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Click hereMy knees sagged slightly in disappointment. "Ah- bitch," I cursed under my breath.
She slowly brought her body back up, slithering along mine. "Me? What did I do?" she scoffed playfully. "All I did was come here to visit my sister…"
Her banter made me steam in frustration and lust. My eyes dropped down to her tits; her nipples were prominently visible through her soaked bra. "You fuckin' tease," I whispered hoarsely.
She saw what I was looking at and smirked. "Oh- I'm sorry…" Her hands reached up and unclasped it. She effortlessly peeled the wet fabric off her chest and I took a big breath of anticipation as she revealed her naked breasts. I pushed a hand up her stomach and grabbed one, almost forcefully. She stifled a gasp, "Ah! I thought you- you liked them…"
They were so firm… I rolled her nipple between two of my fingers as I groped her.
"I especially um…" she pushed her chest toward me pleasingly, "…liked how you tried not to look at them when, um, your girlfriend was around…"
I squeezed her hard as she patronized me. Fucking cunt!
"Don't worry… She didn't notice…" she mocked.
In a flare of passion, I spun her around and pushed her back against the wall. Her eyes went wide in surprise as I glared into her. My conscience was barely a whisper now; I was mostly animal. She actually looked vulnerable like that, her chest heaving in expectation. It made me want her even more.
I bent down and kissed her hard on the neck, then down her chest. I wanted to suck her tits. She pushed herself up on her toes to help me, but I was frenzied and impatient. I grabbed her hips and pulled her up, still pushing her against the wall for leverage. She squeaked and wrapped her legs around my waist, her arms around my neck. "Oh my!"
With better access to her chest, I eagerly kissed against her breasts. I licked around her nipples, flicked my tongue against them, then took one into my mouth and sucked eagerly. Kaylee's body shuddered as I held her and she pouted a quiet moan. "Ahhh… Where have you been!?" she sighed excitedly.
I took my mouth off of her tits and slowly lowered her back to stand on her own. She looked wildly into my eyes. "God… You know how I like my- my nipples..." she trailed off.
"How could I forget that slutty story?" I growled.
She bit her tongue provocatively and shot her hand down to my crotch, grabbing the base of my cock and tugging at it. "You liked it… You like me being slut, don't you?" she demanded.
The sudden attention on my dick forced me to lose my balance and lean forward against her, into the wall. I gasped in pleasure as she excitedly jerked me more. "Ohh…" I groaned out.
She was relentless. "Why do guys like that so much? Huh?" She manipulated my erection so perfectly, it was like she wasn't even trying. My hips grinded against her as if I was her puppet. "I guess it's- oh- 'cause we like to fuck? Or is it 'cause we're so naughty? Mm… good boys like you always want the… the bad girls…"
I ran my hand down her stomach and forced my fingers beneath her panties, finding her slit. She took a sharp intake of breath. "Ah… Take them… Take them off…" she pleaded.
Her fingers grew lax and trailed off my cock. I pulled out from her underwear and grabbed the waistband with both hands. I had to pull it down, inch by goddamn inch, because it was so wet that it stuck to her body. Desperate, I kneeled down to get a better angle to just pull them off. She helped kick them away from her feet once at her ankles.
I looked up at her and suddenly realized I was staring straight at her pussy. Before I knew it, a frantic urge overcame me. I needed to taste her. I dove my face forward and wrapped my mouth over her slit. She quickly grabbed the back of my neck, digging her nails into me. I laid my tongue against her pussy and ran it along her for a moment. Her excited gasps encouraged me to slide my tongue into her and lap at her clit.
She draped a leg over my shoulder and I had to help her keep her balance by grabbing her hips. Her body rolled against my face, shamelessly fucking my mouth. I looked up at her tight body as I ate her out. Her eyes were shut and her mouth hung open; her back arched and her tits pushed out as her body tensed. I could not think of a sexier sight than to see this teenage slut lost in her own bliss.
"Oh… Oh! God this is- fuck! So bad- so bad…" she started in whispered pants. "Tell me- tell me do you- ah! Do you jerk - ooh! Jerk off to me?" She was looking down at me now.
I couldn't help myself. I nodded yes and mumbled 'Mmm hmm' into her pussy.
She let out a shaky sigh in amazement. "God! You asshole… Do you… ahhh! Do you think- oh- think of me when- when- shit… When you f-fuck her…?" she whispered.
It was so wrong and twisted, but I had lost all control. Finally being honest with myself made me that much hornier and excited. I shoved my tongue as far into her as I could and mumbled another 'yes'. She clamped her mouth shut and dug her nails into my neck so hard it hurt. Her hips suddenly bucked against my face erratically and I felt her flush with wetness. Holy shit, I'm making her come!!
I didn't want to stop; I wanted to keep giving it to her. Make her feel the uncontrollable heat that I felt. But she pulled her leg off of me and took a step back. I got up from my knees, breathing hard to catch my breath. Her chest was heaving too, and she looked at me hungrily. Without a saying a word, she turned away from me and leaned over, pressing her hands against the back shower wall. She looked back at me behind her, her ass pushing out at me.
She's giving it to me. I grabbed onto her and guided my dick into her still-wet pussy. The shower water cascaded against my back and I groaned, pushing my cock into her as far as I could go. She made a whimpering sound at the sudden force of filling her up. My eyes fluttered close as I finally felt the satisfaction of sinking into this week-long tease.
I gave her long, slow, luxurious thrusts as I lost myself in her body. Nothing else mattered to me anymore. I needed this so bad. My nerves were so on edge that I knew I could come any minute if I wanted to…
I relished the sound of Kaylee's muted moans as she let me fuck her. Finally she interrupted my reverie by whispering again, "How- how long have you- oh… w-wanted this…?"
My body tensed at her voice and I pushed into her harder, holding the deep position and staring at her body, looking so submissive for a change. She hung her head down and looked back at me, mouth dropped open as she gasped. I didn't move, shocked and turned on by the dirty question.
"Tell me…" she insisted, "When was the- hummm… first moment when- ah- when you knew you w-wanted- oh! Wanted t-to fuck me?"
She ground her ass against me in little circles, forcing pleasure along the entire length of my cock, right down to the pressure against my pelvis. I grew hot from the question… I was embarrassed, angry… Hell, it almost made me come. My hands clenched into her hips and tried to force her to remain still. I didn't realize the trouble I was really in and was being flat-out selfish, trying to make this fucking last!
Kaylee smiled at me deviously, knowing she had me on the edge. She's the one bent over and still I'm weak for her… I saw her run her tongue across her teeth as she closed her eyes in an exaggerated expression of passion. It looked like she was going to say something else… but then things got really fucked up.
We heard the doorknob turn, then felt a whoosh of cold air as the bathroom door swung open. Both of us froze in place, my heart stopping for a second. Then I felt it pounding, curiously almost all my senses focused on my dick, still pulsing in Kaylee's pussy.
"Hey, how you feeling?" my girlfriend called out.
Kaylee's eyes shot wide open and her mouth made an 'O' before she closed it, biting her lower lip and staring at me expectantly. "Uhh… Okay…" I tried not to sound nervous. I'm dead.
"You've been in here since I've been up!" Melissa called out.
"Oh, um… Sorry… I was- uh…" I caught my groan in my throat. Kaylee had silently pulled her ass forward and slid it back, sending a jolt along my dick and into my stomach. "Just soaking up the… steam… Um, trying to clear my head…" I groped for an excuse.
