The Nod

Trigger warning: This story does contain an instance of force before evolving later in the story and series. All characters in the story are over the age of 18. Prologue is for immersion.

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The Nod

The story I'm going to tell is real. Though I'm sure at times it may become hard to read for some, my recollection of these events has had a positive impact on my life. At the time, my perspective of what happened and his differ greatly, and after many lengthy conversations with him and my therapist about them I've come to terms with it all. If you begin to read and decide this isn't for you, I understand. I'm weary about even telling the story, but this place has been an outlet for me to realize that for one, I must not be alone in my experiences and, secondly, the power of how you view a situation and internalize it can make all the difference in how you grow as a person.

Part 1

It started on a Friday after my mother had picked me up from the local dance studio, an activity I started back before I was ten years old, but my interest in it had been waning over the last two years as my closer friends left to either join different studios or different sports altogether. Carrying my large purple striped athletic bag, it felt like it weighed twice as much as when I'd carried it in after dancing for nearly two hours. My walk to the car was more like a limp as my small frame struggled with the size of the bag. After opening the back door and tossing it into the rear seat, I opened the front and greeted my mother. She didn't even look at me as she gave me a monotone hello in response, something clearly on her mind as she set her phone down vertically in the cup holder.

"I'm not sure what he has planned for dinner, but I have to get back to the office," she said as I glanced from the windshield over to her.

Still not looking at me, she continued to speak, "I think I'll be driving in to St. Louis afterwards for another conference tonight, but I'll be back tomorrow or Sunday. I think your dad is going to golf tomorrow so you should be able to do anything you want this weekend." I was used to this by now, it was becoming a regular thing that at least every other weekend she would have something work related that would keep her for a day or two. I was just about to give her a nonchalant response when the phone rang through the Bluetooth in the car, it was my dad.

"Hey, have you picked up Jenna yet?" his deep voice boomed through the car speakers.

Adjusting the volume on her steering wheel, she replied, "Yep, she's sitting here right."

"Hey dad." I greeted as I looked into the radio display as if we hiding somewhere inside it.

"I'm still at the office but I'm finishing up. I'm going to run to pick up a couple of groceries before I come home but are you good with pizza tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah that's fine I guess." I responded indifferently.

"Are you sure?" he asked, picking up on the hesitance in my voice. "If you want something else just order something on postmates. If you do pizza do pepperoni for my half. Love ya, gotta go."

After saying goodbye, the phone clicked off and the low volume of the radio resumed. I looked to my right out the window as I thought about my dinner choices, already over the news that my mother wasn't going to be around this weekend.

"Jenna, please for the love of god clean up your room this weekend. If you'd just spend a couple of hours on your laundry you'd be done and I'll be off your case," she pleaded with me, the first normal sounding this she'd said since I got in the car.

"Yeah, yeah, I was already planning on it," I said with a bit of annoyance in my voice before deciding that I'd look through the dinner options on the phone.

Realizing I'd left my phone is in my gym bag, I look down and see my mom's phone sitting in the cup holder. Without asking, I pick it up and tap the screen to prompt me for the password. Tapping in the four digit code, my mom glances over and clears her throat.

"Umm, excuse me? Where's your phone missy?" she interrupted.

"It's in my bag, I'm just going to look through postmates," I said, not taking immediate notice of a strange discomfort in her voice.

Looking over at her, I know I caught a slight concerned look in her eye before she was forced to look back at in front of her. As I opened the app, out of my peripheral vision I noticed her glance in my direction a couple of times before finally giving the road her full attention. Using my thumb to slowly scroll through the different restaurant options, I looked through the local wing restaurant. After two minutes of going back and forth, I decide to look for another option.

As I clicked on an Italian restaurant down the street from my house, a notification slid down from the top of the screen of a new text message from a contact listed as "JLB."

JLB: "Can't wait to see you try."

