by Lusted82
I enjoyed your story. You have some storytelling talent but need a firm hand in your English and sentence structure. You may find that if you re-read your story aloud to yourself, this may help. You'll catch what needs to be fixed because you will hear it.
There are several third-party programs and apps (Grammarly comes to mind) that may also help.
If I only have to read one more pandemic story, it'll be 5000 too many in my lifetime.