All Comments on 'More than Life Itself'
by Thomas_Malory
- 52 Comments
Yeah... I’m gonna need a better explanation of that bit after “Afterwards”.
Steve’s husband? Was the joke that this was a misunderstanding? Completely unclear.
Two stories in two days and both depressing as hell! This one was a mess. How did he stick "a discarded pair of pants" into her mouth? Was she an enormous woman and did she have a giant mouth? Or were they small pants (more probably panties)? Then he kills Steve, shoots himself and leaves the cheating slut alive? How fucked up is that? He pays the ultimate price because his wife can't keep her legs together? No one is worth that and I hate that you made him a suicide. Then you had Steve's husband cradle his head. If Steve's gay why is he fucking Yvette? You need an editor. Or at least do a better job of proof reading this nonsense. Try again. This failed miserably.
1 star
Yes, it was a misunderstanding. Yvette was using Steve as her "queer eye for great lingeree". She had been hiding her texts to keep Mike's party a surprise. She never considered that Mike could be jealous of her gay friend Steve. For one of the very few times in LW it really was "NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!".
I think you were trying to have a surprise party that was interpreted wrong, but you really didn't get there.
His stories dont make much sense... see Forevermore
Yes, saw it coming, that they were planning a surprise. I also thought that Steve was gay. Yes, Anonymous, Steve's husband, because he was gay, yes, it was a misunderstanding, and it was QUITE clear!
Steve was a gay man and a party organizer Yvette hired to set up Mike's surprise 50th Birthday Party before taking him (Mike) to the beach for a sexy vacation trip. This, indeed, was not what it looked like.
So Steve was gay and the beach holiday was his 50th birthday present, only confusion in husbands head......verify verify verify
JJ
You are the joke! My goodness, go back to comic books. As far as the story, how stupid can wives be?
I got it, but would/should a woman ask a gay man to help select a woman's lingerie? He should have zero experience or interest, no? Still, a different take on "it's not how it looks."
The mind can play tricks, work on a person, and create a self-perpetuating fiction. I haven't been there, but I do get it.
I picked up on it quickly and it is definitely a dark tale.
His outraged response is very plausible. Crimes of passion are very real.
I do have to wonder at the wisdom of a wife behaving that way with any man, homosexual or not, and why it never occurred to her just how bad her behavior would be viewed by anyone not in the know.
Good but terrible story.
An excellent story with a few mistakes. Ex: He found text from Mike, but according to Yvette's "Oh God, Mike, its not what it looks like." he is Mike, so who is she sending the sexy pictures to--the gay guy?
I gave you a 4!
... there’s a lot more to the story that we don’t know. Nice final scene though — well-wishers bursting in on what they thought was a surprise party, but finding a love triangle/murder suicde instead.
Yvette might have a hard time living this down.
A little more info would dispel the feeling of "Am I missing something?" that any NORMAL reader may encounter.
Smokepole
I didn't catch it until the end. I have not seen anything like this before in LW, and I can appreciate your twisted imagination. It really wasn't what it looked like. Who whouda thunk it. Great job.
So this is more like a homage to Edgar A. Poe than that "Forevermore" crap story Thomas.
Much better 🎭 dramatic action and horror at the irredeemable error of his actions.
Good job Thomas _Mallory.
AMerryman
P. S. You probably should drop this nomdeplume because you really attract a lot of critics when your writing can't carry the weight. Just a thought 😉
I'm not much of a fan of killing, let alone oneself.
This is really a pretty dark story.
T.T.
Steve was gay and married. Yvette was planning a party and vacation with her hubby not her gay friend. Duh.
thecarolinadreamer is right! I'm very new to this. Does anyone know how to make a correction?
"They are a bad author" - who?
Sorry about the "Nome de plume" - blame my parents.
Harryin VA - I wish my stories were as good as yours
Oh, if he had just let her explain. Oh, if she hadn't changed her phone password. Oh, if the wife had just started shouting her explanation when he burst into the room and began beating her supposed lover. His life and future for a few words, miscommunicated, or left unspoken. Oh, what a shame.
At least there won't be much brains to clean off the ceiling.
You have great potential. I hope you develop it.
This is brilliant, a perfect response to the "It's not what it looks like" trope and BTB zealots.
This tale had a great plot, but the most glaring statement is: 'OK - since you've already seen me naked' the whore had sent a selfie in front of the mirror wearing just a red bra and pants. I'd seen enough, I'll teach the cheating bitch! When did the wife pose naked in the story? Was this just a deranged husband jumping to conclusions from his wife's photo in front of the mirror. it needs a rewrite to be any good.
It’s entirely possible the guy was gay and helping her look better for her husband......
Nice story with a twist- however, some guys are bi-sexual and the wife shouldn't be undressing and showing off in front of men in the bedroom without your knowledge. Also wouldn't he have to pre-plan some time off work to leave the next day with her? And who has a party with a late night and clean-up, expecting a morning flight? Story doesn't fully work as presented. I guess the other guy was a party planner/ travel guide/ bra salesman. Unusual but deadly combination apparently.
Could we see a point of view from Yvette's side and the aftermath of the murder/suicide disaster?
...and it is still top shelf. You know, gay or not, I don't get the whole "My gay friend gets to see me naked." thing. I mean, maybe he doesn't want any of it, but it still isn't right. I can understand the husband getting the wrong idea.
What happened when Mike learned he had killed his truly loving and faithful wife?
This is a great story revealing how many of the "readers" have no reading comprehension!
HarryVA blames the author because HarryVA can't understand a clearly written story.
pugetman thought the author meant Steve's wife.
gingerhunter asks -- What happened when Mike learned he had killed his truly loving and faithful wife?
Duh.
... of an old episode from the show Tales From the Crypt called, "Three's a Crowd". Same sort of premise, turned out at the very end the wife wasn't having an affair, she was planning a surprise party. The MC killed his wife in that, though. Still, interesting concept and the way his emotions were portrayed were well done. Good job.
Sorry but I saw that coming a mile away. Theres a couple others along the same line so this was pretty clear.
Steve's husband and fellow party organizer ran to his side, cradled his head and sobbed. What does this line even mean?
Is the one anonymous asking about the last line really that fucking stupid?
And not even gay men should be in a wife's bedroom with her half naked. Stupid bastard! Stupid bitch!
First read, I thought she was leaving her husband. then having read another comment, I realized she was planning a trip with her husband and the so-called lover was helping her....
For some clueless commenters, last line shows Steve was gay. The husband read to many LW BTB stories that rotted his mind and instead of confrontation to clear the air, he killed Steve and committed suicide. Yvette will never be the same. Feel sad for her. Not the MC as he was a maniac. Why is this not rated higher?
It felt too forced. He'd really murder the guy and then kill himself without letting them get any word in? That's just too convenient not to mention stupid. Good try though.
She created the problem, she lives with the results. Actions have consequences. Thoughts have consequences. Words have consequences.