by TheTalkMan
I've read your story "you cannot handle me". It was a great read. Hope this one would be as good.
No matter the genre I read everything you were write. And you're the only writer on this site I can say that about. Another great read will it continue?
It gets ruined with overly long paragraphs inserted as the boy's side comments after every second dialogue. When the story gets going, and the couple are teasing or just building up to the actual sexual act, it breaks up that good flow when we're being reminded every now and then that how that couple is going to fuck each other's brains out in an hour. That element of your erotica was a huge turn off for me and I had to skip those side comments to enjoy it. Other than that, good piece of writing and will surely check out your other works.
You have a great talent for writing mom & son stories. You Couldn't Handle me is my favorite story on this site and it looks like you haven't lost your touch. I'd love to read an alternate ending to You Couldn't Handle me where the mom out fucks the son
You Couldn't Handle Me is one of my favorite stories of yours, so I'm glad to see you do another mom/son story. I like your style because most incest stories fall into the cliche of the mom teaching the shy son, or the son teaching the reluctant mom. So it's refreshing to see a story where the mom and son are both sexually confident, attractive people who know how to fuck. It's very hot how they're driven by pure lust, and especially how he's an lazy arrogant teenager but she doesn't care, she just needs his cock.
Although, I have to agree with groot that the frequent interruptions about how they're about to fuck were unnecessary. You don't have to beat us over the head with it, you told us already in the introduction. That doesn't improve the suspense, it kills it.
That said, I hope the ending wasn't a tease and you do plan on writing a sequel, I'd love to read it.
You are one of my favorite authors, but this story, along with all of the others you have posted in the last three years, is severely lacking. You do know how to setup the mood, but it is ruined by absolute shit dialogue and redundant descriptions. In this story alone, for example, Kyle described his mother's breasts more than fifteen times, if not more. That is not only redundant, but extremely lazy and unnecessary. The dialogue is where this story, in particular, really struggles and it needs to be refined significantly. Also, there was no imminent pregnancy in this story, even though it was implied in the end - and that is not good, especially when that is one of your particular fetishes that you do write about very well.
If you want to learn how to write dialogue properly, you should read klrxo's BSTC series. Not only does she know how to set the mood, but the dialogue in her later stories is exceptional. If you read her earlier stories pre-2003, when she first began to post stories to this site, you will also notice what an amateur she started out as. But, my oh my, did she get her groove on years later. She went from being an absolute amateur as a writer, to being the absolute best author on this site. I wish I could say the same for you, but you aren't anywhere close to her caliber.
I'm sorry if that offends you, but this is meant to be constructive criticism; I want to see you grow and write better stories, not languish away in mediocrity like so many authors on this site do. You have the potential to be one of the best, if not the best, authors on this site and elsewhere - but right now, it is potential that remains untapped.
Basically this is just a mini version of 'you couldn't handle me' - which is by
no means a bad thing as its my fave mom/son story of all time.
A good stop gap, but still waiting for that epic return to grandness.
Mediocre at best. Way too much dialogue, especially in the sex scenes themselves, and it's not even good dialogue. It's worse than badly-written porn movies; I can't mute this.
This is also a prime example of why I much prefer incest stories where the mother is divorced or a widow. When the father is still around and is a good man, it just makes everyone else look like massive pieces of shit. The son here even acknowledges that his father worked as hard as he did to make a good life for his family, and this is how the man is repaid? And I'm willing to bet the mother has never said a word to her husband about how he's working too much and is neglecting her in bed. He's busting his ass to provide for them, and what he gets in return is total and complete disrespect. I mean, he does everything for his family, and they can't even be bothered to go to a company event with him once in a while?
With a family like that, you don't need enemies. Not my cup o' tea. 2 stars.
...I like your nasty cuckold stuff, but I like incest stories even more, so this is a good read. I look forward to the obvious sequel.
Could not make it past the 1st page. All the "Mom was about to..." commentary was just too annoying.
