Vendetta

Nice story and a nice ending but soobvious English is your second lanuage. That along with the Scandivian custums makes it s difficult read.

Scoring a single mother, however gorgeous (using makeup and other props), is not a win. Finding a debt-free virgin of your own race with no tattoos is.

Good story. Erica did nothing wrong. Accepting a proposal in the aftermath of heated sex while going through a divorce and having only dated for a month, is not then some betrayal when she tells him she is visiting her soon to be ex husband to see if they can work it out for the sake of their mutual son. She wss honest and had to make a difficult choice. By playing the high road with Erica, the MC got what he wanted and has a HEA. 5 stars.

Not sure what story some of the prior commenters read in which they blame Erica for somehow laying into the MC regarding Albertson. All she wanted wad the truth. Period. She couldn't be in love with a man even while falling in love with him if she thought he was slandering Albertson ad part of some vendetta. He told the truth. She verified and she told Albertson off. Full stop.

If you want to gripe about Erica then talk about her exploration of reconciliation with hrr husband primarily for the sake of her son. She spent half a day with her soon-to-be ex and found he was the same arrogant, self entitled prick as before. Yeah it hurt the MC yo think what might happen, buy despite her accepting his proposal at her request after a hot sex session, real world factors came into play like her son. It didn't take much for her to realize she was better off with the MC. Good story. Not great. But 4 stars.

When are you going to start writing again?

Get by difficulty reading But plot.?!

MC no empathy And that's that

What kind of a rush Erica has about dating Albertson and trying to save the marriage, after another man has already proposed to her. Somehow she turns out to be fickle and selfish. She scolded the MC for allegedly treating Ass-Hole-Albertson badly and calling him names, while she twirls her tail in front of several men at the same time.

I felt like I was reading an episode of Downton Abby. The language was stiff and hard to read.

Sorry I wanted to like it but just didn't care Perhaps the Marina Set is simply not my cup of tea.

Story has a very good theme however the verbiage is too "matter of Fact" and abut boring .

If Anna-Lena got pregnant after being with AHA, his victory was increased by his turning her from a faithful wife to a man-hungry cheater.

If Anna-Lena got pregnant before being with AHA, his victory was diminished by his seduction of a faithful wife becoming a case where he wasn't special or accomplished, just another prize for a man-hungry cheater. (He hadn't accomplished anything that not everyone could have done)

This story did not flow very well at all.

Parts of this were contradictory and the ending was pretty unsatisfactory. Especially for Albertson. Why the fuck would a woman take up with him after she learned what an asshole he was? She wouldn't.

Let's not even forget the husband's weak-ass reply to Albertson's new girl when she told him AHA had let him have Erica. Should have told her he'd never trade Erica for a dumb bitch like her.

Sigh, WF stories are difficult for me to like. They obviously have the ESL barrier, but they also usually come with very unsatisfactory responses and endings by/for the husband.

AHA wasn't the only AH in that story.

Bullshit ending.

Seemed a bit too convoluted.

Nice story but I feel there more story you could have told. You have talent that I never could hone enough to be happy with.

What to say. Every story you have written so far read as if narrated by a robot with the mind of a twelve year old. No compassion, no emotions. Plots are great, but the storytelling isn't, unfortunately.

Please work on grammar and framing proper statements and paragraphs.

Even when you have good plot poor writing makes the reading very uninteresting.

I did like this one better than some of your others. Keep this type of work up.

I admire you. This is an excellent story. Thanks for sharing.

Wimpy move dropping suit should do more not less

Attorney smart? Hooking up with scumbag

Erica doesn't believe him. Time to leave her behind. Asshole Albertson deserves what ever shit rolls over onto him. And after all the baloney, he should have explained carefully to Albertson's lawyer girlfriend that good old AHA was indeed, an asshole, that she shouldn't trust him and that he was going to continue to look for ways to bury Mr. Asshole. One of your worst stories. Just a horrible ending.

I don't believe a smart and attractive lawyer would fall for Albertsons bull shit and why did he agree with the truce,Albertson had no proof he sent the magazine's.?

. . . your English simply isn’t natural. It reads as though you wrote this in your own language and then used Google translate on it. It’s completely understandable, but way too dry. Still, I read the whole thing.

That she was dating two men at once is OK, because she was honest about doing so, and had already said no to sex until her divorce was final. That the protagonist had fallen love with her was stated, but he was still dating her as a competition with AHA. That’s really not a good theme.

Perhaps things are different in whichever Scandinavian country you live, but if someone got a reputation like AHA in a small town in the US, he’d never be able to continue to live and do business there. Perhaps what you described as a small town is a bit larger than what I’d see as one?

she dated two men at the same time.

kinda a douche bag move. just sayin'.

besides that glaring ruinous problem in plot, it was a good story.

It was tough to understand in some parts perhaps because English must not be your primary language, but that's ok. I have no problems with that at all just like I am not a big stickler for things like spelling and grammar if they are not too "out of control" where you can't actually read and comprehend the story.

