My Neighbor Irina 03 - Anal-ysis

Irina was out of town for a few days, some sort of client meeting in Phoenix. She asked if I wanted to come, enjoy the hotel and the room with her. I needed a specialized setup for work, and a hotel wouldn't cut it, so I had to decline. Besides, the kids had just started back to school, and while Hazel, a sophomore, was technically old enough to stay by herself overnight, I'm not sure I'd leave her for a few days like that during the school year.

Irina had no such choice. I told her I'd be a back-up, and I checked in with her son, Jake, a couple times a day, but he went to school as he was supposed to and I saw no evidence of guests or parties, and the few days passed uneventfully with her texting at late hours saying she was looking forward to when we could get together again. She was very eager for another yoga lesson.

So, the morning after she got back, almost one week since the last time we were together, I got a text: Out of coffee, let's go get some. Can you be out in 10?

I had already been working for an hour, and had downed my prerequisite tumblers of cold brew, but if I had a chance to get together with her, I was sure to try. I had nothing pressing to do at work, and fabricated some excuse about Hazel and school, and set myself for out of office. That would buy me an hour.

Twelve minutes later I was walking out the door. She made a point of looking at her watch. "Don't I recall someone saying they appreciated being punctual?" She looked at me expectantly.

"It was a moment of weakness, and I assumed you'd appreciate it if I put some pants on." She giggled and it then dawned on me the absurdity of that statement. Chuckling with her I concluded that, "I could have saved two minutes and given you a little show."

"We'll work on it sexy yoga man. Besides, I'm rather desperate to get my coffee, I guess Jake had some and I can't find any."

"I have coffee, it's all cold brew but I could probably heat some water and do a French press." The house was a wreck, and as delightful as it would be having her over right now... the house was a wreck. Fortunately, she declined.

"I need ground, and it might be good for us to just chat for a while before rubbing squishy bits again."

"Excuse me? My bit is NOT squishy." She reached down unexpectedly and felt around my crotch.

"Mmmm, sorry, pretty squishy."

I laughed, "Not for long."

"Good boy. C'mon, I'm sexier with my coffee."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure about that, I remarked, adjusting the growing bulge in my shorts, "you seem your usual sexy self this morning."

"You just bring the worst out in me Tom". She took my hand in hers, and we started walking up the street to "Human Beans", a local mom and pop coffee and tea place in the neighborhood. It was only five minutes to get there, and we covered all of the mundane highlights of her trip, and Jakes apparent lack of a social life.

We arrived, walked in, and stood behind a young woman placing her order. There was only one other person, a man around my age sitting in the window, staring intently at his laptop screen. I was a little envious. As a security researcher for a major bank, I typically required a hardware connection to effectively do my job, which I just could not do in a coffee shop.

The young woman played with her bright blond ponytail while she waited for her payment to go through. Her dark roots indicated she was probably past time for getting it renewed. I couldn't help but notice her sleek, shoulder less red dress, and its extremely high hemline with black patterned stockings down to a pair of strappy high heeled shoes. She looked like something out of a lingerie catalog.

Irina noticed me, noticing her, and arched her eyebrow, barely suppressing a giggle. She held up two fingers and made the 'I'm watching you' gesture as I probably shifted uncomfortably. She laughed.

"Coffee, large, no room, for here, and 2 pounds of drip ground Colombian."

The woman behind the counter smiled, "The usual and 2 pounds. I'll have that ready when you leave." She looked over at me, "and your friend?" I hadn't given it much thought, so I just ordered a small coffee with room. She disappeared behind the coffee apparatus and after some frothing noises and alchemical measurements, handed the red clad young woman her order of two covered cups of whatever. We both watched as the young woman crossed the street and entered a shop called "Allure".

We looked at each other. "Is that a...," she paused. "Sex shop?"

"Intimate apparel and marital aids," I sagely agreed. "A fun toy shop. A bit small, but they have a decent selection."

"Oh? You're a regular there?" She was just so goddamn cute when she was teasing me.

"I've only been once, a few years ago." Luckily, our coffee appeared at that moment, but it would take more than that to throw her off the trail. She scooped up both mugs, and briskly walked to the back of the seating area.

She sat down and looked at me. "And?"