"Still feeling a little sick?" she asked concerned.
"Uh- yeah… Some…" Kaylee started to pull away from me again, but I held onto her and pulled her back into me. Oh god… I was trying to limit the pleasure, but that only heightened it. How the hell am I still turned on…? "I uh, made you coffee…" Go away!
"Mm, yeah I smelled it. Thanks!"
I listened intensively and realized she was getting ready to brush her teeth. Fuck! Why the hell does she always do that before she eats!?
"So uh," her voice came out a little garbled now that the toothbrush was in her mouth, "Do you think you can say 'goodbye' to Kaylee this morning before you go?"
Kaylee looked back at me again and gave me a deliberate pout face. The sheer indecency of the situation made my dick swell even bigger.
"Um- yeah," I stated abruptly.
"Good. Try to be nice… I'm afraid she was getting the feeling that you don't like her," she warned.
I had to swallow back ragged gasps as Kaylee wiggled her ass and coaxed my hips into gently humping her again. She jutted out her lower lip as she did it and pretended to be sad at Melissa's comment. Next she took one hand off the wall and quietly slipped it between her legs, then tickled me where the hilt met my sack.
"Oh… Uh- No, that's not good…" I muttered, desperate to sound normal. Stop talking and *leave!* Kaylee's touch was driving me wild. The whole scenario was so twisted that I couldn't even wrap my head around it. The longer it went on, the more fucked up it was… The hotter I got. Am I actually going to…?
"She wasn't so bad to have around, was she?" Melissa inquired.
Kaylee gave me a devilish smile and seductively nodded. She deftly jerked her hips in a quick rhythm, raked her nails lightly across my thigh, and silently blew me a kiss. This isn't happening…
"Yeah she's- she's fine…" A lump formed in my throat as I said it. This is so wrong… I felt a flood of energy rush up my legs and pool down from my stomach. I furrowed my brow and let my mouth hang open in anguished pleasure. Oh shit, she's her fucking sister, her little goddamn sister…! I dragged my eyes up along the length of her perfect tight body one last time and then shut them, biting my tongue as I came into her.
For a moment, there was nothing but the water hitting my back and come overflowing out of me. Dimly I was impressed at how hard I was climaxing, considering the amount of times I had already jerked off to her… The buildup was worse than I thought. I'm *so* dead… Opening my eyes, I saw Kaylee's hand over her mouth, stifling any noise from coming out as her eyes twinkled in delight.
I think my girlfriend said something to the effect of her meeting me out in the kitchen. "Don't use up all the hot water," she cautioned, "There has to be enough for Kaylee after me."
Kaylee's face lit up, almost as if she was going to laugh. My body only just then finally calmed down from my orgasm. Really, I'm not sure how I didn't just pass out from it all.
XI
My senses returned to me after that and I was utterly mortified. I had no idea how I got away with that… And all I could picture was Melissa seeing me come out of the bathroom naked with her little sister. I left the water running and, and as imperceptibly as I could, got out of the shower and peeked out the door into the bedroom. She wasn't there.
I turned off the water and motioned for Kaylee to get out. The girl could not stop smiling. I resented her for it, but there was no point in worrying about it now. She did it. She fucked me. I caved in. Even then, my dick still stirred a little bit at watching her young, nude form step out of the shower.
"I can't believe she didn't catch us!" she whispered.
I wrapped my hand over her mouth. "Shut it!" I hissed. "I'm gonna go out to the kitchen and get a drink… When you hear me talking, get the fuck into your room and pretend like you're asleep.
"Ooh, so bossy…"
I glared at her, grabbed a towel and shoved it into her chest, forcing her to take it. I wrapped myself in a towel and went out first. To my quaking relief, we managed to sneak her out of the bathroom without Melissa ever the wiser.
I could barely say two words otherwise to my girlfriend for the rest of the morning. My mind was in a perpetual fog of conflicting emotion. I got dressed and was ready to leave soon after, and as I went out to the kitchen, I saw both sisters sitting at the table having breakfast. Melissa gave me 'the eye' and I knew I had to stay for a minute.
"Well, it was nice having you around, Kaylee," I forced out as naturally as I could.
She smiled sweetly at me, "Oh, thanks for like, suffering my company."
My girlfriend interjected, "We were thinking maybe she could come back again during summer break. Just for a week or two, then she could go back to our mom and dad's."
I tried to hide my jaw clenching.
"We were just talking though," Kaylee piped in. "I don't want to, um, make things… hard for you again." She had an imperceptible smile.
"Don't be silly," Melissa added. "He won't mind. Right?" She looked at me, expecting the 'correct' answer.
I swallowed and softened my features into as easy a smile as I could muster. "Of course not. She's welcome any time."
"Good, so we're in agreement! Maybe we can even go on a little trip or something!" Melissa smiled satisfactorily.
Kaylee's eyebrows rose and she looked at me, closed lips hiding a grin. "Mmm!" she agreed happily.
***
As always, I hope you enjoyed the story. If you have any comments or feedback, I would love to hear it. Thanks for reading!
- COMMENTS
I agree it seems with many other comments that the male character was an idiot and a pussy, he had no courage to resolve the situation by speaking to his wife and he had no maturity to speak to the girls saying do you want to break up my relationship with your sister, simple I’m trying my best but let’s be real and say the same to the wife. I guess it was to create a situation but hard to grasp as a realistic situation.
I was half expecting it to be a set up, to make Melissa feel better about an affair. Or a test the two sisters had cooked up.
Very intense erotic nasty taboo and kinky story. That had me on the edge of my seat. With my cell phone in one hand in my cock in the other. I couldn't put the cell phone down nor could I remove my hand from my cock. I had to read every single bit of it before I could put the phone down and imagine what it would be like to be in his shoes. As I stroked my cock until I shot my load all over the coffee table.
Kaylee was sexually assaulting the male MC and then gaslighting him, so this should have been in the nonconsenting/reluctance category not erotic couplings
I've been in this situation. Young women know what they can do to a man, they can be unconscionable. I also had to act normal and try not to give in. Hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. In more ways than one. I enjoyed the story, a good long tease. But yeah, all women have a little bit of Eve in them. Some much more than others. They like to make a man succumb to sin. I think it's a power trip for them. I related to this story, I can be 'ahem' hard to have a sexy young girl around when you're trying to maintain a serious commitment to a relationship with another woman. Good job exploring male frustration and the power women enjoy in driving men to distraction. Not altogether unrealistic as other have mentioned.
It's no wonder he's sexed up to hell and can't get Kaylee out of his head. His girlfriend seems to be a cold fish and he doesn't seem to try initiating anything either. Feels very forced. Why are they even together? They seem more like roommates. Well except for that one time in the story.
The guy behaves like he's a teenager. No wonder they walk all over him. Probably a closet cuck. It was so laughable.
Every situation with Kaylee could have been easily resolved if he wasn't written as such a spineless pussy. But then again there'd be no story. I guess it was necessary.
That was painful. Every day the same routine, over and over. The Male character was an idiot. And the constant switching from his dialog to his thoughts was disracting and made the story disjointed. Rubbish.
Torturous teasing almost sadistic. Author really is skilled at exploring over the top sexual situations. How much comes from personal experience? A really creative and warped imagination? (His spouse must ask him, "is that all you think about?") Nice writing...
The author used GODS’ name much too often as part of a cuss word (unnecessarily) which I found offensive! He is capable of writing a good story but the cuss words that I mentioned are offensive and derogatory, taking away from the story!
