Cougar House Ep. 017: Sauna Loa

Late afternoon gave way to boredom. Margo Needy was going stir crazy being alone all day since the boys had all gone off to work. Tense after her earlier workout regimen she was ready for a much-needed pampering. Killing time dusting and neatening things around her home was winding down. Laundry done and put away she was running out of ideas. Taking time to sit down and relax in her front room she opted to send her son a text saying, "I miss you." It took Elliot ten minutes to reply back, "Miss you too Mom." Knowing it to be very early over in Paris, it shocked her that he even replied. A smile made her risk more texting. Taking an innocent selfie of a warm smile she types, "Sorry if I woke you."

Moments later he replies, "I was already awake. Had homework I needed to proofread." That led her to offer him a way out, "Should I let my handsome genius go?" He answered with a humorous, "LOL! It's cool. Are you getting along with the guys?"

Eyes flaring, she whispers with a cat like purr, "Fabulously." Then types, "Brian's brother Jeffrey came out last night. Doesn't he look like Superman?" She recalls him fucking her really hard after sneaking into her room posing as his brother. "Man of Steel indeed! Billow that cape! Too funny! Now I'm picturing Brian pulling my sheet off me like a tablecloth. The sheet is Superman's cape."

"He better not be trying anything. I'll Lex Luthor his ass. LOL!" Elliot threatened amusingly.

"He was a gentleman." Elliot need not know the truth. "All of the boys are very...helpful."

"Uh-huh!" He sends a rolling eyes emoji.

"You wanted them here to help keep me company young man. They are doing just that." Her next text sent, she fans herself giggling, "Thank you Elliot." She would be forever grateful for her son suggesting it. He had to know the boys would eventually hit on her. For all she truly knew he might have instigated it. Hearing of Elliot's crush on her from all of them, including his videoing her masturbating gave her suspicions. Why would he do that? A young boy's angst was her only conclusion. What did bother her was he being her son, although only on paper, he adopted. As far as Margo knew she and her late husband Darryl had kept their sex life from Elliot. Yet, he obviously had his own desires for Mom. It was disturbingly cute.

"So, nobody's tried anything?" He digs.

"They flirt. Nothing too extreme. Whistles mostly. I'm not worried Elliot." She types adding, "How is your friend Farouk?"

"He's cool. He still thinks that video you sent was for him. LOL!"

"I should never have done that. Can you forgive me?"

"It was weird, but I don't mind."

"I don't know what came over me. I was so embarrassed after I sent it."

"No sweat Mom. I wasn't mortified. LOL!"

"How could you not be? I'm your mother, I should not be doing things like that."

"Probably not, but I'm not mad, hurt, or embarrassed of you. I love you, Mom."

"I love you too Elliot. More than life."

"I better get this homework read before I have to get my shower. Skype here soon when I find time?"

"Absolutely."

"Night Mom. Tell the guys I said hey."

"Bye Elliot." A kissing smiley face ended their talk. "Why didn't I ask his thoughts on my Bed & Breakfast idea? There's time still." She fidgets before being startled by her doorbell. Hesitant, being alone miles out in the mountains she worries who might be way out here. Hopping up she straightens her thin peach colored silk charmeuse slip, that hid very little, gritting her teeth at not having a robe to put on in just these strange cases. Going to the door she peeks through the peephole to see a man in his mid to late 30's with a receding hairline. Utilizing an intercom system beside the door she says, "May I help you?"

"Hi! I'm Eric's dad, Dale. I finally found time in my schedule to fix that ceiling fan."

"Oh, hello Dale. Ummm! I wasn't expecting anyone until much later in the evening. I'm a bit underdressed."

"Bad time?"

"Nooo! Eric needs that fan working. Are you shy?"

"Not really. I can give you time to go get dressed."

Grimacing she just unlocks and opens the door, leaning behind it. "I'm dressed, just not appropriately. If you can cope I can."

"Not a problem. Margo, right?"

"Yes." She opens the door all the way and lets him see her entire body, her nipples shredding the silk, cleavage rivaling the Poconos. Long legs freshly shaven said hello from her thigh gap down. Extending a hand, he shakes hers gently, his eyes trying hard to behave.

"My boy said you were a looker. I guess I should have helped him move his bed a few days back. I was pretty busy. Glad Brian helped him haul that out. Anyways, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine. I can see where Eric gets his good looks." She winks then ushers him in, "Please come on in. I'll show you to Eric's room." Closing the door behind them she takes the lead as he follows behind her with his tools. Without modesty Margo wiggled her way up the stairs, her ass cheeks fluttering into view with each step, one cheek or the other all the way up as if winking at him. Certainly, no panties. Dale Crowe was already sweating hard, not from the 80-degree temp either. He was going to have a long talk with his son over this landlady. All good.