"And I still need cream for my coffee." I grabbed my mug and went back to the front to pour some half and half in it. When I returned, she was feigning indifference. "And I bought a toy. Or two." Her face lit up. I'm not sure why, but I was feeling a little embarrassed by that admission.

"And? What were they? What kinds of toys tickle Mr. Hot Yoga Man's fancy?"

"I believe the store is under new ownership, that girl wasn't working there when I was there before."

"Because you'd have remembered her when you went in to buy... what was it again?" She was clearly having too much fun with this. "Or were you just there to flirt with the hot girls in lingerie?" I thought her face must hurt with how much she was smiling. "What *do* you remember?"

"A Fleshlight. And maybe a dildo" The smile faded from her face.

"A flashlight? Sounds strange." And here I though the dildo would the thing she'd latch on to.

"Flesh light," I emphasized the word flesh. "It's like a soft, rubbery cylinder that, you know," I simulated a stroking motion. "It's like a flashlight with a pussy inside it." She mulled that over in her head.

"It's not really very sexy when you explain it like that."

"I'll have to work on that."

"You do that." She leaned back in her chair, started to say something, then stopped. She sipped at her coffee, and then leaned forward. "Maybe I need a toy. Or two".

"Looks like they're open, we can go when we're done if you like."

"I'd love that." She giggled again and I knew something was coming. "Take me toy shopping Daddy." Irina never disappointed.

We chatted about her ex, and apparently, he was a piece of work. He was charming at first, but apparently a bit of a drunk, and after they quickly had Jake, he began to grow more distant until eventually she just filed for divorce. He didn't leave her with much but all she cared about was Jake. She got her son, and he got whatever she didn't fight for, which wasn't much. She had done her schooling for social work, which once the divorce was finalized, she picked up again. She didn't need to work while she was married but had gotten back into it and really enjoyed taking care of her clients.

She was embarrassed to admit I was the first man she had ever cum with, which begged a question, but I didn't pursue it.

She actually had a little crush on me when I first went to help her father with trimming the branches over her garage, but figured it was just a silly fancy, until that day I helped with her lawn. She figured she was being self-indulgent but she had warmed up to me and so she went to my yoga class a few nights later. Now, she really felt like we had a great rapport, but she didn't want to assume anything, and hoped we would continue getting to know one another.

I filled her in on the highlights of my two previous marriages. My first wife ended up being a gold digger, and I was never going to provide what she felt she deserved, and my second wife wasn't concerned about my income, but we ended up drifting apart due to differences in values. The first divorce was messy, the second was not. She ended up moving to Costa Rica to work at a yoga resort, and Hazel didn't want to go, which is why I had custody. Hazel had been an incredibly happy accident, although I would have never told her that, but her mom seemed more interested in getting her pre-pregnancy body back than in caring for a baby.

I basically raised her, and with the time at home, started taking online classes in cybersecurity and IT networking, and eventually got a series of jobs until I landed my current one with the bank, where I had been for a little under four years.

Twenty minutes had passed, and our coffee was gone, so we got up to leave, collecting her 'Columbian, ground' on our way at the door. She buried her nose in the large paper bag with the crimped top. "Mmmmm, heaven."

We crossed the street, and walked in to Allure, and were greeted with hot pink and black, as the blond haired woman waved from where she was adjusting some outfits on display. "Let me know if I can help you find anything." I thought Irina was going to say something, but she just looked at me, and I knew she was waiting for me to take the lead.

We looked at some of the lingerie, but she didn't appear interested in any of it, despite my opinion to the contrary. While I was lingering near the lingerie, she had moved on. I suddenly heard her call out "Is this the one?" and the blond haired woman and I both swiveled our heads to see her holding up a box with a fleshlight in it. Naturally, Irina was beaming.

"Yes, but a different model," I said as I walked over, taking it from her hands and setting it back down. "Anything catch your fancy?" I asked as I directed her attention to the more traditionally vagina related products. "Vibrators? Dildoes? Whatever this is?"

"That's the Satisfyer 2," the instantly hovering blond haired woman piped up. "It's one of the more popular models."

"How does it work?" Irina seemed fascinated by the sleek curves but otherwise non intuitive appearance.

