Stranger Things on Heaven and Earth

Clatter.

Clunk.

Something bumped up against my feet.

I looked down and blinked. The something that had fallen down the stairs and rolled up to my feet looked a hell of a lot like a grenade.. Not like a modern grenade, but like, one of those old-timey grenades with the long wooden handle at the base. I opened my mouth to ask Tabby what the hell that was when she tackled me to the ground behind one of the boilers. A second later, the grenade off with a roar like the end of the world. My ears rang and my vision blurred as I sprawled on the ground. Tabby was looking down at me, shouting at me. Her voice felt distant and muffled. But slowly, I became aware of what she was saying.

"Are you okay!?" she shouted.

"Yes!" I bellowed back.

I scrambled to my feet, to show just what I meant. I staggered out from behind the boiler and saw that the rest of the room looked...well, like a bomb had gone off. Lights were shattered, pipes were perforated, and a distant fire alarm was ringing. Then I jerked back as movement came around the corner. Well. More like I was dragged back. By Tabby. Because she dragged me backwards as something came around the corner and filled the air I had been standing in with bullets. As the ringing pounded against my ears, I clapped my hands to my head.

"What!?" I shouted.

"Ah, my apologies, Fraulein!"

I blinked.

Tabby scowled. She was holding her backpack in her free hand and I was relieved to see Spike was inside, with the credit card. I gulped, then peeked my head around the corner, just to be sure that-

I jerked my head back as Otto Schmidt filled the air with bullets. He was loaded for bear. He wasn't just holding a freaking sub-machine gun. He also had a pair of pistols, a fucking combat knife, and at least three more of those grenades. It felt like we had stepped into a goddamn action movie.

"Don't shoot!" Tabby shouted. "Just. Okay. Don't shoot! I'll come out with my hands up, just don't kill him!"

"Ah, Fraulein Sparkle...do you think I believe that?" Otto chuckled.

"Sparkle?" I whispered.

Tabby stepped out, her hands held up, her backpack dangling from the right one. "Listen," she said, her voice calm. "You want the reality seed. That's it. That's all you came for, eh, Skorzeny?"

That feeling again. That feeling of familiarity. It tickled along my spine, even as I heard the sounds of the lockdown. Of course the school was going into fucking lockdown. We had trained for it, as fucked up as that sounded. Students were running for cover as we spoke. Hey. At least this guy wasn't just here to shoot the place to shit. If he had, I'd hate to imagine what grenades could do to a class cowering in their rooms.

Otto chuckled. "True. But I am also more than eager to kill you, Princess."

And with that, he riddled Tabby with bullets.

"No!" I screamed, but it was too late. Tufts of blood exploded from her as she danced backwards, then sprawled to the ground. I gaped in shock, gaped at the dark holes across her blue blouse. Then Otto sprang forward, grabbed the backpack, and turned to leap away. Spike shouted at him, growled, barked, tried to scramble out of the backpack. But it didn't matter. He was gone -- dragged up the stairs by Otto. I flung myself down beside Tabby, my hands shaking as I put my hands on her chest, trying to staunch the...the...

My brow furrowed.

In the darkness of the boiler room, she had looked like she was filling the air with blood. But rather than feeling sticky warmth and heat on my fingers, I was touching tattered cloth and cold, silky material. Tabby groaned softly, writhing underneath me, then hissed. "Celestia's bouncy's butt that hurt."

"Y-You're alive?" I whispered.

"Yeah...carbon...fiber...vest..." She gasped. "Ow. Ow. Ow."

I helped her to her feet. She wasn't entirely unharmed -- blood seeped from her arms and she hissed and gasped and whispered quiet not-quite curse words under her breath. She hung her head forward as I supported her with her arm around my shoulders. I gulped and hazarded a guess.

"I-I think you broke a rib," I whispered.

"We have to stop him. Slow him down..." She whispered.

I nodded.

The two of us got up the stairs -- and then I heard the gunshots again. There were a few short, sharp ones. Pistol shots, I thought. Then the brrrpt of Otto's submachine gun, then screams and groans. Shit. That was the campus security officer. I hurried with Tabby, who walked with me, hissing in pain every few feet. We came to the corner and I held up my hand to press it against the wall stopping me and Tabby at the corner. Peeking around, I saw that Otto was reloading his machine gun. A groaning, sprawled body lay beside him -- poor Officer Thomas was not wearing a Doc Brown bulletproof vest. Definitely not.

