All Comments on 'Ashley's Revenge Ch. 11'

This is an excellent series. I really appreciate the "build-up" in each chapter. I hope the next chapter isn't delayed quite so long, I've enjoyed each one and look forward to them!!

i hope the wife catches them sometime soon....Ashley needs to learn this is not acceptable behavior....

Wonderful.... Reminds me of my affair!

I love this series and hope you are going to continue. Not sure how you will end it, but can't wait to find this out. The span between Chapter 10 and Chapter 11 was a bit too long. Hope you publish Chapter 12 in less time. Keep it up, this is one of my very favorite.

This guy is really living the dream. Can't decide whether I want Ashley to get her way or for her to really get punished in the end! Keep it up!

The wife should catch them, and then be shown the door.

Must you remind us of it every fucking paragraph? You mention her by name 250 times in this story, and that is not an exaggeration. There are some paragraphs that mention her four times. That's just lazy. The storyline is intriguing but the execution is horrible, and what's worse is no one is calling you on it. The readers just blindly approve, most likely because they can't type constructive criticism with one hand. You have some talent, but there's more to writing that a good idea. There's no shame in using an editor. Get one. You'll find that it will make you better. Then again, maybe you just want to annoy those of us that can tell the difference between a novice and someone that works at their craft.

Actually, it looks like I used "Ashley" 267 times in that chapter. As I've mentioned, this is my first attempt at writing and I AM a novice that is learning as I go. This chapter was a bit different as it contained a lot of dialog between three characters and it's possible that it could have been handled a bit better.

I find it funny that you rip my writing and ask if I'm trying to annoy people with my horrid writing skills but you do so hiding behind the "Anonymous" tag. Since the repetition annoyed you so much, are you offering to edit further chapters as we move forward?

Thanks for reading!

i am so ready for us to find out if and who the wife was fucking around with.is she meeting a lesbian lover,if so will she want to have ashley too?is she fucking another man if so will they divorce and then keep their lovers? come on already and solve the issues they are having then we can get to the fucking of ash and lindsey as a more then 1 off thing.

First of all, ignore the anonymous moron complaining about the use of Ashley's name. It was not distracting and did fit well.

Overall, I love this series and I can't wait for the next chapter. This series is very well written and the sex scenes just keep getting better. I can't wait for the scene where he finally takes her sweet ass. I also can't help but wonder what else that GPS has to show.

It is a persistent myth that cold showers reduce the libido, the truth is that cold showers increase the bodies production of sex hormones which increases the libido.

So once again the law of unintended consequences bites people in the ass.

Bring that part of the story to its end.

When someone doesn't have the backbone to leave a name it can seem like they are hiding. Some feel that if you are willing to accept anonymous praise, you have opened yourself up for critics to do the same. That said, if there are really over 250 (I'll trust you on that. I didn't bother to count) then 'anonymous's' comments might have some merit. I do think an editor could be of benefit. In the first paragraph you write "I smelled the distinct smell of bacon wafting through the air". I mean really, he smelled a smell? I would think an editor would have pointed that out. I read it as "The distinct aroma of bacon wafted through the air" in my head, but that's me. We all have different flows in these things. There's no one 'right' way. There are certainly some wrong ways. There is only one 'your' way. I trust if you are new at this and you are continuing to do it as multiple chapters suggest, then striving to solve the riddles of good writing will appeal to you. Don't let the negative bring you down. Use it to build you up. But don't ignore it. Sometimes what makes us better, in anything, is exactly what we didn't want to hear.

Continued happy writing!

NA

Thank you, Allie. I don't mind criticism, I do mind when people insult me and the readers when dishing out their criticism. I am always looking to improve and hope that I do get better as I move along.

If there are any experienced editors willing to go through the story and help me polish it out a bit more, please send me a message in the feedback section with your contact info!

Thanks again to everyone that's reading and commenting, good or bad!

Loving this series, reminds a bit of the The Reawakening of Dr. Clark series-which i hope one day gets continued-keep up the good work, just hope it doesn't take so long for the next chapter

Generally speaking I like this story even if there is way too much sex and not enough story line development. However, after reading eleven chapters I am beginning to wonder when and how this story is ever going end. I think the author has reached the point that over another chapter or two this story needs to reach its conclusion.

George in Omaha

Too much sex? There's too much sex?!?!? What do you expect? It's erotic fiction. Geeze, some of you commenters are ridiculous.

Outstanding. I've been checking daily for ch 11 and was very pleased with this latest segment of the story. Keep it up.

enjoying the series so far and trying to guess how it will end. Keep writing!

some have said, and you responded, that there is too much sex. I think what people are saying is that it all seems to be pretty much the same. the only differences are the clothing and the verbage.

The GPS. if it is a tracker, he would know where the tracker started and where it ended up on each trip. where did the trip begin when she went to the no-tell-hotel and where did she go after?

and why is there almost no mention of the spa weekend this time? if she really is doing something it is now. and possibly with her sister. just sayin.

any update on the next chapter?

I'm starting to lose interest due to lack of updates. You spewed out update after update in rapid succession last time and then shifted tempo to typical Literotica pace. I get it, writing takes a while. I'm for sure not a 'creator' so my criticism isn't truly fair - apologies to you.

End the story or speed up the updates, my good friend.

The amount of sex is perfect. I love this story. I'm really looking forward to seeing what's going on with the wife.

Don't worry about what these other people are saying. It's awesome. Keep up the good work!

Your absolutely smashing this story xx

Incredible! He needs to fuck their hot tight asses.