Critical Response Ch. 02

[Author's note: Lily appears in The Monogamists and The Devil and The Sea as a minor character. Obviously, this level of attention doesn't sit well with her opinion of herself, so she breaks the fourth wall to take me to task]

CRITICAL RESPONSE 2

The office door opens unexpectedly, and I look up from my laptop. Lily is standing there, arms folded.

"Uh, what about knocking?"

"Why?"

"The door was closed. You're supposed to knock at a closed door."

"Why?" Lily asks, a sly grin spreading across her face, "Were you intending on having some private time?"

I close the laptop.

"What do you want, Lily?"

Lily perches on the edge of the desk, the hem of her skirt riding up above her knees. She crosses her legs, making sure I can see her doing it.

"I have a bone to pick with you," she says, flashing me a sweet little smile.

"And I have stuff I need to do."

Lily folds her arms but doesn't budge, looking down at me.

I relent, pushing up out of my seat, trying to level the playing field. Standing, I'm a head taller than she is. It's pretty much the only advantage I have.

"Fine, Lily. You've got my attention. I'm clearly not getting anything done until you're finished."

"You're a fast learner."

Lily swings off the edge of the desk, standing as well. In her heels, she's almost as tall as me. She's playing me at my own game.

"I just wanted to make something clear," she begins, "The story I was in, I wasn't expecting it to finish the way it did."

"How so?"

Her mouth twists. "A fucking happy ending."

"It was always going to be a happy ending, Lily."

"No, I beg to differ. It was a goddamn disaster waiting to happen. Henry and Anya catfishing Jen with that made up Domme, that was a really dumb idea of theirs from the start."

"Dumb?"

"Uh, I mean, not dumb. Dangerous. Jen's a loose unit at the best of times. It should all have gone south, bigtime."

"You're just saying that because...."

Lily rounds on me, suddenly, catching me unawares.

"Because I thought Henry was going to be mine. Yes. That."

Lily stalks over to the window. All I can do is stare at the back of her head. When she speaks again, her tone is more subdued.

"I thought Jen was going to be history. Then Anya would have split because she's got no reason to hang around a guy when she's looking for a wife. Then...," Lily pauses and I know what she's thinking before she says it, "Then I thought Henry was going to be with me."

When she turns around, her face is sombre.

"I thought I was going to get the happy ending, not that bitch."

"I'm sorry. That's not how I planned it."

Lily looks across at the wall and too late I realise what I put there. I look on uneasily as she drifts over to the whiteboard with all its scribbles in different colours. Her brilliant green eyes scan over the surface.

"Is this how you planned it?"

I walk over to the whiteboard and come to a halt just behind her shoulder. The anger has subsided and now I can see she's contemplating.

"So, tell me. Is that it for me, am I done? Was I just a useful antagonist, to give the heroes someone to push back against?"

"Do you want to be done with all this?"

Her head turns and suddenly I'm caught in the full beam of her gaze.

"No. I want to go on, but I don't see how. You've written me out."

"What did you think of Damian?"

Lily wrinkles her nose. "Why?" she asks.

"Just answer the question."

Lily shrugs, appearing noncommittal, but there's something else there.

"He's pretty hot, I guess," she offers, but then she frowns. "Is that it? The inference is that I ride off into the sunset with some married guy?"

She watches me closely for my reaction.

"Does that count as a happy ending for me? Does that tie up my loose end?" she asks sarcastically, but I don't answer.

Eventually, she relents and her attention switches back to the board. She gestures at the scribbles and arrows.

"All these chapters, all these story arcs, they trail off to where? Do you really think you're going to pull all this together into some grand plan?"

"Maybe."

"You finished one story. Now you're busy telling tales about wife-swapping house parties and girls playing chastity games. You're building a full series about people who want to be furniture, for fuck's sake. It's ridiculous. It can't all be going in one direction," she scoffs.

Lily waves her hand. "You're never going to finish all that. You barely made it through my story."

"It wasn't your story."

"You know what I mean," Lily snaps, "I'm at the mercy of someone with nothing but ideas and fluff."

I can see she's upset.

"I think I can finish it," I reply.

"Bullshit."