No great challeges , tension or drama unlike multiple TheTalkMan masterpieces but the carnal scenes were molten hot as per his usual. That's the most important thing in terms of this locale. The cucked dad caught minimal disparagement . The author must be in mellow mood. Good for him but he chose only to excel at one level ...for now.
Why " You Couldn't Handle Me " isn't in hall of fame is an indictment on standards used for that honor. I thank the author for sharing.
My favorite part of the story is when the dominant mom takes control and says shes going to fuck the son so hard it's going to force him to cum. I love these dominant moms similar to Tanya in "You Couldn't Handle Me" who can out fuck anything.
Best thing by the author I've read. Usually he turns readers off by making people victims. This is an improvement.
Good story. Only gave it a 4. With all the fucking between mother and son there should be pregnancy. I fucked my mother constantly for 2 months and mom got pregnant. Mom found out two weeks before dad arrived back from is Army tour of duty.
Great job! I've been waiting for another super hot incest story from you since The Phillips Family Curse. I'd like to read a follow up to both that and this story.
Keep it going. Though I do like the cheating angle and men being seduced to cheat.
Absolutely amazing story. I hope you'll write the continuation, sooner rather than later, but I guess I'm just being selfish, hehe. It was a great change of pace compared tou your more 'darker' themes, and I loved it. Both the writing and the sex scenes were fantastic. 5 stars! Thanks a lot for your effort and keep up the amazing work.
Guess Mom's been faithful with her contraceptives. Damn!
Nice going TTM. Always good from you. Thanks.
I like your what you write, and I usually don't comment since I think you do a perfectly fine job at it, and love everything you produce. (I check your page every day) I have no problem with Incest as a kink, but this is more of a critique on what I feel like is a problem in this story.
It's feels like the sex was put in more of as an afterthought compared to the elaborate story that seems to be poking at becoming a series. I think you focused too much on how to get a mother and a son to have convincing sex, compared to the actual act itself, and it sort of makes it come off as thoughtless.
That's my opinion on it anyway.
You're my favorite author on this site by far! I've read all of your stories and this is one of my favorite! I wouldve loved if you did more of your cheating style of writing in this story by expanding more on the mom and son sleeping together constantly behind the fathers back but the dirty talk and hot sex easily made up for it. I do hope you write more mom/son stories in the near future though and thanks for not having us have to wait so long to get another story. Looking forward to seeing what you write next!
I'm more a fan of your other work but I'm definitely not complaining bout this. Great as always.
That was one of the best and hottest stories I've read in a long time. I absolutely loved the filthy sex talk and hope it returns in any sequels that I hope are on the way. Speaking of sequels, I have a possible occurrence that could conceivably happen (even though it's not looked on favorably even in the incest community). Considering how much cum the mother took the first time they fucked, not to mention all the other times, I think it'd be likely and hot if mom had a child with Kyle.
I've been reading literotica for 6 years and never felt the need to comment until now...your stories are absolutely outstanding, and I sincerely hope you'll write more in the coming months.
Have you thought about starting a tumblr or Twitter just to keep fans updated with progress - I check regular for updates & it would be nice to know how far away the next story is !
Maybe disable comments & make it a one way thing as trolls would no doubt start to annoy you !
First of all, I gave you 5 stars, so any criticism to follow should be taken in that context.
I, personally, like the dialog during the sex scenes. It communicates their abandon and excitement in the moment better than any choreography or narration. Really hot and gripping! (Note: this is one of the places where the repetition and redundancy proves to be a good thing.)
But, as others have mentioned, the frequent heads-up that this was going to lead to sex was unnecessary (why do you think your readers open your story in the 1st place?) and it de-escalated the delicious tension of the build-up/lead-up to the sex (stop TELLING everyone that there will be sex and SHOW us that sex is in the air.)
