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Click hereGeoffrey looked at her with hard, flaming lust that seemed to rival her own. In a demanding tone he said, "Tonight, I'm going to make love to you and make your first time breathtaking. I will leave you unable to think, open and vulnerable, only able to feel the passion that I allow you. Tonight, as I ravage you, I will take you to places you have only dreamed of and make you feel things that no other man will ever give you. After I'm done, it will be impossible for any other man to satisfy you the way I will. I am not only going to ravish your form but possess your heart and mind. Ruth, tonight you will become mine."
His words stoked the fire already inside her, and more than anything else, Ruth wanted him to live up to his words. In her fantasies, she craved someone doing exactly what he said. As she looked into his eyes, she begged him to conquer her. She wanted him to earn her love, and if he could, she would gleefully surrender herself to him. While she wanted him to devour her form, she also wanted him to value her strength, be aware of her pain, know her fears, and cherish her mind. She wanted him to recognize and treasure her submission.
Ruth's eyes were still shimmering with lust and emotion as she stood on her quivering legs. She leaned on Geoffrey as he stood next to her and blushed as she saw the huge, distended cock straining down the leg of his pants. Geoffrey smiled broadly while looking at the huge bulge in his pants as he said, "Yes, my baby, you have marked me as yours and I want you as much as you want me. However, I'm the winner because you are gorgeous, dazzling, and tonight you are mine. Stand tall and proud showing everyone the regal princess that you are. I wish you could show everyone what they can't have and show them the gift that you have given me!"
Ruth looked back up at him, her eyes glistening with emotion as she said, "Geoffrey, never in my life have I felt so beautiful or so desired. Never have I been this turned on. I am crazy for you. I've been in a cloud of ecstasy since you touched me. I want you desperately, I've never wanted anyone like this before. Yes, tonight I am yours."
- COMMENTS
Who cares about religious justification in smut? No ones reading this work to read the word of God. Hells bells, Author could quote The Dao de Ching and call it Islamic if they wanted and be correct in their world.
I'm enjoying the work. Even w/ the critique, I'm still going to read and enjoy.
Critique: author's dialogue needs work. It feels forced. The paragraph starting with "Tonight..." broke my immersion. Too long, too much machismo, and Ruth didn't get a timely response. I did like how possesive Geoffrey spoke, the previous works foreshadowed that speech.
In the heat of the moment, people don't naturally soliloquy. Passion and action take precedent. Also allow Ruth to respond; a timely gasp, bitten lip, or allowing her to make an action all show her response if she can't/won't verbalize her answer.
The way author described Ruth' s orgasm was superfluous. It was magical. We get it. I wanted to know what color her "drapes" were. Having her take more action; squeezing Geoffrey's head w/ her (description) thighs, grabbing Geoffrey's head, or pounding the bed with her feet allows the reader to see her response.
It started out with great potential but is losing it.
The misuse of the Song of Solomon to contradict the rest of the Bible is blasphemous.
The ancient Jews would only allow certain people to read the book top prevent misuse.
Though not a sex manual it can free a married couple from certain taboo's including oral sex.