I take a deep breath and confess, "I've already finished the next three stories. I was just working up a scene in Los Angeles when you barged in."

Lily is silent for a while, contemplating the board.

"Are these all the people in it?" she asks, pointing.

"Yes."

"Am I in here, somewhere?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes," she admits, "Yes, I do."

"Even though it might be hard on you?"

"Yes."

Lily gestures to the words I wrote at the top of the board and reads them aloud, "Per ardua, ad astra. That sounds pretty wanky, you must be a real literary type. What does it mean?"

"Through difficulties to the stars."

"Ah, so you mean you're going to put people through massive shit just to add some drama to the story arc. Have you ever thought about how they'd feel about it, getting fucked over just to add a bit of extra interest?"

"Yes, I have actually. Some of it didn't go the way I planned. They had other ideas, and I had to accommodate."

"So you have a plan. That's awesome. I would love to see it, but all you have are chapter and story codes. Where are these stories if you've already written them?"

"On my laptop."

"So, I could read them?"

"They're password protected," I tell her.

"Because you've got the nuclear codes in there somewhere?" Lily mocks. "Really, who's going to steal them?"

"Eve comes in here sometimes. I don't want to take any chances."

Her fingers trace over the words, stopping on one entry.

"I remember this. Jen and Anya's wedding."

"Me too. That was a hard piece to write."

Lily snorts. "What, because it was all about feelings?"

"Yeah, actually. There's no sex in it, which was a gamble given the expectations of the genre. It was really heavy on the background setting and character exposition."

"And yet, it was one of your highest rated."

"I know, I still haven't figured that out. It seems to break the rules."

I feel Lily's mood shift and some of her earlier cockiness begins to return.

"It's because I elevated that scene. There was no sex, but the readers could imagine what Henry was going to do to me, turning me into a naked phone stand for him to watch his lovers having sex. It was one of my better scenes, if I'm honest. I saved your ratings there. You're welcome."

Lily pauses expectantly.

"Okay," I concede, "You added the interest."

"It also put layers behind the rest of the story. Maybe you should try more of that. Maybe the readers would appreciate a bit more depth rather than the retelling of the old, 'place tab A into slot B and repeat until sopping.'"

"It's a hell of a risk."

Lily flashes me a mocking smile. "Per ardua, ad astra," she says, and turns back to the board.

"You've got me there," I admit.

"I've still got a lot to offer," she replies. Her expression is hard now, challenging.

I watch as her eyes shift from line to line, wondering just how much the cryptic scribbles on the board are revealing to her.

"So, do you want to carry on?" I remind her.

Lily just nods.

"Even with the risk of being put through the wringer?"

"Do you ask all your characters that? Does everyone get that choice?"

"No."

"Then why are you giving me the choice? Do it, whatever it is. Just tell me if I'm a part of it."

I reach out and touch an entry on the board.

"Here you are."

Lily stiffens and I can tell she's shocked.

"Here? This colour? That's me?"

"That's you."

"There's a lot. Do I become a central character?"

"I guess so."

I can see Lily beginning to decode the colours and the story flows. She points up to the top.

"So, this is where I've been, dotted through here," she says, her fingernail clacking on the whiteboard. Then she laughs.

"Hah, so this is Jen. That sucks for her, she's in none of the next part."

"Anya appears though."

"Of course she does. I reckon you've got a special place for her."

She glances at me, but I try and keep my expression neutral. She's too sharp. I can't slip, I need to play a poker face as I watch Lily start to piece together what I'm planning.

Lily taps the board again, tracing her finger down through a set of boxes and into something at the bottom of the board.

"Who's Cassidy, anyway?" Lily asks, "How does she fit into all this?"

I don't answer her, but Lily persists.

"She seems to be at the start of a cascade of events, and I'm in there too, all tangled up in whatever happens."

Lily pauses then, her finger still on the board. I watch a shadow pass across her face.

"Really, I want to know, who is Cassidy to me?"

"You really want to know, Lily?"

"Yes. Just tell me," Lily insists.

The board is forgotten, and Lily's attention is focused on me now. All I can do is tell her the truth.

"She's your downfall."