-Sterlings running around underfoot instead of one big one shining overhead, she probably wouldn't be quite as tight. But she would still be wonderful. She would still be perfect. She would still be my Cammie.
THE END (thanks for reading)
- COMMENTS
Sometimes I think people forget that the stories posted on this site are not those you’d find elsewhere. As a high school teacher, there are several things that cause me to pause while readying this, but then again, it’s not as though this is “normal” literature for a “normal” audience—that being of a non erotic classification—so there’s bound to be some very fictitious or scandalous circumstances that wouldn’t be allowed in the “real world.” Are my students this sexually active? Some are. Are high school classes this rigorous? Not where I teach, at least. Do teachers come on to their high school students? Yes, but we call that an abuse of power and will get you sent to jail ASAP. Do people still walk that fence? Absolutely. Do HS students come on to their teachers? You betcha. Some get an absolute thrill out of seeing how much they can cause teachers to squirm when purposely invading the teacher’s personal space or by making sexual innuendos but feigning innocence as they say them. All that aside, it’s an entertaining storyline that does a great job crating complex characters who are consistent and engaging while walking the audience through Trick’s solutions for fixing the problems created by his past self. I enjoyed this story. It’s a good read for the Literotica audience. So for those calling out the obvious issues of inappropriateness, you are correct. It would not do the same for those outside of this particular audience. That being said—then why are you here? Isn’t that the point of this site? To dabble in fantasy? SMH. Job well done, MarshAlien.
What a great read - once I began, I simply couldn’t put it down. I think my only wish was to get a flashback or a retelling of the moment between The protagonist and Cammie - when things fell apart. Would’ve been interesting to see that transition from sweet boy to asshole.
Anyway; 5 starts for sure!
Incredible story. Of course, apparently statutory rape is not an issue in this world, but most of that occurred during the memory gap (although the sex life of the 15 year old sister was a little too much for me), so I guess that's OK. But he still wasn't 18 during the school year, which means the librarian was still breaking the law and the school administrator certainly wanted to.
Purim vs. Saturdays for Episcopalians - loved that. Had to stop reading, walking around the house chuckling to myself for at least ten minutes.
A really good story. Easily a strong 4 Star ⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating. With 10-15% less detailed angst? This one could have gotten one of my rare 5 ✨ ratings ... Thank You, so very much, for writing this one.
Unusual story but interesting and engaging. Interesting premise for a story and well worth the read. Keep up the good work. MtM
I have no idea if the author will read this, but if so I thank him for the story. Someone before was pissed off at what they saw as a lack of a true ending. They took it personally. While I too would have liked to see another chapter, I am thankful for the free story. We, as readers, have no idea why the author stopped writing. It could be any number of reason from burn out, to a shift in life priorities, to a tragedy. Since we may never know, I emplore that commentor to show at least compassion, if they can't muster up gratitude for this labor of live.
A great story, one of the best on this site. The main character seemed a little dense at times…socially anyway… but, a very likable guy.
I am/was a little taken aback by the casual move from one lover to another at the drop of a hat…
But, I’m older and not in tune with the youths… (a yout is a young …never mind)
Sayin’
Tob
Story had its up and downs but in the end was a great read 5-stars. Thank You for writing this excellent story.
Superlative storytelling at its best. This really is a crown jewel of a tale. Thank you for sharing this. BardnotBard
Great premise, great story, wonderful writing, what’s not to like. Should get a 10
Good read which I will heartily recommend, although admittedly, I kinda zoned out during the baseball parts. Long-winded and totally Greek to me.
One superb story. So much fun, and central is a boy's loss, fall, recovery and redemption. This is memorable. Favorited.
I loved this story, it had me smiling and tearing up almost simultaneously. Well written, and very entertaining. Five stars!
Really enjoyed the story. Had fun reading the negative comments that basically missed the point. Very sorry you are not still publishing. Wish you the best in life just like Cammie and Sterling. If you're still out there, would appreciate more stories like this and "What Feats He Did." Thank you1
High School romances and or let's be honest serial hook ups are not 'real life' and frankly are more a parody of 'real' relationships. To make a girlfriend declaration at the end of High School is not only the epitome of stupid but considering the seperate College's the absolute Grand Slams of trite, lazy and frankly tone deaf narration.
A much better plotline would of been having the protagonist going through the quagmire that is High School and then graduating to the cluster fuck that is College etc.
Dragging the carcass of High School relationships into College and beyond is so hard atypically unless your from a relatively close rural community where most of the people stay in the area unlike most urban people who literally go everywhere after graduation.
You’re a gifted writer and have a great sense of humor. Keep the stories coming.
Wonderful story, all the aspects I look forward to in a romantic, do over. Great ending, and a great candidate for a sequel.
Welll the end was sweet but it needed a couple of chapters for the real end. Not enough of the come together and love story
MarshAlien, sorry I read the whole series twice now and for this one, I just had, seriously had to take a star off the completed story. This series was magical, mystical, humorous very enjoyable. but Sadly I felt something lacking in the series. It didn't feel whole or comolete It needed another chapter of two.