Well. i dont know. I was waiting, hoping, anticipating the other ball to drop and Melissa discover him or them and.. I dont know? She gets angry (obviously)? She gets giggly because THEY planned this as a trap like Kaylee's story (somewhat obvious)? But a little lacking for my hopes. And i have to say a little lacking for design. Like, i really want to know WHY Kaylee was doing this. Why and how was our storyteller so... naive about this? To me, a picture was painted that he was at least knowledgeable about sexy things and girls to this point. And he lost EVERYthing in his mind regarding sexual experiences. Add to that, how in THE hell was Melissa so oblivious to this? At any time? It wasn't a bad story at all, and i'm not trying to nitpick it to death. But it asked more questions for me than it answered. At least it left me wanting - you GOT to answer these questions!!!
Superb premise.
Wonderfully told.
One of the REALLY great stories on Literotica.
Would have liked her to find ways to have him do stuff to her.
When she determined that he jerked off to thoughts of her, she could have asked him to demonstrate for her. And she could have talked him through it -- whether he got to cum then ot not.
And she could have shown him how she masturbated while thinking about him.
But all that'd have been icing on the cake.
Five stars at a minimum.
Great story....I was on edge the entire time...I was almost expecting a twist regarding why he was told not to come to work that week since it lined up with his girlfriend being gone each day something involving his boss and his wife
Great story. Definitely not too long. I mean what do some people on here want, if you don’t want to read a longer story, don’t. All the people saying that any guy would have just fucked her immediately haven’t been in a relationship where they actually care about their partner.
I found Kaylee annoying, so much so that I didn’t want her to get the guy. If he’d folded earlier, it would have been easier to read.
I have conflicting feelings about this story. It's hard to sympathize with the inept boyfriend. There were so many ways out, at so many times. The payoff was good but irritation at the boyfriend made that I ended up almost hate reading the last 3 pages...
Absolutely great story, but can we have Kaylee's version.
That will be another level great.
Good story. What I wouldn't do to have her come after me. Write a follow-up from her POV. Have the sister get involved. Delicious. 5 stars
The little cockteasing cunt needs her pussy superglued shut. It’s girls like that who push too far and then end up unhappy when they end up getting gang raped. Little girls with grown up bodies acting really fucking stupid. Personally, I’d have told Melissa and let the cards fall where they may. Then the little slut would realize the damage is her fault. No guy deserves that kind of disrespect.
HA!
STILL MY FAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
could not believe how you kept the tension going and leaving me unsure about how it was going to end.
Excellent.
Ok that was a rollercoaster ride and a half. Had us edgy, excited, horny and horrified.
Well played.
The rest of these comments are idiots. This is one of the hottest stories on this website and the teasing and the delicious conflict of love for his girlfriend vs unstoppable seduction is awesome!
You drew this out WAY too long. You lost me. I got far too annoyed with you constantly going back to the well until it dried. We get it! He's fantasizing. We get it! She's a tease! WAY too much constant interruptions or him stopping. ENOUGH! bad. terrible!
In my opinion, any healthy, virile male (99,9%) would have succumbed to this seemingly young, sexy, horny little sister's lust and teasing on the first day of arrival, and screwed her brains out! What a waste to wait for a week before waking up to the invitation?
It was a very good story. I enjoyed it and don't remember
another like it. Now, how about the summer vacation. How
do you keep the loverboy and Kaylee engaged and from
Melissa find out? Or other stuff - like the almost threesome?
PennaRossa
Sometimes I’m glad I’m getting old and ugly—no worries about being in such a situation. Combination fun and agonizing read haha
This is hands down the best story on Literotica. Soooooooo hot. I wish there were follow up stories about them sneaking around and having a secret affair behind Melissa's back.
I think I'd have given in and fucked Kaylee a lot sooner. What a sexy little tease.
Was expecting a plot twist like the girlfriend be in on it and it turn into a threesome like the story the sister was sharing would be foreshadowing. Too much character development for a stroke story, too little to be believable / enjoyable. Could easily become a novel length story with some work - keep it up
Melissa seems like an ungrateful bitch, especially when mocking her boyfriend in front of Kaylee
Although it was a hot story, there were just too many situations that were not believable. Like “movie night”. If he really did cum during the movie, then his girlfriend would have been able to smell it and would have known that something was going on.
Maybe making this story into a three way would have been more believable.
Wow! That brought back some old memories, and the same fears with it! Good story, thanks, I think.
Really, really bad. I didn't like it. She basically rapes him. He says no multiple times, but she continues. Imagine the roles being reversed. Not a good story. How does he let all this happen? As others have posted - take a picture of her in the kitchen topless. During movie night, put girlfriend between them after she gets the popcorn. LOCK THE BEDROOM DOOR! Just not a good story at all. Good writing, but a bad story.
To the writer.
You have teased this elderly to the extreme. I was doing my daily excercises and this morning it has been push ups.. after every set i was back at the story and everytime I had an hard on.. I felt like a young man.
Thank you
Five stars it will be
No way! Someone grabs your unit, either you don't want her to and tell her Sister what is happening OR you up the ante and grab hold of her fur burger and see if she is all tease or seriously wants to get it on. This guy acted WORSE than Jerry Lewis did when hot gals would come on to him in those old movies. I figured the older sister was in on it and she was testing his loyalty before she decided ti accept him as her spouse. This story makes it like either the guy is a eunuch or he has the self esteem of a hockey puck! To give him back a bit of his manliness, it should have ended with a 3 way!
This was written 15 years ago. I didn't have a cell phone, but I did have a camera and a micro casette recorder no bigger than a pack of cigs. Take a pic of her walking into the kitchen topless, or record her taunting. Show/play it for Melissa and tell her to shut Kaylee up, throw her out, or tell me to fuck her! Goddamn story didn't need to be but half this length except for an IDIOT!
How old is this guy does he even work I mean talk about a fucking cuckold in the making. 🤣🤣🤣 Seriously whatever Femdom shit is not my thing and this guy is as Beta as it gets before you become a fucking Gimp. 👿👿👿
Love it! Also credit to the dude, he hanged in there for a while beyond a lot of men. Pleass continue this!
Less romantic coupling. More non-con. Not a problem, but I am not a fan of non-con and wished the story was catagorized correctly. Have RL issues with non-con and what Lil Sis was doing was sexual assault, whether or not he said something to his GF. O.K. to have that fantasy, but do use it unexpectedly, so those with RL issues are caught odd guard.
Tee Dee Us, TEDIOUS! The inanity of a romcom combined with the tongue-tied mumbling of an MC in a humiliation story by dismal Jane Marwood. Not a speck of heat for 5 pages.
Damn, that was good. I love a good tease, and Kaylee is just perfect. So. Fucking . Hot. 5 stars.
Too long of a story! The boyfriend was a complete tool and as such would have given in a lot sooner.
There was so much potential with this story. I like the way that the author writes. The execution, however, was disappointing. The main character was written as being the biggest chump. All the st-st-stuttering and boner hiding for 6 days...come on. If things were to go down the way the author presented here, the guy would have either A) told Melissa about the younger sister, B) Said "fuck it!" and banged Kaylee for days or C) he never would have touched Kaylee at all. If you could hold out as long as he did, you're not going to collapse on the final day and I know that as a reader I need to suspend disbelief quite a bit with all of these types of stories, but they should still make sense—7 pages with not much of a payoff.
