by 62_goo
a used up BBC ho is a worthless ho, this belongs in IR not LW
This concept could have been made into a very erotic story but your writing style does not do it justice. This reads like a Police report, the only thing missing is 'I was walking in an easterly direction'. What a shame - I suggest you read some Karenkay to get some real feeling and sensuous eroticism into your stories.
You never answered your question "Why"? You just told us what. Did she take the job to fuck the boss? What happened to her? Why did she get the tattoos? What was her relationship with her kids after?
Your story was well written and erotic but I would have preferred a happy ending with Mary getting the go ahead from her husband to collect more tattoos and black lovers.
Though I agree with "Anonymous - This could have been so much more" KarenKay has plenty of IR hot wife/cheating wife stories. But you will be a much better speller than she.
Could have set it up better and put more details in, and why did she do it.
5 *'s
Why be married so you can support a whore dump her they will use her up and throw her away. Its what women like that deserve sell your pussy out and disrespect the one you love. Should never have gotten married and you hold it against husband she is worthless and deserved much worse hopefully she got aids or another disease.
I would have liked to see the story go into more depth,why she cheated or how it started or something from her point of view
.. for a nigga to have tatoos? You can barely see them. But as usual the nigga needs to imitate those white idiots who need to think they important....
I agree with the comments that it could have been written to be more erotic, to have more of her begging for Blackl Cock and the degrading things They made her do. But, it was very realistic. This kind of thing is happening in every city in America, and probably in other countries as well. White married women my age are finding that we can get GREAT sex and AWESOME, MIND-SHATTERING orgasms when we submit to Black Men. Gangbangs are THE best sex ever. Some husbands find out and divorce the wife; some find out and just decide to live with it. Some never find out at all. None of those outcomes seems to be doing anything to slow down the tendency of mature white married women to "go Black."
This pretty much summed up my thought on this post.
<P>
She comes off as just a plot point so you can post something where the husband doesn't go alone with things. How did it start? You have her state she loves him, but nothing on her part to back it up nor did you really have her react.
This is again just painful misogynistic rubbish. Go read ppl like Karen Kay, XLeglover, Goodhusband, or Matt Moreau, or even talented BTB (which is what you are painfully trying to do) authors who I even like like Stangstar or Oshaw. Then have another go. As another commentator said it reads like a police report. The erotic content is nil. The site is called LITEROTICA! Ken
The report tells how many times she got fucked by the Boys. But I want to know some good dirty sloppy cunt details of how the guys fucked her. Come on this is suposed to be "Erotica", not just she fuck 6 guy in the morning, then the same 6 made love too her in the PM. She wasn't going to work all week just fucking.
Ya gits a 3, & thats generous.
It is like a book report,and quite honestly there was nothing in it,plug in a cheating slut wife,a guy with no emotions,he gets a divorce,wife claims she loves him,but they split,she loses her job,etc....first of all,the guy didn't sue the sawmill for what happened? Not only were she and her boss fucking,they weren't even working and the bosses didn't notice? And nowhere is there anything about the wife,why she did this,how she got lost,she is cardboard,and so is he.
Waiting for you to take the plunge. Write a complete story.
Come on 62... You have good ideas, fine dialogue. Very interesting plots with a twist sometimes very surprising!!
This was a very bare- bones story. With just enough about the husband and wife to make sense. From other writer's comments a 1 page limit makes writing the story more difficult. So, obviously you are talented.
Until the next post I remain
AMerryMan
...this one is way to short, without any content and a dull read. I have got the impression that you rushed toward the end.
Your are either a very confused person or chicken shit!
Actually tazz317 makes more sense than the crap you've been posting.
And nothing happens to her boss????!!!!! REALLY!
Stop writing your "shit" really does stink!!!
the wife got her due what happened to the dush boss did he find his way into the saws
No real 'burn' (she suffered, but it happened much, much later). The bastard boss got away with it, too!
Ok. It appears that this interracial thing, is getting to be as big of a fantasy as the cuckolding. I am sure there are some well endowed black guys out there. But from what I gather hearing some female friends talking about it, most black guys have average sized dicks. I have known white women who are in interracial relationships, but usually they are fat, and support their boyfriend’s. Can’t say I am sad, that they are “ off the market”
Interracial is disgusting .
Actual females don't get turned on by this shit .
-julie
"But I love you". Why bother writing that? She obviously doesn't give a rats ass about him. Authors feel like this is a good bit of filler. I'd rather she say something about what a relief and she was so glad to be able to stop pretending. This then gives license to the husband to rain down hellfire on the stranger whose stolen his life.