Maybe Cam & Tricks long distance love affair. Cam's college education and also from him waking up to the fact that most or ALL College baseball players were big fish in small ponds but now are ALL EQUALLY SMALL FISH in a much bigger Pond.
Then there's the is Trick going to able to compete at a higher level at College, will UV Win an NCAA FINAL Four. National Championship. Will Patrick choose to play in MLB if he keeps grades up and Play well enough to be Drafted after College. Then there is Trick doing his time in the minor leagues.
Then Cammie, how will her Scientific education continue, will she continue to play Volleyball. How WILL HER SPORTS CAREER GO considering Volleyball is an OLYMPIC SPORT? WILL their relationship continue with him in Virginia and her in up state NEW YORK? WILL they get jobs that allow them to be together? There is so that YOU WROTE INTO THIS THAT YOU NEED TO ADDRESS or you've basically screwed up your dedicated readers and followers. AND IT FUCKING HURTS TO BESCREWED BY AN AUTHOR WE INVEST SO MUCH OF OUR SELVES TO IDENTIFY WITH THE CHARACTERS, Then you dump us like dropping a turn in the pool palace. I'm pissed off that YOU MarshAlien have treated us like shit.
Loved it.
A great mix of humor, characters, baseball, suspense, erotica, plot twists, drama, romance, etc.
Mind you, it's a bit unrealistic that a star baseball player would be enough of a genius to catch up on three years missed schooling that easily, but then that's why it's fiction.
One of if not the best stories I’ve read on here got to chapter 5 and was already getting sad knowing it would end soon wonderfully written thank you for a great read 5* easily
Excellent! Thanks for taking the time to create this. Always love these well-written stories about good people doing good. THANKS again.
I'm not sure what happened to this story between chapters 6 and 7. It's almost as if the original author got bored and brought in someone new to finish it.
On the whole, I was enjoying this series. It was an interesting take on a time travel story to jump forward, rather than back, which is usually the case. However, it did suffer a bit in that Trick should have been behind on the maturity curve, being mentally 15 in an 18 year old body, but all too often was behaving like a 35 year old, outsmarting all the adults in the room. However, that is hardly an uncommon occurrence on this site, so definitely not a deal breaker.
No, this story goes all wrong when there is a sudden switch of love interest with no story to support it. There is almost no connection between the characters established in the first six chapters and the behavior shown by those characters in chapter 7. If this was the ending originally intended, the groundwork sure wasn't put in place to support it. I really wish I had stopped reading after chapter 6 because I would still have good feelings about the series, but this bad chapter has pretty much destroyed the whole thing for me.
Good use of the English language and proper punctuation don’t make a great story, but I notice that the really great stories do have both.
Well done! I really enjoyed this one.
Bill
Thank you for taking the time and effort to write this story, and for making my day after reading it.
Reasonable story.I am glad he didn't end up with Tanya,the way she hooked that night with Rabbit,shows she has the makings of a first class slut.
What a great story. Young Patrick Sterling goes from being a jerky freshman to senior overnight, to find sex, and redemption while growing into his own.. Well worth your reading time! ..And by the way, thank you for proper punctuation, spelling, and grammar both you and Trickster get an A+ In English. 😀
Got bored out of my mind with all the baseball. Other than that it was a very nice read and I did get through it, even with all the sports details. Would’ve hoped for a second meeting with Santa, though.
But I can't.
It's a great story/series but I am left empty after reading it. If it was a story that was supposed to leave you empty, it would be one thing, but it's not. It's supposed to have all the "strings" of the story tied up into bows and left under the proverbial "Christmas Tree". But rather than tying them up and leaving them in a bow under the tree, it simply left a lot of knots and strands of tinsel lying on the floor. Maybe it would have been better off returning him to waking up Christmas morning as a 14-year-old.
While Cammie and Trick were a nice touch getting together and in our minds, it might have been something akin to "True Love", in reality, it really wasn't. Does anyone believe after both of them going off in different directions for college and study they would still emerge as a "Couple"??? Trick and Tayna WAS true love even if they didn't realize it at the time.
I can see a Final Chapter of Trick and Tayna seeing each other at a reunion 10 or 15 years in the future where they are both divorced from Rabbit and Cammie and getting together to balance the universe.
Seriously, who snubs being picked 4th in the first round of the Baseball Draft to attend college??? NOBODY. Not even if it is the Devil Rays (Rays) doing it. $3-5 million a year is life-changing money. No matter the choice of career a person follows in college you aren't going to see that kind of return.
Only someone who is Full Retard turns that down. Good Left-Handed Pitchers are a rarity in the MLB and teams will usually give them more leeway than other position players and pitchers so they have the ability to "Drain" more teams for a longer time than other players waiting for them to develop.
Given that, a Fast Ball/Change-up only pitcher, even a Southpaw wouldn't get drafted that high. "3 Pitch" Pitchers are a bare minimum and since he never threw a curveball for a strike in high school you can't count him as that.
Authors need to realize the lifeline that is researching and those that do research for books and stories. I was a rare 3 sport athlete for a Division I University. Football, Wrestling, and Baseball (Catcher). I have played with several players that went on to play professional sports and even got drafted myself but knew I didn't have a future in it and went on to my dream, the Military, instead.
I remembered that I read this a while back. It is just as good as I remembered it. Great job.