This could be a much better story with some editing to get the story down to about 4 pages. As I said, the meat is there. The author has the talent for painting the picture for us...It just needs some tweaking and perhaps the main character guy should have given in sooner than he did.
All the time I kept thinking that he needed to tell his girlfriend what Kaylee was doing. Either that or keep fucking her from day one.
Bill S.
I knew you'd fuck her when I clicked on the title, and to keep me reading through 7 pages was great!
Annon 14 days ago, Yeah annoying & a bit boring. Little sis is just a spoiled brat, an annoying little tart.
Did nothing for me either, & I'm a bloke.
I won't be looking for part two!!!
Honestly… found it a little annoying. Just so long, and I thought he would punish her and actually spank her, be a little more petty when he did fuck her, to get back at her. And the complete lack of awareness of his sister… idk I mostly found Kaylee to be annoying and didn’t get off to it, idk. Maybe it’s because I’m a girl tho, I feel like this was 100% written by or for guys
I cant say I understand the sister's mentality or desire to torment the MC like that. Over all a very hot story. Thanks for sharing.
Memories of the first time i fucked my wifes younger sister. She was a bridesmaid at our wedding and i walked in on her getting changed. She was in white stockings suspender belt white heels lacy white thong and a white lace bra and i got an immediate erection. At 16 she was hot just pert little tits and that beautiful little gap between her legs that said room for a cock. Anyway a few years later she was to stay at ours to babysit as i was working early and my wife was away so she was going out and said she would come over and stay after her night out. She arrived about 11:30 and clearly had a few to drink but fuck a mini skirt and boots and sitting down her legs open i could see her lacy pants and i got hard. I got up to get something and she must have noticed my hard on and laughed and said pleased to see me then. I replied yes he always is. One thing led to another and we ended up naked and her only in those fuck me boots. I loved every bit of her and that creamy taste of her sweet pussy. We fucked for quite a while and i knew next day at work id be tired but finally id got that hot pussy at last and enjoyed filling her with my cum. I never even thought at the time was she on the pill as i just wanted to enjoy filling her with my cock juice.
Very well done,. I didn't never think he would get any out of all of he times it was available. I figured the sister would catch them and turn into a good three some. But well done.
Good story but I kept waiting to hear that Melissa put Kaylee up to testing her boyfriend’s faithfulness. Glad it didn’t happen although it sounds like Melissa needs to be a better bed partner than she is.
(4/27/2022) This was an enjoyable read and not long at all. The extended seduction was erotically painful. I hope you have a sequel. I'd like to read how they spent their summer. Well done. Five stars!
Oh, this sucked so bad.
Seems more like torture
than erotica. Just like in a horror movie where the charactors are so stupid, it's a relief when they die.
This is so good. Keep returning to it when required ;) it would be interesting to know how age, gender, marital status affects the comments and opinions (40F, married). I can guess most!
all these annoying people commenting about how shitty him and Kylee were how about you all STFU!!!!!!!!!! STFU STFU STFU STFU!!!!!!!!! FUCKING ANNOYING!! NO ONES GIVES A SHIT OF HOW A SEX STORY MADE YOUR LONELY BRAIN FEEL!!! Sorry that your gross ass probably got cheated on so you felt the need to share your stupid opinion on a fictional sex story that is tagged and labeled as such. KEEP your annoying, sad, irrelevant opinion to yourself!!!!!!!!! UGGGHH so GROSS! Go touch your ugly self to a black men having sex with you while your gross husband watches because that's sooo acceptable compared to this STFU and GTFO
I know it is only fiction and he is not a real person, neither is Kylee, but I found both of them to be such nasty weak horrible characters I just could not finish reading after page 3.
So in that I ought to congratulate the author for his/her ability to bring the characters alive and cause such a strong emotional reaction in me.
I just found the whole working out of the story to be too bizarre.
But still a well written story well paced story and always keeping the reader wondering.
Will they get caught? What will Melissa's reaction be?
Is this a set up by Melisa? Is it some sort of a fidelity test? Is Melissa angling for a threesome?
Love the story! Great build up. It'd be interesting to see you write a few alternatives for the "climactic" ending as I think you could probably find a few that would be even hotter, but the build up was amazing!
Also, WTF is wrong with rbloch66? Dude--if you think that what happened in this story is "rape" you really have no freaking clue what rape is. I'll help you out--rape is when some else FORCES you to have sex. When you're so turned on that your cock is able to over-ride your better judgement and you decide to have sex despite your reservations, that's YOU making a decision. Nothing was forced there.
Here are a few other observations you may benefit from:
If you decide to eat crap and not exercise because you're a lazy fuck with no self control, and as a result you're fat and out of shape that's NOT the "evil food companies" making you fat. That's on you.
If you decide to goof off and party, or just stay in your room and jack off instead of doing work and/or socializing in the real world and as a result you're a professional and social failure, that's YOU not getting your shit together. It's not "society" failing to understand your inherent genius or coolness.
Yeah, rape is never erotic. I thoroughly hated this story. A guy is supposed to take no for answer, but a selfish little twat can ignore it? That’s fucked up.
I don't know. He's about as big a dip-shit as you can get. The first time Kaylee moved on him he should have discussed it with Melissa. He would have got a green or red light then, instead of making a total ass of himself. Most guys would have Kaylee in all three holes for 3 or four hours, and that would probably finish her for the week. Soreness takes time to heal. I know, she's 19 and experienced, but she can still get sore. And tell me Melissa didn't know Kaylee had the hot hots for her boyfriend. Sisters know that shit. For all we know Kaylee got permission to fuck him from her sister. She just never told him, because in her teen-aged mind she thought she could get him without permission. I'm not trying to rewrite this story. Just give us guys a break, we can't be as stupid as this guy, and have a hotty like Melissa that he's fucked all through college, and is now living with? Am I nuts or right?
XYZ
When a guy does it, it’s rape. When a woman does it, that makes it ok??? Fucking cunt.
GODDAMN!!!! I love how selfish and possessive and aggressive Kaylee is! She reminds me of . . . . ME!!!!!!!
I loved the story and loved the characters but regret that there's been no sequels since his went up. It tempts me to write one or two (or five), but i'm no author. Anyway, thanks so much for this absolutely wonderful love story!!!!!
Actually had a similar situation once many years ago.
while I was sat watching t.v a Young friend of my wife who was staying with us for a week, while my wife was out round at her mothers decided to walk up to me nekked.
I just laughed at her and told my wife about it when she got home.
She laughed at her friend and said she wasn't surprised.
she still teases her friend about it now over a decade later
I ejoyed the slow buildup, especially his almost schizophrenic inner dialogue. I think he should have gone ahead and spanked the little cocktease.
Read this a couple of times. I find the writing very good for amateur writers here. The story had an interesting edge to it, but was just dumb. A man sets this crap straight day 1. If his GF does not believe him. He tells her he’ll be back next week when she is gone or she can pack her bags and the two of them (Sis and GF) may leave if she doesn’t believe his reason why. The sister is just a horrible cheating slut wanting attention. Such an awful person to know or be around better to get shed of both if GF is too stupid to realize what sis is doing if her character. Hated the character’s lack of spine.
Thanks for sharing this story sorry I find it lacking in quality. John
PS I agree with comments below A. Characters are shallow and one dimension. A. He should trust his GF to do the right thing if not lucky he finds out now.