I felt sick.

"Distract him!" Tabby hissed.

"How?" I whispered.

Tabby, who had drawn away from me and was fishing her shockingly undamaged phone out. She tapped a green app on her phone and sighed in relief. I heard a faint crack and pop in her ribs, and her skin closed, wounds healing away as she looked at me: "I-I don't know. Try something."

I blinked -- and filed my questions away for later. I bit my lip, considered, then leaned around the corner.

"Hey! Dipshit!" I shouted.

"That works..." Tabby whispered as Otto spun around. He smirked as he stepped away from the prone body of the security officer.

"Ah! Malik, yes?" he called out. "Do you seek vengeance? Don't. You aren't Aryan, but she was a true subhuman."

I blinked.

Then, just as on the bus, realization thunked home. Tabby sounded exactly like Tara Strong, which made seeing her as Twilight Sparkle made a kind of sense. And that was why she had been so familiar. But why had Otto been twigging my brain?

See...

I knew the name Otto Skorzeny. It had just taken a bit for me to get it.

My mouth worked slowly in shock, then I leaned out. "I...I'd call it an honor, Herr Skorzeny. But I don't find it a pleasure to meet a member of the fucking Waffen S.S."

"Ah, I'm remembered!" he laughed.

"Yeah, and fucking dead!" I shouted back. "Otto Skorzeny, the real one, was executed in like, the fucking 60s when Mossad caught him."

"Reality, as they say..." Otto said. "Is flexible."

He sounded like he was shifting to the right, getting ready to flank me out. I gulped slightly, then peeked out. He fired a short burst and I jerked my head back and away from the spray of insulation and shattered tiling that the bullets kicked up. In that short glance, I could see he was flush with the right side of the corridor and that the security officer had crawled up against the left side of the room, leaving a bleeding smear on the ground.

"Who are you, really!?" I shouted.

"I am Otto Skorzeny. But not your Otto," he said, chuckling. Then, quietly. "If I could kill a few hundred of those fucking lizards, I can kill one pony princess-"

Tabby's phone buzzed. She nodded, then looked up at me.

"Duck," she said.

"What?"

She grabbed me and dragged me down. Again.

The blaring sound of the horn was the only warning before the sixteen wheeler smashed in through the front doors of the school. Otto swung to face it as it smashed forward, the roof of the cab tearing off against the ceiling, filling the air with debris and fragments of ceiling tile. Otto dove into a classroom, shouldering the door open as the truck's wheels squealed, tearing up the floor of the school and filling the air with even more dust. It came to a stop beside where I and Tabby were hiding. I slowly uncovered my head and looked up.

The driver of the truck was a woman, mid twenties. She was astoundingly fit, with taut muscles and firm breasts. Her face was beautiful, with olive-brown skin only slightly streaked with dust. She wore a leather jacket and a white T-shirt. Her hair was short and raven black and straight. Glossy, even. Like silk, I was sure. Her eyes were the most arresting shade of green I had ever seen. Stormy and focused.

But most striking was the immense, port wine birthmark covering the left side of her face.

She looked down at the two of us, grinned, and said: "Greetings. I'm a sentient citizen of the League of People's. Now, lets get the fuck out of here before the prehistoric Nazi gets back on his feet."

I gaped at her.

Tabby, though, knew what she was doing. She scrambled to her feet and dragged me into the cab. The two of us crammed in past the woman, who was buckled up tight. She checked to make sure we were bucked in, then threw the truck into reverse. The wheels squealed and we backed out over the rubble. Otto emerged from where he had tumbled, looking shaken and stunned. He brought his submachine gun up.

"Sparkle!" The driver shouted.

Tabby, who had gotten into the far seat, leaving me in the center, leaned out of the cab, then flipped open her phone. She aimed it at him, then tapped it. Otto's shoulder shimmered and he was jerked forward, then smashed into the wall as the backpack he had stolen tore itself off his back and flew towards Tabby. She caught it and squeaked.

"Gotcha!"

"Twilight!" Spike shouted from inside.

Then the woman threw the truck into some new gear, smashed her foot down on the accelerator, and swung us around. I felt the wheels lift and was sure the truck was going to tilt. But instead it smashed back to the ground and rocketed away from the school with a roar and a spray of exhaust. The woman driving it breathed slowly in relief, her eyes narrowing to slits. I, myself, was trying to not pass out from the sheer level of what the absolute fuck.

I got about two blocks before I could speak.