Don't ask me how I knew or why I thought this way, but I knew it was something bad. Normally if a message would've came in I would've swiped up on the notification to make it go away before I even read it. But this time, I didn't. Like I said, I don't know why, but instead of swiping it away, I clicked on the message. I knew out of the corner of my eye my mom was still looking forward. I read the message above it, and as my eyes went wide, I scrolled upwards. I only saw a few of them, but the last messages leading up to the most recent one went like this.

JLB: "I love it when you talk like that."

MOM: "I love it when you make me talk like that."

JLB: "I know you do, I'm going to have fun with you this weekend."

MOM: "I need it bad. I can't wait to suck your dick again. This weekend the entire

thing is going down my throat, along with your cum."

JLB: "That's what you said last time."

MOM: "I gotta go. But this weekend, I'm not going to stop sucking it until I get it all."

And then the final message again.

JLB: "Can't wait to see you try."

After reading it all, I felt a pit in my stomach as my thumbs fumbled around the screen to swipe the message app closed. Finally, back on the food application, I looked over at my mom to see that she was still looking forward, clueless as to what I had just witnessed. Looking back at the phone, I couldn't even focus on what had happened, let alone dinner, as I clicked the lock button on the side of the phone and set it back into the cup holder. I felt sick.

"Find anything good?" she said as she glanced down at the phone. I swear I could hear a tone of relief in her voice as she saw the phone was no longer in my hands.

"N-no" I stammered out, looking in the opposite direction now out my window. "I'll just order a pizza later." For whatever reason, I didn't disclose to her that I now knew her secret. A feeling of disgust and betrayal rested in my abdomen as I begun to piece it all together. The late nights at the office, the weird business trips that didn't seem to make a whole lot of sense for just being an office manager.

And then my thoughts turned to my dad, the real victim of the crime I had uncovered.

We didn't say much else to each other for the next five minutes. We were nearly home and she clearly had things on her mind as did I. As she turned into the neighbhorhood, she started to talk again without looking at me.

"Take care of your dad this weekend, don't forget to feed the cat." I could barely hear her over my thoughts as she turned into the driveway.

"You don't have to pack?" I asked, probing a little.

"Oh... no. I knew this might happen so I packed a bag just in case this morning."

"Oh okay." I said, trying to use a tone to sound normal and unsuspecting.

"I love you sweetie, have a good weekend I'll call you later.

"You too." Was all I said before slinging the heavy bag onto my shoulder and closing the rear passenger door. It was a weird response for me, I'm usually more talkative with my mom. Maybe she'd have picked up on it if her head wasn't so preoccupied with what she had planned for the weekend. But this preoccupation, this lack of attention, had been going on now for weeks and was beginning to make sense. Like when you watch a mystery movie and you get to the end and you start thinking of all the obvious hints left throughout the story which should have clued you in to what's going on.

Mom closed the large folding door from her car remote as she backed out of the driveway before I even made it to the entry door. Kicking off my shoes, I stepped up the single stair and in to the house. Closing the door behind me, I stand there for a moment thinking about what just happened.

"What.... the fuck...." I voiced out loud, dumbfounded as my brain works in overdrive almost not believing it.

Was my mom really cheating? And not only that, this was something that had been going on now for months. From the small snippet I'd read this clearly wasn't just a one-time thing. What would my dad think? Oh god... my dad. Does he know? Do I tell him? How do I tell him? Should I tell him? Standing there frozen, my head fell back and I looked at the ceiling, my eyes wide in sheer disbelief. After a long minute or two, I looked forward, shook my head and picked up my bag. I could smell myself, and looking down at my outfit, I knew regardless of what was going through my head I needed to shower.

My relationship with my parents had almost always been positive. Both of my parents were laid back in most respects, but my dad was the more responsible, focused and disciplined one. If I'd done something wrong, he'd always approach the situation by letting me know he was disappointed and what he expected of me. He'd rarely punish me with anything other than maybe a sense of guilt of coming up short. My mom on the other hand, she was always off in her own world developing a new hobby or hanging out with new girlfriends. She didn't worry about me too much, I got good grades and really didn't do anything to get in trouble or cause any problems.