Please ignore the comments about pregnancy. I am sure you will include it in a second part if you want to, as you did in "You Couldn't Handle Me." A story like yours can be good with or without that. Likewise with the cuckold stuff. I'm no fan of pregnancy, but I wouldnt complain about its presence, and I find it silly when others complain about its absence.
There were some grammar errors, a rare spelling error and the repetition that misses more often than it hits...but, for fucks sake!...it was a fun, hot sexy romp, and I enjoyed at all the way through!
Please keep up the great work!
-O.F.
i'd like to read about mom meeting some of his girlfriends or mom watching him with other women and she wonders if she is into women
I am far from a regular on this site and until now, have never commented but this story was too good not to share my appreciation. I will definitely check out your other work. Nice job!
I have read a lot of stories from this site but this is the first time am giving a 5 star.
Big Tits Tight Fit is outstanding...
Mother finds out she's pregnant with her son's child, so they go away for the weekend as the father is away on business for a week, the son bring another young woman with big tits back to the cabin they're at for sex, the mother angry & upset watching her son strips off & joins them for some hot sex over the weekend.
Great writer! I find myself wondering how much of this story is repeated
by lucky people who can share mind blowing experiences. Given the clarity you
present leads me to think its true- at least I hope it is !!
Thanks
Jack
Really enjoyed the read it kept me captivated all the time from start to finish. Great
I'm hooked on this story just like mom & son are hooked on each other. Awesome story, can't wait for the rest of it. I'm thinking the now bored lonely house wife goes back to college...with her son of course. Thanks for this one!
Enjoyed this story so much, from the writing (not obvios) to the story itseld. Came hard!!
Ok so you're dangling the carrot nicely on the sequel. I must say that your stories are top notch and I always enjoy reading them! Keep them cumming!
I have read tons of stories but this one was one of the best. The storyline flowed all the way to the very end. Wanting more but being totally satisfied. Beautifully done.
I think the depiction of his stamina through very lengthy fuck session was very well done. Her complete abandonment to her lust was very compelling. Great story!
Please please please write a sequel to this amazing story. I can't get enough of this big tited mother. I want to know what happens next and what depravity they get into next. Also what size are her tits?
Well, it needs to be written. Urgently. Because DAMN!
The one single thing this story misses on is an expansion of the anal...
You had a five star story but you played the stupid kids game at the end... leaving your readers in suspense... waiting for a sequel that was never going to materialize'.... and, for me, that reduced it to a three star story. I do NOT reward assholes by giving them high marks for disrespecting their 'customers'. Follow through and put a conclusion to your fucking stories.... Don't leave your readers looking for more and then fail to produce it. If I want to be jerked off I'll do it myself.
Set up was cool but the sex lacked something for me.. Good story overall but last two pages were unnecessary imo. The boner factor was high in the beginning but waned to nonexistent when they fucked for so long... The talk was pretty Good you could lay back on the YYYYYYEEEEEEESSS's I'll still give it 4.
Saturated Mom with Copious Amounts of Cum! Where are the Babies? How many Babies does she have for her Son?
So are you writing the sequel to this??? You have me hooked. I want to know what happens next. Does she say with the husband? Does she just visit from time to time? Or does she leave the husband and moves to his college town?
Sooo many questions that I need answers to.
Oh, and it would of been nice if you elaberated on their first anal experience together.
...texting while driving! They should be ashamed of themselves!
That first page is so awful not sure why I kept reading but second page was the best of the story. All downhill from there. Perhaps you could rewrite first page?
Too much chat and telling of the future when just want you to get on with it.
I couldn't make it past the first page due to how you kept referencing how you were going to fuck her. Like we get it you are going to fuck her, that's the whole point of the story but build the suspense.
She was an awesome mom mom that would fuck and suck her son to happiness you can't ask for better fucking
And the core of the story was erotic, but.
Saying the same thing again and again and again was distracting and boring. It was probably meant to emphasize and enhance the drama but it backfired.
