- Romance
- Kate Gets Her Man
- Page 3
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Click here"May I ask what you think you were doing?" she said.
He smiled and said, "Just getting your attention."
"And why was that?"
"Want to ask you out next Friday night."
"What?"
"I'm asking you out Friday night. So how about it?"
"Have you lost your mind?"
"Look you have been following me everywhere. I'd like to go out to dinner Friday, and so I figure since you will be there anyway ..." he said with a little-amused smile at his own humor.
Leaning into his truck with her own smile, she said, "You are forgetting one thing..."
"Oh, what?"
"I don't date criminals," she said.
He laughed. Stopped, thought a moment, and said, "Well why not? Maybe I want to confess."
"So if I go out with you then you're going to confess?" she said with as much sarcasm as she could muster.
"Sure why not? It's been bothering me," he said.
She had to pause at that. She didn't believe him for a moment, but she was intrigued. He was right, what better way for her to follow and maybe trip him up than to go out with him. If she pushed, he might really make a mistake.
"What time Friday?" she said.
"Say 7:30," he said a broad grin cracking his face.
"Ok, 7:30 pick me up at my house," she said handing him the ticket.
"Good and sorry about this one, but your boss promised he'd fix any more tickets you gave me," He said waving the ticket and laughing.
All she could do was glare at him as he drove off.
Now, what was she going to wear?
*****
This is the end of part one.
If you think you recognize any individuals or event, please remember I made this story up. I also changed and invented geography. Yes, I borrow from my life experience and the places I know, but I write fiction. It's just that and nothing more. Fiction is best when it sails close to the truth. © 2015 by Richard Gerald
- COMMENTS
THIS is a fun story. In reality the officer would have been reprimanded for obsessive and foundation's persecution. She might have been fired. She's the personification of Captain Queg.
Basics are there and get you interested from the off. Will carry on reading.
I have an idea of where I want this to end, but well it can go anywhere.
I want to see Kate come out of this on the good side. I believe the intent is she is going to come out okay. I hope so anyway. I love her, I'll marry her any day. I'm hoping the criminal is really a good guy.
Nice areas north, south, east and west of Rochester to find surface exposures. Wonder if Utica Club tapped the subsurface waters. Wee bit west and north of your Lit., stomping grounds. As to sailing, well there is Lake Ontario.
The link is storiesonline.net, and on sol the story link contains links to each of the parts.
The interesting thing is that SOL says that the story is "In Progress", but there has been no update since 7/9/2015.
Nice beginning. Heck, you even got 3stars from a hypercritical anon who apparently is a member of the grammar police. On to the next chapter!
Nothing too far out in left field. Just an obnoxious cop determined to prove she's right. You'd think that her Boss might sit her down and explain her obsession with Denny was wasting taxpayers money and she could be fired for her actions. Not particularly clever but we'll see where it goes.
As usual, from your LW stories, character development is great. The dialogue is believable and follows the train of thought.
A few technical, english, problems that do not detract from the story.
Gave you 3*s. A very good beginning.
One question, are you going to abruptly change the personality of a character ? That happens often in your LW category stories. Inquiring minds want to know,lol.
AMerryman
I have never read a story quite like this one. You have me hooked.
So far so good. The characters are a bit unbelievable especially the heroine, but then again this is a strory isn't it.
Denny started his run at 7:45, ran 10+ miles, returns to his home spending 30 minutes there before exiting at 8:45. Nobody runs a 3 minute mile and certainly can't string 10 together.
Humm.. thank you, but I went to SOL and there is no Second part, in fact the ending is exactly the same : "Ok, not the usual love story but let me know what you think, and before you ask I don't as yet have a second part."
It's a really good story, like al the stories you write, but aren't you suppose to write a second chapter to "When" ?
Your readers are waiting here, shame on you :)