This guy came across as a real loser. Well written on your part but I kept thinking to myself "what a little bitch he is"
Meh. Had great potential. The sister was totally screwing with her sisters boyfriend. Could’ve done more with a blackmail theme or had Melissa use Kaylee to see how committed the boyfriend was to her. Either way I don’t think Kaylee should’ve screwed him. Just screw WITH him.
I am against cheating, but the teasing was absolutely great, I miss , he is the master of seduction and teasing, hoping that he`s fine, I wish to read more stories of him, If anyone has any news about him, please tell. 5**
Some fun moments, but totally unlikeable characters. One seems to be purposefully trying to damage or destroy her sister's happiness. The other acts like a 14-year-old boy with no self-control. "I can't help it" is the excuse of a child. He is obviously not in love with his girlfriend, so the guilty feelings were a bit exaggerated.
When Kaylee walked into the kitchen topless, I'd have whipped out my phone and taken her picture, then threatened to show it to Melissa with a full explanation of what went on, unless Kaylee stopped teasing me, and indeed agreed to not come anywhere near me, for the rest of her stay. If I had to make good on the threat and Melissa believed her sister over me, I'd have broken up with her on the spot, left for good, and informed our families and common friends of the reason for the breakup.
Can anyone imagine the comment section if the roles were reversed and the dude was trippin out over the young hot teen. Walking around with his cock out sneaking into her romm sliding his clock into her while she was napping on the sofa. Hell every woman in the world woud be screaming rape. But hell if te young teen girl does that to a guy, he is considered a pussy for not just rolling with it and fucking her. Not even taking in your account he is trying to not cheat. But once again it would be all his fault
I would have kicked the bitch out of my house. If she has that little respect for me and especially her sister then I want nothing to do with her. And if her sister got mad then fuck her too. They both can just get the fuck out. And you bet your ass that in about 8 years forward one way or the other I would be looking kaylee up hoping like hell she was married and happy then do everything in my power to break them up. Revenge is a bitch
I've read hundreds of stories, maybe thousands over the years on literotica. And this is been my absolute favorite. Please write more and ignore the nonsense and hate. I've read it numerous times now.
Hot. Perfect. (I had to comment because I don’t understand all of the negativity)
The sexual tension was fun. There were too many plausible ways out of the dilemma that were ignored. Fun but not really believable.
I dunno why but i feel like
Umm,uh,l
Are more than all the other words combined
I only have one word, HOT. For reasons unknown even the non sexual parts had me hard and happy.
Waste of time. Should have outed the slut with texted pix or used her hard
A man in his position just wants to be safe and know he can trust people around him he is loyal and can be trusted. When he did his homework he felt as if he was a bit blind sided. He doesn’t understand like some many others but has interest in helping out only if all are on board and the respect and trust is there. Yes, he could have handled things better. The info was a bit bizarre he feels bad for all it was public show that should not have been. Nothing a talk with the king won’t straighten out he hopes all is well and love your artistic talent......
NO WAY! I REPEAT, NO WAY! One of two things had to happen six pages ago! Either he outed her to Melissa and made it clear he was not goint to be her dildo for her mental masturbation, or he fuck nailed her and did so every time Melissa left the building l
This guy has been so humiliated, so made into a spermless, gutless single celled amoeba....his only recourse is to apologize to Melissa n a note and hang his sorry self in a closet!
This story is horrid! Total subjugation of anything male, honest or sexy!
I loved it. I completely get why he couldn't get his mind off Kaylee, I can't get my mind off Kaylee and she's not even real! LOL
I don't think I liked Kaylee at all, does she not care about her sister? Why was she trying so freaking hard .-.
I agree with No1OfConsequence, to some degree. I was waiting for a twist or additional information. As it is I would summarize this story as follows: The mountains went into labour- and gave birth to a mouse.
All that build up for a quickie in the shower?
And the characters: Melissa, oblivious about her sisters personality; Kaylee, striving to seduce her sister's boyfriend to just sample him once or twice, while she has her pick of college students? And the guy? Presumably in his mid twenties, he has been able to maintain a committed relationship with Melissa. They were not living on a deserted island or in a country where it's customary for females to be clad in loose fitting clothes from head to toe. Still, the story gives no indication of him being tempted by female beauty outside his relationship in the past. And suddenly he behaves like some 14 or 16 year old boy, has no self control whatsoever? A man at his age being that pathetic is just unfathomable. Other than that, if you would have given any background to make Kaylee's motivation and goals understandable, preferably less shallow, it could have been somewhat good.
Literally one of the best stories I've read in the genre.. that build up though omfg
I kept waiting for the punch line, but there wasn't one.
Do you actually know any men like the protagonist?
There is no way, none, zilch, zero, that a young woman like Kaylee would be interested in such a weak individual.
The only way this makes any sense is that Melissa is the boss, he's her beta male for now "boyfriend" until someone she really wants shows up, and Kaylee hates her older sister for some reason and is using her lame excuse for a boyfriend as some sort of twisted revenge.
Fun thought, reverse gender roles, and see how twisted this read.
The guy struck me as being a pussy afraid of his lust for the sister that obviously wanted him to give her a hot fuck.
If he really didn't want her there, he would have insisted she leave the next day.
Great work. The battle of trying to do the right thing against temptation is a classic, but you made this nearly unbearable. The one thing was a little unclear was what Kaylee's motivation was. At various times she seemed like she enjoyed torturing him, but others she seemed to really want him. Also some kind of reason that she was willing to betray her sister would have been good.
...lame, incomplete and one-dimensional.
Which would be fine if this was a typical 'hit it and quit it' story with the sex happening by the fifth paragraph and the 'plot' being an acknowledged flimsy prelude just to get us to the action.
Only that is clearly NOT what you were going for here.
Melissa is essentially an empty box, a place holder, for woman 'X', getting cucked, BY HER OWN SISTER, in large part either through her own obliviousness or literal absence.
Kaylee is a garbage human, willing to destroy her sister, even as she disingenuously spends quality 'girl time' with her.
The unnamed protagonist is a weak-willed male of the tropiest sort. He's such an extreme stereotype that he is an overplayed joke. Clearly you hate men, as your reputation for writing them this way is remarked on repeatedly. Perhaps this is just therapy for you then?
Whatever the reasoning, this was drawn out and boring, with nary a character to feel much , if any, sympathy for.
Based on what others have commented, I now know I need never read any of your other work.
1 star, because zero or minus are not available.
People actually like this? Dude was a weak chicken shit. Feel sorry for the older sister. Imagine the fallout when that happens...you know she'll find out...oh, of course, this is going to be a thing where Melissa is ok with it, and joins,right? Fuck. I'm done. This guy in the story should man up, break up with Melissa, and just fuck the shit out of the little bitch for a while. Not even a little turned on, just disgusted, and sorry to have wasted so much time reading about this punk.
I agree with you I wish he won and not her. Man the sister was a bitch! He should have yelled for Melissa in the shower. Catch that bitch in action and throw her out on her ass. Honestly if that happened to my boyfriend or husband and I saw his hard on in the shower I wouldn't be happy about it but I would be proud that he yelled for me. Like we could work it out because I know he personally didn't want it but his dick did. Good story either way, I thought I was reading a story on "TheTalkMan's" page.
More! More! More! I loved your writing! Got me pretty riveted on the story!
It was great but I personally would have preferred him to win not that bitch.
Very wrong ending. The shower scene when she is so worked up and needing him he should have slapped her butt and wished her a nice ride home and left her there going out o her mind and then told her I can tease too see ya. Have a nice day.
Oh no! Sexy teen tries it on and adult male is too fucking dim to refuse Andrew shut her down. Really??