Making it even worse was repeating poor grammar. Me and Mom are going to. Me and Mom are. Me and mom will.
Me don't think so. Me have trouble reading this.
A proof reader would help.
Sorry, it could have been so much better.
Doesn't mean what you think, obviously. Unless she's also an offensive linesman in the NFL and this is how you hinted it in your description.
The side comments were annoying, but the constant comments to his dick! Please! Okay, he’s got a big dick, we get that. After that’s mentioned 20 times we get big teenage dick. We already knew that. There are many more comments about the guys dick that the woman’s tits, pussy or anything. I agree with other readers that the story is good at the core. And it could use some proofing but it’s not a bad read and it is different. I would like a sequel but with less repetition.
Still waiting for the sequel to this HOTTT tale..!!
PLEASE... SOON..!!!
Really liked the way the story started. & then dropped back, too bad there was so much time was spent on cum cum swallowing & blow jobs.
I'm being generous giving a three star rating. This story could be summed up in a couple sentences: Joe Jock fucked his brick shithouse mom two days ago, then spent eight pages bragging about what a stud he is.
We got it. You don't have to beat the readers up repeatedly telling them, "Fucked my gorgeous brick shithouse mom." Did you think someone would forget, so you just beat 'em over the head?
Here's a thought: Try telling the story, maybe using some narrative to describe situations and set scenes from the characters perspective. Add dialogue to allow the characters to talk and tell their own story. Instead of him standing in front of a mirror and thinking, "I'm such a fucking stud," let Mom describe him, or better yet, let them notice things about each other gradually, instead of doing a data-dump.
And, for heavens sake, what are you thinking, giving away the ending before the story even starts: "Duh, I fucked my mom." Well, okay, reader, go read something else. You got the nuts and bolts out of this story. Everything else is just window dressing.
The pacing was perfect. The descriptions of characters, very vivid. I loved the build-up, the use of clothes, the "teenage-voice" that you utilized so well. The sex scenes were very gratifying. Some paragraphs were long for a webpage read, but that's a technical detail. 5/5. You should delete the douchebag comments.
I enjoyed it, but would have really liked to have heard more detail about them fucking over the summer. Plus how his mom gave up her ass. Hope you will fill in the missing details.
Get off your FUCKING ASS and finish this,
I know you have other stories in the works.
BUT THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH!!!!
I LOVE YOUR STORIES .
NOW FINISH THIS DAMN IT.
8 pages far too long. Story line good and there is a lot of truth in it. Mothers and Sons have desires for each other. Mainly growing pains for the son as he matures and for Mum seeing the little boy she bought into the world develop into a man and wonder what's lurking in his boxers. All boys have sly glances at mothers in nighties with no bras.
Will read one more and decide on others if not too drawn out.
Still a good story.
Keep writing.
REgards
finish it please I want to know what happens to they live with each other after dad dies or does he let his son chuckhole him since he is better at fucking his mom than his dad
I don't think I've ever seen anyone talk so much, yet say so little! And you must have recently bought a Thesaurus! Sorry, I couldn't finish the story.
I really don't like these stories were the husband/ father is disrespected, a good old fashioned azz whooping would be called for, and the both need to be tossed in the street! 2.0 Stars at most.
I still wonder what you writers of stories like this fail to see is that 18 yr old boys are not as dumb an inexperienced as they make out. You guys need to do a little
more research on the sexual prowess of boys between 14 yrs and 18 yrs and you will find that they have had more sexual encounters than you think and can very well handle themselves with fucking girls and milfs and many do have sex with older women. The reason that they can seduce older women is because most older women are sex starved because of neglect by their Husbands and young cock has its appeal. The incest between sons, mothers, sisters, aunts and cousins is quite common. Sons fucking neighbors is also quite common or friends mothers as well.
You Gotta Write more chapters and Finish it,!!!! DOES SHE Visit him At College? You can go so Many ways with this finish it plz
learn how to write or most likely even speak.