This series is so good, it shook me to the core. I feel like I have genuinely been changed as a person by reading this. I cannot thank the author enough for sharing it, and I hope many more people get to experience the joy of Trick's story.
This story is all about revisiting high school and being the nerd. I went to the prom by my self, never played one high school inning of baseball or football. This story was all about going from ass**** to nice guy and being good at sports. I never understood baseball and still don't understand infield fly rule or whatever but enjoyed the story immensely. I've searched for more like it but can't find any on the website. Great read, good character development, humor, suspense, first love, this story has many jewels and stars.
You ever read a sex story that was so good, you end up skipping the sex part? That what I did for this story. I enjoy everything about it. The only problem: I don’t know ANYTHING about baseball, so I could really enjoy what is happening during the game. Other than that, it was great! Love it and thanks for a great story!
Thank you very much for such a fantastic story, I read the whole thing in 2 days.
This is the ultimate nice guys finish last story. The asshole version of Trick would be a millionaire baseball player (picking college over life changing money is stupid) and also could date any girl he wanted. Instead he's stuck trying to force not one but two girls to be his girlfriend.
guy spends the whole story building up the relationship with the jewish girl to ultimately throw it all out the window in the shittiest way possible, what in the actual fuck
there's no development between the MC and the former "chubby braceface" girl during the WHOLE FUCKING THING and yet, we're supposed to be happy that he ends up with her, through a shitty, rushed buildup?
Just made me realize how shit the whole story really is -- fucking spends six chapters implying romance between two characters, to then-- ah fuck It. What was i expecting anyway
Ive read, and re-read this multiple times. Ive never wanted to see a sequel to a story more badly than with this one!!
I like (and rather agree with) Rickman48's comment from this past July: this is a nice feel-good story/series (and its beginning (especially the parts about how *some* of Patrick's family sincerely loves Christmas and love each other) is nice to read around "the holidays").
I saw the relatively-recent comment about how "slutty" characters are in this story, BUT... (as I've been reading a new series (a slow-building romance whose protagonist start out "in denial" about their feelings for each other) about which some commenters are basically complaining "This is LITEROTICA: Where's the sex??!!??") I think the balance of sexual activity, high-school drama, and character development in A Stitch in Time is actually quite good.
(Belated (I first read the series quite a few years ago) Thanks to MarshAlien.)
E. (or "nycreader").
I have read this story through 5 times now since I originally discovered it 10 years ago. It's great, even though I know that Cammie and Patrick will find it hard to get together at colleges as far apart as UVA and RPI.
But thank for this. It's one of the best things written on this site.
Tanya's a lil bit of a bitch.
i didn't think it on my first read months ago. but this time i read it again and well, she is. she's demanding of him and has expectations that she's got no right to put a hold on him. Then she starts adding adendums and rules to their 'benefit's' that sorta make it... well, a relationship.
And then the end with cammie. It seemed, forced. If he'd ever had a conversation where he was really hurt, aside from the one where its 'well fuck you cammie rowe' i'd have believed it a bit more. But as it was, Tanya just goes, because you can't think of a present your in love, and then Jeanne doing the same. It just... i dunno. The rest of the story was so good that that large detail sorta blemished it for me i guess.
JC
I think I've read this story 5 or 6 times, I practically have it memorized. Thank you so much for this heartwarming tale.
There are a few stories that I will come back and read over and over. A subset will be those that I remember and revisit because of the way they make me feel. This series is one of them. Thank you for a great story.
I really overall enjoyed your story, but if you are looking for some constructive criticism I will offer the following:
* I know this is a "sex story" site but does every character in the story have to be so slutty? How does Cammie go from unwilling to blow the guy she suposidy loves to a casual sex freinds with benefits tramp?
* How do Trick and Taynna go from having very obvious feelings for each other to her fucking his friend and him being OK with it in one night (without even hardly talking about it)?
* on the same subject there is no way in the world that Trick (or any guy) could take hearing how huge his friend was through the wall from Taynna and then just to drive that knife in from Cammie! He would be running for the hills.
* The story setup basically guarantees that Trick and Cammie have no future together by spending 4 years apart... Not really much of a romance?
Just a warning that if you have a series of stories, unless I'm around for each instillation's posting, I'm only gonna rate the last one, your greedy bastard.
- The Four-Eyed Vampire
MA, I left a comment at the end of your story What Feats He Did That Day saying that I needed more samples of your work before I decided that I needed some coaching from you, and so far... I am NOT disappointed. I seem to recall saying something like "HOLY FUCK!" that time. Well... Imma say it again.
HOLY FUCK!
You, my beautiful friend, are gifted beyond normalcy. No. Gifted beyond SUPERnormalcy. You write impeccably on the life of amateur baseball players and reporters alike! Forget just impeccable. I've seen a bit of both, in fact, and you just about nailed it. Especially the drama of highschool in senior year. Yeesh. Messy stuff, teenage hormones.
Anyway, I am so far past just impressed. You have succeeded in doing all but one thing: Accurately reflecting the mind of a Sophomore. He was a senior through and through the way you wrote our dear Trick. And yet, despite that... I loved it. That was amazing. So thank you, and I look forward to reading more of your stories.