My dad didn't mingle in her short lived interests, I'm not sure why but my guess would be because they didn't last long. He was a salesman, traveling around the state working with various companies. He'd work long days and never on the weekends. A couple of nights a week he'd be working a couple of hours away so he wouldn't get home until after I was asleep. This made the days when we got to hang out together a little bit better I think. I know the whole "distance makes the heart grow fonder" usually applies to romantic relationships, but in this case I think it applied to our connection as well.

Throughout my shower my thoughts kept flashing back to the text message. The vulgar way my mom spoke to this unknown man, words I'd never heard her speak before obviously. Knowing there was this side to her was unsettling, and even trying to think about school or the different techniques from my class today, nothing could overpower the newfound knowledge of my mom's infidelity. I would wonder if she had picked up the phone right away after closing the garage door and called him or messaged him. Was she going back to the office right away or was she going straight to his house? These are the things that began to take over my thought process until I finally managed to turn the shower off and step back into the world.

Putting on a loose pair of sweatpants and a normal casual fitting t-shirt, I sat down on my bed and opened my laptop. Scrolling through my Facebook and Twitter allowed a brief distraction from the hour before but it all came crashing back as my phone rang on the bed next to me. Looking down, it was my dad. Pressing the answer button followed by the speaker phone icon, I began to speak with him as I kept my eyes glued on the computer screen.

"Hey dad," I greeted him.

"Hey yourself, what are we eating for dinner?" he asked, oblivious to the reality of his own world.

"Ummm," I had completely forgotten I was supposed to have food for him too. "I kind of forgot, I'm not really hungry right now. Stomach is kind of upset." I lied.

Well, I guess it wasn't a lie, my stomach wasn't hungry because of the knots it was twisted in.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that, should I stop and get you some medicine? Do you need any..." he wrestled with his choice of words. "women's things?"

I laughed at his discomfort and for the first time since I got out of dance class I smiled. "No dad, I'm good. Not that."

"I only asked because it's that time for mom, I know how you ladies sync up or whatever you want to call it."

"Leave that to us. I think I'm just going to keep to myself tonight, maybe go to sleep early."

"Well if you need anything let me know, I'll check in once I get back, won't be too long. Love ya Jen."

"Love you too dad."

And with that I'd talked my way into an excuse to avoid him for the night. I knew with certainty that I wouldn't have been able to keep a poker face with my newfound world breaking information. My awkwardness would definitely lead to suspicion.

I heard him come home and mess around in the kitchen for a good 30 minutes before his heavy steps boomed onto the stairs. His knock was comically light and quiet for how loud he sounded making his way through the house. He was a tall decent looking man, 6'3 and a normal build. Compared to my 4'11 thin frame, he appeared to be even bigger than he actually was. He kept in shape by working around the house and outside, not going to the gym in years. He wasn't super muscular or toned, he just had the appearance of a truly normal healthy male. For a 37-year-old man, he looked even a few years younger than that because of the genetics my grandmother passed down to him. At 70 my grandma looked to be in her 50s. But for my dad, I guess that's a perk of having his kids so young. Yes, I said kids. My older brother off across the country at college living his own life didn't seem too relevant to this part of my story.

After mustering out the words "come in," he cracked the door open and peaked his head in.

"How ya doin, need anything from downstairs? Hungry yet?" he asked as I think he expected me to order something off the menu.

Looking up to see his eyes staring back at me, I shook my head. "No thanks, maybe later."

There was a sadness in my voice that I was unaware of until I heard the words come out. I knew it was because I had information that would hurt him, that would turn his world upside down as it did to mine. He looked at me, studying my expression. I think he picked up on it too.

"Seriously, I'm good!" I said a little louder this time with a more upbeat tone to try to dispel any suspicion he might have.

"Hmm, okay well I'll be downstairs if you change your mind," he finally conceded."