I think I felt like the MC as I was reading this. There was so much literary teasing going on between you and the reader; it kept me on edge the entire read! Instant favourite and instant 5 stars
Great lead up! After all that tease, I want to hear how he gives in to his desires and lays down his dick and plows Kaylee during her next visit! Id want to know how they sneak around, not get caught, and all the steamy ways they fuck each other into oblivion.
I loved the build up myself ..... I would really like that part 2 when she returns !!!! Can he put a stop to it (hope not ;)
this guy is acting like a pussy when all that's needed is a little dominance and cour
age, to call her on her bullshit and tell melissa what's going on. let them deny all they
want. when they call him a pervert "well I'm not the one parading around half dressed" this story is all about being pussy-whipped and a clear demonstration to
male of w h a t n o t to do . There is always a power struggle and a lot of fem
ales will respect you if they find you can't be intimidated. You must be willing to give
up the pussy: willing to walk away, or have her walk away, if she doesn't stop trying to
dominate you. Best to start of as a dom and never let her even begin to put you on the defensive: continually put her in the position of agree/submit or leave while you
give her small compliments and appreciations.
.
The story was well written, but this would definitely go under Nonconsent/Reluctance if the roles were reversed. The rape-y vibes from Kaylee made it a bit difficult to enjoy.
A good story but needed more sex scenes - I would like be tempted by a girl like Kaylee
I fucked my mother in-law and the morning after...............
Hot as hell, but a weak payoff. Seven pages for one sex scene? Lame.
Imagine fucking her in a tent, with your girlfriend sleeping right next to you.
I'd fuck my girlfriend to sleep, then let Kaylee suck my cock to taste her sister's cunt.
Then fuck that sweet young tease again, fill her up with load after load of my cum.
Even better get them to go skinny dipping and fuck them both.
Just like her hot story about kissing her girlfriend, with her girlfriend sucking her sensitive nipples.
She is a little freak, love it.
This story was incredible! From the details to the raw emotions overall. Throughout this whole story, I was very conflicted. Much like the main character in fact, which I'm sure you did somewhat purposely. As a reader, I both loved and hated the characters, especially Kaylee. I loved her for the eroticism as well as that cocky sexy demeanor and the enticing pleasure she brings. I hated her for acting so smug and her overly confident persona. And for making me like her all the more for it! You made me me experience a roller coaster of emotions, all types of ideals and thought provoking concepts were manipulated, as an author should do! You made readers feel, and that's what's important in a story. Whether the concept was wrong or right, whether it had a fairy tale ending or a nightmarish one, whether people love you or hate you, if you can get readers to think, feel, or question...you are an accomplished author. You have a skill sir, so I say this. Fuck you and I look forward to the next story :).
Well written and totally erotic. I couldn't wait for the next chapter. Well done and I look forward to the next one.
I found it quite compelling story telling and have voted 5*****
Jane Marwood
Don't write any more drivel like this. You are much better than this.
FUCK that girl. I've never wanted a story like this to end in a fucking murder, but this was just ridiculous. FUCK YOU. Completely got me out of the fucking mood, if I could rate this fucking piece of shit I'd give it a -5. Please write another fucking chapter just so you can kill this fucking bitch off. God I'm so fucking pissed off.
First off, Kaylee was a stark raving bitch. I really disliked her from the first. I'm as attracted to women as the next guy but she really turned me off. Pushing her sister's boyfriend to cheat from the moment she showed up. Second, the guy was an asshole as well. All he had to do was be firm, tell her no and mean it. But he was a waffling loser and so got himself in deeper and deeper. But the main fault was hers'. She was after him from the first moment and never let up. I finished the story, (I'm just the kind who finishes whatever story he starts), but didn't like it - or them - from start to finish. Glad that is over.
This story is long but I will admit I was hooked because even though I wanted the guy to fuck the little sister right away. You just kept me in the edge of my seat the entire time I was reading. The anticipation and the teasing from the slutty sister was really hot!! I think he should have fucked the slutty little sister in the ass. Oh yeah!! It would have made the story more enticing!! ;)
Forced myself to keep reading until page 5, then I just couldn't make myself care anymore. Hated the loser boyfriend, constantly complaining and whining. I found myself hoping he never got laid. Couldn't stand the constant "um's" and "uh's", that caused the story to be stilted and dragging throughout. All in all I gave it a 1.
Is that NOBODY is that stupid. Boy was this bad.
Way too much "uh's" and "um's". The story would have moved smoothly except for the silly stuttering. It really detracted from the obvious teasing and foreplay. He could have fucked little sister until her eyeballs rolled up in her head and it would have made a better read. Big sis must be a "semi-klutz" not to sense her sister was trying to screw her boyfriend. He acted like such a dumb bastard it's a wonder one, if not all of them, didn't trip over his dick. Little sis is a nempho, and he's a nincompoop! Aside from that, it was a pretty good read....
The following is a critique of the story not the wank. Bless the wankers cause they need it hard. __________________________________________
__________________________________________
A summery of my proper ending: Breakup
__________________________________________
His girlfriend had enlisted her baby-sister for a final test to see if he was the one to wed. Needles to say it was a total failure exposing him as driven by fear not love or respect. The gutless jerk is flushed.
__________________________________________
He had an almost endless number of options to succeed: From temporary moving out, inviting friends over, keeping his pants on, to various degrees of exposing Kaylees activities to her sister. __________
. . Even talking with his boss, having Kaylee agree to a spanking and then continue beyond kinky to blue and black or realizing his moment of weakness and initiating a breakup himself could have worked. ____
. . He didn't care about his girlfriend enough to risk their relationship for her sake. It was all about his own fear and lust. He was bound to cheat sooner or later. No prior examples of his girlfriend mistrusting him were raised in the parts I suffered reading justifying his silence. Not once did he give his girlfriend a clue or sought help.
Wonderful build up, with all the right details. For future work, I suggest avoiding too much italicizing of words throughout the story. After a while all the slanted words becomes a little obnoxious and throws off the tone. I would also consider reducing the amount of "ums" and "uhs" in the dialogue, as it becomes redundant. Otherwise, very steamy and extremely arousing.
Great story, perfect timing, and a great cast.
If it where me, Kaylee would have had a fuck buddy all week.
What I really liked is when he was in bed with her sister, and she came into the room.
She would have left with a mouthful.
But that's just me.
Would like to hear about her next visit!!!!!
Your storytelling was amazing and drew me in instantly. But I spent the whole story yelling at him for being a pathetic pussy with a weak constitution. It made me so angry that someone could let themselves be controlled and manipulated like that. What a stupid whore of a sister and useless excuse of man he is! I can't stand weak willed people! You should write so she finds out and beats the shit out of both of them with a baseball bat!
I have read in years ! Something very near this happened to me years ago and I still think of it !! Much like him I hesitated but eventually went for it.
Any grown man would have put Kaylee in her place. Then exposed her to Melissa if she continued.
The more I read this story, the more irritated I became. Our protagonist sounds nothing more like a pussy-whipped sixteen-year old. I skimmed about...italics...blah...blah...blah...scantily-clad...girlfriend...tease. The End.
I'm not dead between the legs by any means, but this story just rubbed me the wrong way (no pun intended).
Loved this story. You did a good job developing the characters and putting them back into those compromising situations. Maybe not entirely realistic, but hey! This is erotica, not a documentary! Your care in craft of writing - attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling greatly enhances the reading experience for me.