"Right over here Dale. Do you need a ladder?" She opens Eric's bedroom door to reveal the ceiling height. Examining the room first he looks to the ceiling fan. The room was larger than he predicted, this well-kept mansion being old.

"Stepstool?" He settled.

"I'll be right back." She smiles and leaves him behind. As soon as she rounds the doorway, Dale eases silently to the door watching her walk down the hall toward the upstairs laundry room. At the door inside she bends over to pick some lint off the floor, in doing so Dale saw her bare ass, clam shining bright. He had to hiss at her perfection. No wonder his son wanted to live here. Hell, Dale might leave his wife and rent a room. Deciding to duck back in before she returned Dale unpacked a screwdriver to dismantle the outer casing of the fan.

"Here we go Dale." Margo enters with a three-step stool, unfolding it for him.

"That works. How old is this house?"

"Well over 100 years old. My husband had it remodeled during his early Coaching career."

"I recall ole' Darryl. Big fan back in the day."

"Eric did tell me you were. When you're done, I'll let you see his trophy room. Tons of memorabilia in there."

"Sounds great. Sorry to hear about his passing a few years back."

"Not quite at three years yet but thank you Dale. I miss him."

"I went to school at Penn State when he played ball. Met him at a frat party one time ever."

"Oh? Do tell." She was eager to hear of his younger days before they married.

"Party animal for sure. Girls..." He hesitates.

"All over him? I've heard."

"Yeah, Big man on campus does that."

"Knowing Darryl as I did, I'm far from shocked. Why do you think he chose me? 20 years younger than he was."

"You look in your twenties still."

"Aww! Thank you, Dale. I feel young. Wait! If you went to school with him, you must be older than you look."

"Hit 50 yeah, I'm a lot older than my wife Georgia too. I guess Darryl and I had that in common. I bet living with four boys still in their party stage is something."

"I haven't noticed them being to heavily into partying, other than the one they threw my son Elliot before he went off to Paris, France."

"Eric told me that. Genius IQ and all. You must be proud of him."

"I am. I truly hope he makes a name for himself someday."

"Man, it's hot in here." He wipes his forehead on his shirt.

"I wish I could turn the AC on, but you would not believe the power bill when I do. We were paying in the upwards of $1,000 a month in the summer. With money tight I dare not turn it on. I do feel bad for the boys having to endure this hotbox."

"Like a sauna in here."

"Strange that I have an unused sauna in the basement." She giggles, "I really only use it in the winter months."

"Sweat enough without that. No wonder you stay fit." He smirks.

"You noticed."

"No offense Margo, but a guy has to be blind not to notice you."

"Good eyesight must run in your family." She winks.

"I better get at this fan. I doubt it's a wire it's probably just ran its lifespan. Reason I asked how old the home is, I was curious because these old Victorian homes are usually on their original wiring. I'm guessing when your husband had it remodeled, he probably updated the wiring."

"Truthfully, I don't know if he did. I would hope he had but he was focused on the cosmetic to make it beautiful."

"Beautiful you are...I meant to say it is." He blushes lowering his eyelids at his mistake.

"No reason to blush Dale. Thank you and thank you again. I should probably go get dressed, I'm distracting you."

"A pleasant distraction you are. I'm fine with what you're wearing, just don't tell my wife."

"What would Eric say should he come home and see me wearing so little in front of his Father?" She beguiles him with dazzling eyes.

"I'd hope he'd say, you go Dad." He chuckles.

"That does sound like Eric." She watches him climb the stepstool and begin removing the mounting screws. Margo did notice a nice big bulge in the man's slacks. Her wiles were always designed to intensify circulation. Thinking of Dale, she did turn on Eric's pedestal fan for a slight breeze. He grinned down at her.

"Doesn't help much does it?" He grins.

"Not even going nude helps." She grits her teeth, "I guess I shouldn't have said that."

"Kinda hard doing that living with four boys isn't it?"

"Very." Not at all!

"Mind if I ask...you wear things like this around them? Not a guilt trip." He laughs dropping the mounting beneath the fan's interior.

"I get away with it on occasion. They're all very respectful of me." Lies, all lies.

"Forgive me when I say I know the Hancock boys. I rather doubt that. I've known their dad Bruno since we were kids ourselves. All hellions. Even his daughter Lucy."