...
Well, maybe not the Accidental Gigolo...
But yeah. You'll be seeing my name again soon, you gorgeous writer of semi-smut, you.
- The Four-Eyed Vampire
Even if Cammie and Pat got together in the end it's barely any time since they became an "item" at the end of the school year. Also the colleges their going to is going to separate them for a good number of years. The relationship failed as soon as it started.
while leaving so many questions open ended.
Will the rekindled relationship between Patrick and Cammie survive the physical separation of her going to RSI as he heads off to UVA?
Why was it so important to have the hand-off of Tanya to Rabbit? Given the whole JDL stance in the early section of this series, then the "friends" status that seemed to be becoming much more, then the abruptness of the arrival together followed almost immediately by one or two dances and then, blink, new pairings.
This story is an outstanding example of how to make the reader feel all the emotion involved in becoming a nascent grown-up. I have added this to my "favorite" list so I can easily access the story any time I need a positive pick-me-up!
This is ana well written story with an intriguing premise. Unfortunately, despite the authors great litteracy and scholarship, it adopts a short banter one usually reads in text messages. The deadfull descriptions of basball play by play seem more like an attempt at chapter fill-in than character build up. To me the blending of the Santa, religion, sex and scholarship feels like a hodgepodge, exacerbated by the hardly believable sexual restraint of the hero. He either forgot his teenage years or had a very boring youth. A disappointment. 5d2f
I am a complete sucker for coming of age stories, assuming they're good of course. I couldn't stop reading it and in my book that is a very good sign. I love reading stories where the plot is similar, where you have the protagonist either re-doing a part of their life again with different results or in this case skipping parts of their life and trying to fix and fill in the blanks. The dialogue between characters felt very natural and many would probably feel attached to them by the end of the story; the little bits of erotica was just the cherry on top.
I'm kinda sad that to see that it seems like you haven't logged in since 2007 so that means you probably won't read these comments but I would like to think that one day you might feel a little curious and check so you can see my appreciation for this story. Thank you!
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WANTED TRICK AND TANYA TO GET TOGETHER AND BREAK THE RELIGIOUS BARRIERS. THE SHIPPING WAS REAL!!!!!
Anyways, one of the best, MA, on all of Lit.
Easiest 5 stars I've ever given.
I just finished the whole story. I really enjoyed the whole thing. I hope to read everything you have written.
starts off a little weird but a great read. someone that loses 2 years & find out he has a lot to make up for & does it . Great read hope you write more of them.
This is one of, or maybe the best story I have read on this website. The characters are all very well done and the story is just fantastic. No insult to the writer but you could take out all the sex and it would still be a great story, On more than one occasion the story brought tears to my eyes and I did not want it to end. Thank you very much for writing this and I hope you write a sequel set a few years down the road.
Great wit and humor. Wonderful read ...and look forward to more. Thanks!
I've read this entire story about a dozen times. Even without the sex I think this would have been excellent.
The whole Rabbit and Tanya thing though felt a little rushed. It felt as if you were trying to get rid of Tanya from Patrick's life a bit too quickly. The comment Rabbit made where he said, "I love her." really got to me because they'd only been together for one night. The text I would have put in there personally would have been, "I think I'm falling in love with her." he said with a dazed look on his face.
Sorry for being overly critical about a story which I've loved for quite a while but that was the only thing that really bugged me about this story. I do however like how it tied into Cameron slowly opening up to Patrick.
Altogether a pretty well put together story and I do hope to be reading more of your work soon.
Thank you. I gave it 5 stars. But …
For me there was an ongoing dis-connect between the maturity of perspectives and responses - against their being high school students.
If ever you resume these publications, I do wish you well. :-)
ive got to say that one in a while you get some real gold in this site and this was one of them. I binged on this one to the point i couldn't go to sleep.
I had finished this story about 2 to 3 weeks ago, and I keep coming back to this chapter. I love almost everything about the entire thing, but I'm still a little hung up on the Tanya situation. I figured the story was going to end, basically like it did, so I'm still happy with it.
If possible, this would get 10/5 stars, as it deserves all dem stars :)
A really great series. Too much baseball, however it really was the "glue" that held the plot together. Just about a perfect amount of sex, however in high school, in my opinion no one is ever that smart sexually. Overall, a fun read!!!! 😛⚾️
Thank you for a WONDERFUL story.... made me smile, made me cry, made me happy to be part of the human race... fantastic writing.... THANK YOU!
Best regards,
Mark
greenheating at yahoo.com
4* you would have got five but for the baseball. I am English and have no idea what you were talking about. We play the best bat and ball game in the world and it's called cricket.
Reading this again... Had me in stitches in the last few chapters. Sometimes I feel bad about my life and I read your stories, and helps man, it really does. I know you are probably even not using the site anymore, but I thank you for making me feel. Laughter, heartbreak, you know, just... emotions. My high school life was not as good as I could've made it, hell, I wouldn't mind missing three years of it because apart from the learning, nothing fundamentally changed in my time there. I didn't turn into an asshole, or even become an angel or anything. I just... was.
...and thanks for a really good,upbeat story - cheered me up !!
