by NoOneCanNo
Okay this story is so unbelievable that I'm shocked someone wrote 2 pages of this. Shooting puddles of cum 3 metres high in the air, are you kidding me? Sounds like a broken fantasy of a 12 year old. That is not how human body works.
Beautiful story, nice start. Now let's start using the mother as a cum dumpster and depository
Unfinished. Its a fetish story as it is now. Mom needs to get much more involved to become an incest story. Liked it so far though. Good first effort.
Lmao "I think you need to quit writing" summed up my thoughts better than I could have after reading this horror short
Badly written, badly imagined, and badly executed. I don't believe you have the foundation for carrying on with pretending to think you're a writer. You're not, and you've done an excellent job of proving that to everyone unfortunate enough to read this.
Anybody who encourages you to continue is as big of an idiot as you are.
love the motivation of the characters! Well written and unique. 11/10 please do more
Keep it up author. This is your first story so don't worry about the negative comments. Just write a bit more realistic stories from now on. And kindly finish this story.
Very well written. I think this is an excellent first story. Please take your time and continue it.