My only wish was that, at some point, he would have got the chance to take her up on that spanking!
One of the best erotic stories I ever read. It doesn't need gang bangs and weired stuff to be exciting, just an intelligent set up for seduction and lust.
Please go on writing. I appreciate so much.
He made his own life miserable. Pehaps the way to handle the situation would of been head on. Keeping all of his lust inside, well it just builds. Exposing the situation in that small apartment. He still would have the opportunity to lose his relationship with Melissa. Just a story, can girls do that to men, I not sure I have the courage to say No. Only one girl ever teased me, with exposing her pantys but not anything like this.
Fun read Thanks.
....i couldn't even get past page one. Why do authors do that?! A full grown man and theres a little pussy around and they write him like he's a fucking twelve year old sporting a woody in front of a nude playboy model.
"How are you this morning?"
"W w wwell, u uuh. I i-im d d doin ng o ok."
Always with the bullshit stuttering, always acting like his dick is going to explode if he doesnt do sonething about it. Hell my wife lets her hot nieces stay over when their in town, they parade around in the morning and at night with virtually nothing on, doing the usual 'I really dont mind my cute uncle looking at my tits and ass and puffy pussy that shows through my lil tight panties that Im only wearing around to get his attention and I can wank off a little later in my room thinking about him coming in here and fucking me good when auntie goes to work!' Routine... But I sure as hell dont stutter, walk around with a woodie or act like a kid. Yeesh. Write it a bit more realistic so that we can at least enjoy reading it. Please!
Just not so much that other girls who put major effort into it can't get me to think about them instead of Melissa and eventually get me to cheat on her...
And you, Kaylee, love your sister but not near enough not to break up her relationship...
Have the decency to at least tell your girlfriend that you're breaking up with her. Let her "loving sister" be the one to explain how guys are more interested in giving into her seduction than in staying faithful...
It would serve Kaylee right if she effectively lost her big sister since clearly she doesn't care enough about HER anyway...
Enjoyable read though I dislike him. He's got no freaking clue what he wants apparently.
It is ridiculous to think of calling en_extase's work anything but masterful. The agony of circumstance, of choice, is perfectly balanced. This story is intelligent and elite.
Great story first of all - Thanks!
The way she relentlessly goes after him no matter what is actually quite amusing I think.
A great read I for one would like to see continued.
/K
That much is clear but, as someone else said here, the constant stuttering....for fucks sake. Enough! We get it, the guy is a bitch. That's goddamn annoying by the way, the fact that the men in your stories have no fucking balls. I really did enjoy the story but I just kept thinking to myself "Oh my god, what a bitch. Fucking grow a pair"
I was on pins and needles wondering if she was going to get fucked or not.
It looked like you were making a way to continue with this story at the end.
Maybe you could expand the story when she comes back from spring break.
Don't listen to the haters. More please but with him actually fucking Kaylee without the sister around. And cumming all over her face and body.
I enjoyed that! I went through my younger years wishing I could be one of the smaller, good looking guys, so there would be some danger of women I found attractive actually being able to take me against my will. I'd love to read a story like this one where some young woman leads another couple of women to take turns having their way with a guy, despite any efforts he might make to the contrary.
I have also lusted after my wife's little sister and could identify with this story. Try to get it said in fewer words.
I wish...... Uh, um, uh.... There weren't, um..... Uh, so many, uh...... Speech impedements in the dialogues. Would've made the, uh..... Sssto-ory more....... Um, satisfactory.
A lot of men would have broken - good attention to detail, and nice build up on tension. I wish the story were longer with the teasing more drawn out unlike the naysayers!
What a pathetic man who couldn't tell the sister to back off.
The erotic stuff wasn't bad though, but still. I really hope men have more backbone than this. At least I would have.
So erotic, loved the build up. I think most readers were also hard wishing to fuck Kaylee. I know I've never been so hard reading a story I had to get my wife to suck me afterwards.
Ok, so I suffered through it. I didn't even get hard. Not once. It was actually fucking depressing. :( The dude WAS a spineless pussywhipped (by the sister AND girlfriend) spineless thirteen year old bastard. He should have either fucked her on day one or turned her over his knee on day one or spanked her ass so hard on day two when she asked for it that she couldn't sit down the rest of the week, or bounced her ass out the front door. (I'm for option 2 and 3 actually.)
I love a good buildup as much as the next person, but with the male character being such a loser (well I guess they're all dysfunctional, eh?;) it just sucked the fun out of it.
...and the girlfriend is almost as annoying. Yeesh. I just don't see how this story is enjoyable at all, sorry. I tried, honestly. Read it all the way through even though I was way way done by page three. :(
Oh, and the constant 'um' and 'uh' was highly irritating. :( I've got an upset stomach from just reading the damned thing now.
I'm not going to rate it at all, mostly because it's obviously more a matter of opinion and what people like as opposed to poor writing skill or poor plot development (well setting aside the annoying um and uh stuff). Thanks for writing it anyway, I'll have to check out some of your other stuff!
Well I'm going to probably keep reading the story to the end because there are so many positive reviews, right now I think I"m starting on page 2. Had to jump to the end though because the characters have me pissed off! :) The dude acts more like a 13 year old kid instead of a grown man. Should have kicked her ass out or called her on it in front of his wife from the get go. Worried that he had a hardon because of her and his wife getting 'upset' about it? Dude is a pussywhipped wimp! ...and his wife getting pissy because he was wiggling around on the sofa giving him the eye? Fuck that! ...oh, and the constand 'uh' everywhere. (grinding teeth) ...sigh, guess I'll keep reading since everyone seems to like it. Can't imagine 6 pages of tease though, may not make it :/
Seriously what's with the constant 'um...I .... ' people don't talk like that maybe one character who's shy but not a dominant. This story was too long and just kept rambling.
What a great tease! The minx! Enthralled and enraptured by this tale of tail. The danger is an aphrodisiac.
Best of fortunes, looking forward to reading more.
D.
WOW I would have got her the first day, and wouldn't have stopped till the little tease moved in and had my babies. sweet young pussy. makes the world go round.
Once again, a great job of writing. The ending in the shower with the g.friend coming in to the bathroom to chat while he was fucking her sister was awesome! Unlike others, I love the drawing out of the tension throughout the chapters. Good job.
I am floored at how amazing this story fell under my radar for so long. This was/is EXACTLY the type of story I've wanted to write myself because nobody had before! Thank you so much for understanding how to develop a character like Kaylee and how to expertly pace her teasing in a way that was believable and hot at the same time! Just fucking awesome. Hopefully you continue to write similar themed stories where women fully utilize their sexual wares and power over men in a similar fashion. Thanks again!
Skipped the middle and judging by the end I missed little if anything.
Drawn out.
So, this story really highlights the weakness of the male mind and flesh. And it was a 19 year-old that played him and manipulated him. Technically, I guess I can say the plotline was good even with some very minor grammatical and punctuation errors, but just the idea that he let her do that to him makes me want to mock the male population---oh wait, this is about fantasy right? I guess its accurate to say this isn't a fantasy of mine to have such a weak-ass boyfriend since it didn't do it for me.
Dumbass should have just let his girlfriend know what her jerk-ass her sister was doing, even if it would have pissed her off, and the older sister should have just *beat* her younger sister's ass.
Yeah, so just some of my tamer thoughts. But objectively speaking it was a pretty good story.
Love italics, right? Do teenagers really emphasize words in each sentence? Must be a strain. The story was okay just not memorable.