"I haven't met Bruno. The boys should invite all of their families out for a cookout one of these days."

"Not bringing my wife near you." He laughs, "She'd be grabbing our earlobes and dragging us to the car. Eric's mom is a bible thumper these days. She gave up on us long ago, not even our daughter Lily goes to church with her. Good woman but you have to walk a razors edge around her. Mind holding the light fixture?" He carefully lowers the bulbs and globes into her possession. He did notice her micro thin shoulder straps drooping over her shoulders allowing her silky charmeuse to slip down some, only massive breasts kept it held up. Those nipples were as good as any coat hanger.

"Well, then maybe a father, son get together." She bats her lashes playfully, holding the light array at arm's length away from her chest to avoid getting dust on herself. This being Eric's room he should be the one to clean it.

"Grill out some steaks and have a few beers with our boys? Sounds like a fine plan." He uses a wire tester on the power source in the fan then growls, "Power to it. I'm guessing it's just a burnt-out motor. I'll buy a new fan for him; he can leave it when he moves out. They're pretty cheap."

"Well, we could transplant the fan from my son's bedroom until you can get back out here with a new one. If you don't mind taking the time to switch them out. I know it works because when we discovered this one not working, I tested all of the bedroom fans."

"Sure, I have time. Maybe by the time I get it working my boy will show up and he can thank me. Is he working at the theater today?"

"Earlier I believe. He mentioned something about shopping."

"Then, he should be buying a new ceiling fan." Dale jests.

"It really is my responsibility to buy one. They're not that expensive as you said. What kind of landlady am I if I deny the boys coolness?" She admits looking up at him as he removes the motor. While standing there her charmeuse slips more over her breasts, she could feel it ever so slowly wanting to show off her tits. She shivered but let it do whatever it decided to do. In the end Dale might get an eye full. She was fine with that.

Once unhooked Dale lowers his gaze toward Margo and spots her increased cleavage. He says nothing but dreads coming down, the view was stunning. "That getting heavy?" He opts for conversation as she lifts her head from her chest, busted for watching her slip escaping.

"The light or my charmeuse?" She fans her eyes at being caught. "It's slipping away."

"Both. Want me to take that off of you?" He chuckles, "The bulbs not the slip."

"If you don't, I'm going to lose it. The charmeuse not the lights. I'm not picking up glass."

He steps down on to the floor holding the motor in his own hands. Predicament as it was, he couldn't hold both. Her slip sagged down to her nipples, offering areola. All it would have taken was a sneeze and the slip would have glided to her toes. "Just sit it on the bed." He said as she sighed. Too late down it went.

"I'm so sorry Dale."

"I'm not. Just let it go and let's find a spot to stash this bad fan."

"I feel foolish."

"No, you don't." He rolls his eyes, "A body like yours deserves daylight. My boy bragged about you; he wasn't kidding."

"Bragged?"

"He and I bond Margo. I know you're having sex with my son. I can see why he'd want to."

"He did?" She giggles feigning a blush, "Your son is very talented."

"That runs in the family too. And no I'm not hinting at a chance of hitting that."

"Now I'm going to pout." She laughs, "We can put these parts in the hall closet for now. I'll have it taken to the garbage by one of the boys later." She steps out of her fallen slip and parades around Dale nude. He merely followed her until they stored the fan away, blades and all.

"So, which way to the replacement fan?"

"Elliot's room is over there." She leads the way as Dale admires her bare ass dancing from side to side.

"Gotta say, that is one perfect ass."

"I won't tell your wife you're drooling." She winks at him over her shoulder.

"Good, I don't need a sermon about lust, she might want to pluck my eye out."

Opening Elliot's door, she allows him in while standing off to the side of the threshold. Entering awkwardly his elbow grazes her nipple and he jumps slightly with a look of horror, he hadn't intended on touching her at all.

"Relax Dale if anyone is going to sue for sexual harassment it will be you. I personally like being harassed." She giggles, "I'll go back for the stepstool. You calm your blood pressure."

"Sorry if I seem skittish, been awhile since I've seen a naked woman outside of Georgia, let alone touched one."

"Was that a touch? It felt more like a fly by." With a wink she headed back to Eric's room. As she gathered up the stepstool and headed out Eric's door, she heard the front door open and close. Pausing to see who it was she noted Eric step into view. Looking up at Margo he nearly busted a blood vessel in his eyeballs.

"My dad's truck is outside."

"He's in Elliot's room. We're transplanting the ceiling fan from his room to yours."