"It uses pulses of air and vibration for clitoral stimulation." The blond haired girl pointed at the one end and didn't miss a beat. "With 11 pressure wave intensities and 10 vibration patterns, it's completely waterproof and body safe." I wondered how often she had practiced that particular phrase.

Irina looked at me. "She sounds like you."

"It's good to be well informed," I shrugged.

"That sounds delightful... for... when you're not around," she beamed. "I want that."

"Would you like me to hold that at the counter while you continue shopping?" The blond haired woman had me by the balls, and she knew it. How do you hem and haw about sex toys when you're with the person you want to have use them?

"Sure," I answered cheerily. "I'm sure we can find everything else just fine."

"I'm right here if you need me," and I didn't doubt it for a second.

"She's right there if you need her," Irina had that devilish smirk on her face. "Right there." The young woman didn't seem to hear her as she busied herself behind the counter and we continued exploring. "Tell me about this dildo you got. Who did you use it on?" The expression on my face must have been priceless because Irina practically doubled over laughing.

"I used it on myself, or rather, in myself." I felt like I must be blushing.

"Hmmm, Kinky Mr. Sexy Yoga Man," she followed me over as I showed her a short, smooth silicone dildo with a suction base. She considered it for a moment and then said in a low voice, "I've never done any, you know, butt stuff. I've done plugs, but never actually taken it up the chute."

I wasn't entirely sure how to process this new piece of information. Quite frankly, I found her body delightful and certainly had enough to explore along more conventional means, but I was definitely intrigued and further aroused at this recent development.

"May I confess something?" I had her full attention. "I've never given it to anyone up the chute." She arched her eyebrow and looked pleasantly surprised. I quickly added, "I mean, I'm told I did, but I was really drunk and don't remember, so..." I stopped in mid-sentence.

"If you don't remember, does it count?" she arched her eyebrow at me. "Maybe you're still a virgin Mr. Experienced."

"Good point, maybe I am."

"I'll have to see about getting you drunk, you might be full of surprises."

"I don't think you'd need to get me drunk for that." I pretended to fan myself with my hand. "Is it getting hot in here."

"No, but it's getting hot in here,", and she pointed down to her crotch.

"Whatever am I going to do with your Miss Capito? Such the naughty girl," I whispered, placing my hands on her arms.

"Whatever you want Mr. Sommer," she whispered back, and drew me in for a kiss. It was easy to get lost in that kiss until a well timed cough reminded me we were still in a store. The blond haired girl made a point of deliberately not noticing us. While our faces were close, Irina whispered again, "Have you ever taken it up the chute?" She laughed, eyes beaming brightly at me.

"Other than Mr. Jiggly, no." I gestured toward the silicone dildo.

"Up the chute," she whispered at me loudly. Giggling like a little girl. "OK, shoo." She made a pushing motion, "Go over there, or outside. I have to have a meeting with my new best friend." She caught the blond haired girls attention, and I noticed her name badge said 'Aubrey' and 'Manager' as I walked past her."

"You and Aubrey please have mercy on my wallet".

"Shoo, outside!" I'll summon you when I'm ready." She said something to Aubrey and they both started laughing. I chuckled to myself and stepped outside, pulling my phone from my pocket. I checked my messages, nothing. I thought for a moment, and then called my boss, Eric. Part of me wanted to just get voicemail so I could say I tried, and then forget the whole idea, but Eric answered.

"First American, Eric speaking." He was a no nonsense guy.

"Eric, Tom here. Um, I kinda need to take the rest of the day off. Something's come up, and..."

He cut me off abruptly. "Is Hazel all right?" That was unexpected.

"She's fine. It's just that..."

He cut me off again. "You don't need to explain anything." He always spoke very crisply. "I can't remember the last time you called off in the middle of the day. Whatever it is, I hope it works out and I'm sure you'll be on tomorrow."

"Oh, definitely".

"For God's sake man, don't lose PTO again this year, if anyone deserves it, it's you," and with that, he hung up. He was absolutely right, I was very bad about taking time away from work.

Until now. I could see that changing in the near future.

That took far less time than I thought it would, and I peeked back in the store, but Irina and her new best friend were busy looking at things and chatting animatedly. I had no idea what she was on about, but I admired her spirit, and her ass.

