All Comments on 'My Naga King Ch. 06'

Aww come on!!!! Ugh I hate cliff hangers... but omg I do love, love this story!!!!! Keep at it!!!!!

Cliffhangers are one of the most evil inventions ever. You better have another chapter lined up pretty soon.... Or else! :D Vague, implausible, ridiculous threats aside; good work. Keep it up

I have said it once,twice,several times but I will say it again I HATE,LOATHE,DETEST CLIFF HANGERS!!!!

Awesome chapter though!

She need to talk to Zeros instead of assuming things and running off.

I NEED to read for myself the exact consequences of Lilly's actions. If she's a litle girl, parents & Zeos need to step up. If she's grown, Camille should get to kick her ass! Stop making her so naive. If she can punch Nevia, she can beat her sister's & Lilly's asses! Speaking of her "sister", she is a succubus reborn? "Her hair is deep red." And where is his son? Something is telling me Tobias is more that he appears...

I am finding myself facinated by all your stories. Thanks for sharing them. Keep up the good works!

either Lilly is the reincarnate of the succubus or cassy's sister is.

Chapter seven may be accepted in a few days, and I was going to surprise you but I figure I shouldn't cause I'm nice like that...but chapter eight is being worked on and that is the final chapter. So if you're confused on something and it doesn't get mentioned in chapter seven let me know :P

Who else would cause her to react in shock? I want to know if Tobias is Serenity's son. That would explain the way he acts around Cassandra; he has a form of his mother back and wants her love and approval. He's quite sweet.

It appears that Lilly is just doomed to grow up to be a real bitch who has to make everyone's lives miserable so that her life looks good in comparison.

The suspense is just killing me!

I think it is the sister she has gone mental since finding out she is with Zeos!

You're so talented!!! That last bit has me itching for more! Lilly needs a smack on the face and that goes for Juniper and their mother as well. So many irritating characters that make me want to scratch their eyes out but hey, variety is the spice of life. Loving it! Love the twist about Cassandra being Serenity!

Really enjoying this series. Worth re reading as I never reached the end last time.

One, a man who loses his wife is a Widower, not a widow. Unless he magically had a sex change, he's a widower.

Two, Did you edit this at all? Sentences were confusing and I had issues identifying the subject of most of the conversations. I couldn't understand if you were hinting at reincarnation or possession or what, and frankly, I find the whole plot getting a little cliche.

I went through the previous five chapters because I had hoped it would get better with time, but the heroine is a problem magnet to the extreme, she's useless. Additionally, the other female characters seem to blend into one bland two dimensional caricature of useless femininity who only squeal about silly things. Her friends are terrible (or really good at being a reflection of herself), as they are easily bought like common whores. They are more enraptured over the fact that he's rich and that he has two dicks than anything else, which, I don't know about you, but most people would find that unnatural. I would also like to point out that her friends are highlighted as being incredible vapid about the whole 'two penis' thing. It doesn't take much intelligence to know that any sort of mutation tends to have health complications with it. Instead of being reasonable and not mentioning two-dick-ness and instead making up a lie about having normal sex, she tells a partial and wholly unbelievable truth that raises more questions. Or it would if her friends weren't insipid morons. Fails the Bechdel test horrible.

The only characters that are fleshed out are... none of them. Zeos seems distant, and his love is more words than actions. The heroine is simple minded, the parents come to strange conclusions about the relationship without explaining. Who the hell concludes 'abusive relationship' after a girl is locked in a room and almost fried? It's unnecessary and ill-thought out conflict that doesn't seem to ever show up again. She jumps location, which, while understandably due to magic, doesn't seem to notice. Unless she sleeps as if she's comatose, I don't see this as feasible. Lilly I keep forgetting is eight. She doesn't act eight. She acts like a bratty teenager. Unless I read it wrong, in which case, that's another problem I have with this. Clarity does not seem to be your strong point (see previous paragraphs about the confusing nature of your narration).

Also, how is she supposed to be 'strong?' If she's 'strong enough to carry a child without being turned,' I would like to be shown, not told that. So far the only strength in her that I see is the strength to be dicked in both holes without proper lubrication in the ass. She certainly has a 'strong' lack of pain receptors.

It's a good thought, but the writing just isn't great.