All Comments on 'The Escape Room - Room 01: Sammy'
by JCBeleren
- 15 Comments
Thank you, Anonymous! I'm glad my random quirky, wizardly character gave you some enjoyment. He isn't featured very prominently in Chapter 2 (unfortunately it's already written!) but thanks to this feedback I'll give him a few funny lines in Chapter 3 to make up for it!
Isn't it against the terms of Amazon's Kindle Unlimited program to publish any work that's actively enrolled within it at any other place, even if it's for free?
I love your story, but would really like more specific details of your female characters bodies. Sammy for example was nude. Are her nipples pink or brown, are they small? Puffy? Or large and flat? Are the nipples like erasers? Is her pussy clean shaven, neatly trimmed or naturally bushy? If she has pubes do they match her golden hair, are they a light brown or black? Is her ass small and petite or big and round. Help your audience paint a detailed picture of your ladies in our minds. The plot of your story is excellent and I can hardly wait for the next story. I just like more details about the sex. What the ladies look like, how they tease, talk dirty, give head, fuck and most importantly how they look. Great details with the pink nail polish and pink lips on Sammy, but need more of the dirty details beneath the clothing. Again love the plot of your story and am anxiously awaiting the next piece.
Thank you, Anonymous, for your feedback! Comments like yours really help me improve and give you what you want to read. In general, I've been hesitant to go into too much physical detail because I was worried it would be too much or would ruin the pacing of the story, but it's good to hear that that's actually what you want! My second chapter is already written, but I may go back and edit it after hearing such great suggestions. If you follow my work in the future, I think you can definitely expect far more elaborate descriptions.
hey, I found your amazon author page, are the copies of the books the same as the ones on this site? I'm asking because I want to know if they're longer (just looking at the page count and curious)
Hey anonymous! I'm so happy you enjoyed the story enough to go find my Amazon page!
Now, to answer your question... The copy of "Room 1: Sammy" that is for sale on Amazon is the same as the one I offered here for free.
I have already published the second chapter of this story on Amazon as well (Room 2: Eliza can be found here - / and I'm not sure if/when I will submit that part of the tale to Literotica. It may come, it may not.
In a nutshell, stories that I post here will be full and complete (unless otherwise noted). I'm working on some longer novel/novella-lengthed pieces and I may end up posting the first few chapters of those here for feedback (in which case it would obviously not be the entire work).
You used it wy to much and I began to get sick of the word
More description of the Female's until he picked Sammy we did not know she was Blonde. In the beginning of the Story would be a Great Time to tell the Audience about his Choices and Why.
I gave it 5 stars cause it was a wonderful setup and I think stays true to the category. But the mindless bimbo thing doesn't do much for me, I'd enjoy it more if the girls' personalities were developed better, or even if it was one girl rather than four, who experiences all four scenarios. I think I'd like it more if the girls resisted the mind control more (but still succumbed). I very much liked the wizard and Drake's descriptions of him. I love the setup/setting so much I will read more, and your writing style is captivating and easy to read.
You can help me...
Hey! It's JC, and I'm here to ask for your professional support.
Have you enjoyed reading my web novels? Do they give you hours of entertainment? Then please consider supporting the artist who wrote them.
If each person who read all the way through one of my novels paid $3-6 (about the price of a bag of potato chips, and less than half the cost of a paperback book) then I would be able to continue writing indefinitely. As it is, my current trajectory will have me drastically cutting down on my writing volume within the next 6 months.
If you feel most comfortable with a one-time payment (like you'd make to purchase a novel in the bookstore) then please visit my Kofi page: />
If you'd like to get early access to new chapters (up to a month before Literotica!) then you should check out my Patreon: />
Across the world, to wherever you are, you have my deepest thanks and my heartfelt gratitude.
With much love,
JC
One down, three to go!
Ah yes the 'friend zone' how I hate it! Looking forward to reading the next chapter. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.