"What!?" I squeaked.

"Do you want to explain or should I get the nuralizer?" the driver asked, flashing a grin at me to show she was joking. I hoped.

"What!?" I looked at Tabby.

Tabby, who was holding Spike to her chest and petting him frantically, sighed and looked at me. "Malik, um..." she paused. "No, we can't, Festina. If we wipe his memory, Otto will still remember him."

Festina's face twisted as she shook her head. "Motherfucker."

Tabby flushed, darkly. "Festina!"

"Sorry, Princess," Festina said, grinning. "Goddamn motherfucker."

"Okay. Okay. Time out." I held up my hands. The wind that was roaring by felt refreshing -- though it did remind me that the only reason my face was getting fresh air was because the truck was driving along without a fucking roof. "Explain. What the flying fuck is going on?"

Tabby sighed. "Lets start with names." She paused. "My name...is not Tabby." She looked down. "It's Twilight. Twilight Sparkle." She coughed. "Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship. If you want the full title."

I gaped at her.

I slowly looked at Festina.

Festina grinned at me. "Lieutenant Admiral Festina Ramos, Technocracy Outward fleet," she said, shrugging. "Part time associate of the Estate." She shot me a wry look. "Your summer vacation is only going to get weirder, kid."

I put my hands over my face. "The...the Estate?" I slid my hand down. "What the fuck is the Estate!? No, wait, lets ask the more important questions. Like..." I thrust a finger at Festina, my voice growing hysteric. "You're a goddamn fictional character from a fucking sci-fi book series! And you!" I thrust my finger at Tabby. "Y-You just claimed you're a goddamn My Little Fucking Pony!"

"Hey!" Tabby -- Twilight, I suppose I should start thinking of her as -- looked offended. "We're not the only one whose from a re-" she stopped herself.

"Are what?" I asked.

Festina looked grim. "Might as well tell him, Princess."

Twilight looked away. Her voice was soft. "Y-You...you don't live on Earth, Malik."

"The hell I don't!" I shouted, my voice squeaking.

Twilight looked at me. Her eyes were soft and sad and gentle. "Malik, you're fictional. Just like me. Just like Festina. This whole world, the world that you think covers the whole Earth? It only covers this town. It's a recursion. A recursive pocket dimension -- a bubble world." She paused. "The real Earth, Earth Prime is...well, it's somewhere else."

I gaped at her.

My stomach felt like a yawning gap was howling underneath me. My head swam. I wanted to throw up. Festina put her free hand on my shoulder.

"That's what expendable means, kid," she said, her voice husky.

A low droning noise jerked my attention away from my shock. Festina groaned. "Great. Shithead on our tail." She said, twirling the wheel, bringing us off the road. "Sparkle, do you got any more tricks in your phone?"

"That was my last cipher," Twilight said, looking at one of the side mirrors. Looking into it, I could see a motorcycle roaring along the road behind us. Otto sat on it, gripping both bars. His face was set and determined. He was wearing goggles and a scarf, which made him look way too cool for a murderous Nazi. I gulped, then looked at Festina.

"Don't you have a gun?" I paused. "Wait, yeah. From the books! A hypersonic stunner!"

"Sorry, kid," she said, her teeth clenching. "I'd fucking love to have a stunner. Shit, I'd kill to have a bumbler-" she shook her head. The novels that she had come from, well, they had some neat bits of tech. Hypersonic stunners, to knock people out. Bumblers were multi-purpose scanning devices. Both would be nice, though, um, the stunner would have been better. Much better. "-but this recursion doesn't have hypertech."

"What does it have?" I asked, scowling. "Why is there a pocket universe with a small American suburb in it?"

"Uh." Festina actually blushed. It was easy to see, despite her intense birthmark.

"Reasons!" Twilight said -- but then Otto interrupted her by blowing the side mirror off with a spray of bullets. As the mangled mass that remained sagged, I started to think wildly. I had brought my backpack too -- I had almost forgotten it was on. I shifted it around, then stood, shakily, unbuckling my seat.

"Okay, Festina!" I said, my voice firm. "Hit the brakes when I tell you."

"I hate this plan," Festina said, biting my lip as she swerved the truck to the side, cutting off the motorcycle that was still roaring behind us. I gritted my teeth, then shouted.

"Now!"