"Why are you naked?"

"My hands were full, and my slip fell. Your father asked me to leave it off." She sticks her tongue out at Eric as he takes the staircase two steps at a time. Facing her he gnashed his teeth uncertain how to react.

"Dad... asked you to stay naked?"

"Yes. Are you angry with me?"

"No. Just... don't fuck my dad." Guilt suddenly!

"I had no intention of doing so. I'm merely giving him a thrill. I can go get my dress, it's on your bedroom floor."

"DON'T YOU DARE." Dale chuckles in Elliot's doorway looking at the two talking. She smirks, Eric sighs.

"You see what I live with?" Eric shakes his head, "She can't keep her clothing on."

"That is not true. You boys just won't let me keep any on."

"Relax son. This is the most fun I've had since we potty trained your sister. Hell Studly learned faster than she did. That's our sheepdog."

"I recall a picture. Eric wants to bring him out and let him run."

"That might tire him out. He's a ball of energy that's for sure."

"It must run in your family." She winks at Eric. "Why don't you boys finish switching up the fans and I'll go make some lemonade. I'll be downstairs when you're done."

"Sounds good." Dale nods with a pucker. Wiggling away from them Margo intentionally slaps her own ass just to make Eric more nervous. She was in a mischievous mood. Rubbing his chin Dale motions his son to join him. Whispering to Eric his frustrations, "Don't panic I'm not cheating on your mom. Even though we both know she's not giving me any."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry Pop."

"Not your fault kid. We've just... grown apart. Come on and let's disconnect this fan and make your room cooler."

"On it."

As Dale removes the old fan in Elliot's bedroom, Eric hauls the pieces to his room. On the final trip Dale pats his son on the back, "I do envy you son. She's better than any stripper. Even Bruno Hancock's hot ass daughter Lucy. Too bad she's into girls."

"Don't tell me you went to the strip club and ran into her."

"Oh yes! Me and Chuck Dunn snuck out to Foxy's last weekend."

"So that's why you were too busy to help me out."

"You caught me. Only chance I had to escape your mom. You understand right? It's not like I was cheating on her. I just needed to see skin."

"Plenty of it out here. Margo loves to be checked out."

"I can see that."

"Did you tip Lucy?"

"Yep. She gave me a couple pretty steamy lap dances. Glad Foxy's lets the dancers go full on nude. Lucy's a trooper I'll give her that. Fastest twerk I've ever seen."

"Don't let Brian hear you say that."

"Is he here?"

"Not yet. Probably in a few though. Maybe an hour tops unless he stops to see his stepsister."

"Yeah? Bruno showed me Gwen's boob job. Nice and big now."

"How come I haven't seen a pic? What the hell?"

"Dunno. I'd motorboat her if she worked at Foxy's." Dale grins and follows Eric to his room with the folded stepstool under his arm.

"I would too." Like Father like son. "Just be glad Lily doesn't want to be a stripper."

"That would kill me. Let's not even picture that. Your sister's a good kid."

"Just saying. She's having sex these days you do realize that right?"

"Quit talking about your sister. I'm not ready to be a grandpa."

"Inevitable Pop. Let's get this fan working. I need a shower, it's like a sauna in here."

"I said that to Margo earlier. She's actually got a sauna in her basement?"

"Yeah, she does. This place has pretty much everything. Hot tub even though it stopped working too she said."

"I'll check it out another day, it will give me an excuse to come see the Coaches wife."

"Dad? If you want to cheat on Mom... I'll get over it. I love mom but I know what she's doing to you."

"Naaa! I love your mom no matter how many bibles she throws at me. I'll stay faithful. I'm happy with a lap dance now and then from Lucy Hancock and the girls at Foxy's."

"I could have Margo give you a lap dance." Eric smirks.

"Hmmm! That might be nice. We'll see." Dale sets up the stepstool climbing up once again to mount the new motor and wire it. Fifteen minutes later blades and lamps were attached and circulating. It made a small difference in air flow, but the heat persisted. It was still better than it was.

"Thanks Pop." Eric pats his father on the shoulder, "It all helps."

"Anything for my boy."

"Lemonade?"

"Let's go pucker our lips." Dale laughs, "After I wash my hands. Dusty up there."

Eric chuckles, "The maid is usually on top of other chores."

"I bet she is. You still got that feather duster?"

"It's for other things Dad." He laughed.

"Tickling fancies, huh?"

"You might say that. No, I'm not breaking it out so you can have Margo play French Maid."