Without waiting for my response, he closed the door and a few moments later I heard him descend the stairs back towards the kitchen. I tried to focus again on Facebook, there was a particular post about two girls from my school arguing about a guy that had been dating them both. I sighed deeply as I couldn't get away from it, nothing I could do to clear my mind of the lewd text messages my mom had sent to this unknown man. So... after a brief thought I typed into the search bar, "should I tell my dad that my mom is cheating on him?"

The sheer amount of search results was astounding. Posts and websites advising to "yes tell him!" or "no mind your own business" and everything inbetween. I spent a while reading about people who had supposedly gone through with telling their parent about the other and what happened afterwards, the fall out, the divorce or having to go to therapy as a family. It all sounded overly complicated and I was beginning to grow angry at my mother for having put me in this position. I spent a few minutes posting my own story to a website called reddit to see what a bunch of strangers thought. I gave a summary of what had transpired that evening before submitting my post. My plan was to give it some time and then check back to see what people thought about it.

After that I continued my journey to the next few links the search engine provided until I inevitably stumbled across porn. I won't say I was surprised because I wasn't. I couldn't google anything anymore without having to avoid it to some degree. After one time setting my browser to not filter results had caused these types of things to happen from time to time but the titles of the videos being linked were spot on. "Husband cheats on wife with big dick stranger" and "Daughter spies on mom in bed with another man." I tried to scroll past them and continue on my search for actual results, but after about the third page it was purely porn. Videos about step moms, step dads, step daughters, cheating, and something called cuckold.

I kept out of all these until I came across a link leading to, "cheating mom deepthroats stranger." I don't know why, but my small thin fingers danced across the touchpad and clicked on the blue words, leading me to a dark page with a video that began to play without the need of pressing play. A young woman, probably not even an actual mom. dressed in a fishnet outfit and high heels taller than I'd ever seen came on the screen and crawled up to a man half naked on a couch. There was no talk of cheating or wives or husbands, just a woman crawling to a man and peeling his athletic shorts down revealing the longest and thickest penis I'd ever seen. The camera man rotated around to show a side view as the actress teased the tip of it before beginning to suck on him. I sit there, legs crossed on my bed becoming entranced in the video as my mind asked me the worst question. "Is this what your mom is doing right now?"

I physically shook my head in a desperate attempt to forget about my mother as my eyes refocused on her taking more and more of the actor's length into her mouth. The girl moaned as she did it, if it was just for show it was convincing. He seemed to be genuinely enjoying what she was doing. I had never given or received oral sex before, thought I won't lie this isn't the first time I'd seen this on the screen of my laptop. I hadn't had sex at all before actually, thought I had been using the handle of my toothbrush for a few months now to explore different ways to masturbate.

Without realizing, my left hand took on a mind of its own and moved slightly behind me to my side to steady myself as I leaned back a little and my right hand pushed its way underneath the stretchy band of my baggy sweat pants. I didn't go all in, I simply rubbed the tips of my fingers over the front of my vagina and down the sides of my lips, causing the nearly invisible hair on my arms to rise along with tiny goosebumps. After a couple more minutes of watching the girl on the screen get more and more into sucking and stroking this hung model, my fingers made their way into myself, a wet sound escaping from between my legs if my fingers slid the right way. Beneath the cotton of my pants my fingers withdrew to rub the natural lubricant over my clitoris, causing a small but audible moan to escape my mouth. A loud slurp came from the computer speaker as I reinserted my fingers. Before I had a chance to realize what happened next, the door swung open and my dad stood there staring at me, frozen in the doorway with no shirt, only wearing a pair of gym shorts.

I jerked my hand immediately out of pants and with my wet fingers slammed the laptop shut. My computer wasn't set to put itself to sleep upon closing the screen, so as I sat there stunned looking from the computer to my dad and back to my computer the speakers continued to emit a moan and audible gagging sound from what was happening in the video.

"You know I can see what you're doing on your computer from mine, don't you?" he said in a stern authoritative tone.

I sat there frozen, torn between pleading to get out of the room and shrinking inside myself and dying in complete embarrassment.