The brakes slammed down and the truck squealed. Smoke poured from the wheels and the motorcycle that was tailing us swerved hard to instead get up beside us. Otto wasn't wearing a helmet as he tried to keep his bike under control -- and then I beaned him right in the fucking head with my backpack. The impact sent him sprawling and the motorcycle skittering underneath the wheels of the truck. The jouncing, bouncing of the wheels rolling over the motorcycle pitched me into Twilight's lap. She clutched me with a squeak. Then Festina was driving us away.

I breathed out a slow sigh, my eyes half closed.

"That was very brave," Twilight whispered in my ear. "Thanks."

She kissed my cheek.

My whole body burned and I felt about five hundred feet tall.

"All right, kids," Festina said, her hands tightening on the wheel. "We're about to hit the edge of the Recursion. Lets hope Verse didn't keep the fucking door closed just to laugh as we splatter."

I blinked. We were driving straight towards the highway that led out of town -- accelerating faster and faster and faster. Festina had put the pedal to the metal, and she looked as if it was taking every bit of control she had to not serve out of the way of the onrushing highway. I grabbed onto Twilight, gulping.

"What are we-" I started.

"Hold on!" Twilight shouted.

The sixteen wheeler hit the on ramp, lurched against a kind of rippling membrane that flared to life before us, as if we had driven into a wall of stretchy rubber. We all screamed as the membrane swelled outwards, then snapped. The truck sailed outwards into open space and I continued to scream and scream and scream, even after I realized that the truck wasn't plummeting downwards. Instead, we were sailing forward, slowly skidding to the side, as if the wheels were spinning on water or ice. The scream faded as I took in where we were.

Behind us was a pearlescent sphere roughly the size of a beach-ball. It rippled with light and energy, set into the side of a cloud of semi-solid, ever expanding and retracting fractal material. It was like tessellated tiles, connected together and expanding outwards, then retracting inwards. Like vast lungs made of geometric chaos. But that cloud spread outwards into swirling tendrils of semi-solid material. Surrounding that was a vastness of pale purple fog, rippling and roiling. Dull lightning crackled through the material. Looking upwards, I could see other pale spheres -- some large enough to loom despite the vast distance between us and them, others tiny enough to seem like stars.

Then ahead of us, I saw a sleek, deadly looking...well...spaceship. It had a central hull that was shaped almost like a flattened banana, while a pair of graceful wings swept from the back, with multiple gimbaled engines. Its belly opened like a ramp, and I could see a pair of armored figures standing on the ramp, tossing ropes our way. Festina caught one rope, then tied it quickly around my waist, saying: "Just let them drag you in -- you're not up to fractal surfing right now. Sparkle, you need-"

"No, I got this," Twilight said. She opened the door on her side of the cabin, then stepped out into open air. I cried out, but before I could reach for her, the smoke underneath her feet formed into a silvery wave of solid surface. She spread her arms to keep her balance and the wave bucked forward, sending her rushing for the spaceship. The spaceship I was beginning to recognize. I looked at Festina as I stood, carefully stepping over the crushed wind shield. I stood on the hood of the sixteen wheeler.

"Tell me, Festina," I said, slowly. "Is that...the Normandy?"

"Yup," Festina said.

"From Mass Effect?"

"Yup," Festina said, her voice casual.

"Is that your ship? You captain the Normandy?"

"Huge step down for an Admiral, I know," she said, her voice sardonic.

I looked slowly back at her.

She gestured and the rope around my waist tugged me forward. I floated in the strange not-quite weightlessness of this bizarre place I was in...and soon, I was on the ramp. Festina joined me the same way Twilight had. But as they got onto the ramp, I looked at the two armored figures and blinked slowly. They were both women, but they were as different as night was from day. The woman who had hauled me on was the tallest, most muscular woman I had ever seen. But she was also, like, frighteningly beautiful. Her eyes were almond shaped and her skin was only a shade lighter than Festina's. I figured she was Samoan. That was how she looked. However, she was also clad in a sleek suit of metal armor that looked like it had been designed for any number of sci-fi shows. A pistol was strapped to her hip, bulky and deadly looking.

"You're okay," she said.

"Ah, goodie, a new pet."

The other woman smirked as she looked down at me. She was dressed in a mixture of bronze armor and leather straps, with red dyed fur around her shoulders and thighs. Her feet were clad in sleek sandals, and she looked like a dancer. Her pose and posture all screamed elegance, in the same way her wild mane of dark hair -- interwoven with brightly colored feathers -- screamed wildness and chaos. A pair of very long knives were sheathed at her hips and she looked away from my gape almost immediately.