For a change - no hidden nasties...and lots of Fun. Thanks.
Cammie is the best he girlfriend that any one could have.
Thank you for giving us your wonderful story. I enjoy all of your works and am disappointed to not see new LIT work from you or your collaborators since 08 you all dropped out at about the same time. I am sure you have moved on to bigger and better and I will try and see what else you have written under your new pen name Marshall Ian Key. I enjoy the human nature in your characters and the respect & love that flows from every story you write.
One of the best stories I've read on here, hands down. Amazing work.
I read this from start to finish and I absolutely loved it. Though I was expecting Santa to show up again and offer Patrick a chance to do it all over again, but him turning it down.
Thank you so much for such a wonderful story. All the characters were so well developed, it was easy slipping into the world you lovingly crafted. The good times and the bad times, bittersweet sorrows and gentle loves. You are truly talented, and I feel so much richer for taking the time to read this.
Very well written and poignant at times... I actually felt kind of bittersweet about Tanya as well but glad things worked out so well...
Sad about the loss he had to have felt about his mom... I'm a little surprised he didn't spend more time crying about her... clearly he lived her and it had to feel worse than hearing she'd died in a car crash since he didn't even get closure - no remembered funeral for him...
Keep writing man this is the best book I have read in the whole year when I joined this place.
This was almost like reading a sequel to Ferris Buellers Day Off. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
An involved plot, humor, and love in many forms - a great read!
During the reading of this series in public (it's text, nobody looks over.), I laughed out loud more times than I can count. I'm sure people gave me looks, but imagine their faces if they knew I was reading lit. It's amazing how you can convey so many emotions, so many feelings through text. I laughed, I cried (just cringed, actually), I loved, the important thing is that I FELT. Thank you sir, Marsh Alien, for taking me on this incredible journey of the highschool life of Mr. Sterling. All the best, even though I'm almost 8 years late.
I was slightly intrigued about this story when I read the description, myself being a pretty picky reader. That being said I have to say this was one of the most beautiful and well written stories I have come across. Other than some of the baseball rules amd details that admittedly went over my head I was able to get into the story. I shared Patrick's horror and tension realizing he had skipped three years of his life and missed so many things and found just what kind of person he had turned into. Revulsion at the lengths Stephie and her father went to, I felt the dread of the coming conflict between Lebo and the Sterling family, and of course I couldn't help but laugh at some of the quips delivered. All in all, an amazing story and I want to say thank you.
You really gave me somthing that i'll treasure in my lyf foreverr.........THANK-YOU MAN once more....:)))))))
It's nice to enjoy an erotic story and not feel dirty when you're done! Sex ideally is the ultimate expression of love; which of course, makes it's abuse seem all the worse. You do a masterful job of showing us both ends of the spectrum; and the consequences of each. I pray I never become so self-centered that I would prefer self gratification to true love!
As to the complaints about Tonya; I just have to laugh as in my experience, it was the best possible outcome. The lure of the exotic can be strong, but it is very difficult for such different cultures to mesh successfully; not to mention, he was in love with Cammie!
Thank you for your efforts; they've entertained and inspired me.
This is a nicely written story that explores some interesting topics. Keep writing!
This was the best story I have ever read. Amazingly written. I loved the way you went about the whole "I just lost three fucking years of my life" situation. That guy who says "Oh this suck. It's so slow. Get to fucking!.", Go fuck yourself. This isn't some story meant for circle jerking with your buddy's. If this was a book, I would buy it. I sat down and did nothing but read this for like 8 hours. You have a gift. Keep up the good work.
I was waiting for the lawsuit after Trick beat the fuck out of Andy. Maybe it happened; I don't know.
This was the single most drawn-out, boring, let's-get-to-the-fucking-goddamned-POINT story I have ever read.
Seriously, did you just want to fuck with the readers?
Zero stars. This was shit.
This was vey well organized, and well written. But I have to say he would have been a better man than me; I don't think I could have let Tanya go that easily.
Very well written through out and very very entertaining a very good balance throughout
Thanks for a wonderful, yet too short. series. Well orchestrated, well paced, and well executed.
You know what's your biggest mistake in the story? Your biggest mistake was: ENDING IT!
This is a very good story, albeit a little embellished. Rarely is there that much star material in one stud senior. Kids aren't quite like these, even today. It does lack some character development that would have made it rich. I love baseball. The characters could have used a dose of detail like the games received. What is it with the hop on and go anyway? Lacked some good lusty detail there.
High School Seniors, much less Freshman are this mature?
Other than that, quite a good read. Well paced plot, character development, excellent grasp of the English language
All it all one of the best reads on this site
by far the best i have read so far, and in my opinion going to be incredibly tough to find a better one. 5* - without a doubt.
It's a fine yarn, but it is neither science fiction nor fantasy. Why was it placed in that folder?
I really enjoyed your tale, Well Done. I was wondering if you would continue to see if Patrick would meet up with "Santa" again... I must concur with Kraktree and Proxy Account over their feeling about Tanya and Trick's demise. Tanya's character came across as being very shallow. Shame there. A fabulous series though definitely 5*
What the fuck was this man? You wasted the plot completely... You wrote abt 10,000 words abt tanya and then suddenly cammie is the one? I dont know what obsession u literotica guys have about absolutely fucking a story up in the last chapter. U austin_erotica whitesabretooth all of u guys simply loose it in the end...DISGUSTING. Wasted so much of my fucking time.