Me and her went...? Mom and me fucked? Do you speak like that? I'm so sorry.
I’ve been waiting years for a second part to this tale I would love to read about their summer of fucking and the choice the mother and son make
Above and beyond mother/son sex. Too bad there wasn’t a daughter to be had.... but still one of the best tales here!
A very good story. Fuck the Anonymous comment that tells you "people do not talk like that". Bullshit, in the heat of lust words take on so many meanings, sentences start and stop randomly, there is no proper grammar used in real sex. If anonymous thinks there is he/she must be cold-blooded and has never had real sex.
Write a lot more, that boy has plenty more cum to spread around.
I stopped reading once he spanked her. I knew where this was gonna go. It would've been fine if he hadn't been a prick, but like some guys he was. Every time I've heard/seen a guy do that in fiction he's sexist and enjoys calling a lady all sort of degrading things. This would lead to being rough with her (and I've never understood why a guy would like to cause pain to a beautiful woman, especially during sex). And seeing the rosa-blanca.ru confirmed my suspicions...damn it, it's irritating. I was taught by women it's disrespectful and disgusting to do anything like that to a woman.
Good story, well written. I've written some myself and I don't care for Anonymous smack from people that can't or don't contribute.
My stuff is different, of course, and one thing I'd have liked to see is Mom's measurements. But that's just me.
Keep writing!
Of course I want to know what happens after a mother and son spend the entire summer fucking each others brains out! Start writing please!
Three, maybe four pages too long. Silly onomatopoeia of the noises people supposedly make while fucking aren't hot, they're stupid. It's fine to mention a couple of times how enormous the mom's tits and the son's cock are, but there comes a point where it's just excess. Two full pages of waxing poetic about whether the mom will want to fuck again is just unnecessary. The story had some potential, and I understand that it wasn't taking itself seriously, but it's just too fat.
The guy sounds like a pompous douche right off the bat, very offputting.
The set up could have been a little shorter readers like to get good descriptions including measurements of the participants and at least 1 follow up story to continue the story.
Please write a second part to this. This story is one of my favorites.
Is the soon to graduate monster cock son going to give us a recap of his Mother's cravings and wants, that followed him to college and through the summer holidays?
Should be very interesting. We may even find out he was accepted into Law School. Looking forward to this next chapter. Very much enjoyed the 1st chapter.
You could have made it little more personal, but also a little too much adlib on the fucking part went on a way to long not getting too the point sooner. Also you need to respect your mom character much more as well, say by cleaning up your bedroom and make things better for a little more action. You indicated just when you and mom first fucked as she said that if you were to clean up your room that she my repay you with more action, but it seems you forgot about that while you wallowed because she took a couple day to decide whether to continue fucking you.
A little less talk, a little more acton... Too much pondering about the situation.
You almost ruined it in the beginning by constantly bring up that they would have sex in the near future. Once or twice? Ok anything more is overkill and annoying to see.
If you do continue this story. I think once the boy is in college after the first month away from his mother, she makes a point of going to see him only to confront him that he is going to become a father and his dad has come to realize that its not his and has tried to get her tell him who she has been screwing around with .
Keep writing great stories like this....it feel like they are sitting here telling you the story live
I was waiting for the son to ask mom, "You said I was better then all the other men you had been with. How many?" She would reply, "Your father is a good attorney, but without me and my body being with the other partners he never would have been made a partner. And by the way, I know a few other women that would want to meet you." I really enjoyed this story as did my sister.
I wonder of the people that are falling over all themselves saying what a great story this was. It wasn't . . . unless one has low standards. You kept on repeating yourself over and over again and that gets annoying real quick pal as does the constant references to Mr. Wonderful' s big dick. Standards people... do you have them?
I honestly loved this story, and this MILF as well! I hope she gets to show off that sexy outfit some more. Not to mention I'm curious what the last line means. Do they get caught? Does she get knocked up? I hope we get the answer someday!