I checked my watch, still early. I wasn't sure I had time for another coffee, and then I had an idea. I walked over to a nearby Walgreen's, and quickly found what I was hoping we'd need. Bag in hand, I was returning to the toy store when my phone dinged. It was Irina 'summoning' me back inside.

Patting myself on the back for my efficiency and foresight, I walked back into the store to see them both watching for my return. Aubrey said something, and Irina nodded. They both started to giggle. Great. Still, if the woman you're hooking up with decides to become friends with the manager of an adult toy store, well, things could be worse. And expensive.

Aubrey rang up the Satisfyer 2, and Irina guarded her bag like it was the crown jewels. I tried to catch a quick peek, but all I saw was 'LoveHunny' before she whisked it away and covered the top. She made a 'tsking' sound and waggled a finger, "No fair Mr. Sommer, a girl has to keep her secrets." Aubrey just smiled as she totaled the order and took my card. "Oh wait, we forgot this." Irina tried to slip something from the end of the checkout area past me, but I saw it. 'Analease'.

Aubrey dropped it in the bag. "My treat." She handed me my card, and offered the bag, and after I took it, she smiled again and said, "Have fun you two." Irina winked at her. And with that, we were out of the store and headed home. I decided to talk about anything other than what she had just purchased as Irina took a deep sniff of her bag of coffee.

"So, I might have just taken the rest of the day off." She was silent for a moment.

"Do you have plans?" She glanced at me. "I'm not keeping you from anything, am I?"

"No, no, I wasn't sure how your day looked, but I figured if you had the time, we could, um..." I had no idea why I was feeling awkward as the two of us were carrying bags full of sex toys home.

She stopped. "Tom." Her voice was profoundly serious. "It's very presumptuous of you to assume I would just spend the rest of the day with you." I had no idea if she was really being serious, or just being a first-class brat again. I scanned her face for a hint of a smile but there was none.

"Um, I..." And then she started laughing.

"Jesus Christ Tom, this ass isn't going to fuck itself." She started walking again, more briskly this time. "Hurry up Mr. Sexy Yoga Man." I hurried.

I could almost swear she was fumbling with the keys to the house as she still tried to conceal the contents of her bag. Once inside we barely had the door closed when she was in my arms and her tongue was in my mouth. We kissed and stroked each other's hair and then I felt my belt being undone. I reached down and unsnapped her capris. Unzipped, my shorts fell to the ground, my cell phone making a muffled thud as it hit the ground. I pulled up her shirt and we had to stop kissing for a moment for me to get it off her. She quickly pulled mine up and off and we resumed our hungry kisses while she reached down to push my boxers lower, and I crimped the back of her bra to get the hooks to unclasp. Once free, I started to pull the straps off and between kisses, managed to see it drop to the floor with our shirts and my shorts.

I supported her back and pushed her away slightly so my mouth could latch on to one of her breasts. I always marveled at her breasts, both large and perky at the same time, with dark areolas and nipples that turned slightly upward. I augmented my ravishment of them with grunting sounds, and she giggled and said it tickled when I did that.

I was trying to get her pants down, but the form hugging capris were not cooperating. She assisted in shimmying them down to her knees, and then while I still had my mouth clamped on one of her breasts, my tongue massaging her nipple, I used my foot to finish their descent to the floor. "Another smooth move from the yoga guy," she said in a breathy voice, but I just kept on enjoying her breasts.

Soon we were completely naked and enjoying each other's bodies with our hands as our mouths remained locked in their dance of tongues, and I felt her wetness as her legs parted a little more to welcome my fingers. I was a little familiar with her pussy by now, and deftly navigated her folds to insert my middle finger in her warm and fragrant snatch. Her g spot was exactly where I remembered it and I started stroking it right away, finger inserted all the way in.

"Mmmm," she murmured at my digital stimulation, and my other hand moved to cup her breast, my thumb stroking her nipple. "Mmmm", she repeated, and I could feel her breathing quicken a little in my mouth as we continued kissing. My mouth soon parted hers and I started kissing her neck, and moving to the space below her ear, and then to the base of the neck, where I liked to lightly bite and massage her with my lips and teeth. "I have a surprise," she half whispered, half breathed. "Mmmm." My thumb started circling her clit and she melted into this newest sensation.