Excellent work of literature, I enjoyed reading through this story and seeing it unfold. I am glad to see how it ended, it shows a real sense of emotion throughout it and gives a happy ending to it that is to be enjoyed and looked upon in awe and amazement.
I started reading at 03:19. Figured I'd read for an hour. I finished reading at 11:22. A very well spent 8 hours. :D
An extremely well written story. Took a while to read it but every minute was well worth the time. I had to force myself to take a break. I was a bit disappointed that Tanya and Trick did not wind up together as I believe it is next to impossible for the "friends with benefits" relationship to not end disastrously.
Just finished reading the series straight through. It was a great way to spend my Sunday and sad to see that its over. I will definitely be moving on to check out your other works.
Why can't more stories be like this one ? Guy gets the girl , all his friends get the girl too. Hell even the lawyer gets a girlfriend. A woman follows her dreams . The stepmother becomes part of the family and the sisters have everything for them too. Who needs all the sad stories that make u cry?
Page 4. Fiancee refers to the woman in an affianced couple. Fiance is her husband to be. Other than that pathetically minor point, it's a wonderful and enjoyable story.
for sharing this with us. I love your writing style so much it absolutely didn't matter that I have no idea about baseball and the american education system (I'm from Switzerland). I especially love how you write dialogues, one of my absolute favorites was the scene where he pairs Lynn off with Bob! I would absolutely pay for this, please continue the great work.
That is exactly how long it took to read the entire series. I read it all in one go and loved every moment of it. Exceptional and I mean EXCEPTIONAL writing here! Keep it up! Favorites all around for you!
It can be about as disgusting as racial discrimination. It's also ironic that Trick reacts negatively to Stephie's "that Jew girls", while completely ignoring Tanya's just-as-pejorative "Shiksa". But I guess we just have to live with the everyday hypocrisy, like how I love my homophobic parents.
Otherwise, great story in general. But I can't say I like the ending with Cammie, even though I could pretty much see the ending from the beginning. It feels like the author doesn't know how to end the romantic melodrama and decides to rush for a rudimentary solution. Maybe somewhere in my mind, I was hoping that Patrick can push through the religious barrier for his love, and set myself up disappointment
I think the whole series "A Stitch in Time" is the best Literotica story I have read.
Thanks MarshAlien
this is the kind of story I like. well written, a real story line and just enough raunchy sex to make it interesting. Good work.
I got hooked immediately. You could publish this. Great plot, great character building, wonderfully clear writing.
You went thru the whole thing with him dating the tanya girl, then all of a suddrn at the end he ended up with cammie, I would have likes for you to go into more detail of their relationship. Its also very sad that you made his mother die, I don't see the point in that. Also, at the beginning when his dads wife made tthat remarl about wishing that babys was theirs, that's just gross and it didn't fit in your story at all, you should have left that part out because it implies that they had been having sex, and you don't just have a happy little family in the end if your fckin your dads wife.
Thoughgt the Cammie-Trick relationship needed a little more detail. Well, a lot more detail. Thanks for the story though, it WAS a really good read.
I haven´t commented on any other chapter in this story, and thats becous I diden´t stop reading until I finished this one.
Yeah, haven´t slept in awhile, not good to be up this long, but hey, its my vaccation!
Thanks, and keep writhing.
While overall this was an excellent series I have to say I was rather annoyed at the Tanya/Trick relationship ending. You spent a good 6 and a half chapters building up their relationship only to suddenly have them break up for two minor characters? This was the biggest flaw in the story for me. The relationship between Tanya and Trick felt far more natural and developed than any other in the story and would have been a more satisfying conclusion if they could have overcome their difficulties.
Just want to tell you that your writing is so good! I read two stories back to back! In one night. Yawn, need to sleep and read the rest...
I've never posted a comment and this is my first. This story was beyond excellent and I look forward to reading your other works. Please keep writing.
Another user commented that the story screeches to a halt at the point when Tanya and Cammie essentially switch places. I sort of agree.
That caused me some anger when I read it, because there was this budding relationship between Tanya and Trick, into which he had put a lot of work. Suddenly, that was all gone because Rabbit is a nice Jewish boy.
Now, this fits into elements in the story. Tanya discussed that her parents wanted her to marry a Jewish man. The other half of the story, the Trick/Cammie reunion, also fits. There is history there, and clearly it had been unresolved. So neither of those is terrible in their own right.
However, the abruptness with which Trick and Tanya throw away their relationship is startling. There was, for me, a hope that the two would find a way to overcome their relationship ambiguity, rather than simply ignore it or break up. Or, maybe the problem with her parents (who liked Trick) were too much to overcome. Fine, but that was not explored. Instead, it just disappeared.
Instead, we are left with a broken relationship that both parties are perfectly fine breaking, so that Tanya can be with a character we barely know at all. This, to me, was the biggest problem. I couldn't get over it, particularly because I enjoyed the characters and the dilemmas of this story so much.