This story was utterly amazing! I don't usually leave comments after reading but I couldn't just go after reading this one!
This story in my opinon, is the best story I have ever read. I was reading it for the purpose of release and excitment. I recieved more than expected. As far as character depth, I do not feel it was necessary, unless you were not reading for the same purpose. I will become a Litrotica member now due to this story. I have been a Lit browser for years. I am posting from MB, Canada.
SERIOUSLY, THIS WAS A FUCKING AMAZING STORY!!!! I'M STILL AROUSED.
P.S -If that little sister is a real person I need to marry her. Lol
feel free to email for more raving lol
Wow, I hate to admit for once that I have to agree with an anonymous poster...
9/13/12, the post about impressive writing skills but lack of character depth, essentially reflects my own feelings.
First, why should the narrator feel loyal to Melissa? What was their strong bond? Except for the one night where she has sex with him, I didn't really perceive any attraction between them. I also noticed that Melissa's behavior and words were often belittling to the narrator, implying he was a "dumb muscle" at the very beginning, scolding him later about not hanging out with her sister. I found it hard to comprehend what kept the two together for several years. It wasn't until the end shower scene where Melissa is concerned with his health that I actually could believe she genuinely cared deeply for him. There's also the fact he's practically obsessing over Kaylee. So an attractive young woman shows you some attention - what kind of guy, if he's in a committed long-term relationship has such obsessive thoughts drive him to such levels of distraction?
My next thoughts were about the apparent lack of Kaylee's character. She's a college aged girl, yes, but otherwise, what drives her to be that obsessed with tempting and seducing the narrator? Is it her crush on him from before? Is it because she's simply that slutty? Or could she have a bit of jealousy of her sister? I doubt that last possibility since they seemed to have a strong sisterly bond. But there didn't seem to be a clear motivation for her to act that way.
Well, besides those few complaints I had, your writing skills and sense of erotic build-up are quite exceptional. I will say I tend to only comment on stories that either impress me, or invoke an emotional response. I admit I was able to feel the narrator's anxiety and confusion, although, personally, I have always sought open communication in my relationships, so I couldn't understand why he wasn't more firm and open with Melissa about what was going on, especially if he truly cared for and valued their relationship.
Needless to say, I did really enjoy the story telling and the impeccably erotic and slow build-up.
Rex
I really love your story telling. This is what Adult movies should be like. More build-up and teasing instead of just going straight for the sex and close-ups of pussies.
Although a lot of your stories are incredibly sensual and seductive, and show great craft as a writer, I always find myself disappointed by the depth of the characters beyond the coupling. Although it's often stories of a man in a relationship being seduced by another girl, there is never any real romance either between the man and his girlfriend, or between him and the seductress. I never understand why she is seducing him apart from wanting to steal someone's man in some grand act of disdain for all man.
I love that girl she is so good and devilish.. would have given up a long time ago lol
That was AMAZING!! PLEASE make the sequel!!! I read all you stories, not your book, and this is byfar the best! Please!
I screamed Sequel Please!!!!!!! I love all the built-up tension, teasing, and anticipating you created. It just made the story so good and intriguing. I couldn't stop reading. If you ever think of writing sequel for that promising summer, please do! Kaylee is a skilled slutty temptress and I love it! xD
This story was so hot. I will second the person who said the stammering dialogue was over-used and distracting. There better be a sequel about that summer vacation, and it better be soon!
I love ur stories. I can totally relate with your characters - love to tease. Great job!
This had a subtle and awesome effect on me as the story moved slowly towards awesome sex...
This was by far the best story on literotica that I have ever read.
I've been coming here - ;) - for about ten yrs now and have easily read over two thousand stories -- and this one tops them all. Best author on this site, no questions asked. Thank you for sharing your amazing writing, character building, and plot development, to say the least. I also hope you continue this story with her kid sister visiting again, or meeting up at family events, or surprising him at work, etc etc.
Either way, brilliant !!
This was superb. The overuse of stammering dialogue was a bit of a bother, but from the first sentence, you had me hooked. I hope there's a sequel in the works. I want more of Kaylee.
Been checking out your work, normally a fan and I'm not saying I didn't like this, it certainly had an effect (which is the point of any fiction right?).
In this case the effect was perhaps not the one desired. I got more pissed off at the dude and Kaylee for the entire story. I was hoping he'd get punched in the head and she'd be run over by an errant freight train. Very slowly.
He needed to grow some balls and tell Melissa everything without fully giving in or they needed to get caught and both kicked out of her life forever. Either way Kaylee needed to learn a serious life lesson about not betraying family. That or the agonising death thing...
I read a lot of stories on literotica ( or at least started before realizing they suck ) and you are by far the best writer ! I mean you keep the reader interested from the first word you write ! Just please , keep it up and dont change your writing style . This " good guy trying to resist a hot bad girl " stories are just great .
Right up until the final lines, I did wonder if Melissa knew all about Kaylee's plans. Or will discover them in time for the hinter-at sequel?
I thought this was tease. I pictured the two sisters planning this to test him and then give him the opportunity for a threeway.
Ok yeah that other person is a douche. They knew what the story from the summary, why read it? Anyway omg completely hot! Please continue! I got so wet from it ;)
so when are you going to continue?
Ignore the dipstick with the pathetic "sociopathic" crap!
But it's REALLY close to Waking to Dawn, down to the male character constantly mumbing "Um, No" and the Kaylee's turn ons are almost the same as Dawn's. But Kaylee was not as annoying as Dawn and the male character was more fleshed out.Great job!
I saw where the story was going and paged thru it, speed reading it until the last page. IMHO, the situation had appeal but it went wrong for me. The story has young sis deliberately seducing her sis's BF without a qualm; to me that reeks of a sociopathic or narcissistic user personality.
No thanks.
This is the second story of yours that I have read and it is equally as impressive as the first. A great scenario, but more importantly, wonderful storytelling.
I vote no for a follow up, it's perfect as it is and the tension would not be there second time around. A similar story involving a beautiful seductress and a reluctant man? Definitely!
Congratulations!
What a horny storyline. I wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes with a sexy little temptress like that. Keep writing.
Great writing dude...just a tantalizing build up from this horrible yet sexy tease. Your stories are awesome and fun reading
This is definitely in the top five stories I have read on this sight. The build up has such an organic pace that really adds to the plausibility, and the prose is quite beautiful. I was actually in a very similar situation to his with my landlord's 18 year old daughter a few years back. It even included me rubbing lotion on her while she casually pulled the waist band and top of her bikini out of the way to ensure that I could get all of her tan lines; all while casually talking about completely mundane things. She had been at Coney Island, was locked out of her house, and had gotten more sun than she had hoped. It was so nice to relive that "relationship" it through this piece. The landlord's daughter ALSO wanted to hear about when, where, and how old she was the first time I wanted to fuck her. This story was almost uncanny in its realism. Well done.
Man, I kept hoping he'd take the out, tell the girlfriend what happened, and then it would turn into a three-way. I don't know, good story, but I don't like the fact the narrator was such a weak-willed dipshit. Still hope there's eventually a sequel.
I really liked this, some girls are more like boys at that age, sex sex sex is all they can think of as they have just got a hot new body and now know what it is for, great read, I hope you have done the follow up.....
So much, I completely fell into the character's mind. This story is single-handedly the best I've read to date on this website.
I'm 22 and read your stories from my iPhone while I... Well. :-)
You're an incredible writer!
I really want to meet you.