It had a good plot and some interesting subplots. It would have been fun to see some more "Pranks" or Hijinks between the two guys. They wouldn't even have to be plot changers, just some comical action where some of it perhaps would have degraded to Sophomoric type pranks like putting his BMW on blocks and removing the tires and hiding them or more photoshop mailings, etc.

I look forward to reading more of your stories.

Has a dirty rotten scoundrels feel.

Albertson got off light.He deserved a heavier punishment.

A dirty picture does not a vendetta make. You need bodies, blood, and burning bitches.

-5* i fucking hate this story,

more appropriate title for this would be " A whimp send a polite letter complaining to a guy who stole, fuck and impregnate his "common law wife" "

Piece of shit.

A fitting name aha. It seems he just was into hurting people. It was a good story and I enjoyed it and really liked the True Love ending.

Ron

Not one of your best...but 3*

just think of cost and consequences. TK U MLJ LV NV

Need an editor who really knows the English language.

Not a bad premise to the story. However the flow wasn't very smooth. An editor would have helped quite a bit.

the winner is usually the righteous, TK U MLJ LV NV

Took place between adults - and more than once - I am astonished LOL

If nothing else that rates a 5 to write a story where the outcome becomes good BECAUSE people communicated to each other and some actually listened and even looked to trust but verify - so unique -

A good story. Could have been great but good will do.

but erica did not believe his story on albert that she had to confirm it from other sources. so much for trust.

Erica wanted to hear from the horses mouth and make up her own mind. That is a good thing, and perfectly natural.

Good story with good characters and action

and then wait for the ending. TK U MLJ LV NV

Thanks man. Damn that was a great story. The only confusing part for me was about Anna and Albertson. Was it a one time intercourse or was it a on going affair, purely talking about sexual penetration. If it was one time, I have a problem with the zero tolerance policy sometimes without some attempt at reconciliation. Been there twice, dumped my first wife with this kind of story but it happened in my second marriage and I forgave and worked it out and have been married for 27 years without further incidents. My second wife was worth me going the extra mile to save, the first wife was a miserable mistake from the start.

While I agree with some of the other commenters about the new woman in his life challenging his veracity about a man she had already heard bad things about, I can say that I do not understand your culture and why he put up with that. He had not said a bad word about the asshole previously even though the man had screwed his common in law wife as expected. Yet, he still had to prove everything to her to erase her doubt? It sounds to me like women don't respect their men much over there...? Even when they supposedly love them and are considering marrying them? Maybe its part of the way your writing translates. Hell, I don't know. Great story anyway...

Damn that was boringgggggggg!!!!!!!!

She had independent confirmation already. And she challenged the Hero anyway? I wouldn't have explained a darn thing. Let her find out like the rest.

nice story nice

<a href="/ style="text-decoration: none">

<font color="#000000">comments</font></a>

Winterfrog, I like reading your stories. You have your own and rather direct and factual relating style. Even though in all this, you do try to paint the different characters with their strength and weakness. ***** If I were to comment on the characters in this story, I would tend to agree with Harry though. This Erica was playing on two horses, came back to him with an attitude, he actually had to defend himself and even though she knew already from her own experience that he didn't slander on AHA, she still asked if that all was true and went back to look for third party confirmation. That, at least in my book, indicated that she did not share the same feelings about him as he seemed to have about her. Even then, she kept meeting AHA and it was only when her trip to Manchester was cancelled that she seemed to have made up her mind. Not encouraging at all, wouldn't you say. Of course, being a single mother with a child is something else than being just single. Still, it looked like she choose rather rationally than "lovingly".

*** While at it, that's another recurring aspect of your stories, the ease with which people change beds and claim to be so deeply in love with the new partner. Maybe that's part of why the divorce rate is so high in your Scandinavian country as you claim it is. Just so you know, Belgium is also well on the way. G.Belgium.

You are improving but quit tinkering after the edit. It doesn't reflect well on your editor or the story. Bad Boy.<P>

I apologise for Harry as he must be off his meds again. You embarrass yourself Harry especially when a man raised in another language can spell better than you and yours is the only negative comment.<P>

Harry every time you use a shotgun instead of a air pistol to try to make your point you only discredit yourself. And especially when doomsdaying a strongly favored author who has a great heart and is trying to get better in a language that you butcher.<P>

Sorry Author but you don't deserve his guttural spewing.<P>

I /we hope for more and better from you at interval as you are always a breath of fresh air and appreciated as such.

With High Regard

Thank you for all of you postings including this one. I have read all of them many times. I have enjoyed the theme in all of them. they read a little ruff but hey. If I tryed to write in your native language I could not even start. I have enough trouble with my native one. thank again and until next time be well and happy. OH! yes please keep writing.jrj

Thank you for all of you postings including this one. I have read all of them many times. I have enjoyed the theme in all of them. they read a little ruff but hey. If I tryed to write in your native language I could not even start. I have enough trouble with my native one. thank again and until next time be well and happy. OH! yes please keep writing.jrj

Another good story. As someone said your writing is getting better.