Very well written. The dialogue was excellent, the story changed directions and had surprises. I read it in one day.
The story as a whole was really great... the guy wasn't too conceited and had flaws, as so many of the men in stories seem to be these self-obsessed sex gods who do no wrong... I love the humour about his size and wanting to read sex for dummies, even him not knowing when the girl had climaxed. I think the build up of the main character was fabulous, but I do wish there had been more development of the relationship between Trick and Cammie, as I wasn't aware until the formal that either had feelings for the other, so it all seemed very sudden.
Apart from that, brilliant!
Ahahaha! Loved the humour in your story. Things like "Your other option is an F, Mr. Sterling" and the hilarious payoff to reading all about the infield whatchamacallit. (Not a baseball fan, sorry)
I'm not sure I totally agree with the sudden change of character of Tiffany. People don't flip a switch from selfish to generous and empathetic. These basic human traits are very resistant to change. Such story points did pop me out of the story for a moment....but they were few and far between.
I love a story which has a point and a plot to it and is not a mere collection of sexual escapades with no rhyme or reason. I can't get interested in the sex if I'm not interested in the characters. Thanks for a wonderful read. This is the first story that I feel is worth a 5/5.
In the course of half a page, you threw away the relationship between Tanya and Trick, I now have no desire to read the rest of the story. You expect me to believe that after Trick wrote a paper on Passion about Tanya and himself that he would simply be ok with passing her off to another guy, in the middle of a formal dance, to hang out with an ex. And you want me to feel ok that even thought Tanya and Trick have matured with each other throughout the story that she would pass of their relationship just because some guy shows up and he is Jewish.
I understand that Tanya and Trick may not be destined to go the distance but the simple ease in which you passed off their relationship was such a violent break of character that I found myself unwilling to finish the rest of the story. Maybe if you spent more time developing the Rabbit character I would be more willing to go with it but honestly other then the fact that he is Jewish I cannot remember a single trait about him as of writing the comment.
Up until that point i very much enjoyed your story. The main characters were very well constructed and the plot flowed remarkably well. I just left feeling like I just watched a M Night Shyamalan movie. It was good up until the end, then i just walk away felling mad and saying that was stupid.
Please don't stop, and let us know your published name when you have one.
Thank you for sharing your talent and creating this story. I found myself caring about the characters and was grateful for the happy ending.
Please continue writing.
This is the third time I have read this story. It just keeps getting better each time. Thank you for a wonderful read.
Loved it, very cool idea, keep on writing[other stories, of course :P], please :)
I really enjoyed the entire series! Very well written. The second the idea that the ending did feel a little rushed, but overall, it was a really excellent read.
I actually make a note to only read good books or pieces of literature, and I must say that this story is as great as any I have read. Truly Brilliant.
I'll admit, I didn't like the way that Tanya left him, but in the end it all worked out fine and I enjoyed it brilliantly. Kudos to you.
Can't seem to find the correct words to describe this "Edit every positive word in the dictonary". But what I can say is, I loved it.
That was absolutely fantastic. I'm speechless, and seeing as it's 3 am, extremely tired.
I buy a lot of books. This story was much better than most I've read lately. THANKS
I really liked this series... up until this last part. The way that Tanya, Cameron, and Rachel was handled felt really rushed. Up to this point, everything was developed in a progressive fashion and the reader could see where things were going. All of a sudden, it's like WTF? Tanya is just going to jump ship at the dance and boff a guy just because he's the right religion/race? Nowhere did I get the impression that she was that shallow of a bitch. That was some seriously bad sock-puppetry. All of a sudden a Cammie is the main character's love again? WTF? Again. The main character turns down Rachel and hooks her up? WTF? Again. Lynn made sense because he was in a relationship with Tanya, but the sudden resurgence of feelings that the reader is given no good indication of is pretty silly. This part needs rewriting.
I began reading this last night and ended up finishing the story this morning, thank you for missing a good nights sleep, you had me hanging on your every word. Absolutely fantastic.
I came by looking for a "short story" in order to kill some time and ended up reading through last night....
Thanks for hours passing by without me noticing it at all, have`nt had that in a long time!
(P.S.: Sry for the english but as a german I do not tend to get too much practice!)
Wonderful, engaging, an absolute pleasure to read. Thank you so much for putting me two days behind in all of my work! ;)
I considered this a pleasure to read and will be reading anything else you post
Fabulous. Loved Living Dolls, love this. Hope you're making bank or beneficence somewhere with this talent.
It is finished , it is done , so soon, RATS!! Want more, please more! Sequel ?????
Well done !!
Title of comment says it all. This was a wonderful, well-crafted, and superbly-written story. My only disappointments are why are there only 5 stars to choose instead of 50, or hell, even 100? And, how come I'm just now discovering this story in 2010 when it was written/posted in 2007?
But really, thanks for such an amazing story. It held me captivated and spell-bound from Ch. 01 to the very end. I cried (both happy and bittersweet tears), sputtered in choked laughter at several humorous innuendos and puns, and finally giving up decided "Oh, what the hell" and allowed myself frequent bouts of raucous laughter, uncaring that i was waking up my sleeping neighbors at 3:00 AM in the morning.
You're a pretty damn good writer and I have to echo at least one previous commenter about this story being prime publishing material. Thanks for a splendidly fascinating tale!
This is THE best story i've ever come across on any website. to indicate just how good i think it is...well...i've read maybe about a couple hundred stories, but this is the first time i'm commenting on one. you really are an amazing writer.
I've read it for 4 straight hours and i didn't get any sleep. I've been glued to the laptop!
I dreamed, laughed, cried, got horny, etc...
My eyes are still red and puffy, not just for not sleeping for the whole night (it's now 6:11AM) but also for crying.
This is great! Reminds me of Sweet Valley novels, but even better. You should get published.
Thanks a lot for the great story!
You have some of the best stories on the site, and I have truly enjoyed reading them. I laughed, I cried, I enjoyed the sex scenes. Thank you.
I loved your story, and I can't believe I didn't stumble upon it sooner. At times they all acted like brats and bitches and that irritated me, but I think it's just a great example of your characterization skills.
Very real, if not a bit over sexed... but that what this place is all about right?
sorry to rain on your parade. But marrying jews only is as racist as belittling them for being jewish.
The first half of the story was one of the better works I have read on this site. Chapters 5-7, I found largely uneventful and somewhat cheesy. May have be targeted more toward females.
+1 for the movie idea,<br>
But in my opinion this could be a great story for a movie even without going to the over budgeted Hollywood, and might even benefit from the atmosphere that an independent studio can bring.<br>
<br>
P.S. I too would have liked a bit move explanation of why Patrick loved Cammie some much, probably at the start of the story.<br>
<br>
P.P.S. I nearly cried, just nearly, oh so close.
The romance and religion stuff was really good, the concept of Jews dating non-Jews is definitely real. I was surprised (and a bit disappointed) the idea of Patrick converting to Judaism wasn't discussed a bit more. When he talks about his Religion class final to the whole school, and the question about a Jewish character in the bible, the stage is definitely set!
Instead of studying for multiple tests, I pulled an all nighter tonight solely so that I could finish your story. Poignant, flowing, the melody of the words and the harmony of the story you told melded perfectly into one cohesive whole. Although I do agree with the comment that perhaps the whole Trick-Cammie relationship was a bit underdone in the beginning, it was nonetheless a gripping tale of motivation, hard work, and introspection in one's life. Thank you so much for this story.
I was disappointed when Trick and Tanya separated. We had seen them together a lot, and I'd grown to like her. I don't get why Trick was supposed to be madly in love with Cammie. They didn't have a real relationship that Trick could remember. He'd reluctantly agreed to spend some time with Cammie when his sister pushed them together, and he and Cammie shared a little kiss. That's it. If we'd been shown a strong, loving relationship between Trick and Cammie before the time travel, I would have been rooting for them to get that relationship back. But we weren't shown that relationship, and I didn't particularly care whether he got back with Cammie or not. I do think this is a well written story, and I enjoyed it. I just didn't feel any sense of victory when Trick and Cammie got back together. In fact, I missed Tanya.
I really loved this story,it brought a whole range of emotion out of me. I would like to say continue the good work.
...this is a 12! Thanks for a great, great read! Publish it at once!
I've lived 27 years and this is so far the best story ever !
Go to hollywood and get your story made into a movie.
THIS was truly a great story. I can't write enough platitudes about it, so I won't try. This was just the best example of what great storytelling is all about. At no point did I feel the characters were false, and between how beautifully they were illustrated, as well as how wonderfully the plot was drawn out, in the end it just came down to being a plain and simple good story. Sounds simple to achieve, but this story proves how much work goes into that little miracle. Good job!!!
I've been a fan of your work since reading Living Dolls some time ago. I absolutely loved this story. I know this is Literotica and we all come here expecting sex, but you provided that and more. I'm going to read all your stories now and I hope you would give consideration to coming back to this story and either giving it another chapter or an epilogue. But that's the fan of your story in me talking, of course it's perfect as it is.
Keep writing and I'll keep reading. (I hope you give consideration to writing more in the Living Dolls story as well). :)
I am a fifty year-old father of three teen-agers - gifted athletes and potential scholars every one.
Sure, I experienced the same amazing rush of emotions as so many other readers have posted about . . . pride, horror, shock, amusement, tears (yes, grown men DO cry) and laughter . . . lots and lots of laughter. Sometimes even laughter and tears together.
But what I feel is most remarkable of all (for me at least), is to find myself thinking seriously about passing the URL link to this story to my teen-age sons . . . sex scenes and all.
MarshAlien, I expect that you have heard before that you have a remarkable ability to tell a great story. Bless you for sharing that gift with all of us. Bless you, indeed!
Kept me glued to the monitor all day I think that tommorrow I will start in on your other works but not tonight as I want to get to sleep. :)
Keep writting and I will keep reading and enjoying.
Just as someone else mentioned no sequels please. (though a prequel might be good if done just right and kept short about those three lost years and his jerkhood)
That was THE most beautiful story I've read. I'd never expected to come across something so fulfilling and uplifting(spiritually) out here...
Please do keep writing more n more... I got all misty-eyed...
You're an amazing writer!
I love your style :)
Enjoyed the series very much.
Funny!